


Road to Redemption

by naitomeatori



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-03-24 09:42:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 100,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13808577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naitomeatori/pseuds/naitomeatori
Summary: There was no selfless explanation for a complete stranger to follow another halfway around the world on a wild goose chase, but here he was. Despite all of Hanzo's protests, the man calling himself McCree had wedged himself into his life, derailing it in ways he didn't realize he needed. All this, when all he was trying to do was hunt down his brother and finally bring him home. And even that felt like something he wasn't sure he would be able to finish, now.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: Thanks for your patience!! I finally fixed up the ending to something that fit the rest of the story, with bonus McHanzo content that can only come from cleaning someone's apartment. I think this really closes it out now, mainly because I'm tired of looking at it. Thank you ProximityNexus for believing in me! 
> 
> This takes place between the comic "Train Hopper" and ends at the start of recall. I'm sure there's some timeline inconsistencies still in this, but I did my best to clean it up after reviewing all the lore a few weeks ago. This is a long one, clocking in at 31 chapters (with an additional prologue and epilogue), 221 pages and a little over 100k words. I've been working on this since about October 2017, but let it sit for a couple months. I'm glad to say I've finally finished this, and I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I have. 
> 
> Big thank you to Romsca, my editor, because without them this never would've been ready to publish. They even helped me come up with an ending, which was better than the original and allowed Hanzo to actually work out his issues. Thank the gods!
> 
> P.S.: Do NOT comment on this to tell me I've used a foreign word incorrectly. I'm literally fluent in English and Japanese and I promise you I know how to use my own language. If you don't like me writing a Japanese man speaking Japanese, get out because I don't tolerate racists. If this doesn't apply to you, great! Please enjoy this because I wrote it for YOU!

It was 11:45 PM in the dim tavern, with no one saying a word. The man at the bar had been there for almost 12 hours, gesturing every so often for another drink.

He had spent all day searching for someone and had come up empty handed, again. This would mark a full month since he had started looking again for the man he was after, going from city to city, country to country. It was like a wild goose chase, but in this case, he knew the goose existed. He had seen him with his own eyes, at least what was left of him. A man who claimed to be his brother had come almost a year prior to harass him, and shame him for the offerings he gave to the deceased. He had made it his mission now to find him, and bring him to his knees for sparing his life that day like a coward.

He had started in Japan a year earlier, searching the back alleys around the site where he saw him last. He came up with nothing there, so he moved on to asking people about him. Asking if they had seen a man with a robotic body wandering around, about yay high with a katana on his back. No one seemed to know anything about him, except for this one man in the city’s gutter who claimed to have talked to him.

He said that the man he was looking for had gone to Korea, for reasons unknown. So that is where he went next, but again found nothing. Another hint led him to Russia, and another there to England. He had been everywhere in a short time, but still found nothing. So he returned home to Japan, wondering if the incident had ever happened at all, or if he had imagined it. It was only lately though, that an informant brought him new information as to the whereabouts of this man, which led him now to the United States.

So he was here in Houston, at this shit hole bar, after spending the morning asking around. He was getting too old for this, he thought, as he threw back another glass of whiskey and simultaneously called for another.

No matter what happened, he would find his brother. And this time, he would bring him home.


	2. Chapter 1: Act 1 Scene 1

It’s midnight, on the east edge of town where few people go after dark. The bar is nearly empty despite how early in the night it is, and the atmosphere is subdued and stiff. The three men within sit tables apart, one in each corner and the third at the bar itself. The two at the tables sit reading magazines and week-old newspapers, or tinkering with a bit of machinery that doesn’t seem to have a use. The man at the bar looks half asleep, head drooped over a glass drained of the liquid leaving only the ice. His left hand was on the glass, his right in prime position to call for another. The barkeep understood without being asked, and served another to him before going out to ask the other two if they wanted another. He returned behind the bar right as the door opened, the bell ringing as a fourth man slid inside, soaked from the rain outside.

     “Bottle of jack, a coke, and a glass.” He took off his hat and laid it on the bar between him and the other man, and took his seat as the barkeep got him a bottle.

“Looks a bit damp out there, isn’t it?” The bartender finished cleaning off a glass and set it down. “Couldn’t even hear the storm from in here, I s’pose.”

“Just started a few minutes ago, just started comin’ down in buckets. Couldn’t a seen it comin’ it being so dark tonight.” The man’s thick country accent loosened the atmosphere, and did enough to irritate the other man at the bar. “So, sorry I’m a little bit wet, thisn’s the first door I came to after it started with that.”

“It’s fine, you don’t bring anything the roof didn’t used to bring awhile back,” The bartender gestured to the ceiling, which had obviously been patched recently to stop the leaks. “Used to rain as hard in here as it did out there, thanks to some ruffians who shot it up over a hand of cards.”

“Cards, huh?” The cowboy laughed, a deep smooth sound that reverberated off the walls in the small bar. “S’pose I can’t say a whole lot, I’m sure I’ve shot stuff up for less’n a few dollars.”

“You have no honor, to kill a man over something less than a dollar.” The other man at the bar hadn’t spoken a word all night, until now. He had a strong Japanese accent, still somehow clear through how much he had been drinking. He never looked up, but kept staring at his glass of liquor as if it held all the answers he was seeking.

“Yeah, I s’pose not anymore. But I’m guessin’ you don’t got much either, with that sorta look on your face. Where d’ya come from, pardner?”

The other man made a disgusted face at his glass before knocking the whole of it back. He set it down hard before replying, “You have no right to assume my honor, you-“

“McCree, outlaw Jesse McCree, at your service.” He made a slight bow to the other man, and flashed a bright white smile at him, only receiving a scowl in return. “I’m a little ways from home myself, I come from New Mexico. Been hitchhikin’ for this long, and missed my train earlier so I’m here for the night. Where’d you say you’re from?” Blatantly ignoring the other man’s unsavory attitude, he made another move to try and befriend this feral animal.

“I am…” He made a sound, a cross between a sigh and a scoff, half wary and half annoyed with the friendliness of this cowboy. “I am from Japan, which is quite a bit further from here than New Mexico, I believe.” Still avoiding eye contact, he gestured the barkeep to bring him another.

“Wow, Japan? The great Nihon? What’re ya doing way over here? No no, wait, let me guess. You’re, looking for, somethin’, no wait! _Someone_!” He leaned against the bar and grinned, obviously pleased with himself for coming up with something that seemed feasible. “So whaddaya say?”

The other chuckled a bit, a smirk on his face. “I see it is so easy to guess my motives that even an uneducated fool can guess right on the first try.”

At that McCree howled in laughter, smacking his hand on the bar and gaining the attention of the only other two in the bar. “Now that’s a good one! That just seemed to be the most obvious choice, since I don’t know anyone who’d come that kind of distance just for a new choice in liquor or women!” Settling himself back down he turned toward the other, leaning closer and dropping to a little more than a whisper, “That is, grantin’ that you’re after women in the first place, o’course, since I ain’t the type to assume nothin’ about strangers in a bar without even knowin’ their name, o’course.”

The combination of the proximity of his face and the words being spoken brought the other man back to a disgusted look, and he leaned away from the cowboy to further communicate that even if he was interested in something other than a woman, this man wasn’t getting anywhere so long as he was alive. “It would be best if you would forget I was even here, cowboy. We are not, nor ever will be, friends.”

McCree leaned back against the bar again, a pleased look across his face. He reached around for the bottle he ordered, and after wetting the bottom of the glass, filled the rest with coke. “His night is on me, bartender,” he said with a gesture of a finger pistol toward the other.

“And here I was considering calling in your bounty, but then you go and do something like that. I hope for your sake you brought plenty of currency, because he’s been here all day.”

“Eh, ‘course I have that kind of currency. It’s what friends do for another, you know?” He ended with a smirk, and received the expected scowl in response.

“If you think I am going to deny your gesture merely because I am not your friend you have another thing coming, fool.”

“Nah, that’s fine, but by accepting that just means you’re at least considerin’ giving me your name, y’know.”

“Is that all you want in exchange for leaving me alone for the night?”

“Well, if I tell ya yes, you won’t talk to me anymore afterwards, and I don’t think I really want that. So I s’pose you don’t have ta tell me nothin’, since I’m just gonna keep talkin’ to ya anyway.”

“You are insufferable. How have you made it this far in life with that sort of attitude? You do not think you can just make enough friends to get yourself out of trouble with the law, do you?”

“’Course not. I only make friends with people who can kick my ass, and handle their liquor. Since I can’t do neither of those things myself, it sort of balances out.”

“You cannot hold your liquor?” There was that face again, the one that if you didn’t know better you would think that he had smelled something down right awful. “Why do you order a whole bottle if you are going to be wasted on a single glass?”

McCree grabbed the bottle by the neck and held it up, a grin on his face, “Well pardner, I just like to party is all!” He ends with a laugh, like that was the funniest joke he’d ever made. The other man just stared at him, dumbfounded, mouth slightly agape at this scene this idiot was making in what had been the quietest place in town just an hour before.

“Kimi wa bakadesu,” _You are an idiot,_ he muttered, his expression unchanging, waiting for this man to calm himself. _All this foolish behavior, and he hasn’t even touched his drink yet_ , he thought.

“Hey, I know that one.” Setting the bottle back down, he settled back against the bar and took a sip of his drink. “You know, I used to be in this secret sector of Overwatch, you know, the guys who saved the world from Omnics? Yeah, that was me too. Well I was in this secret joint with this Japanese kid, had this absolutely wild hair. Some kind of specialized ninja, and when he first joined, he’d speak a lot a Japanese to all of us just ‘cause he could. Now he never called me an idiot, but he used ta call our leader one behind his back, and we all knew what he was sayin’ ‘cept our leader didn’t, so it was real comical for him to say it durin’ a meetin’ and we all would laugh and Morrison would just get angry ‘cause he didn’t know what he even said. I know how ta say what my name is, and I know some expletives, so you’ll have ta be a little more creative if you’re gonna try that trick.” A little dry from his story, he took another sip from his glass before touching it up with coke.

“You used to work with a ninja, you say? I used to be a ninja, before I,” He bit his tongue, since remembering that sort of thing was unsavory. “I follow my own path now, where I do not owe anyone anything.”

“I understand that, but I sort of make it where people owe me one. Speakin’ of, you still ain’t given me your name, ninja.”

“I am an archer, now. You can call me Hanzo, if you must.”

“I must, really. So Han, you have any stories you wanna share or should I keep talkin’ about mine?”

The other rolled his eyes and kicked back another glass, setting it down between the two of them. “Give me some of yours, since you won’t be finishing it alone.”


	3. Chapter 2 Act 1 Scene 2

Hanzo set down the bottle, having poured the rest of it into his glass which no longer held any ice. He pushed his long bang back behind his ear, leaning against the bar with his other arm. He held up the glass, as if making a toast, and sighed at McCree who had finished his glass and was working on the bottle of coke by itself.

“And that, is why I am here, cowboy. You look a little tired, surely you are about ready to give up?”

“Nah, I ain’t drank enough to go to bed yet. Might have to have ya carry me home after a while though, if I drink another couple glasses.” He was leaning over the bar, his chin in his hand and his robotic hand resting on his knee, holding the coke bottle. He had finally dried off, and his gut told him he had better start moving on before he overstayed his welcome, but he was too invested in this man next to him that he found it hard to want to leave.

“I am not carrying you anywhere, you buffoon. You brought yourself here knowing you cannot hold liquor, and you will sleep yourself sober at this bar if you cannot leave on your own. I am sure you mentioned catching a train in the morning, did you not? It would be smart for you to stop while you are ahead.”

“Nah pardner, the train can wait till later. I ain’t even got a ticket yet, so it don’t much matter when I catch it. The only issue I’ve got is that, I ain’t got a room for the night, and I’m afraid I’m gonna be spent out after payin’ for your drinks.” McCree gave a small grin at the other man, a look that you’d get from a puppy that wants desperately to come home with you, complete with the eyes from under shaggy hair.

“Do not even try that, I am not so easy.” Hanzo pulled himself back around even with the bar, and took a swig from the last of the jack. “It would not be too hard to assert that that was your plan this entire time, would it, bandit?”

“Awh, that ain’t very kind of ya. Do I look like the type that’d do a fella that way? You act like I had this planned ‘fore I even came in here, and I ain’t never been here before!”

“I tend to be a little suspicious of any gunslinger who orders an entire bottle knowing full well they cannot handle more than two glasses.”

“Well honestly the plan is to always take it with me, so I’ll always have some when I can’t sleep, but you sorta took it for yourself and I ain’t suicidal so I didn’t stop ya. ‘Sides, I’m buyin’ the rest a your drinks, so it was half yours anyway.”

Hanzo paused for a moment and watched the liquid as he swirled it in the glass. He chewed on his lip and furrowed his brows before looking back to McCree. “I told you why I was here, so why is it that you are here?”

McCree straightened himself up on his stool and set his bottle down. “Well, I’m between bein’ on the run, and looking for work, since I was put out after Overwatch was shut down. There’re some folk who have somethin’ against me, and frankly, I have somethin’ against them too, so I guess we’re even. I been tryin’ to catch them before they catch me, and otherwise stay under the radar. An, that’s a little easier said than done, since trouble seems ta find me no matter where I go. Hell, I’m hidin out now ‘cause there was some box thing on the train I came in on that these armed mercenaries wanted, they were threatenin’ passengers and wavin’ guns around, so I offed ‘em, and now I’m the bad guy again. Should know better than to save a bunch of innocents, I guess, the way the law sees it. Don’t mean nothin’ that I helped save the world from omnics, no, once an outlaw, always an outlaw, I say. So I s’pose, in the end, I’m hidin’.”

The bartender brought them both new drinks as he finished his story, fresh ice, a coke for the cowboy and another whiskey for the ninja archer. “So you’re telling us that you didn’t try to hijack a train coming into town? You just happened to be on the same train that someone else was trying to hijack, and defended it?” He had been joking about turning in the bounty earlier in the evening, but the story behind the bounty existing at all seemed a little sketchy to him if what McCree was saying was true.

“Yeah, sure as sugar that’s what I’m sayin’. These guys were all wearing masks, and had guns, and threatened a couple of the train staff after scarin’ everyone else. I couldn’t let a bunch of ruffians just take over a train, so I disposed of ‘em. Still not real sure how the law found out about it before we hit the station, unless the hijackers were workin’ in cahoots with ‘em or somethin’. Wouldn’t that be somethin’!”

The barkeep shook his head in a bout of disbelief. “If the law was using ruffians to do illegal things for them, that would shake the town to its core. I’d advise you to keep a lid on that, and don’t be telling it outside of here, you hear? If you can make me a deal with that, I’ll sell you a room with this liquor and make sure the law doesn’t find you, alright?”

“That sits just fine with me, and I thank ya for the offer.” McCree finished his coke and popped the cap off the new one before pouring some into the glass of ice. “What time did you say he’s been here since?”

“He came in a little after I opened, which was about noon. Been drinking ever since.”

“Hey pardner, I think it’s about time you came off that, that can’t be good for your liver,” he said, sliding the glass of coke over to him. “You really ain’t gonna feel well in the mornin’, maybe you might try ya some water? Barkeep, you get him some water?”

“I do not need anything.” Hanzo pushed the glass of coke aside, and shook his head to the bartender. “I am fine and I am perfectly able to function, and I will feel fine tomorrow as well.”

McCree took his glass back and took a drink, never taking his eyes off the other man. “Listen, I’ve seen folk who could hold their liquor, but I ain’t never seen someone as stubborn as you about it. I’m sorta surprised you been doin’ this all day and ain’t thrown anything up yet. Or worse, poisoned yourself.”

“If you are going to spend the rest of the night harassing me over this, I can very well just leave.” He stood and laid a few bills on the bar before grabbing the bow that had been to his left. “Goodbye, cowboy.”

McCree also pulled some bills out, more than enough to cover what Hanzo didn’t with his, and stood up with him. “Now I can’t just let you walk out there by yourself, when that wet air hits ya you’re just gonna pass out, so let me help ya get where you’re going, alright p-“

The tip of Hanzo’s bow cut him off, a sharp gold point to his neck that only communicated that he should shut his mouth before things get messy. “I told you, I am perfectly capable of handling myself, and I do not need the help of some cowboy Casanova who relies on alcohol and tall tales to get men to go with him!” His breathing was off, and all this pestering was making him feel the effects of hours of bottles of liquor. He wasn’t used to this, but he was not about to let this devil help him anywhere. He turned sharply away from the other man, and a sudden dizziness caught him. Without thinking he caught himself with his bow, punching a hole in the board floor under his weight. “Kuso…” _Shit._ He refused to look back at that man. He was right, he should’ve been done and easing off hours ago. His pride refused to let him admit that, and he knew if he could just get outside, get his head cleared from this whole interaction, he would be fine. He looked up from the floor, and noticed that the other two men had apparently left, and it bothered him that he couldn’t recall when that happened. Was it right after this fool came in making a ruckus? Or was it later, when he was explaining why he was here, or even when the other man was talking... Seriously, how could he have missed the sound of that bell as they left? With these thoughts in mind he began to realize just how early in the morning it must be, and how much he really had to have drank tonight. The reality set in that the cowboy was still right, and that there was no way he would make it all the way back to where he was staying. _This is no time to show weakness_ , he thought, and pulled himself back upright. He was going to show that irritant what he was really made of, a Shimada does not give in. He exhaled, feeling the eyes of the other two men on him, and took one last step forward before falling into the abyss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pro tip: Don't be like Hanzo. Drink some fucking water. Better, don't spend 12 hours straight drinking. Oh my God.


	4. Chapter 3 Act 2 Scene 1

Light filtered through a thin off-white curtain, a design illuminated on the floor through the holes moths had chewed in the fabric. A dresser sat on the opposite wall from the window, an antique wooden one with nicks and cuts from a long lifetime of use. A small round table sat against the wall adjacent to the window, along with a couple chairs, and a bed on the opposite wall from those. The rest of the room was barren, nothing hung on the pastel yellow walls, and the floor was a worn brown carpet. Hanzo opened his eyes to see a white ceiling, slightly discolored a little to the left from water leakages. He laid for a few moments before sensing someone else, and turned his head to see the cowboy from the bar reading by the window.

McCree had yet to realize he was awake, and was several chapters into a classic novel he had found in the room. He was sitting in a chair that was too small for a man his size, back to the window and his hat laid on the table near him. From this angle Hanzo couldn’t tell what he was reading, just that he must have been reading it for quite a while to be so far into it. His next thought was of escape, and that he would have to move very silent to not disturb this man who obviously did not know when to give up. He had removed the blanket and began to stand when all the alcohol from the day before caught up to him. His head felt like someone dropped a rock on it, and his stomach wanted to forcibly empty itself effective immediately. Gasping slightly, he put himself back on the bed, a hand on his head.

“Glad to see you’re awake, though I doubt you are.” The small noises had alerted McCree, who was watching him from the chair, book still in hand. “I tried to warn ya before, but you’re more stubborn than a mule. Wouldn’ta hurt so bad to just swallow your pride and drink some water, ya know.” His words were met with a sharp glare, but no retort. They both knew he was right, and Hanzo wasn’t in any position to argue it right now.

“Water, is there any now?” Hangovers weren’t his specialty. He had only had a handful of them before, but he knew the best course of action was water. He managed to look at the other man when he spoke, who pointed to a jug on the table. “Is there any that is closer?” He wasn’t confident in his ability to walk over there, and he definitely did not want to be anywhere near that cowboy.

“Well, there ain’t a table over there, so the next closest is out that door and down the hall on the right.” McCree knew hangovers well. Drinking games when he was 15 years old, taste testing every bourbon in the pantry, if you can name it, he most likely took it too far. He learned the hard way the importance of stopping while you’re ahead, and the infinite utility of water. He knew how Hanzo felt too well. “It ain’t gonna hurt you to come over here and get some of this water. You want some help?”

Hanzo sneered, sharply recoiling before his head reminded him of where he was. Take help? From _him_? Absolutely not. He would have been fine if this cretin hadn’t bothered him. Now he’s here, with him, and has been for who knows how long. This is what will teach him to not get distracted by attractive strangers, to not lower his guard again even for a moment. He looked back over, immediately coming nose-to-nose with the other man, startling him into almost falling backwards.

“Come on, actin’ like that ain’t good for ya.” McCree grabbed his arm, gently as if it would break if handled too roughly. “It’s alright if you get a lil’ sick, I’m practically an expert at cleaning that up anymore. You can stand, I’ve got ya.” McCree pulled him to his feet, keeping his hands on him for support as Hanzo tried to clear himself up enough to not need it. Unfortunately for him, this wasn’t something he could just “walk off.”

He stood staring at the floor between their feet for what seemed like hours, waiting for his head and stomach to settle down enough to take the first step. _This is embarrassing,_ he thought, mainly at the fact that he apparently required another man to help him get this far. No one can ever know about this, about him needing help, about him being so foolish as to get this bad in the first place, and no one would. He decided then that this was the end of the line for this outlaw cowboy wanna-be, just as soon as he could think straight again.

McCree helped him over to the table and let him sit again, sliding a glass over to him for the water. Hanzo put his hand on the glass and stared at it, as if the water was just going to pour itself. He groaned. The last time he was this hungover, his mother had helped him through it, wringing cold towels over his head and holding his glass for him to drink. That was ages ago, and his mother had long since passed away. He poured the water himself, slowly, moving as little as necessary so as to not upset his head. McCree watched him, wanting to offer more help but knowing instinctively that this man was too proud to accept it.

“Do you read much classic literature?” McCree picked up the book he had been reading and turned it so Hanzo could see. In worn gold letters, the text _Madame Bovary_ was written on the maroon cover, a silhouette of a woman in a dress beneath it. “This one’s kinda nice, I think. Some of it’s in French though, and I’m not all too good with that part.”

Hanzo looked him square in the face, unsure of why he decided to just start some small talk during this trying time. Couldn’t he tell he wasn’t in the mood to think about anything? This fool, he swears... “French is not all that different from English, in my opinion.” Of course he had read classic literature. It was one of his favorite past times, and of course he knew French. Who didn’t know French anymore? “Is there anything you are very good with?” He took a drink of his water, wincing at having to move his head.

“Well I know Spanish and English, I just sorta never got around to learnin’ anything else with the Crisis and runnin’ from the law and bein’ in Overwatch. Hard to find time to do stuff like that when you never stay the night the same place twice. I read a lot when I travel though, so that has ta count for somethin’.” McCree poured himself a glass of water, feeling the atmosphere start to get stuffy again. “So, do ya know a lot a languages?”

Hanzo rolled his eyes and sighed. Was he required to give this man his whole life story? “This questioning is pointless. How will knowing these things enrich your life, cowboy?”

“Well I,” McCree leaned back in his chair, donning his thinking face. “I guess I was just tryin’ to make conversation, is all. I guess you don’t have ta answer if ya don’t want to, but I didn’t think sittin’ in silence sounded very fun.”

“Silence is fine with me.” He finished off his glass in one, and reached to refill it. “There is no reason for us to have any sort of meaningful conversations. My head is in pain, I do not know where I am, and you are a snake.”

McCree sighed and drooped his head. “Why do I gotta be a snake? I carried ya here when ya passed out, and gave ya the bed, an’ I’m helpin’ ya with your hangover, I ain’t done nothin’ wrong to ya.”

Hanzo returned his words with a glare. “I am sure you had at least one thought of befouling behavior during all of this.”

“Would you believe me if I said I didn’t have a one?” He smiled back at him, a gentle smile to further enforce that he was not the type to make unwanted advances on someone regardless of if they were conscious or not. “I really ain’t the type a guy you seem to think I am, and I really ain’t sure how I gave you the impression that I was only talkin’ to ya to meet an end.”

The other man lowered his head to stare into his water. _Could I have really misjudged someone so badly?_ No, there is no way this fool wasn’t after something. He had to be lying about his past, what he was doing here, everything, saying those crazy things to seem like a good person, just so he could swindle someone. There was no way a real outlaw would walk into a bar and announce who he was, it was all a publicity stunt, and Hanzo wished the barkeep had actually called the authorities on him just so he wouldn’t be in this mess now. When he looked back up, McCree was turned half around in his chair trying to look through one of the larger holes in the curtain.

“Why do you not simply pull back the curtain, it would be much easier to see out that way.”

“Well ‘cause there’s some activity out there, and I don’t want ‘em to look over and see me starin’ at them and draw attention to myself. I’m tryin’ to figure out what they’re doin’.” He turned back around, pointing a thumb to the window. “Sort a just looks like a bunch a kids bein’ delinquents to me, but I could be wrong.”

Hanzo shook his head slightly, enough for effect but not so much to reinstate the knives he felt the last time he moved. Perhaps he really was wrong about him. He just seems too carefree to be taken seriously as someone who is really hiding from the police.

“Cowboy,” he furrowed his brow at him before continuing. “Are you really an outlaw, or is that a tall tale you tell people to be more attractive?”

“Really an outlaw?” McCree huffed a little at that. “I’ve been in trouble with the law since I could shoot a gun. My sister was killed by a gang when I was barely 16, an’ I ended up in another gang smugglin’ arms until Overwatch busted us up. I guess they thought I was too skillful with a gun to just kill me with the rest of ‘em, so they brought me into their ranks and let me try an’ rebrand as a hero instead of an outlaw. Things went real nice then, up until Overwatch was shut down and I was suddenly on my own again. The law don’t care who I was then, neither, so I could help a lady cross the street and they’d try ta arrest me for somethin’. I guess I ain’t really an outlaw now, since I ain’t smugglin’ arms or nothin’, but I am still on the run from the law, so I guess it’s a matter of perception.”

“Why would you announce who you were to everyone in the bar if the police are after you?”

“Well ‘cause I sort of judged this place when I walked in, and it didn’t seem like anyone really cared how many people any other guy had killed so I felt pretty safe just sayin’ it out. An’ I guess I was right, since the other guys just went home after a while and the barkeep sold me a room for cheap to keep me from bein’ found.”

“How are you so confident in your ability to read a room, bandit?”

“I been doin’ it my whole life, guess I just sort of do it without thinkin’ anymore. Hey, I thought questions couldn’t enrich anyone’s life, pardner. You got an angle with all this?” McCree was teasing, giving Hanzo back his own words. He had no problem telling people his entire life story, but if that’s what they wanted he’d want to make sure they knew there wasn’t a happy ending to anything.

Hanzo gripped his glass and turned away, not sure whether he should be offended over this or not. “I have no angle, I was trying to talk myself out of taking your life is all.” He finished off his second glass and went to stand, still overcome with a sickness in his stomach. “I am going to find the shower now, and you do not have to stay and wait for me to return.”

McCree stood instinctively to offer his assistance, but was waved off. _Right, there was that pride again_ , he thought. “I don’t really think the big man who owns this place would be very happy if ya killed me here, so at least do him a favor and clean it up, alright?” He laughed, playing along with what he thought was a joke, only to get another glare in response. Settling back, he picked up his book again and smiled at the other, “I’ll wait right here for ya, take as long as ya need.” Another huff. With one hand on the wall, Hanzo walked himself out of the room without a second glance at the other man.


	5. Chapter 4 Act 2 Scene 2

Showers are relaxing, even ice-cold ones without soap. The tub was surprisingly clean given the shape the bedroom had been in, although it was slightly discolored from years of use. Hanzo sat in it, leaned up against the wall as water rained on him. He felt weak, and couldn’t bring himself to try and stand. It took enough just to get undressed, and he wasn’t sure even after the shower if he would be willing to stand long enough to put them back on. He resigned himself to just staying in the shower, until he was suitably soaked and his skin turned to prunes.

After catching himself dozing off again, he decided it was time to get out. Even though the water had lost its cold sting long before, he felt thoroughly refreshed. Perhaps he had spent enough time there that his head would feel better and he would be able to walk again. He turned off the water and raised himself out, grabbing a towel off the shelf as he went. His body did feel better, and after making a half-assed attempt to dry himself off he wrapped the towel around his waist, threw his clothes over an arm, and made his way back to the bedroom.

He walked in to McCree asleep in the same chair he left him in, feet crossed on the table and the book resting on his chest. He couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight, just before catching himself and scowling at the floor. He kicked the door shut, a little harder than necessary, and consequently woke the other, whose attention was immediately drawn to the half-naked man before him.

“Hey pardner, feelin’ any better?” No matter what he did, he couldn’t wipe the shit-eating grin off his face for anything. He wasn’t trying to stare, but the other man sure was built nice to just be an archer. Mainly distracted by his muscles, he didn’t see the scars littering his body until he turned away from him. Some were large, while others were thin, but they were very evident on his back and shoulders, interesting McCree in other ways.

“I can at least walk without assistance, now.” Hanzo either didn’t notice the way he was looking at him, or didn’t care. He sat on the bed and began running his fingers through his towel-dried hair, even though the result was the same as before he started. He needed a brush, but he couldn’t see anywhere one would even be kept. He would worry about it later.

McCree barely registered his response, still going over situations in his mind as to where and how a man would obtain so many scars. He had a few himself, bullet wounds and near misses with blades, not to mention the ones on his left arm from where he lost his forearm. Still, nothing he had could compare, and he thought of the cyborg he worked with in Blackwatch who was the only other one he had ever seen with those kinds of scars.

“Hey uh, pardon if this is rude, but what’d ya used to do ta get all them battle scars?” He was nothing if not forward, and even more curious. If it was too much he was sure the other would let him know, and at best he would get an answer.

“What?” Hanzo gave him an inquisitive look, not understanding what he was talking about.

“Them scars on your back, are they from fightin’?”

Hanzo shifted a bit, trying to think of a suitable response. “I do not think we are close enough to discuss that sort of thing.” He refused to make eye contact, instead staring toward the place where the wall met the floor on the adjacent wall.

McCree gave him a soft look, thinking of anything else to say to show him he didn’t have to be so distant even though they just met. “If you need to talk about it, I’ll be right here to listen. I used to work with a guy who had similar marks, but he says he earned ‘em for cheatin’ death. I got a few m’self, from firefights when I was in the gang. Hell, lost a whole half my arm in one battle.” He holds up his robotic arm for illustration, “It ain’t shameful to talk about what kind of crap you survived through, them scars just mean you lived and they didn’t.”

Hanzo gripped his arms, focusing harder on the object of his stare. “It is not that easy. These are not from battle, nor from my enemies. They are painful reminders of a past I do not want to remember, of my failures as a Shimada, and the fact that there is no kindness in the world for people like me.”

As much as he wanted to say he was being dramatic, McCree could tell this was something serious, and it wasn’t something he was going to willingly talk about today, or maybe ever. Context clues work wonders, and McCree wasn’t an idiot. This man had obviously been through a lot, and wasn’t valued by anyone near to him. _That would explain the trust issues_ , he thought, thinking his way around this new information so he can be as sensitive as possible moving forward.

“I didn’t mean to intrude, so I’m gonna apologize right quick. I’m real sorry for remindin’ you a stuff you didn’t want ta think about, an’ I won’t never do it again.” His voice was soft and earnest, and he had taken his feet off the table to show he wasn’t still relaxing. He wanted to go to him, wrap his arms around him and argue that kindness could exist for him, and he wanted more than anything to prove that. Unfortunately for both of them, Hanzo wasn’t the sort of man who would appreciate a comforting hug from an acquaintance, so McCree just sat slightly forward in his chair with the thoughts of what could have been.

Hanzo just sat there staring at the same spot, his grip tightening and loosening on his arms. This was the one part of his life story he never wanted to share with anyone, and was glad that the other man had decided to back off. He tried to stop, but memories of his upbringing had found their opening to weasel back into his mind and fill him with dread and anxiety. The man had been gone for years now, ending the abuse, but his body stung as if it had only happened yesterday. It wasn’t that he had never wanted to talk about what had happened, but that he could never bring it up directly, instead pushing the blame onto his father instead of the real culprit. The last time he spoke to someone was about his father’s harsh training of him, he was told that he was making it up, that “our father isn’t like that, Hanzo,” and “if he really was abusive he wouldn’t have given me the new thing that just came out.” He never spoke another word about anything to anyone, not even his mother, who thinking on it now may have already known but did not say anything. What could anyone have even done? Family doesn’t speak ill of each other, and an accusation of this nature would not have been met well.

Thankfully Genji had been left out of this entire situation. He was the baby, spoiled rotten until the end by anyone and everyone. Thinking of Genji was hit-or-miss. Some days it brought him pain, and other days, relief. Today seemed to be relief, relief that despite everything he was able to find his own path, that he lived. This was easier to think about than that other man, even though there was still pain from the time he was pushed to kill him. Genji, his happy little brother who had done nothing wrong in his whole life, the only brother he had, the one person he cared for more than anyone or anything else, his confidant even though he was sure Genji payed no attention when he spoke to him.

He sat there lost in thought over his brother, not noticing that the other man had moved to sit next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. The sudden contact broke him out of his mind, and he turned to look up at the other, a look on his face that said that he did not know what to do next. McCree put his other hand on top of Hanzo’s, rubbing his thumb over his fingers that had been unknowingly digging into his arm.

“It’s alright, you’re safe here.” His voice was warm and soft, just like his expression, and it took Hanzo a moment to understand where that comment came from. He looked down at the hand on top of his, a blank expression to match his now empty head. The only thing he could think of were unfinished questions, beginnings with no ends, ends with no beginnings, and random words that could only go between the two, but nothing forming a coherent thought. He was lost, feeling almost like his mind wasn’t entirely in his body anymore. He knew that this physical contact was neither wanted nor unwanted, but somewhere in between. His two sides fought, one insisting he pull away, the other begging for him to give in. His body picked a side without consulting his brain, and he leaned against the other man’s shoulder with a sigh.

McCree was taken slightly aback by this turn of events, unsure if he should try more comforting maneuvers or if he should leave everything as it was. It was an easy choice for him, and he slid his arms around the other in the least awkward fashion he could given the way they were sitting. He wondered what had happened, what Hanzo had been thinking of that would incapacitate him to such a high degree. Accepting that he may never know, he rested his chin on the other man’s head. He felt him relax a bit, which was surprising but not unwelcome, leading him to wonder instead how long this would last before a deadly instrument was pointed at his head again. He decided that he would cross that bridge when he came to it.


	6. Chapter 5 Act 2 Scene 3

“Genji…” McCree awoke to a voice, barely above a whisper but close in proximity. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he was definitely laying down and he was definitely just waking up. He tried to move, but was quickly aware of something that was in the way. He looked down to see Hanzo curled against his chest, still in his towel from earlier. _Was the hug that good that we both fell asleep in it?_ He reached his free hand around to lay it on the other’s arm, which was stretched across his stomach. He was shocked that the other man hadn’t woken up before him and made his escape, but he was sure he preferred this reality better. It was warm, and the most subtle and comforting thing he figured either of them had done in months.

“Anata wa… anata no namae wo… yogosu… Genji…” _You, you dishonor your name, Genji._ Hanzo tensed up against McCree, and McCree turned his head to look at him better. He figured he must be having some sort of dream, causing him to talk in his sleep. _Did he say Genji?_ McCree thought back a moment to when they had spoken earlier. He hadn’t given it much thought when he said it, but he did remember him calling himself a Shimada. Certainly he wasn’t talking in his sleep to Genji Shimada, who McCree had worked with in Blackwatch. _That would be awful funny, wouldn’t it_ , he thought, not yet realizing the implications that would have. He laid a moment listening to the breathing of the other before the conversation from the night before reminded him of why this man was here in the first place. He was here to find his brother, someone who had brought dishonor onto his entire family and ended the lives of everyone close to him, and finish the job he should have finished years ago. He rubbed the shoulder of the other man with the arm that was still around him, and took a breath.

What was he supposed to do? Should he tell him that he knows the guy that he’s looking for? Should he just keep his mouth shut and pretend he didn’t hear a thing? McCree knew he didn’t owe this man anything, so why was he even considering letting on that he knew where Genji was? Which he didn’t, since Genji left Overwatch to go realize himself and he hadn’t seen him since. He had heard some rumors, but that was beside the point. Right, he didn’t know anything about this Genji so there was nothing for him to even tell. He smiled to himself, happy that he had found a way around picking a side between the brothers.

McCree had been close to Genji, and they were a troublesome pair during the Blackwatch missions. They worked well together to an extent, but Genji always had to get the attention for the mission success in the end. There weren’t many rules in Blackwatch, other than to respect your leader, and respect each other, and to respect the mission. Otherwise, everything was fair game so long as everything was taken care of. He had stopped counting the times that Genji had stepped on him to look better to Reyes. McCree wasn’t the type to complain over trivial things and it wouldn’t have done any good if he had. He figured Genji needed to show him up so Reyes wouldn’t treat him like dirt, and McCree even went so far as to take the blame for a failed mission once so Reyes would take his anger out on him instead. That was one hell of a beating, but it lead to Genji trusting him more than he did originally. They were teammates and partners, and they relied on each other to fulfill each mission after that. At one point, McCree would’ve been happy being a little more than just friends, but Genji had made it clear he was more interested in McCree’s good friend Angela instead. He felt bad thinking it, but he was actually kind of relieved when Genji finally left Overwatch, because then he could focus more on what he was supposed to be doing there and not how nice his partner’s rear end was.

He brought his thoughts back to Hanzo, and his reason for being here. He had heard Genji talk before about his brother, a soulless person who tried to kill him in cold blood during a verbal exchange. The way he had talked about him, he was someone to be avoided at all costs, as he was someone who haphazardly killed anyone he crossed. If this really was the same man, McCree wondered how much Genji had actually known about his brother. He had only just met him, but he could tell from the little interactions they had had that he was just damaged, not soulless. A man highly guarded from the world directly caused by a terrible past, who had most likely never been shown any decent amount of compassion until today. McCree had always been a bit sensitive, and he couldn’t stop himself from wondering what would happen if he was able to fill this man’s life with compassion the like he had never dreamed he would see. He doubted the other man would let him get that close to him, so this was just a pipe-dream, he supposed.

Hanzo awoke to the steady breathing of another person, and without thinking he tightened his grip around him. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this close to someone, but he knew it had been with Genji. This was warm and comforting, and he almost let himself get distracted by how safe he felt, forgetting who the other person must be. He quickly pulled his arm back and pushed himself up, startling the other man in the process.

“Well good mornin’, you in a hurry to get someplace?” McCree stayed on his back, the arm that had been around the other still half-hanging in the air. “Thought maybe you changed your mind about being so cold, thought maybe you were wantin’ to try being easy on yourself.”

“Shut up, cowboy.” His tone was softer that he intended, and he scolded himself for letting this affect him like that. He didn’t want this man to think he was getting anywhere with him, but he really wasn’t setting a good precedent by sleeping next to him in nothing but a towel. He decided it was high time to put his clothes back on, before this handsy gunslinger got any other ideas. He lifted himself off the bed, checking his towel as he went so he didn’t lose it.

McCree sat up as he walked away, worried that he was somehow still giving off the vibe that he was only doing anything for the wrong reasons. If he could convince him that he only had the purest of intentions, maybe it would soothe his agitation with him and make him more comfortable. _A fat chance of that_ , he thought, certain that the other man felt everything out of his mouth was a lie. There had to be something he would take as fact, something that would make him trust him even if only a little. The first thing that came to mind, though, was something he had planned to avoid.

“So uh, you said you were lookin’ for your brother? You didn’t tell me his name, but I think I know him.” He paused, waiting for Hanzo to react. Nothing. “Genji, right? Shimada? Skinny guy with cat-like agility, never takes his eyes off pretty women? Mostly robot now though, so I guess he ain’t doin’ much on that last front.” He paused again, sensing a tension. Hanzo had put nearly all of his clothes back on, but had stopped tying his belt during that sentence, simply staring at a knot half tied.

“How... How do you know anything about my brother?” He didn’t turn to face him, but McCree could sense that he was now interested, and even a little angry. _Way to go, Jesse, you may have just made matters worse for yourself._ He leaned forward and put his hands in his lap, taking a breath before continuing.

“Well like I tried tellin’ ya before, I used to work with him when we were in Overwatch. He and I used ta go on a lot a missions together, helpin’ out around the world during and after the Crisis. He flew the coop one day though, sayin’ he needed ta go find himself. I say, I may know where he’s been at, but we ain’t friends, so I guess I’ll just keep it to myself so I don’t bother ya.” He averted his eyes, having been looking at Hanzo’s back, and instead looked off to the side. He ran a hand through his hair, stopping at the top of his head to scratch an itch borne from the slight anxiety of where this discussion could lead.

“You... know where my brother is?” Hanzo turned his head to see him over his shoulder, his expression a mixture of disbelief and a scowl. If this self-proclaimed outlaw knew the whereabouts of his brother, he was going to have that information. A bout of silence sat between them, and Hanzo took that time to finish dressing himself. When he was finished, he made his way back over to the other man, standing right in front of him with arms crossed across his chest.

“Tell me where he is, prevaricator. I am not here to play games with you.”

McCree wasn’t sure what to say next. All he had was rumors, and he didn’t want to give him the wrong one. He wouldn’t say he was necessarily scared of him, but on the other hand, he wasn’t entirely confident he wouldn’t hunt him down and kill him for sending him on a wild goose chase. He needed to choose his words wisely, and not give any solid answers so he couldn’t be held accountable later.

“Well I hear tell he moves around some, so the best I can do is give ya a few places.” He was still avoiding eye contact, knowing that a man of this caliber could easily see a bluff if he looked right into his face. “I hear he frequents France and Spain, sometimes goin’ to Russia for the borsch. In all honesty, I ain’t seen him for a good year or so, and the last time I heard anyone mention him was in regards to Nepal, if that means anything to ya.”

Hanzo crinkled his nose, a sour look coming to his face. “You say you know where he is and then proceed to give me a list of countries that are unrelated to another. What are you hiding, obfuscator?”

“You know, for someone who learned English as a second language, you sure have a good vocabulary. I didn’t really know what that first one meant, but the second one...” McCree took a glance up at him, and instantly regretted it. His eyes were like ice, cold and unmoving like the rest of him. He blinked away quickly, wringing his hands together to give him a better answer. “Well uh, I just said that I may know where he is, I didn’t mean that I absolutely knew where he was.” This sort of tactic wasn’t going to work though, and he knew it. “So uh, I guess my real answer would have to be in India someplace, or Nepal, somewhere around in there probably.”

Hanzo scoffed. “Someplace, around two separate countries, you _think_? Have you any idea how large India is on its own? Nepal is much smaller, but it would be much more helpful to have a city, any sort of landmark that would help pinpoint his location.”

McCree knew that. He knew vague things, like that he had been at a temple of some sort, that he was secluding himself from the world while he found himself. There was a lot of vague information he had gathered from people on his travels as to where people like him would go, not necessarily he himself. People who were so cybernetically enhanced that they were more robot than human, people who fell in love with Omnics, they would all sing praises of this monk from South Asia who was bridging the gap between humans and Omnics. He had never seen the guy himself, but was told that he was really something and that everyone should hear him speak at least once in their life. He wondered if this sort of information would be of any use to the other man, who was now angrier than he wanted him to be with him. Trust exercise: failed.

“I have somethin’ else, that might be helpful. I hear talk about this monk, and he’s from around those parts too. I’ve talked to a lot a people about him, just ‘cause they wanted to talk about him, and apparently he helps people who are like Genji find themselves and accept the robot part a themselves. I mean, he does other stuff too, with Omnics, but that ain’t relevant I guess.” His hands were starting to get sweaty from the hard glare he was receiving, so he moved them to his knees to dry them off. Even though he wasn’t trying to skirt the issue now, he still wasn’t confident looking Hanzo in the face.

“A monk? My brother would not go anywhere near a holy man. This is yet another excuse you are making to not tell me his location.” After listening to him fudge up the location bit, he wasn’t about to accept this nonsense as fact. He uncrossed his arms, wrapping his left hand in the other’s hair to turn his face toward him. “You know where he is, and you are protecting him. If your aim is to be my friend, you are going to have to be more forthcoming with your information.”

McCree wasn’t sure what else he could say. The monk card was his last one, and it apparently wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t dealt an ace, because it seemed like Hanzo was holding all four of them. There was one last thing he could try, if he would believe him. He swallowed hard before speaking again, “Genji ain’t the same as when you tried to kill him, ya know. He grew up a little, I guess, but mainly he’s just havin’ a lot of issues copin’ with his new robot body. If he went anywhere, I believe he did go to see that monk.”

Hanzo pulled his hand back out of his hair, and McCree flinched out of instinct. He pushed him back down on the bed and sat on top of him, his knees pinning down his arms and a hand holding his chin back, his face mere inches away from his own. He was steady, his eyes uncomfortably locking with McCree’s.

“I am going to investigate this avenue, and if you are leading me into a trap, or to nowhere, I will not hesitate to hunt you down and string you up. Am I clear, cowboy?”

McCree nodded his head as best he could, a terrified grin across his face. He was right about that at least, but he was sure that out of all the rumors, this one had to be the most true. He just had to make sure that if it wasn’t, he could find a nice corner to hide in for the rest of eternity. Hanzo got off of him after that, apparently satisfied with the look on the other’s face.

“I am leaving now, and it would be in your best interest to keep your distance.” He walked over to the corner by the door where McCree had set his bow and arrows, and after throwing them on his back, showed himself out.


	7. Chapter 6 Act 3 Scene 1

Nepal, that is what he had said. Over 27 hours and two layovers later, Hanzo stepped foot in Kathmandu, the largest city and also the capital of Nepal. Surely he could find some information regarding this monk here, and he was determined to find his location before nightfall. It was just after 10 AM when he landed, so that should not be a hard feat if this monk is as revered as he was led to believe. He spotted someone walking alone, immediately choosing his first target. He moved quickly but silently across the courtyard, grabbing the young person by their wrist and pulling them into a side alley. He turned, slamming his hands down on either side of them so they had no choice but to look in his face.

“Do you understand me? English? Français? Nihongo?” He unfortunately didn’t know a single word of Nepali, so he was reliant on someone being able to speak one of the three languages he did know. He hoped he was a good judge on this target, and that they could speak something he could understand.

“Yes, yes English,” They were visibly shaken by this sudden attack, that’s what it had to be right? What else would someone want? “Are you going to hurt me?”

“No harm will come to you so long as you help me. I am looking for a man, a monk who is rumored to reside around here. Can you help me?” He made no effort to relax, his default style being ruthless interrogation. Even if this person didn’t know anything, he could still use them to find his way around and get information from others who did not speak another language. As long as they agreed to help, he would have no reason to hurt them.

“A monk? I do not know much about monks, but I am sure someone at a temple would know...” Their expression dropped at that, knowing that they had not been of any help. They put a hand over their mouth, holding back tears. “I am most sorry I do not know more...”

Hanzo didn’t care that they didn’t know anything, and put a hand on their shoulder. “You are able to help me in other ways, if you are willing. I will need a guide while I am searching, someone who knows their way around and can help me question others. Would you be willing to help me with that?”

The other’s expression immediately lifted, and they looked at him with a smile. “Of course! I am able to do that, gladly!” The prospect of showing this man around was nothing to be excited over, but the fact that he was willing to spare them from harm definitely was. They put their hands together in front of themself and relaxed against the wall. “To find the monk, we should start by talking to those near the temples, since they would know the most about monks.”

Hanzo relaxed his stance at that and took his hands off the wall, pleased that he had gotten what he needed without showing any damaging force. He did not want to debilitate the first person he came to. He told himself that he wouldn’t have harmed them even if they had not helped, but he couldn’t stop himself from making the threat anyway. He was too used to interrogation, too used to force, and he was trying to get himself out of it. This was not a good start, but at least he did not have to find out what he would do if he was denied.

“That is most helpful, I thank you.” He took a step back to give them their space back, and they popped forward with a swing.

“Since we will be working together today, I will tell you my name. I am called Aakanksha, but you can call me Kan, so you do not mispronounce it.” They turned then toward the exit of the alley and started walking, turning over their shoulder to motion him to follow. He did, and was led back into the courtyard and then down a series of streets. When they came to another open spot, he identified it as a large temple, complete with large gold statues sitting high.

“Here is Swayambhunath, one of the greatest temples. I am sure one of the people here would have heard of the monk you are looking for. Did you have a name for him?” Hanzo gave a puzzled look, more at himself than at them. A name? The cowboy hadn’t told him a name, and he was so out of sorts that day he forgot that would be important. He sighed, crossing his arms and adopting a stern expression.

“I was not given a name, just that he is a monk who deals with robotics.”

Kan put a hand to their chin, trying to think of a way to narrow that criteria down further. “I guess we can just ask them about a robot monk guy, and maybe that will get us somewhere.”

Before Hanzo could object, Kan was going on ahead without him. He was worried something was lost in translation, since Kan was going to call him a robot. He really wished he had more information on this monk, but he was so hurried to get away from the situation that he neglected to get it. He followed behind Kan, briskly so as not to lose them among the other people at the temple who reeked of tourism.

When he caught up, Kan was speaking to someone, an older woman wearing traditional clothing. They were speaking Nepali, but Hanzo still stood close as if he could understand. He waited until they were finished, when Kan turned around to him with a smile.

“Some news, she has heard of a robot monk! She says that he just spoke to a crowd the other night, that his followers are still speaking of him and singing praises outside of the bazaar.” He was right, they did call the monk a robot. He supposed that this might actually be helpful though, since the cowboy mentioned something about him being popular with the Omnic crowd. He decided it wouldn’t hurt anything to go look, and to ask the crowd about his whereabouts.

“We should go and investigate that, then.” He turned toward the way they came, Kan coming up behind him. They figured that the faster they moved, the sooner this would be over, and the quicker they could get back to their life and away from this scary man.

They led him around for a while more, stopping every so often for something. They stopped to speak to a friend, to buy some produce, to pet a dog, and then to point at the sky and let Hanzo know it was due to rain today. He wondered how many circles they had walked in to get to this point, and how many more they would walk in to finally find this crowd of people celebrating a monk. He had stopped paying attention to his surroundings, instead just watching Kan’s back as they bounced along in front of him.

“Here we are!” Kan jumped to a stop, pointing a finger out in front of themself to a bunch of people with signs. “These guys are kind of weirdos, so be careful how you talk to them, especially about--“ They cut themself off as Hanzo rushed past them, singling out someone already. They took a couple steps back and turned to look at something on one of the stands, giving the impression that they had not come with him and that they were just here to shop. The look on Hanzo’s face looked the same as the one he used with them earlier. They were afraid of being caught in the crossfire, and didn’t want anyone to know they brought him here.

Hanzo grabbed his new target by the shirt and pulled him close to him. “Your sign is in English, you understand English? I am looking for the monk. Where can I find him?”

The man was taken aback, merely blinking at him to give his brain time to catch up. “The monk? You mean, Master Mondatta right?” His voice was unaffected, and his face didn’t show any fear. “He’s not around here anymore, I don’t know where he went.”

Hanzo tightened his fist in the man’s shirt and made a disagreeable face. “That is not helpful. Tell me all you know about the monk, there is someone connected to him that I am looking for.”

“Well no one knows a whole lot, he sort of just comes out and gives sermons sometimes, preaches about loving each other and accepting your Omnic neighbors...” The man relaxed, looking up at the sky and shaking his head with a small smile. “Man, everyone should love Omnics, cyborgs, robotics in general… They aren’t evil like other people want you to think, you know?”

“I have no interest in caring for that sort of thing. I am looking for this monk, and you will tell me where he resides, or I will be made to use force to extract that information.” Hanzo had nothing against this man and his beliefs, but he was not here to be preached at, and was going to get his information.

“Whoa man, Master Mondatta will only talk to people who have an open mind about robots and their like. If you’re going to try and hurt him, I can’t tell you where he’s at. He’s highly revered, and a lot of people want him dead, so I’m gonna have to stop you right there.” The man put his hands on top of Hanzo’s and kicked him back with a foot, causing the other to release his hold and stagger back. The man gestured to some others in the crowd, yelling something to them in another language, and they started over to assist the first man in showing Hanzo out of their space.

If these people would not give up their information freely, Hanzo would have to take it from them by force. He reached around to grab his bow, already measuring the distance between the men so he could hit them all with one scatter arrow. One of these men had to know where this monk lived, and if he had to defeat them to get the information, so be it. He readied his bow and nocked an arrow, taking a couple steps back for a better aim but then stepping right into someone else.

In an instant his shoulder was grabbed, another arm circling around him to pin his arms. This was ridiculous, he didn’t even start this altercation, and somehow someone had already snuck up behind him. In the next instant he was spun around, and before he knew it he was over someone’s shoulder and being carried off. He looked up to see Kan following fast behind the abductor, but they weren’t causing a ruckus to try and free him, just following. He saw the first attackers settle down, making obscene gestures at him before turning back to their group. The one carrying him was moving briskly, and Hanzo had to hold on to keep from falling off from the evasive maneuvers that were being made to avoid other people. He wondered who this was. Was it a friend of Kan’s that was trying to keep him from getting into trouble? He smelled nice, and it was familiar and comforting for reasons he couldn’t place. He looked over his shoulder to see that they were approaching an alley, and once inside they stopped and he was being put back on the ground.

“Dammit Han, I knew you couldn’t go anywhere without startin’ trouble. I’m glad I followed ya, who knows what kind a mess you’d have gotten yourself into had you fought with all them guys.” A familiar voice, and not in a way that sat well with Hanzo. He looked up, right into the face of the man he could’ve sworn he left back in Houston. Now he was less upset that he couldn’t get his information, and more upset that this man was continuing to be a thorn in his side even now.

“I did not ask for your help and I am perfectly capable of defending myself, you tenacious menace.” Hanzo returned his bow and arrow to his back before dusting himself off and straightening his clothes. “I did not invite you to come along for a reason, and this is a very good example of that reason. Perpetually in the way, causing undue trouble, making it hard for me to do what I have come for.”

“Now listen, you were over there makin’ it hard on yourself without my help. Goin’ over to a bunch a people who love Omnics and makin’ it sound like you wanna kill ‘em all, that’s what wasn’t helpin’ ya.” Hanzo scoffed at his words, averting his eyes after being presented with the truth.

“I would have still been able to get my information, but you have made sure that that would not happen. I hope you are proud of yourself for slowing my progress.”

McCree crossed his arms and huffed, a small smile coming to his lips. “Slowin’ your progress, huh? Well I actually did one for ya, and got you a present for when I found ya.” He pulled a paper folded in fourths out of his pocket, unfolding it before showing it to the other man. “There’s the guy you’re lookin’ for, and there’s a picture of where he lives right there behind him. Now all’s we need is someone who can tell us where this place is, and we’ll be set to go find him.”

Hanzo put a hand to his face, concerned that there wouldn’t be someone who could identify that place just from a single image. He then remembered Kan, who had followed them out of there. He looked past McCree to see Kan watching them, twirling a bit of hair around their fingers.

“Come here, tell me where this place is.” He took the paper from McCree and gestured that he move aside, pointing it toward Kan who took it from him.

“Ah this place, it looks like Shambali. There’s a monastery there, oh!” Kan was suddenly surprised at the fact that they had known something about this monk. “Yes, this is the Omnic monk that is based out of the Shambali monastery, oh I wish I had remembered that before for you.” They handed the paper back, certain that they could navigate these men there now.

McCree had just been standing there, giving Kan a look of confusion. “So who’s this pretty lady, is she your tour guide and translator?”

That question hit a nerve, and Kan was quick to correct him. “I am not a lady, any more than you are!” They stomped a foot and gestured to themself, anger painted on their face. “I’m not a he or a she, and you better remember that if you want to keep my help! I think I helped enough today so I can keep all my fingers, so I don’t mind leaving you two alone now if you’re going to be like that!”

McCree was slightly startled at the outburst, but after letting them finish, let out a small laugh and nodded his head. “That’s fine, I respect ya, I’m sorry for callin’ you a lady. You just got a lot a hair is all, and I made a mistake. We’ll be alright from here though, I assure ya.” Hanzo watched the exchange, not having anything to add but interested nonetheless. He folded the paper up again and stuck it in his pocket before gesturing to Kan.

“Let us go. We can drop the cowboy off at a train station, and he can find his way home from there.” He went to walk in the opposite direction, but Kan gestured back to him that they should go back the way they came so he altered his path to follow them.

“Hey come on, not even a thank you, kiss my ass or nothin’? I gave ya the last piece to your puzzle and you’re just gonna up and leave me? Anyone can see that ain’t very nice, pardner.” McCree followed close behind them, desperately trying to think of a way to stay on board for this expedition. He had managed to scrape together enough money to follow him here, and he wasn’t sure if he had the funds to take him back to the States. If anything, they could make a stop at a restaurant and they could talk over their plan there, seeing as it was after noon already. “Can’t we just get along, and ya let me help you out? Teamwork is easier than just goin’ it alone, you know!”

“I have a teammate already, I do not need you. I recommend that you get lost and return to whence you came.”

“Please? At least let me buy ya something to eat before you go all the way out there. Do ya even know where Shambali is? It ain’t in the same city as you’re in now, you’re gonna have to take a train anyway.”

“Actually, there is no road to that monastery. Most of it is walking, but there is no paved path that I know of. Trains and cars will only take you so far, but they cannot take you into the mountains.” Kan was sure of themself on this one, even though they had never been to this monastery.

“See, you really need someone to come with ya so you’re not walkin’ up a mountain alone. It’s just a suggestion, but I don’t think your tour guide is gonna walk ya all the way up to the monastery. They probably wanna stay in the city where it’s not so dangerous, you know?” He had a good point and he knew he did, but he also knew that the other man wouldn’t just accept his help to go through the mountains. He needed to have more utility than just being a companion, and he knew how to do that.

“I can carry the supplies you’re gonna wanna bring with ya, and help ya with the maps. I know a lot about livin’ off the land, so if ya get hungry I can tell ya which berries are dangerous and which ones aren’t. I’ll be real helpful, and I won’t bother ya none, I just wanna come with ya, if it’ll be alright.”

Hanzo stopped walking and looked back at him. “You want to just come, to carry my things and otherwise not be distracting or annoying?” That would be fine, and it would make him able to travel faster if they shared the weight of the supplies. Although, two people would require more supplies than him on his own, but since it sounded like he was offering to carry everything that didn’t seem to matter. As long as he wasn’t coming along to hassle him, he didn’t see anything wrong with having him there to be a pack mule.

“Yeah, I’ll just carry your things and be helpful in other ways, and I won’t bother ya unless there’s somethin’ important I need to tell ya. Whadda ya say?”

“That will be fine, but you are in charge of gathering the necessary supplies, and packing everything. If something is missing, it will be on your head, cowboy.”

McCree was willing to take that. Anything to stay close to him, so that just in case he didn’t find what he was looking for he could see an attack coming. Yeah, that’s all that was driving him, he assured himself. Better to go on a several-day expedition with a man capable of murdering him than living in fear for the rest of his life. That was a good enough reason, anyway.

“Alright, but before we go out to get the supplies, can we stop and get somethin’ to eat? All I got was some snacks during the layovers, and it’s makin’ me feel like I haven’t eaten in days.”

“Yeah, I know a great place to eat!” Kan threw their arms up in a wide gesture forward. “I hope you like spices, because nothing will taste right without them!”

Hanzo shrugged, he supposed he could go for some food since it was about that time of day. He double checked his pockets to make sure he hadn’t somehow lost his money, and then went to follow Kan out of the alley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably a good thing McCree showed up when he did. Didn't Hanzo say he didn't want to be like this? Good grief.


	8. Chapter 7 Act 3 Scene 2

The restaurant that Kan took them to was wonderful, and McCree made a mental note of it for any time he found himself in Nepal again. He had passed through before, and had formed an appetite for South Asian cuisine on that trip. That meant that anything the other two couldn’t stuff down, he was there to clean up, and he enjoyed that part the best.

After they were done there, the next stop was to gather supplies. Kan was there to show them to the right stores, and Hanzo came prepared with the money to buy them. McCree stuck to being the one to carry everything, including the random things that Kan had originally come to the market to buy before they had been recruited for other purposes.

The first stop was to buy bags, thick satchels to carry all the various items they decided they needed. One sack was designated to hold food, and they bought many things. Some fresh fruits for breakfast, bread, some granola and energy bars, a couple large cans of nuts, an entire deer’s worth of jerky, a large “family sized” bag of trail mix, and enough bottles of water to last a normal person two weeks. McCree put that pack on his back, watching Kan to make sure they didn’t try to sneak away with it after watching them shoplift several pieces of fruit from one of the stands.

The second bag was expressly for non-food supplies, such as the collection of tarps and stakes for tents, a few small knives, and exactly three lighters, per McCree’s request. That would leave one for his cigars, a second in case of injury, and a third to start a fire. Hanzo didn’t understand why he couldn’t just use the same one for all three, but obliged instead of making a fuss out of it. The only thing left to pick up was the maps, and Kan was going to draw them a line so they knew the best way. By the time they finished gathering supplies it was almost four, and all three of them sat in a wide area charting the trip.

“You can take the bus out to here, but it won’t want to drop you off out in the middle like that. Make sure to tell whoever is driving that you’re going into the mountains, and they’ll understand!” Kan pointed a long finger at a yellow line on the map, which was a large road. They moved their finger in the south-east direction following the line, stopping where it broke into a fork. “The buses that go out of here don’t go up to the mountain village anymore since it got dangerous to travel there during the Crisis, so anything north of the fork doesn’t have transportation to it.”

McCree nodded in understanding, tracing the line by their finger with a pink highlighter he had picked up while they were out. It seemed straightforward enough, just follow the yellow brick road per-say. He just wanted to make sure there wasn’t any confusion later though, hence the highlighter. He looked over to Hanzo when he finished to make sure he was following along, only to see him staring angrily at the map, arms crossed. He wondered if he was ever happy, or if he was perpetually angry about something. _Maybe it’s just a bad case of resting bitch face_ he thought, laughing a little to himself for thinking something like that.

Hanzo was thinking as Kan traced lines on the map with their finger, but not about the maps or the expedition. His thoughts were consumed with what-if’s. What if Genji really had changed? What if he couldn’t bring himself to carry through with his plan if he was really there? What if he wasn’t there, and he came all this way just to meet another dead end? He thought of all these things and more, posing solutions and alternatives one after the other, overthinking everything just in case. He was so deep in thought that he almost missed Kan pulling out a second map, one that was localized to the mountain village and surrounding areas. He took a look at it while Kan was explaining how this one fit into the last one, and then went back into his head again.

“This one is pretty self-explanatory otherwise, once you know what direction you’re coming into it on.” They pointed their finger to a clump of squares and rectangles next. “Here’s the village, but I don’t know of anyone who’s been there since the Crisis. Most of the people who lived there came into the city for refuge when the war caused parts of the mountain to fall, so I’m not sure how much of the town is still there.”

“So if the mountain fell, wouldn’t that mean the monastery might not be there either?” Even though Kan seemed pretty sure of themself in saying that this was the right place, McCree was still worried that they would get up there and find this place in ruins. He guessed that the picture from the poster could have been from before the Crisis, but it could as easily be from after and he was worrying for nothing.

“Well, Mondatta, the guy you are looking for, he did not get big until after the Crisis. So if he is posing in front of that monastery, it must still be in good condition and not crushed to pieces by falling rocks. But like I said, I cannot say for sure since no one goes up there anymore.”

McCree took another look over at Hanzo, wondering if he had heard that there was no guarantee that this place was even still there. He still had the same look on his face, staring at the same place, still sitting in the same position. _I guess he really isn’t paying any attention_ , he thought, half tempted to nudge him and bring him back to reality. He was glad he let him come along, at least one of them would know what was going on with the maps.

Contrary to what McCree thought, Hanzo was listening to every word. Some words less than others, but he heard the ones about the destruction of the village and the subsequent question from McCree. He would admit that he wasn’t paying attention to the explanations of the maps, but he was an expert in graphicacy from his travels. He was doubtful that he would get lost, and the directions seemed easy enough. Even with the rock debris and avalanches that must have happened up there, he was willing to put money on the fact that there would still be visible roads and signs they could follow. He wasn’t worried, and he knew somewhere within himself that that monastery was still standing unharmed.

McCree took out the highlighter again, tracing a path through the village and out the other end. Kan then pointed to another place, a symbol below some writing in Nepali. They told him what the writing said, and that that’s the monastery in which they were aiming for. McCree circled it, drawing a line from the village to the monastery. He leaned back against the wall then, tilting his hat up to wipe his forehead before pulling out a cigar and lighting it.

“So that’s it then? How long do you think it’ll take to get there? Round abouts?” He puffed on his cigar a bit, stretching his legs out to cross them in front of himself.

“Well I do not really know that either, actually. I can tell you how long it takes to get to the next town on the bus route, but you are only going halfway before you start walking, so that would not be a good estimate. It is about six and a half hours if you take the bus to the fork, and it used to be another two to the next town up in the mountains, but you will be walking there, so it is hard to tell how long the walking part would take.”

“How far is it from the bus stop to the monastery?” Hanzo finally looked like he was paying attention, and seemed like he was offering to help on this one. He knew if he was told how many kilometers it was, he would be able to estimate how long it would take to walk there.

“Uh, probably close to 100 kilometers? A little more to walk up the mountain to the monastery, I would think.” Kan traced the roads again, measuring the kilometers with their finger based on the scale provided. Their finger was about 25 kilometers long by the scale, so they laid it down, using their other pointer as a placeholder. “Yeah, probably a little over 100 kilometers.”

Hanzo looked up to the sky as he thought about it. Math was one of his favorite subjects, so it wouldn’t be hard to simply multiply the factors he knew of. He knew that by walking at a faster pace than a casual walk, walking one kilometer would only take about seven minutes, so by that logic, it would take just over 12 hours to get there, if they didn’t stop. Unfortunately, he didn’t think it would be possible to hike up a mountain for 12 hours straight, so he decided to himself that it would be best to leave earlier in the day tomorrow and walk only until nightfall after taking the bus, when they could rest and finish the journey the next day. It would take longer that way, but he was in no hurry considering the anxiety he felt at the realization that he may see his brother again.

He wanted to be angry, but he had done that already when Genji came to harass him a year prior. Since then he had tried to find his own path, his clan having been exterminated by the one they once called part of their family. He had done a lot of thinking since then, understanding Genji’s side, trying to disconnect himself from his past. He was admittedly not doing well at separating the past from the present, and his mental health still suffered for it. His upbringing had left permanent scars, and there was still a lingering animosity toward everyone involved despite them all being long dead by this point. He snapped himself out of his thoughts again, remembering that he had been in the middle of something. He could feel the other two watching him, waiting for him to give them an answer.

“It should take about 12 hours walking, but I would not ask someone to walk 12 hours straight with me without taking a rest. I propose we catch an early bus, and after the six-and-a-half-hour bus ride we walk until nightfall. This is when we will make a camp for the night, and at daybreak, we will walk again. That should prove to be plenty of rest, and we should reach the monastery at a reasonable time while it is still daylight.” This plan would have respect for all parties, and hopefully he wouldn’t have to listen to McCree complaining about the heat, or his feet, or whatever people like him complained about.

“Well if you don’t mind walkin’ it straight, I sure don’t. We get there a little faster by not breakin’ it up, and camp outside the temple a mile or so away so we ain’t on their back door, and just walk in first thing in the morning that way.” McCree appreciated the suggestion, but he really had no issue walking a lot. He figured they would stop to eat a few times, take a small 15-minute break or something, and that was enough for him. Otherwise it would just feel like they had been going forever, walking some and then taking a full rest before walking a lot more. He would much rather just walk it straight through, telling time by the position of the sun like he always does. “So I say we take an overnight bus tonight, and take advantage of the movin’ shelter to get some rest, and start walkin’ when we get to the drop off.”

“I was just trying to spare you, but if you are sure you want to walk the whole day I will not argue with you. I do not want to hear any complaints when you realize you have made a mistake though, cowboy.” He looked back up to the sky then, having sworn he felt a drop of rain. The sky had gotten darker, and the clouds were moving faster than they had been the rest of the day. A storm was definitely rolling in.

“Looks like it’s about to open up, doesn’t it?” Kan smiled at the sky, putting their hands on their knees. They loved the rain, how it fell, the sound it made when it hit the buildings, and mostly, the lightning. If they were allowed, they would sit outside in the rain and watch the light show for hours, but their Omnic guardian had always insisted when they were younger that they watch from inside. That wasn’t as fun, but it was a lot safer.

“If it’s gonna do that, we better move inside.” McCree leaned back up off the wall, pulling his knees up so he could reach the maps. “I’ll keep these in the spare satchel, don’t want them gettin’ wet.” He folded them back up the way they came and flattened them down, stacking them together before putting them away. If they were going back inside he supposed he would have to put out his cigar, but he didn’t agree with that so he puffed it hard until there was barely any left. He tossed it down after that, stepping on it to make sure it was out even though he was sure the rain would take care of it if he didn’t.

“It’ll probably rain for the rest of the night the way that cloud looks, so I’ll take you over to the bus port and you won’t have to go out again looking for it!” Kan jumped to their feet and dusted off their behind from where they had been sitting. “Follow me!” They took a couple steps backwards, turning at the end and starting to skip away. The other two hurried to their feet, gathering their bags of supplies before rushing to catch up to them, who was already far ahead.


	9. Chapter 8 Act 3 Scene 3

They made it to the station right as the rain started coming down, and it came down hard. McCree had dismissed Kan once they helped them buy bus tickets to the right place and get situated, and thanked them for all their help to get them this far. It was only about five-thirty when they arrived, and the next bus didn’t leave until seven-fifteen. Hanzo found a clear bench, and sat down on it turning sideways to lean against the post and put his legs out. McCree dumped the bags on the floor in front of the bench, taking a seat on the floor on the adjacent side of the post to lean up against it himself.

“T’was real lucky we made it here ‘fore it started really rainin’, ain’t it?” He took his hat off and set it on his knee, brushing his hair back off his face to look at Hanzo. “Sorta like the day we met, it was really pourin’ that night too.” No response from the other man, which was expected. “Not much for conversation, are ya? I never really have anyone to just sit an’ talk to, but I found if you can talk to someone ya should. Eases your mind a little, if somethin’s eatin’ at ya. Sometimes it helps to just talk to be talkin’, even if yain’t sayin’ nothin’.” More silence. “So what do you expect to do when you find your brother? I won’t judge no matter what ya say, so be honest.”

“I am not sure what I am going to do.” He had still not decided which route he would take, if he would murder him for the assassination of the whole clan, or listen to him and decide for himself if this path he had found himself on was truly the most righteous. If redemption was possible, he would explore that avenue, but he was unsure if someone like him was even capable of being redeemed. “I initially wanted to kill him, but I am unsure if I will be able to do that.”

“You still want to kill him over what happened way back when?” That sure was some grudge he was holding if so, and not a little out of date. “Don’t ya think that’s a little unreasonable?”

“He gives me new reasons to kill him every time I see him.” This wasn’t a lie, but he was mainly thinking of the time he intruded on his incense offering to demean him before showing off and then vanishing. That was disgraceful, dishonorable, unwarranted in every fashion. He had come to gloat on his ability to destroy his entire family, and then refused to finish the job, like some coward. Hanzo could not forgive him for that, but if they were able to talk peacefully this time with no cocky shows, he might change his mind about striking him down a second time.

“You say that like you’ve seen him a lot since the first time you almost killed him. Or is this just the cultivation of all those times he made ya mad growing up but ya couldn’t do nothin’ about it?” He laughed a little, imagining Hanzo as a kid. He figured when he was younger he wasn’t so cold and cruel, and that made the picture even better.

“No, he was my best friend when we were children. He was very kind and did nothing to wrong anyone. It was when he got older that he became a nuisance, but we were still close.” He didn’t necessarily want to tell this man everything about his life, but he couldn’t help himself when he asked about Genji and their childhood. Those were the worst years of his life, but Genji had always been there to help him recover and give him hope for the future. “I never minded Genji’s antics, he was always very happy chasing after women and having them chase him. The elders of the family are the ones who took issue with it, and demanded that I be the one to clean him up. If it had been my choice, I would have let him continue with his life as he was with no argument.”

“But it wasn’t your choice. Is that why ya had to try and kill him the first time? Because they told ya to?” McCree was interested in this, he didn’t know that a simple question would open a can of worms like this. He had heard Genji’s side a few times, but it changed in some places depending on what sort of mood he was in though, so it was hard to tell what he really saw as the truth. He wanted to hear this side, and he wasn’t about to pass on the opportunity.

“I was not going to kill him. The orders were to straighten him out, not take his life. I cannot remember what it was he even said to make me so angry with him, now. My memory from that night is sharp until a point, where I cannot remember anything but being very unstable and angry.” He looked up to the ceiling and breathed, listening to the sound of the rain on the tin roof. He honestly didn’t know what happened that night, everything was a blur at this point. The more he thought about it and tried to remember details, the worse his mind felt, like if he went back to that memory too many times for too long he would snap again and be overcome with that same anger as he felt that night. That was a scary thought, and he feared that happening more than anything. He just wished he knew what had caused it that night, so he could try to avoid that the next time he was able to speak to his brother.

McCree watched him, admiring the way his bang hung beside his face, how his beard was perfectly trimmed and clean. He watched him close his eyes and breathe, and couldn’t stop himself from enjoying the way the orange lights lit up his face. He wasn’t going to look this way, so McCree told himself it was alright to stare for a minute. His face looked soft, like it had the other night when he was sleeping. McCree wanted desperately to throw his arms around him and tell him that the past is over and that it won’t happen again, he knew it. There were a couple problems with that though. First, Hanzo would break his arm if he tried to hug him, and second, he didn’t actually know it wasn’t going to happen again. So instead of physical contact, he decided he would just sit here and stare at him. With a view like this, it was getting harder for him to deny that he was just in this for self-preservation.

“If you keep staring at me so fervently, you may make a hole right through me.” Hanzo hadn’t opened his eyes, but he could feel his eyes on him nonetheless. He opened his eyes slightly to look back at him, only to see the other man making an expression of gentle, unfettered warmth. He quickly averted his eyes, not used to seeing someone look at him like that. “That means to stop staring, you dog.”

It was too late to stop when McCree caught himself smiling, and after he realized, he couldn’t make himself stop if he wanted to. He didn’t think he’d ever seen someone so sad look so beautiful, and he wished he had a camera. That would be weird, but it might earn him a roughing up if he was lucky. His thoughts immediately darted back to the other night, of Hanzo on top of him threatening his life, and he made a little gasp which encouraged him to look away. Hanzo looked back to him then, not sure whether to be angry or concerned.

“Did you surprise yourself with your own idiocy?” He straightened himself up on the post and crossed his legs in the opposite direction.

McCree bit his lip and smiled, looking back over to him. “Nah, just got too caught up in thinkin’ about how good you looked in that light and had to take a breather, is all.”

“If you are not careful with your advances, I will not wait until I am at the end of this dead end to take your life.” _God, is he serious? What kind of man thinks of something like that and thinks it is appropriate to say aloud?_ Hanzo changed his mind about being concerned, deciding that being angry was much easier anyway. _Got caught up in how good I looked in the light, yeah right._ He couldn’t see himself looking good in general, let alone in any sort of light. Maybe if he had said it to him in the pitch black, now that would be more believable. This was just another failed attempt to make a pass at him, and he was not that easy. He would not let himself fall victim to this cowboy Casanova, not today, not ever.

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad was it? I actually thought about that one, too. Was sort of wishin’ I had a camera, so I could remember that forever.” He smirked to himself, the air suddenly getting thick as he felt Hanzo’s demeanor change. _Guess he really doesn’t like bein’ hit on, even if it ain’t meant that way._ He pulled another cigar out and cut it off with his teeth, spitting that part back to the ground while remembering why he doesn’t do that trick anymore. He lit his cigar and made himself more comfortable against the post before turning his face back to the other man.

“Do you get mad at everyone who says they like your face, or is it just because I’m me? I won’t take no offense if it’s just me, I promise.”

“I cannot even remember a time in which someone has said anything like that to me. So, I will say it is just you.”

“Wait, you’re tellin’ me that _no one_ has ever said _anything_ nice to ya before? Not one single time? Well jeeze, if I had known that I’d have been sayin’ a lot more nice things to ya before just now.” He turned to lean his side on the post, so he could face the other man easier. “Like, you’re real smart, and it ain’t hard to tell that you’ve been workin’ real hard to be real smart at all kinds a things.”

Hanzo grit his teeth and forcefully avoided eye contact. Didn’t he tell him before that he wasn’t going to bother him? It would help if he could figure out his angle, but he just seemed to like complimenting him without getting anything in return. He had to want something else, no one just wanted to be nice to him, they _always_ wanted something.

“Also, you’re real strong. You could totally kick my ass no problem, and I’d be half tempted to thank ya. Not sure why ya haven’t done it already the way ya react to me existin’.” McCree looked up at him with a cocky smile, “Maybe it’s ‘cause you know it wouldn’t have the desired effect, or is there another reason you don’t wanna?” This might be a dangerous path to take, but he was having too much fun watching the look on the other man’s face to change the topic. Hanzo had turned his face almost entirely away from him, so he would lean forward to try and see him. He couldn’t tell if he was angry at him or just embarrassed, but he couldn’t help thinking he was cute either way.

“I would love to get rid of you, but as you Americans say, ‘a bad penny always turns up again...’” He wasn’t going to look at that dastard. This was the sort of man who could find a way to come back from Hell, someone that no matter how many times you disposed of him would reappear at the worst time. Was that his angle though? For him to be angry enough to actually harm him? What sort of person would actively advocate for his own injury? That’s a ridiculous notion. He was just testing him, his limits, seeing how far he could go before something bad happened. Perhaps this was all part of his plan that was started at the bar, and he had been building up to being so forward. _Hajime wa shojo no gotoku, owari wa datto no gotoshi_ , as it is said. First coy like a virgin, then quick as a hare so the enemy cannot oppose you. Despicable.

“I don’t know Han, I think I’ve been a pretty lucky penny for ya this whole time. I was there for ya when you passed out, I gave ya the info you were lookin’ for, I’m even helpin’ you get up this mountain after figurin’ out where you needed to be goin’ almost on my own with that paper. Kinda makes me feel bad that ya consider me unlucky.” He checked the time on the clock above the ticket booth. The bus should be here any minute now. It really hadn’t felt like they had been talking that long, but time flies when you’re being an irritant. He got up and stretched, yawning a little. He then went to the other end of the bench and put a foot up on it to lean on, tilting his head to see the other’s face better. “Sorry if I embarrassed ya, sometimes I just get carried away tellin’ people stuff they need ta hear. Now ya can’t say no one’s never said a nice thing to ya.”

“Tsutsushinse moushiagemasu, katabare boke.” _I would like to respectfully request that you drop dead, shit for brains._ The phrase was accompanied with a glare of ice. “Do you know enough of my language to understand that, dumbass?” Hanzo didn’t care about nice things being said to him, and he didn’t need this charity work from some devil. There were so many ways to tell this man off, and he was more than happy to speak exclusively in insults for the rest of the expedition if need be.

“That one’s a little harder than that last one you said. But the way you said it, it couldn’t have been very nice, so I’m not sure I wanna know what it was.” McCree looked over just as the bus pulled up, watching it roll to a stop with a loud creak. He pointed a thumb toward it, “Looks like the camper’s here.”

The bus was an old school bus, repainted to show that it was now a travel bus. The paint was a faded blue with a wide grey stripe down the side, with a silhouette of an animal on the front fender. It was covered in spots of rust, with the smell of exhaust clinging to it.

Hanzo huffed as he quickly slid off the bench, grabbing a bag as he passed and heading toward the bus. He moved quickly even though there was no one else taking the bus this late, simply to put some distance between him and McCree. McCree grabbed the last two bags and followed slower, seeing no need to rush. Once onboard he spoke to the driver about their stop, and arranged with her to have the stop bell rung for them since they planned to sleep. She was accepting, so he tossed the bags in the wheelchair area and joined Hanzo in the back.


	10. Chapter 9 Act 4 Scene 1

Six-and-a-half hours, one old bus with a slight musk, and an endless road lined with miles of nothing on both sides. McCree was used to this sort of thing, but usually he wasn’t lucky enough to get a seat on the inside. The only time he really minded was when it was raining, and it sure as hell was coming down here. They had been riding for about half an hour, and neither of them had said a word. McCree had planned to try and sleep, but something was preventing him from keeping his eyes closed for too long and he couldn’t place it. He had resigned himself to just watching Hanzo, who had taken an odd position to sleep in. He was slouched almost entirely down in his seat, his feet crossed over the seat in front of him and his arms folded over his chest. McCree tried to comprehend, figuring that if he tried to sit like that himself he would feel massively uncomfortable and didn’t understand how Hanzo wasn’t going to be in pain from it. The seats weren’t very far apart, and McCree couldn’t put his legs together without them being pushed against the back of the seat in front of him. After fighting with that reality for the first ten minutes of the trip, he had turned sideways to lay against the window so he wouldn’t cramp his legs. He chalked the difference between them up to their difference in heights, since Hanzo was much shorter than him and more capable of fitting into these smaller spaces comfortably.

The way he was sitting, he could watch the rain run down the window on the other side, listening to it beat against the one behind his head. It was relaxing, and he wished it was enough to make him fall asleep. His mind had other plans, so he just sat there, awake, watching the breathing of the other man. The bus driver had the radio turned on, and it was playing loud enough that he could faintly hear it. It wasn’t like anything he had heard before, and it was in a language he didn’t know. He assumed it was Nepali, but he couldn’t tell from how soft it was. He tilted his head back against the window and closed his eyes.

His thoughts were everywhere, and after getting rid of one another would come to the front. The issue was that none of them were about anything important, and he was embarrassed at what they all pertained to. A good shot of whiskey would shut that noise right up, and put him to sleep as well. He wished he had picked some up in town before this, and he was regretting letting his whole bottle get downed a few nights ago. He sighed and picked his head back up, noticing suddenly the item lying next to Hanzo. He had remembered taking it off his person that night at the bar, since he didn’t think he needed to be sleeping with something like that. It had felt like it had liquid in it, and it made him wonder if he carried water on him at all times like that. He stared at it a long time, thinking about how if it did have water in it, he didn’t see him fill it when they were in town getting water. Perhaps it was something else. _What if it’s filled with alcohol?_ He smiled to himself. That would be just like this guy, to carry alcohol on his person no matter where he went.

McCree stared at it for the next few minutes. If it did have alcohol in it, he could drink just a little and be able to sleep. He weighed the pros and cons, and decided there weren’t any cons if Hanzo didn’t know he drank any. That was enough for him, and so he moved as quietly as he could towards it. He picked it up and could feel the liquid move inside it. He felt like a child who was stealing cookies right out of the oven without even knowing for sure that what he was stealing was a cookie, but that didn’t matter. He opened the top and smelled it; the distinct smell of alcohol was there. Perfect. He tipped it back, and instantly more came out than anticipated and he choked loudly.

“What do you think you are doing?”

McCree looked up, right at Hanzo who had woken up from the noise. His face wasn’t angry, but more akin to confusion. McCree lowered the cask and set it back on the seat, slowly putting the cap back in. He knew he had made a mess of himself, and could feel the alcohol in his nose and throat. He stood up and wiped his face with his serape.

“Sorry ta wake ya up.” He didn’t want to look at him. It was embarrassing enough that he got caught stealing like that, but the fact that he had got it all over himself made it ten times more embarrassing than it had to be. “I was just tryin’ to get ta sleep, is all.”

“How exactly will spilling my sake all over yourself help you sleep, gunslinger?” No matter how badly he wanted to be upset over the situation, the fact that this man spilled sake all over himself was far too hilarious. He stifled a laugh, and picked up the cask himself. “Did you forget how to drink when you forgot how to ask permission to touch other’s belongings?”

“Well the goal was for ya not to wake up, since you were sleepin’ pretty nice there. And uh, that thing is real hard to drink out of, so next time I think I’ll get me some kind a glass to put it in so I don’t spill it everywhere again.” He smiled back, trying to cover for his embarrassment.

“It is not hard to drink from if you are skilled.” Hanzo took the stop out and lifted the cask up, taking a drink from it with ease. He put it back down and gave McCree an eye. “See? It is easy.” He ended with a smirk, letting the other know that he was not free from embarrassment. “You will have plenty of time to practice the art while you are busy being useless on this trip.”

“Ah so that’s something you gotta be useless to master, I get it now.” He said it with a little more edge than he had meant, and was rewarded with a sharp glare. He gave a grin back, one full of innocence to counter the look of hatred he was getting. “No harm intended, just tryin’ ta keep up with ya is all.”

Hanzo sighed and returned to the position he had been in before the ruckus. “You had your drink, now go to bed or I will put you to sleep myself.” Another threat.

“Have you ever gone a whole conversation without threatenin’ someone?” McCree was genuinely curious on this one. He sat back down on his seat as he spoke, clasping his hands in front. “I mean, do you just threaten me ‘cause ya think I’m after somethin’ or do ya threaten everyone ya talk to?”

Hanzo wasn’t sure how to answer that. Threatening people was a habit at this point, something he had picked up to defend himself against the people who made threats at him. He didn’t make note of every time he threatened someone, so he really didn’t know if he threatened everyone, or how many people he had threatened that he had no intention of harming. He chewed on his cheek a bit, trying to remember a time when he was not defensive of everything and would be less likely to threaten someone. He adopted a harsh face when he realized he couldn’t remember a time like that, and exhaled sharply.

“I do not know. Threatening people makes me feel as if I am powerful, and they cannot hurt me if it is clear that I would hurt them first. I most likely threaten everyone without realizing it.”

“That ain’t very nice. You know ya get a lot more bees with honey, right?”

“What is that supposed to mean? I am not trying to collect bees.” He had never heard that one before, and he couldn’t decipher its meaning without more context.

“It’s just a sayin’, that ya get more bees with honey. It’s a little backwards, since bees make honey, but it means that ya get more stuff in your favor if you’re sweet to people. The point is, is that people won’t wanna help ya if you just threaten ‘em, that ya need to take a softer approach and you’ll get more stuff done. I don’t mind ya bein’ hard on me, I’m a big boy and you can’t hurt a self-esteem that don’t exist, but if you’re plannin’ ta get along with someone ya really need to stop makin’ it sound like you wanna kill ‘em.”

Duly noted. He couldn’t remember the last time he cared enough about someone to get along with them, and in his business, it wasn’t necessary. Why does this man care so much about that sort of thing anyway? Ridiculous. What does it matter to this cowboy if he ever has a friend? That isn’t necessary. Friends, aren’t necessary.

“Thank you, but I have been doing just fine this way.”

“Well I’d be willin’ ta argue that, actually.” McCree tilted his hat back and smirked. “You seem like ya need someone who ain’t gonna bring you down, someone you can trust with all that crap you’re holdin’ all by yourself up in that head a yours. Drive a man crazy talkin’ to himself all day an’ night.”

Hanzo scoffed at the idea that there would be a person trustworthy enough to tell his secrets to. He had trusted once, and that only ended in pain and sorrow. He would not open himself just to be hurt again, and nothing this man could say would change that fact. Friends were for people who knew how to laugh, people who could cry and feel happiness so they could return it to others. He wasn’t the sort of person who deserved a friend, like he could even keep one if he tried.

“It would take me altering my entire personality for someone to care anything about the things that go through my head. Having someone to speak to only for them to double cross me is not worth the effort to become someone who they would like in the first place.” His words were full of venom, and he hoped the other man would let this rest. His whole life had been made of people avoiding him because of his approach to things, choosing instead to have an enjoyable time with his brother. It was fine, they wouldn’t have had near as much fun listening to him talk about the things he was into. “Morbid interests,” as one woman said. “Is there something wrong with you? Do you not know anything except for how to deprive a man from his life and limbs?” He thought that maybe that was true.

“Hey, I understand that. I’m not too good at that attitude though, so I find myself tryin’ ta make people like me no matter where I go. I like to be personable, but sometimes I just wanna get away from people and be alone for a while. But when it comes ta talkin’ about important stuff, I wouldn’t recommend just tryin’ to trust the first person ya come to, anyways. More like, find someone who appreciates ya for who you are, and test ‘em out real good to make sure they ain’t gonna turn on ya. Just be yourself ta the highest extent, and if that don’t scare ‘em off, you might be in business. Like, what about your hobbies? What do ya do ta relax and have fun?”

“Fun? I do not have fun.” If there was something he could do to have fun, he wasn’t aware of it. Hobbies on the other hand, he could think of plenty of those. “I just collect things, to add to the family collection. Katana, Wakizashi, rare blades and decorative knives.”

“Really? I bet you have a pretty nice collection then if that’s what you’ve been doin’ your whole life. I’m more of a pistol guy myself, but I’d like ta see your collection sometime. I’ll admit I don’t know a whole lot about that sort a stuff though, so if ya wanna explain the pieces I’d listen. You do anything for yourself though? Like, writin’ a journal or somethin’ artistic, or go explorin’ places or somethin’?”

“I...” He hadn’t done anything like that in a long time. When he was younger he had kept a journal, but after he almost killed Genji he had burned it. He would read when he wasn’t traveling, having collected books that looked interesting when he would visit someplace new, but recently he had been on a mission and had no time for that. Nothing was enjoyable anymore. He had lost interest in most everything he used to care about, including food, games, and even people. He was suddenly overcome with a strong feeling of emptiness, and stared at his hands with a troubled look.

“We really need ta find ya something ta do. Sounds like that’s your real problem, that ya don’t have anything ta keep yourself occupied. If ya had somethin’ you liked, you could talk to people about that instead a just being alone and threatenin’ the people you do talk to. How’s that sound?”

“Are you going to find a way to make me care about things then? There are many things I would enjoy more if I could make myself care for them again.” This was beginning to sound like therapy, and he wasn’t sure he liked that. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to feel better, it just seemed hopeless and tiring to try. Nothing ever went well, nothing ever helped, and McCree would have to find that out for himself he guessed. Everything was pointless.

“I can try. I have a hard time with that one myself though, and there’s only a couple things I’ve found to help it. If you’d be open to tryin’ some stuff, I’m sure I can get ya feeling a little better.” McCree was used to that feeling, the feeling that nothing was enough to keep him interested anymore. It wasn’t a hard diagnosis, and he had been dealing with it since he was a teenager. Lack of interest was a good indicator of depression, and he didn’t have to think twice before knowing that the other man had it too. He was lucky and was diagnosed when he was younger, which allowed him access to medications and other assistance that improved his life, and he was still thankful for having that. Unfortunately, he was sure that what worked for him most likely wouldn’t work for Hanzo, since he had actually been diagnosed bipolar and not with just depression. Maybe after they had reached the end of this trip he would be able to take him someplace to get him some help, which would help get him in a better mental state.

“I do not need to try things to know they will not help. No one and nothing can help me. Everyone turns their back to me when I have a hard time speaking to them.” He wished that last part could be true right now. What happened to using the bus ride as a time to sleep? Whatever the other man thought he was doing, it wasn’t necessary and he should just go to sleep.

“Well, I ain’t gonna turn away from ya for a reason like that. I don’t have any problem bein’ here ta support and help ya get back into things. Y’know, things besides unhealthy drinkin’ habits.”

“My drinking habits were fine until you came along. Go to bed, cowboy. You will regret not sleeping when the bus stops and I leave you on it. You are doing enough to support me already, there is no need for you to keep us both up asserting yourself.” Hanzo closed his eyes and leaned his head back, showing that he was ready to be left alone again.

“Right, that’s a good point. I’ll sleep now, and be ready for the walk in the mornin’.” McCree moved back in his seat, returning to the position against the window that he had tried before. The rain was still coming down, and the radio was still playing softly from the front. This time the calming sounds were enough, and with the added effects of the alcohol, he was asleep before he knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of y'all have ever gotten alcohol up your nose, you know about how McCree feels here. Not fun for him but god is it funny to think about.


	11. Chapter 10 Act 5 Scene 1

The rain had all but stopped as the bus pulled up to the station at the fork, and the driver leaned to the side to give the bell a good ring. McCree was already standing, piling himself up with the bags and making his way out before Hanzo had finished shaking himself awake. A quick “Thank you” to the driver later, and they both stood on the barely graveled area that had not been used in years. The station was in extreme disrepair; the ticket kiosk was empty, the cords frayed, and the benches so frail in appearance that neither man trusted them to hold anything. They both stood there and watched the bus leave, watching as it turned to the right to go the rest of the way to the next city. Looking to where they were to head, it was abundantly clear that the only way to go was up.

After reorganizing the bags for more efficient carrying, both men started off toward the mountains. Neither had the time, but they could tell it was still quite a way before dawn. The clouds had cleared enough to reveal the moon, and she shone a bright gibbous in the sky, providing enough light to follow the old decrepit mountain road. The air was cool and damp from the rain, which was very welcomed after they had walked for nearly an hour. The road was steep, and it was not uncommon for them to have to walk around boulders and avoid potholes in the pavement, which only served to exhaust them quicker.

“I wish that sun would rise a little quicker so I’d know what time it was.” McCree had pulled out a map to reorient himself so he would know what direction to expect the sun from. After putting it away he looked out to what had to be the east, where there was still no sign of the great ball of fire. “I have no idea how long we’ve been walkin’, but I think I’d like ta stop and eat somethin’ if that’s alright with you.”

“Aa.” Hanzo’s breathing was heavy, and the smirk he gave as a response clearly indicated that he had been waiting for the other man to ask for a break. He unloaded the bag from his back and immediately dropped onto the nearest rock, wiping the sweat from his brow before drying his hands on his pants. He watched as McCree pulled out a random fruit from the food bag, observing the delicate way that he peeled it. He stared at him as he ate it, entranced by this natural phenomenon happening before him. It wasn’t until the other man offered him a piece that he even realized how intensely he had been staring, pointedly declining the offer and retrieving his own piece of fruit to keep himself from getting lost again. He could not have this cowboy thinking that he was envying the fruit when there was plenty more in the bag.

“So how long have ya been looking for him? Your brother, I mean.” McCree had finished the fruit he started with and had moved on to another one, something more related to a mango. He took out a pocket knife and started cutting it into chunks, eating them one at a time.

“Not very long, relatively. I began trying to track him after the night he visited me, but became so overcome with frustration that I took a break from that. The only reason I began to look for him again was that I felt I was of sound enough mind to speak to him.” Hanzo had fished out a pear, which was a different shape than what he was used to, but bit into it anyway. It was the first thing he had eaten since Kan had taken them to the restaurant, and after the short hike it tasted even better than expected.

“Were ya worried before that somethin’ real bad would happen if ya tried ta talk to him before? I know how he is, well, used ta be anyway. He can be hard ta work with when he wants to be.”

“I was afraid I would lose myself again. I do things I am not proud of when that happens, so I like to avoid stressful situations when I feel like it could happen.”

“Like, you mean you just get real angry? I think I’ve only been that kind a angry once or twice in my whole life, ta just do something I’d really regret.” He finished up his mango and dug his hand in the supply bag for a bottle of water. He took a big drink from it before returning it to the bag.

Hanzo thought a moment before replying, as he wasn’t sure what happened with his mind could be fully attributed to simple anger. It was a strange thing, with some days worse than others. Those days he felt he would slip into that state from barely any provocation, if any at all. When that happened, he almost felt like an entirely different person, like he was watching this other person from outside, but after it was over he couldn’t remember a single thing he had done.

“I do not think the anger that you are familiar with is related to what I experience.”

McCree took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, regretting it instantly and moving to wipe his hand on his knee. “Oh yeah? I guess I don’t really understand what you go through then. I’m sorry for makin’ assumptions.” He set his hat on a rock next to him and pulled his serape around to try and dry his head. “Is it like, some sort a mental thing instead of an emotional thing?”

Hanzo stared at him a moment trying to understand what differentiation he was trying to make. “I do not see how emotions are not also a mental thing. What are you asking?”

“Well I consider emotions ta come more from the heart area, but what I meant is...” He paused a moment and bounced his head to the side thinking of a way to explain. “Like, depression and shit. That’s a mental thing, negative impact and all. Just wonderin’ if what you deal with is more along those lines.” Just barely after the last word came out, a cigar was put between his teeth and subsequently lit. “I feel like we all have issues like that anymore, what with the way the world was when we were growin’ up. Like, I’m doin’ pretty good lately but I’ve got depression issues myself, but I try ta keep the spirits up when I can. It just wouldn’t surprise me if ya have something up there too, y’know?”

Hanzo sat and stared into his pear, which he hadn’t been hungry enough to eat the entirety of. He had never thought much about things like that; he was just the way he was and that was normal. This man was the first to suggest to him that something might actually be wrong, that this wasn’t supposed to be normal for him. He sat for a minute, remembering something from a time long past that never failed to make him feel dizzy even when he was sitting. Those things were normal too, right? He was always scolded for his weakness when those things happened. If those things had something to do with why his mind would suddenly leave him at certain times, it would make sense. It was always when those things were brought up that he felt like he was missing himself. Perhaps the other man was right. Perhaps there was something broken in his mind.

“I...” one syllable was enough to let him catch himself holding his breath. He needed something to bring him back to reality, something to pull him out of his thoughts. His head was numb from remembering, and he blinked hard to refresh his vision. “We should keep going. Dawn will be upon us soon and we shouldn’t let her catch us sitting.”

McCree took a long drag from his cigar before making to get up. He had just gotten comfortable, but the other was right; taking too long of a break would just make him dread having to get to his feet again. He replaced his hat to the prime position on his head and stood, stretching before throwing the bags back on his back. Hanzo did much the same. He took one last bite from his pear before throwing it aside. He stood, stretched only half as much as McCree, and threw his bag over his shoulder.

“What time’s the sun set ta rise, anyway? Kinda get a feel for what time of the morning it is.” McCree had waited for Hanzo to get his things together, but Hanzo took off again without him when he was done.

“Five or six, I would assume.” He had accepted that the other man would not stop trying to make idle conversation, and figured the best route was to just give in. He hadn’t researched what time sunrise was, so all he could give him was a vague guess. Thinking of sunrise was better than what he had been thinking of, at least.

A soft “alright” is all that was said in response, the next half an hour silent besides the crunching of debris under their feet. The further they walked, the bigger the rocks became, and mixed in were several large trees. There was barely any road visible at some points, completely covered by rocks and mud. The rocks were tolerable, but the mud was impossible. Hanzo had proved to have the better balance of the two of them, narrowly avoiding slipping on several skiffs of mud more often than not. McCree was not so lucky, having fallen at least twice in the past two hours without being able to catch himself at all.

“I really think these bags are workin’ against me on this obstacle course. I never fall forwards, just keep landin’ on my ass.” This marked the third time he had fallen, and he couldn’t help but laugh at himself. “Probably wouldn’t be as bad if it hadn’t spent all night downpourin’.” He lifted his hand out to Hanzo and chuckled, “Mind givin’ me a hand on this one? I feel a little bit stuck.”

Hanzo returned his smile with a blank stare, looking from him to his hand and back again. Did he want him to pull him out of there? Certainly, he could do that on his own. McCree’s expression shifted to more of a puppy-dog-eyes sort, and he wiggled his fingers at the other man.

“You ain’t afraid a touchin’ my hand, are ya?” He switched to a smirk and held out his other hand. “What about me robot arm?” He laughed at the sour expression he got in return, wiggling his fingers still. “Come on, I just need some help here pardner.”

Hanzo stared disgustedly at his hands as they wiggled to him for help, tightening his grip on the bag straps over his shoulders. “You were able to get yourself up both times before this. I see no reason why you need help now.”

“’Cause I’m stuck in a hole this time, a ‘course. I’m just askin’ for a little pull, not a hand job. You don’t gotta be so repulsed by a pair a hands.” He dropped his arms back down and settled into his new seat. “If ya don’t help, I don’t think I can get outta here on my own, so we better just set up a camp.”

Hanzo rolled his eyes at that. There was no way he was going to agree to stop here. He sighed, relaxing his grip on the straps before pointedly extending his hand to the other. McCree grabbed his hand with his, and pushed himself with his other arm to free himself from the hole. He brushed himself off afterwards and flashed Hanzo a thankful smile.

“See, that wasn’t too bad. Now we can get goin’ again.” McCree straightened his hat and took a look at the sky, which was starting to illuminate. “Looks like dawn's here, which means it’s around five? Six? Five thirty sounds like a decent medium.” He looked back to see that Hanzo had already moved on ahead of him.

Hurrying to catch up and mindful of the way the new shadows disguised the rocks, he finally reached the other man without tripping at all. They walked together in silence after that, Hanzo always a few paces ahead of McCree. They walked until the sun was fully visible over the trees, when Hanzo dropped his bag and sat down in a place that was abnormally clear of debris.

“Everythin’ alright?” McCree dropped his bags nearby and sat on an adjacent rock, looking toward Hanzo with worry on his face.

“Yes.” Hanzo was sitting with his head in his hands, sweat dripping from his body. He exhaled and then, “I thought it would be nice to take a break now that the sun has risen.”

McCree couldn’t take issue with that logic. He had kept water handy ever since they stopped the first time, and he was just starting to feel the effects. He wondered how the other man was surviving, since he hadn’t asked for any water the whole trip. There wasn’t any way he wasn’t thirsty by now.

“You want a drink?” McCree fished out an untouched bottle of water from the bag and held it out to him. “There ain’t no way you ain’t thirsty. You should eat somethin’ too, or you’re goin’ ta make yourself sick.”

Hanzo moved his hands from his face to look at the other man. He looked exhausted, but he wouldn’t have admitted it. He looked at the water and licked his lips, having obviously forgotten that they had plenty of water on stock, before reaching out to take it. Sensing how this was going to go, McCree had another bottle ready for when he downed the first one, which was highly appreciated.

“It did not cross my mind that you carried the water.” Hanzo looked up at McCree, having just finished the second bottle of water and tossing it to the ground. “I am thankful for it now.”

McCree chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “Seemed like ya thought you were by yourself for most of that walkin’. Ya didn’t seem to want ta talk so I left ya alone, but I guess maybe I shouldn’t have since ya forgot I had the water.” He stood and shook the crotch of his pants after speaking. “I gotta take a piss, so don’t run off and leave me an’ the water again alright?”

Hanzo buried his face in his hands again as the other man walked away, having not thought at all of leaving him. The plan for his life had been to stop owing things to people, but that was becoming progressively harder the more time he was forced to spend with this cowboy. He acknowledged that “forced” was too strong of a word at this point, but lying to himself made him feel better. There was no way he would’ve made it this far without his help, and he hated it. He hated everything about this, everything about _him_. He was persistent, and friendly, and warm, and welcoming, and relaxed, and there was nothing about him that wasn’t absurd. The worst part was that he still had no idea what he wanted, what his angle was. Was he hoping to benefit from this partnership in some way? At first Hanzo thought there was something basic he was after, but as time went on he decided it had to be more complex. There was no selfless explanation for a complete stranger to follow another halfway around the world on a wild goose chase. He looked up right as McCree came back, and immediately wished he hadn’t.

McCree had taken his off his serape and had it draped over his arm, his other hand using his hat as a fan. The morning sun lit up his face beautifully, the light refracting off the beads of sweat on his forehead and dancing on every strand of his unkept hair. Hanzo stared more intently than necessary, taking in every speck of this once-in-a-lifetime event, his mouth slightly agape. He watched him turn, and smile like someone was about to take his picture. It took Hanzo a minute to realize that he was smiling at him, that he had caught him staring and that he had such little self-awareness that it took him a solid minute to realize that. He instantly averted his eyes, focusing on a rock, some dirt, anything but that man. He could hear him chuckling to himself, which only served to embarrass him further.

“What’s that for?” McCree was still grinning as he set himself back down on his rock, reaching back to the bag for some food. “Is there somethin’ on my face?” He knew there was nothing on his face, and assumed that staring at people was not something the other man did regularly. He pulled out a couple different fruits, and held them out like he had the water before. “Hungry?”

Hanzo wasn’t about to look in that direction again, but managed enough to grab one of the fruits _. There he goes again, being considerate_. Hanzo ate his fruit in silence, trying to think of something other than whatever that was he just witnessed while McCree ate his, never taking his eyes off the other man.


	12. Chapter 11 Act 5 Scene 2

Hanzo had avoided eye contact with the McCree for the rest of their break, eating a couple pieces of fruit in silence while staring at the ground. It felt good to eat, and the fruits were fresh and crisp despite the way they had been stored for the hike. The air was still somewhat cool, dew hanging from the plants that had grown among the rubble around them. The morning was quiet, with the only sounds besides their eating being the sound of birds and wild animals. He thought he might be imagining it, but there was also the faint sound of a stream coming from within the trees. Despite the catastrophic result of the Crisis, nature still found a way to persevere and thrive on this mountain.

McCree sat staring at the sky, watching as the clouds drifted across and intermingled on their journey south. He had packed his serape into the bag with the water, deciding that the heavy material was unwelcome while he was also carrying the bags that he was. He was leaned back against the rocks behind him, hat tipped back and an already half smoked cigar hanging from his mouth. He stole glances at the other man every so often, only to see that he was still being avoided. He didn’t understand how small things made the other so distant and cold, like why simply smiling at him led him to this behavior. He thought perhaps that he was just easily embarrassed, but ended up overreacting from not knowing what else to do for it. In all honesty, he didn’t see any reason to be embarrassed over staring at each other. They were both guilty at this point, it would be easier to just accept that and maybe-

“We should get going again.” Hanzo had finished his fruit and another bottle of water, and was standing as he spoke. “Rest time is over.”

McCree smirked up at him and took his time getting to his feet. His cigar was nearly finished anyway, so he couldn’t say he wasn’t about ready himself. He piled himself back up with his bags before tossing the remains of his smoke to the ground and stomping it out, making sure his spurs jingled loud enough to satisfy himself. He expected to have to run to catch up again, but noticed that Hanzo didn’t rush to be ahead of him, instead chaperoning him as he got ready.

They walked side-by-side then, having no conversation still. The silence between them was only broken when McCree would spot an animal, pointing at it and mentioning it to Hanzo to keep the mood light. Unlike with regular conversation, Hanzo never reacted poorly to having an animal’s presence pointed out, so McCree kept on his toes to locate and reveal any and all wildlife.

“So I take it ya really like animals, huh?” No matter how many sabretooth deer or goat-like creatures were pointed out, Hanzo always thanked him and stopped to watch it for a moment. Sometimes McCree could swear he was smiling even, small and faint, but it was there.

“Animals do not betray you like humans do.” He stopped and turned to face the other man, a lifetime of pain visible in his eyes for just a moment. “Animals do not lie to you about their affections, or find pleasure in your pain. Anything they might do to cause you harm is entirely out of ignorance, not malice. You cannot get that purity from humans.” He turned and made to walk again, but stopped after the first step. “Humans always want something. Even when they say they do not, there is always something. They do not give kindness without expecting something in return, and no help is given unless the other person can pay for it with their blood. Animals can be trusted. Humans cannot.” He huffed then, reverting back to his silent and distant self that had protected him for years, going back to walking.

McCree sighed. He had seen a lot of no-good people in his time as well, but he knew in his heart that there were good people in the world. He knew that the other man suspected that he had ulterior motives, but he hoped that if he was persistent he would change his mind. There had to be some way to show him that all he wanted was to help, not to take advantage of him. It would have to be in actions, though, seeing as words couldn’t be trusted once they got past the lips.

He tried to think of any way he could prove himself. If this trip panned out, maybe finding his brother would be enough to make him understand. Hell, Genji would probably vouch for him if he was lucky. Given the current relationship between the two brothers, though, that might not work either. In the past, words were all it took to convince people he was earnest; he got into Overwatch with that silver tongue of his, after all. Hanzo wasn’t like the people in Overwatch, though. While they trusted until given a reason not to, Hanzo trusted no one until given a reason to. McCree decided that a little more information about his target would be required before he could find a suitable way to sway him.

They walked for another hour or so with little to no conversation. McCree would still point out animals and Hanzo would still thank him, but he had stopped pausing for so long to watch them. McCree had found himself checking the sky every five minutes from lack of anything eventful, and became gradually more concerned the longer they walked. It was probably around 7:00AM, but instead of the sky getting brighter and warmer, it was becoming darker and a cool breeze had set in. The cooler air could be attributed to the fact that they had been hiking up toward the mountains, but the dark sky could only spell one thing: rain. Hanzo hadn’t seemed to notice the clouds, but then again, he didn’t seem to notice much of anything.

McCree thought back to all the times Genji had talked to him about his brother. Genji had always been fairly open about his past, talking about his family, his girlfriends, his training, but mostly his brother. When he talked about him, no one could tell if he cared about him or if he wanted to kill him, which left everyone very confused. He would speak kindly of him when talking about their childhood, but switch sides when talking about when they were older. By the time Genji had left the organization, McCree felt like he knew Hanzo more than he knew Genji, but after meeting the man himself he decided that wasn’t the case. When Genji talked about him, it was always so black and white; he was either great or he was Satan. There was no grey in between. While McCree had enjoyed the stories about him then, he was sure that he enjoyed the real thing even more.

Genji had talked about how Hanzo never wanted to be around people, even when he was younger and more talkative. He preferred to be alone, in his room reading or writing or studying, only coming outside to spend time with the dogs. According to Genji, this behavior only became worse as he got older, as he would forcefully seclude himself from other people for days on end. Most times, Genji was the only one he would talk to, sneaking into his room at night to just sit and talk. When morning came though, he was by himself again and his brother was nowhere to be found. He said it wasn’t for lack of trying on his part though, as he had tried multiple times to introduce his brother to new people: cute girls, friends from the park, anyone. But the result was always the same, where Hanzo sat silent as the other person talked at him, only speaking to say something harsh in response to a question.

McCree remembered how Genji held himself when he told him how he killed one of the dogs, upright with an air of smugness. He said that he had been jealous of that dog. it was his father’s favorite, and Hanzo would spend more time with it than he would his own brother. The happiness it brought him was short lived though, because their father was quick to get a new puppy to raise and entrusted its upbringing to Hanzo. Thinking on it now, McCree supposed that Hanzo had always liked animals more than people, to the chagrin of his brother.

McCree laughed at his next thought. What better way to win his trust than to find him a new dog? Certainly he didn’t have one currently, or he would’ve had to have brought it along so it wouldn’t be home alone for weeks. He admitted that that would hold some different implications though, a man doesn’t just give another man a dog as a peace offering. Thinking about it that way made him laugh again, but this time he couldn’t stop it from coming out loudly.

“What is so funny, cowboy?” Hanzo had turned to give him a sharp glare, obviously assuming whatever it was had to do with him.

“I just uh,” McCree found words between laughs, trying to calm himself down enough to come up with a valid excuse. “I uh, just thought a somethin’ funny is all. A real good joke I heard at a bar a week or so ago.”

“I am sure.” Hanzo didn’t believe him at all, and it was written all over his face. “I would like to hear a joke that was that funny.”

McCree bit his lip and avoided looking the other man in the face. He hadn’t expected him to want to hear the joke, so he didn’t actually have one on hand. And there was no way in Hell he was going to tell him what had really made him laugh. He was sure that he wouldn’t find it as comical as he did.

“Well uh, it’s not really a very good joke actually, I was just rememberin’ the way he told it, y’know? He told it in a funny voice, I don’t think I can mimic it.” Maybe that would do it. Anything to keep from telling him that he was laughing because he thought about how he might react to the implication of them being close enough to get a dog together.

“I would still like to hear it, regardless. The only reason why you would not be able to tell me is if you were not actually thinking of a joke, hm?” He turned to face him fully now, a slight smirk on his face. He could tell there was something else to this, supported by the fact that the other man was not good at bluffing.

McCree couldn’t help but grin, having caught himself in a web he didn’t see a way out of. He racked his brain thinking of something funny, anything really, it’s not like the other man was going to laugh at it anyway. He put his face in his hands, still slightly laughing but now more at himself than the original thought. Peeking through his fingers, he saw the other man simply watching him, arms crossed and a slight smile on his face. If he had known that just laughing at himself would be enough to make the other smile, he would’ve tried it hours ago.

“Listen, I ain’t really got any jokes worth tellin’, actually. I can’t lie to ya, I was just thinkin’ a somethin’ and it sounded real funny in my head but if I say it out loud I know it ain’t gonna sound half as funny.” He kept his hands on his face, hoping to get a pass this time if he seemed sincere enough.

“I am sure it will be even more comical if you would say it now, actually. I have been built up by your laughing to think that this is comedy gold, so I would at least like to hear it.” Hanzo wasn’t going to even think about budging off of this now that he was here. The only way out now was to come clean.

“Uh, well uh, I was just thinkin’ about dogs, y’know? Thinkin’ about how I never had one, might be a good travelin’ pardner. Just thinkin’ about takin’ a dog while runnin’ from the law sounded pretty funny in my head.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but he had been thinking about dogs, so it would have to work. There wasn’t one thing worth laughing that hard about in this story, but maybe he would get lucky and Hanzo would accept that last bit as comedic enough.

Hanzo narrowed his eyes at him for a long moment before shrugging and turning back around. “It would be wise to invest in a small dog then, which would be easy to pick up and run with.” He didn’t believe that was what had been so funny, but without any other evidence it would have to suffice. If that had been the whole truth, there wouldn’t have been any reason for him to hide that like he did. He decided maybe it was better this way.

McCree exhaled and went back to walking with him, making a mental note to watch himself the next time he thought of something like that. For some reason, he really didn’t think it was a good time to talk about relationships. He looked back up at the sky, noting how much darker it had gotten just in the short time they had been talking. Rain was really going to slow them down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything might seem normal but Hanzo is going to reach his breaking point in about *checks watch* three chapters. Thank you rain!


	13. Chapter 12 Act 5 Scene 3

By the way the shadows of the underside of the clouds looked, McCree figured it had to be about 8:30, possibly 9:00. He had been waiting to mention it until it had gotten a little worse, when he figured the other man would be more open to setting up a camp. The way the clouds were moving now though, he wasn’t sure that they would have enough time like he had planned.

“Hey uh, Han? Looks like it could rain at any minute. You want ta try and set up some shelter ‘fore it hits?”

Hanzo stopped firmly when the other man spoke, still not alright with this nickname he’d assigned him. He stared straight ahead, trying to determine how much further they had to go from this point.

“Are you insinuating that you do not want to hike in the rain?”

“I...” McCree hadn’t imagined that this guy would want to hike in the rain. Hadn’t he gotten his fill of sliding on mud from this morning? There’s no way he could be serious about that. “I was just thinkin’ that if it was plannin’ ta come down like it did last night, it’d make it mighty unpleasant to walk in it, is all.”

Hanzo looked over his shoulder at the other, his face unreadable. “We will make better time if we walk through it. It is just water, it will not hurt you.”

“I really wanna assert that we not walk through the rain. There might be lightning, and a couple of guys soaked to the bone surrounded by trees sounds like a great target for that kind a power. And I don’t know about you, but I’d like to get to our destination alive.” He was prepared to argue this if it came down to that. There was no way on God’s green earth that he was going to walk an unknown amount of time in a thunderstorm. It just, simply, wasn’t going to happen. “Let’s just stop here, set up a couple tents, and when it passes we can walk again. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with takin’ shelter.”

Hanzo turned and watched him as he started setting down his bags. He watched him pull out a cigar, and after sticking it between his teeth, reach in the bag for the tarps. He stood silently as the other man attempted to make sense of the plastic, waiting for him to realize that there wasn’t a space large enough to stake it to the ground. Under them was solid rock, and below that the remains of an asphalt road. The only dirt was what had fallen with the rocks, and none of it was deep enough to dig a stake into. He watched him fight to stick the stakes between rocks, before eventually realizing that they hadn’t managed to pack any rods to lift the tarp off the ground. McCree sat next to his mess, at his wits end and not a little anxious about being stuck outside with an impending storm.

“If you are done with that, I have a different suggestion.”

McCree looked up at the other man, clearly exhausted mentally. “We are not goin’ ta walk in the rain, Han. Not goin’ t happen. The sky is goin’ ta open up any minute ‘cause a my misjudgin’ the wind, and I really don’t see any way to get this set up, and I still’d rather sit under this thing like it’s some kind a blanket than keep walkin’.”

Hanzo smirked and pointed his thumb over his shoulder in the direction they had been walking. “You sit and stare at the map every time we sit down, and you did not see that there is an airport near here? I was trying to get there. It seemed like much better shelter than what we have.”

McCree stared at him for a solid two minutes trying to figure out if he was joking or not. Not believing that was the truth, he pulled out the map, only to be surprised that there was in fact an airport. That is, if it wasn’t destroyed in the Crisis, there was an airport. He sighed and laid back on the mess of tarps, relieved that the other man hadn’t really intended for them to walk in the storm.

“We do not have time for you to be taking a nap. Put those things away and come on.” He turned on his heel with that, continuing to walk toward this airport that may or may not still exist.

McCree hurriedly folded the tarps back up, shoving them and the stakes back from whence they came. He got to his feet and threw the bags back on before nearly sprinting to catch back up again. The rocks underfoot had gotten larger, which meant less holes, making them easier to walk on. They had only walked for a few minutes when Hanzo suddenly stopped, throwing his arm out to the side to direct McCree to stop as well.

“We need to find another route.”

“What?” McCree quietly walked up next to him, looking to see what was making them have to redirect. Standing behind his arm it was clear: a large bear was lazily wandering where they needed to walk. McCree snorted and pointed out to the right. “Looks like she’s headed to the left, so we might go to the right. Wouldn’t want ta run into her again on the other side too.”

Hanzo nodded in agreement and started toward the right, followed closely by McCree. They had stayed out of the trees thus far, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Neither of them enjoyed the idea of being surrounded by trees with an impending storm, but it seemed at least marginally safer than taking a bear head on.

They wandered deep into the forest, allowing the bear ample space so she wouldn’t hear them. They went back to walking north when they could no longer see the road, but the trees made it impossible to see much of anything anyway. They walked together, crunching leaves and branches under their feet and avoiding fallen trees and boulders.

They walked further than necessary to avoid the bear, and became acutely aware of what a mistake that was when a loud crack broke above their heads. The two of them looked up simultaneously, right as rain began to come down on the ill-prepared travelers. They looked at each other, and then quickly around in a last-ditch effort to find something, anything that wasn’t wood.

“Here, over here!” McCree grabbed the other man by the arm and pulled him deeper into the woods. The terrain was easier to run on in the forest, due to the lack of sharp rocks and the presence of leaves to cover the mud.

“We should go the other way, you idiot! There is only trees this way!” Hanzo moved to keep pace with him against his better judgment, watching the ground to ensure nothing tripped him as he let himself be dragged to what surely would end in disaster.

“I seen a cave here, an’ if we run fast enough I’m sure we’ll get there ‘fore we die!” McCree made no effort to loosen his grip on Hanzo’s arm, partially to ensure that he was still with him and partially because he just felt a little safer that way.

Hanzo was not comforted by his choice of words. He had better hope his eyes weren’t mistaken about this cave, or the weather wouldn’t be the only thing threatening this cowboy’s life.

A short minute later and they arrived at the cave, a decent sized hole in the wall that could easily accommodate the both of them. They hurried inside, McCree still pulling the other by his arm even though the time for that had past. He kept hold of him even after they were safely inside, his grip loosened but still firm.

“You did very well to scout this. We would have been in a lot more trouble otherwise.” Although the hand on his arm wasn’t entirely welcomed, Hanzo decided not to shake him off. They stood close, both breathing in tandem trying to catch their breath again.

“We just got lucky, I think. With all the fallen rocks an’ shit, I woulda thought this place would’ve been covered up or caved in. Real lucky.” McCree went to stand up straighter, moving his hand from Hanzo’s arm to his back before giving him a pat. “Guess it’s time for another break, huh?”

Hanzo gave him a shallow grin and shook his head. “I suppose if you must take a break, now would be a good time to do it.”

They separated, both going to opposite sides of the cave. They unloaded their bags in the middle, and took out tarps to cover the ground to avoid the mud. They sat in silence for a long while, tending to their areas in an attempt to keep themselves busy. At one point, McCree pulled out his serape and wrapped it around himself, leaning back against the wall and making himself comfortable.

“There ain’t nothin’ ta do and I don’t know how long this rain’s gonna last for, so I think I’m goin’ ta take me a nap if that’s alright with you.”

Hanzo looked up from the arrow he had been intently staring at to give him a nod of approval. He figured that might be the best route at this point, seeing as it would pass the time faster than just drawing circles in the dirt floor for hours. He watched the other man settle back into a good nap position, pulling his hat down over his face and crossing his arms across his chest. He couldn’t tell when he finally fell asleep. His breathing was as even as it always was, and he didn’t snore.

Hanzo watched him for what seemed like forever, listening to the sound of the storm just a few feet away. It was quiet, no city noise, no people, just the silence between them with the relaxing sound of the rain as accompaniment. At some point, he put his arrows away and laid down across the tarp under him, his eyes still on the cowboy, his mind empty. He hadn’t been tired in the least before, but now he felt himself drifting between being awake and being asleep, finally succumbing to the weight of his eyelids.


	14. Chapter 13 Act 5 Scene 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for allusion to past suicide attempt, some visualization. It's in a dream so nothing active but still!

“You don’t have to do this. No one is telling you that you have to do this, brother.”

He had been here before. He looked around, finding everything exactly as it should be. They stood several yards apart in the old training room, the only light coming in from between the planks on the windows. The air smelled musty and dry, the dust thick in it. He stood firm, completely opposite of his brother’s relaxed form.

“No one has to tell me. It is my duty, and I am not going to run away from it. Please, we have all had enough of this nonsense you insist on. Come home, and stand by my side like before.”

“I will not. I have my own path to follow, one separate from the one paved by our father, and his before him. I see a different truth, one of peace and not hostility. There is more to this life than killing, and I have seen it.” Genji took a step back, shrugging his shoulders and smirking. “Of course, it must be hard for you to understand that your way isn’t the only way.”

Hanzo bit his tongue, like he always did. “You are being a brat, Genji. The elders are right, it would do you good to come back to Earth and behave like an adult. You are old enough now to leave your childish behavior behind and be a productive member of the family. There is more to what we do than killing.” He smirked back, knowing that this was only a game to his brother. “Of course, it must be hard for you to understand that there is more to life than bedding women.”

Genji huffed a sort of muted laugh before crossing his arms. “You wouldn’t have the faintest clue about that though, would you brother? Have you ever even seen a woman without clothes? No, or else you would understand that that sight is better than anything you’re used to.”

“Of course I know nothing of it, since you seduced and consequently stole my bride-to-be. Unlike you, I am an honorable man, and have eyes for only one lady at a time. Forgive me if I was not feeling very attractive after that affair.” Hanzo followed the script, not yet uncomfortable with the situation.

“Puh-lease,” Genji relaxed, leaning his head to the side and letting his arms swing unrestricted at his sides again. “You wouldn’t have been happy even if I hadn’t intervened. You didn’t want her, hell, I haven’t seen you actually want to be with anyone! We both know that was a sour arrangement by the elders to end one of their own arguments with another clan. I mean, I pretty much saved your ass on that one. You should be thanking me.”

“Thanking you? Not for that. I was perfectly fine with the arrangement, and so was she. Your intervention was out of line. Are you finished excusing yourself? It is time to come back.” It was obvious he was trying to change the topic, as usual. No matter what else he brought up tonight, the fact remained that he was coming back home and straightening up his act. The elders would not accept anything less.

“I told you, I’m not going. You know I don’t have to, either. You’re the boss now, remember? You can just say you didn’t think it was a big deal, and let me go.” He smiled at him. Genji’s smile was big, a real crowd pleaser. He had used it in the past to get anything he wanted, from anyone, but that trick wouldn’t work tonight.

“I agree with the elders. You have no discipline, and it is in everyone’s best interest if you settle down and grow up. You will thank us later, if you would just try.”

“No way. They want me to do bad shit, they would have me kill people. No way, no way. I’m not like that, never will be. I actually have a conscious, unlike you. I don’t care what someone does, they don’t deserve to die for it.”

“No action deserves death? That is hilarious. If you knew our enemies as I do, you would understand why death is too kind for them. But that is beside the point. There is more to do with the organization than murder. You just refuse to see it. You would not have to kill anyone, if you would just come back.”

“I don’t care what you want me to do. It isn’t worth my freedom. I don’t want to be involved in any capacity, when I can just live on my own and do whatever, whenever I please.”

“You are such a child. You have no sense of responsibility. What sort of job do you think you could hold? Your only worth is as a ninja and a bachelor. Those are not marketable traits in the peace industry.”

“I’ll figure something out. I just don’t want to deal with the elders’ drama.”

“You would not even stay to assist me? I am not able to run this on my own. I could use your valuable input. You would be able to do as you please aside from when I needed you, of course.”

“No. Don’t you understand? I. Don’t. Care. The whole organization can go to hell, Hanzo. I hate it, and everything it stands for. And you’re an idiot if you think you’re doing something good by staying in it. Why don’t you leave too, just tell them to kiss your ass and come with me?”

Hanzo sneered at him, as he always did at this point.

“You are the fool. There is honor in the work we do, whether you want to see it or not. Not that that means much to you, seeing as you prefer to be a dishonorable cretin and hold false grudges against your name. You are better than this, you are a Shimada. You should not be wasting your life with this folly you claim to believe in. This is the last time I will ask you to come with me. I do not want to have to force you, brother.”

Genji narrowed his eyes and adopted an annoyed look. He exhaled sharply and put a hand on his katana, a sign that he was prepared to fight if it came to that.

“Don’t call me ‘brother’ right after threatening me, Hanzo. We both know I’m the better ninja, and I’d be happy to kick your ass if it meant you’d leave me alone. I don’t need you anymore, or the family. Like you said, I’m an adult now. I’m allowed to make my own decisions and I choose to leave. I don’t know where I’m going, but as long as it’s away from you and this place, I don’t really care.” His words were bitter and harsh, and it was obvious he meant them. He shifted his weight to his other foot, still relaxed as always, his hand still resting on his blade.

This was the part that always brought on the bad feelings, the exact moment when Hanzo felt his mind slipping. Even in dreams he could feel himself dissociating.

“I do not want to fight you, Genji. You are still my brother, and you are the most important person in my life. Please do not make this difficult. No one will win if we fight now. It would only end in sorrow.” He opened his eyes to look up at him, and he became aware that his tone had shifted to a plea. “Please, brother, I do not want to do this.”

“Don’t act like that, we both know it’s a front. If I was so important to you, you wouldn’t have come after me like this. But no, you chose differently.” He gently drew his blade and let it rest to his side. “Don’t worry your conscious with familial bonds, either. I’m done being kin to this family.”

Hanzo kept his hand on his bow, not entirely convinced he needed to fight. Everything became clearer, and he felt like he could see everything at once in great detail. Time stood still, and he took this time to think through what was happening. His brother stood before him, blade drawn, denouncing his family and ready to fight for this alternate path as he had so many nights before. Perhaps he should just let him go. The words he spoke had registered this time, and Hanzo was sure everything could be prevented if he backed down now. It felt better to give up. He knew how this would end otherwise, the same way it always ended, in tragedy and regret.

His body disagreed, though. The same impulse he felt every time his mind left him was at the forefront of his mind, pushing him to show Genji what he was capable of. Anger, side by side with sadness and fear, overcame him. He wished he could make it stop.

Genji was approaching slowly, blade steady at his side. Hanzo knows that he feels confident, like it would be an easy fight. Hanzo couldn’t stop himself from tightening his grip on his bow, against everything in him telling him to leave it as it was. How many times would he have to relive this same moment until he could force himself to back down?

Genji wasted no time when he was within range. His speed had always been enviable, even if he sometimes forgot what he was supposed to be doing with it. Hanzo felt his body move against the will he had spent all that time building, drawing his bow to block the first attack, then the second, and then third. The swings seemed heavier than he remembered them being, nearly knocking him off balance a couple times. That was different.

“Is that all you’re going to do? At least try, I want to beat you fairly!” Genji pointed his blade toward him and adopted a cocky smile. “Take aim at me. I know you couldn’t hit me even if I was standing still.”

“I will not, I did not come to kill you again.” The push against the scripted actions finally took hold, and he felt in control of the situation for the first time. He could do this, he could stop this from happening again.

The look on Genji’s face twisted to something he hadn’t seen before, and he readied his blade again. “Again? You couldn’t have killed me a first time. Stop being pathetic and show me your resolve.”

Just then, Hanzo could swear he sounded just like their father. He stood like him, too. He laughed to himself at the thought of Genji being anything like their father. He looked at him, really looked at him this time. He didn’t look anything like the Genji he had grown up with, now. His body was harder, metal even, and his face was entirely covered. He was the new Genji, the one who killed their entire clan and then refused to finish the job.

“I want to let you go. I want to forget this ever happened. I want you to come back home with me and play a few hands of poker over some sake, which you will win. I want you to be my brother again, Genji.” He dropped his bow to the ground with that, still keeping his eyes on the ghost of his brother. He smiled. He didn’t lose himself this time. He didn’t kill him.

“There’s nothing to come back to now. I have followed my path while you stayed static. I have accepted what I am, and I have forgiven you for what you did to me. Now you must forgive yourself. The world is changing once again Hanzo, and it’s time to pick a side.”

Hanzo wasn’t angry anymore. He was confused, and didn’t know what was going to happen. He had never been successful before. Was this his reward for stopping the biggest mistake of his life? His brother was still dead, here to preach to him again on rights and wrongs.

“I can never forgive myself for what I’ve done!” The words came out louder than he had meant, but Genji stood firm. “The only thing I deserve is death, brother. There is no road to redemption off the path I chose!” He could feel himself start to shake, hating that his mind couldn’t think of a better alternative to this.

Genji pointed his blade at him again and let out a laugh. “Death would not teach you anything. What is that you always say? That the more dishonor a man has, the kinder death would be to him? It is better for you to struggle for redemption than to be allowed eternal rest. You will not get redemption through death!”

The words he spoke were true, even if Hanzo did not want to hear them. While Genji was able to forgive him, though, Hanzo had resigned himself to the fact that he could never forgive himself. Death was easier, he could fight with someone and lose as he had wished was the case all those years ago. He knew in his heart that Genji would not have killed him back then, just as he refused to kill him now.

“It does not matter if I live or die, Genji. The past is gone and we will never be the same as we were. You and I, we are not the same people. I have nothing! Everyone I used to call family, dead! I have no one, no hope for the future, nothing!”

“All you have to do is forgive yourself, brother. I will be waiting for you when you are ready.” He sheathed his blade and bowed, turning swiftly before vanishing in a cloud of smoke. Hanzo was alone again, trapped in the dim room of his own mind.

“Wait, Genji!” He shouted, but there was no one to hear him. He took a step forward, and another, only stopping when he felt something at his feet. A person lay at his feet, a crumpled heap in white laying in a pool of blood.

A sharp pain ran up his arm, and he looked down to see it covered in deep gashes. Blood was running down and dripping onto the wood floor, and he stumbled backwards from realization. He had been here before too. He fell to his knees, pushing the person before him over only to find it was himself. He was in pain, the room suddenly illuminating and the sound of static filling his ears. He shook looking at his own body before him, and looked up to find his brother standing over him. Genji looked like he had been crying, wearing his pajamas and messing with something in his hands that was too small to discern. Remembering, he knew it was one of many miniature cranes. He didn’t want to be here anymore.

Hanzo realized he wasn’t breathing, and took a deep breath that only seemed to make things worse. He pushed himself away from the scene in front of him, which only served to remind him of the splitting pain in his arm. The sudden movement also jarred his head, amplifying the soft static into overtaking all of his conscious thought.

He could hear someone yelling. It sounded distant, and after looking up he saw it wasn’t Genji. All of a sudden, he couldn’t see anything or anyone, not even the scene that had been less than a foot away. He wasn’t in the training room anymore; everything was white, or black, he couldn’t really tell. His arm hurt, and all he could hear was the static and muffled yelling. Everything was too much and his heart was beating out of his chest.

A loud bang filled his head suddenly, completely replacing the static and snapping him awake. He jerked himself upright only to be grabbed by an unknown assailant, who was yelling loudly, and he tried to force himself to focus. He couldn’t breathe, and they were shaking him, yelling at him.

“Hanzo?!”

His vision finally cleared, and he was face to face with that damned cowboy he forgot was there. What the hell did he want? He went to grab him back, and a sharp pain shot up his right arm, forcing him to immediately recoil.

“Hanzo? Can you hear me, are you alright?”

He looked up into the cowboy’s fear-stricken face, now more confused than he had been just moments ago over Genji.

“What the hell do you want?!” He got a surprised look in response, followed by a relieved sigh.

“Just wanted ta make sure you were alright, is all.” He nodded his head toward the back of the cave. “Probably just saved your life.”

Hanzo looked to where he had nodded to see the large bear from before laying in a heap. He let out a wheeze before looking back to McCree, and then to his arm. The bear must have tried to drag him away by his arm, which had done a number on it.

“Arigatou, cowboy. I owe you my life.”


	15. Chapter 14 Act 5 Scene 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What you've all been waiting for! (and then I have to go back to the status quo for awhile gomenna,)

“Sorry ya had ta wake up like that. Got real lucky that I woke up ‘fore it got a lot worse, though.”

The two men sat less than a foot apart, both on their knees looking at Hanzo’s arm. His vambrace had protected his arm to some extent, but consequently took a lot of damage itself. It seemed that the bear had found it hard to get a grip on the metal, prompting it to move further up the arm, which is where most of the injury was sustained.

Hanzo wasn’t fazed much by the pain, gently removing the armor and clothing to get a better look at it. The bites were deep, and slightly angled from where he had been dragged. There was a lot of blood, but neither man made any attempt to catch it. They simply sat and stared at it until Hanzo spoke.

“I do not recall packing any sort of medical supplies. It was daft of me to think I could go one hiking trip without injuring myself somehow.”

“Yeah uh, we don’t even have napkins or anythin’.” McCree couldn’t take his eyes off the situation in front of him, a look half of concern and half of disgust on his face. It was like what they said about train wrecks: horrific, but you can’t help but watch.

“I should, clean it up somehow...” The other trailed off, glancing around to try and find anything that could be of use. His eyes landed on the red fabric on the other side of the cave, and he gestured to it with his other hand. “Give me that. You aren’t using it.”

McCree turned his head to see what he was talking about, and immediately insisted he use something else. “That’s handmade, there ain’t another one like it in the whole world. I can’t just cut it up and give it to ya! Besides, it’s pretty rough and dirty, an’, I just can’t let ya use that.”

Hanzo huffed at him and gestured to his bloody arm. “It wouldn’t show blood. We could figure a way to wrap this without cutting it to pieces. It is not that big of a deal.”

McCree looked desperately around the cave for literally anything else that would be more reasonable. “Why don’t ya use your own clothes? I mean, y’aint planning to just leave that shirt thing around your waist, right?”

“ _Shirt thing_? You mean my _kimono_? Blood is impossible to get out of silk, you fool.”

“It’s black, Han! You wear it all the time, you can’t tell me you ain’t gotten blood on it before.”

“It is already ripped up, it does not need to be soaked in blood as well.”

“You sound like you’re anticipatin’ usin’ it still even though it’s got holes in it. You’re goin’ ta have to get a new one anyway.”

Hanzo scoffed at him and put his hand over his face. “Yours has holes in it as well. Do you only understand the importance of things when they belong to you? I believe we may have similar reasons for not wanting to cut up our belongings.”

McCree settled back on his heels and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. “We got ta do somethin’, though. You can’t just run around with your arm bleedin’ everywhere that’s for damn sure. I’d say there’s gotta be a point when you’d be open to cuttin’ up your clothes, but even when I lost my arm I just used my shirt.”

They both sat and stared at each other then, both hoping to see the answer to this dilemma in the other’s face. McCree rubbed his head, trying to get his mind thinking outside the box for this one. Hanzo watched him, glancing over to his arm every so often.

“Goddammit.” McCree threw his hands up in the air and slapped them back down on his knees, jolting them both out of the thick silence that had formed. “I literally just said it and didn’t think about it.”

Hanzo raised an eyebrow at him, but soon caught on to what they had both missed. McCree stood up, tossing his hat to the ground before unhooking his chest plate. Soon that was off as well, and Hanzo bit his lip watching him take his shirt off. He knew there wasn’t anything behind it, but the way he slid out of it looked so rehearsed, like he had practiced this moment every day. It was a gentle, fluid motion and Hanzo couldn’t help but stare.

“This works fine. Always has for me, it’ll do just fine now.” McCree tossed it over to Hanzo before turning around. After shuffling with the bags, he produced a couple bottles of water to wash it off, almost tossing them as well before thinking better of it.

They worked together in silence, McCree pouring water on the other’s arm as Hanzo followed behind with the shirt. He would dry, and then immediately apply pressure to the openings, eventually covering all of them with an extra hand from McCree. A moment later and the latter had the arm completely wrapped up, tightly and securely with some well-placed knots.

“That should do it.” McCree leaned back away from the other and took a look at their combined efforts. “Hope ya can still move your arm pretty good. I tied it pretty tight.”

Hanzo flexed his arm a bit to get used to the pressure, the pain a minor inconvenience at this point. “It is fine, thank you.”

With the wounds tended to, they went back to sitting silent, watching each other as they waited for something to happen. It was slightly awkward now, both men’s torsos exposed for the world to see, and neither man offered to talk about it.

“So I, wanted to ask how you were so quick with that. The, taking care of that situation just then.” Hanzo sat with his right arm in his lap, his left hand on his injured arm, and his eyes as averted as he could manage.

“I’m not real sure, I just sorta saw somethin’ there and, it was the, I just thought fast about it.” McCree was intently focused on his hands, which rested in his lap as his fingers weaved together.

“Did it wake you up? The bear I mean, was it being loud?” He looked over toward the bear, deciding it was much more acceptable to stare at it instead of what he really wanted to look at.

“Nah I uh, you was talkin’ in your sleep again.” Again, implying that he had been aware of this habit from before, which left Hanzo confused as to when that would have been.

“I was not aware I did that, or that I would have been loud enough to wake you up.”

“I was just takin’ a nap, so I was sleepin’ pretty light anyway. Wouldn’t take much.”

They went back to not talking after that, sitting together in tense silence. The rain was still coming down, making the air damp but clear. The next course of action wasn’t clear to either of them, besides trying to avoid eye contact.

“I uh, I’m going back over I guess.” McCree pushed himself off the ground with that, turning to head back to his side of the cave. He paused when the other man cleared his throat, and turned over his shoulder to look back at him.

“I am still, very, very thankful to you.” It was hard to admit that he had been saved by someone he had been actively trying to get rid of for days. He bit his lip, his eyes still on the unmoving body of the bear. This was the proof he had needed, the one thing that made him feel like there wasn’t an ulterior motive here. “You had no obligation to do that.”

McCree watched him for a minute before replying, letting himself grasp the gravity of the situation. He knew it had to have taken a lot for him to thank him like that, and it was surprising he actually had, to say the least. A real “thank you,” unprovoked, from the guy who would rather get alcohol poisoning than accept a glass of water. _This is what progress looks like,_ he thought. _We might actually be getting somewhere._

“It wasn’t any problem. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Hanzo looked up at him then, his expression a mix between confusion and sadness. He remembered that night at the bar, which now seemed like it had been months ago. He had come in and solicited his friendship then, and after everything was still intent on that goal. He was certainly unlike anything Hanzo had ever seen before.

“You still insist on being friends with me, no matter how terrible I am to you? Has that been your only goal this entire time? Will you not give up?”

McCree turned back to face him with a sigh, moving his hands up to rest on his belt buckle. He smiled at him, a soft and warm smile accompanied by a light chuckle.

“Is it really that surprising’? I tried ta tell ya I wasn’t the sort a guy you thought I was.”

“You are so, insufferable...” Hanzo looked back down to himself, to his bent up vambrace, the blood mixed with water sitting in the tarp. He had gotten so used to being alone, to relying on no one but himself and his own ability, that this felt so painfully foreign. Was this really it? All his anger, his distrust, just for this man to tell him it was pointless?

What was next? Fleeting happiness?

He thought of Genji. Genji would smile at him like that too, a pure, innocent, gentle smile that could make everything go away. He missed him. He killed him, his only brother, his best friend in the world, and left his body to rot where no one would find it. He was the worst, he didn’t deserve to see him, let alone get him back in his life for good. But he was almost there now, partnered with this wanna-be cowboy that treated him better than he should.

This stupid cowboy. His entire existence felt like something fate shoe-horned into his life for no good reason. It was fate that they had met, luck that they had gotten this far, and a miracle he hadn’t killed him yet. Why was he so weak to this man? He wore his heart on his sleeve, like a fool. His entire personality was built around being transparent, like there wasn’t any secrets worth keeping in his life. It was frustrating. Worst of all, his smile was warm and bright and comforting, just like Genji’s. Was this supposed to be his lesson in redemption?

“Hey, you’re gonna hurt yourself even worse doin’ that.” McCree was back on the ground, reaching his hand over and putting it on top of Hanzo’s. He intertwined their fingers to loosen the other’s grip on his own arm, using his other hand to support him as he leaned closer. “You feelin’ alright?”

Hanzo looked over to him, their faces mere inches apart, and looked him in the eyes for the first time since he threatened to kill him in that bedroom. It was different this time, more relaxed despite the stress Hanzo felt over his thoughts. Why was he like this? Why did this man care so much about him when all he had ever done in response was beat him down? Why was he so close now, close enough to feel his breath on his face?

Hanzo tightened his grip, squeezing McCree’s hand rather than his injured arm. McCree’s fingers were larger than his, in both width and length, and much warmer too. It felt nice, sitting like this, being like this, but there was still the uncertainty in his stomach. There had to be a catch to this. This could only end badly, as everything good ever had. His personality, his relationships, even his brother, destroyed by his inability to control his own mind. This wouldn’t be any different. This was temporary.

He kept his eyes on this man before him, looking deep into his hazel eyes. They watched him back, calm, and unwavering. Hanzo moved his other hand up, replacing the fingers of the other and getting a better grasp on McCree’s. He reached his newly freed hand up to the others face, pressing his palm against his jaw and running a thumb across his cheek.

McCree sat still, letting him change hands but not taking his eyes off him. This was a turn of events he couldn’t have predicted, and the air between them was thick. He breathed slow and soft, but it was hard to keep it steady.

Hanzo traced his thumb softy over the wrinkles in the other’s face, his spare fingers knit into his beard. This was the closest he had been to another human in over a decade, and it felt better than he had ever remembered. This warmth, the atmosphere, the lack of aggression, it felt nice.

He ran his thumb back down the other’s cheek, brushing it over his mustache. It was course and thick like the rest of his facial hair, specks of grey littering the otherwise dark hair. His thumb moved further down, caressing the full and slightly chapped lips beneath. How long had it been since he had kissed someone? He couldn’t even remember now.

He was so invested in this man’s face that he barely registered the hand making its way to his side, slowly, coming to a firm rest on his waist. He exhaled sharper than necessary, his lips twisting into a smirk as he closed his eyes. In the next moment, those full lips were pressed against his, and he found himself unable to fight back.

His hands betrayed him, one finding its way into McCree’s hair and the other entangling itself with the other man’s, both pulling him closer against his will. He found himself kissing back, softly and first, and then deeper when that wasn’t enough.

McCree couldn’t help himself, sliding his arm around the other’s waist and welcoming his new-found passion. He tried to readjust the way he was sitting, but Hanzo’s pull on him prevented that and he moved forward. Hanzo collapsed under him, pulling him down on top of him and wrapping a leg around him. Hanzo’s grip in his hair tightened, wriggling his other hand free and running it down his chest before hitting his belt. That wouldn’t do, and in the next instant he was tugging at the large buckle impatiently.

“Whoa, whoa hold up there.” McCree pulled away from him, looking down at his appalled face. He breathed, shifting his focus to the hand on his belt buckle. “That’s a little fast. Give me a second.”

“What?!” Hanzo huffed, gripping the buckle tighter and shifting to anger. What the hell did he mean, ‘give him a minute?!’ “You do not just start this and not have the nerve to finish it, you-”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t gonna finish it, I said give me a second. I ain’t used to goin’ very fast, or really goin’ at all.”

“Ridiculous!” Hanzo took his hands back, throwing them over his face and groaning. “And here I was, this entire time, worrying over you only being after this! I am a fool! You are not on the run from the police, but all the men you have let down!”

McCree finished with the impossible buckle and tossed his belt aside with a grin.

“Maybe I didn’t really come prepared for somethin’ so sudden, but I won’t let ya down. Now come on, if ya want it so bad.”

Hanzo peeked from between his fingers, not confident he was going to carry through. One glance south reinstated his smirk though, and it was clear he was in for more than he bargained for.

“Heh. You know where to find it.”


	16. Chapter 15 Act 5 Scene 6

The two sat beside each other, their backs against the wall. Neither felt like talking after what just happened, letting themselves readjust in the silence. One would take a glance at the other, then avert their eyes back to their hands. Despite the unspoken tension, the air still felt cool and crisp from the rain. Several minutes went by before either of them spoke.

“That was... Entirely unexpected.”

“You started it.”

“I don’t mean that.” McCree pulled out a cigar then, putting it between his lips and leaving it unlit. “I’m talkin’ about, you, an’ that.”

Hanzo looked up at him. “It isn’t a big deal. I’d appreciate it if you’d forget about it.”

“I just didn’t imagine- I was just worried at first, ‘cause I don’t really come prepared for that kind a thing, but that made it easier.” He looked over and put a hand on the other’s knee. “It was real nice.”

Hanzo stared at the hand on his knee before moving to brush it off. The other withdrew it for him and used it to light his cigar, taking a hard drag and exhaling heavily.

“Give me that.” Hanzo reached up and snatched the cigar from him, putting it between his lips instead. “This is the fifth one today. You are going to kill yourself.”

McCree chuckled as he watched the other man’s reaction to the taste. It was obvious he wasn’t a cigar smoker, but decided to pick up the habit now for some reason. Hanzo kept his hand on it, taking it out of his mouth between hits.

“You know, ya shouldn’t pick up a habit ta prevent me from doin’ it. Kind a hypocritical.” He smiled at him, but didn’t get the expected glare in response. He shifted a little to face him more, and laid a hand on top of the one holding the cigar. “You’re hittin’ it like it’s weed, try an’ go a little slower.”

“It tastes disgusting. How do you smoke this?” He tried to go for a harsh tone, but his voice failed him as he spoke. “How is this supposed to relieve stress when it tastes like rotten fruit?”

McCree snorted and settled in a little closer, drawing his hand back to his side. “It’s an acquired taste, I guess. They’re supposed ta taste like cherries. You can just give it back if you don’t like it, though. No harm in that.”

Hanzo huffed before putting it back between his teeth, determined to finish it even though it tasted like garbage. “I have to finish it. I don’t have anything else.”

“Is there a reason you wanna punish yourself like that? I didn’t, it wasn’t me that stressed ya, was it?” No response. “You always need a smoke after that sorta thing?”

“It doesn’t matter. Why do you even care?” Another drag, sharply exhaling the smoke.

“Because I, I just care, alright? Hasn’t anyone ever gave a shit before?” McCree wrapped his robotic hand around Hanzo’s free hand and gently squeezed it. “You don’t have ta do that to yourself. You wanna talk about it?”

Hanzo scoffed at him and pulled his hand away, leaving the other’s resting on his knee again. “What is the point. You enjoyed yourself, did you not? It is fine.”

McCree sighed and ran his other hand through his hair. One step forward, two steps back.

“I mean, yeah, but the hope was that you liked it too. I would a been alright even if it didn’t go that far, but you really seemed ta want it.” He tilted his head a little and ran his thumb over the other’s knee. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

Hanzo bit down on the cigar and squeezed his eyes shut. Why was this man being so kind after all that? Who cared if he had fun? That wasn’t the point, was it? For some reason though, it was relevant now. This cowboy continued to baffle him, even going so far as to claim he wasn’t even after this. _What the hell does he even want?_

“I cannot figure you out, bandit. Why are you so concerned for me? What do you get out of this? You got what you were after, you can drop the act now.”

“I don’t recall ever sayin’ I wanted nothin’ from ya, actually.” McCree leaned over in a smooth motion and landed a warm kiss on the other man’s cheek, and then hesitated in pulling away. “I think I found somethin’, though. How would you feel about bein’ happy for once?”

Hanzo sunk against the wall behind him, holding the remainder of the cigar tight between his fingers. He could feel his face turn red, but whether from this kiss or the compassion, he couldn’t tell. Did he think this was a game? The other man wrapped his arm around him, snuggling his face into his neck with a hum. This was so terribly, dangerously safe. It wasn’t real, and whatever spell was on him would be broken the next time he spoke. No sense in getting used to this.

“I suppose I am never getting rid of you if those are your terms.”

Get rid of him? The way he said that didn’t even begin to convince that that was what he wanted. He didn’t try to negotiate, or even make it sound like an easy task. Even the tone made it sound like somewhere, he didn’t really want it to happen. As if, despite everything in him needing to push away, something wanted to stay just like this.

McCree hugged himself closer and rubbed a leg against the other’s. “Don’t bother me none. I ain’t lookin’ ta leave real soon anyway. Maybe with the two of us workin’ on it we might find somethin’ ta make ya happy, hm?” He brought his hand up under the other man’s chin then, giving him a small kiss on his jaw. “But I don’t want ya thinkin’ bein’ happy is just gonna get rid of me, y’hear? I might never leave even after gettin’ what I want.”

Hanzo let out a little chuckle at that. He turned what was left of the cigar in his fingers, sighing as he snuffed it on the ground beside him. The taste wasn’t going to grow on him anyway. He took a look outside, and realized it had stopped raining at some point. It was bright again, the sun filtering through the trees and refracting off the raindrops hanging onto plants. The faint sound of birds could be heard, making their way out of hiding to scavenge for worms. It didn’t feel like a thunderstorm had just been going on moments ago.

“It has stopped raining, we should keep moving now.”

A muffled groan escaped McCree’s lips, and he pressed his face further into the other’s neck.

“Get up. We have a long walk still to go. And now you will have to fight with the mud again, which I know you are excited for.” Another groan, louder this time and with intent. “Sleep here then, I will travel faster alone.”

McCree lifted himself up after that one, patting his hand on Hanzo’s chest as he straightened himself up. He didn’t know why they had to be in such a hurry all of a sudden, half hoping he could take another nap first.

“Gettin’ too comfy, huh? Couldn’t stand it.” He lifted his arms over his head and leaned back against the wall to stretch, causing something to pop loudly. He dropped his hands back to his lap, letting out a long and drawn out yawn. “Ain’t you tired at all?”

“You took your nap, it is time to wake up now.” Hanzo had gotten up, making his way to the bag pile in the center to repack their things.

“Yeah but that was before, y’know,” The lack of regard from the other man made it clear that line of reasoning wasn’t going to work. He pushed himself to his feet, taking the next minute to find his belt before folding up the tarp under him. He smiled to himself thinking of everything, especially this last bit. Maybe he wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not they actually found Genji, after all. Damn, if Genji knew about this, he might never talk to either of them again.

“Give me that, do you not know how to fold?”

Hanzo was suddenly there, taking the tarp from his hands and straightening it out to fold it for him. He looked down at his hands and realized that he must’ve been just standing there holding it like an idiot. He watched Hanzo pack up the rest of the things, carefully and meticulously. After he was done he grabbed his kimono from around his waist, sliding back into the one sleeve he always wore, effectively covering the fact that he was injured.

“Come on, we lost good time with the rain. We should still be able to make it before nightfall if we keep going.” He threw his bag over his shoulder and turned to McCree, gesturing to the other bags. “Stop staring at me and make yourself useful.”

McCree patted his hands against his legs, having not realized that he had in fact been staring. _Best to just comply_ , he thought, and went to gather his own bags. This was going to be a little less comfortable than the first half of the trip, citing his now bare torso as the main cause.

After gathering his bags, he followed the other man back out of the cave. The air was clearer now, not being weighed down by the rain and thunder, and the scent of the forest was strong. It was like they had gone in one side and come out the other, and now that the storm was out of the way the day should be much nicer.

“Well come on, right? We ain’t got all day, can’t just stand around nature watchin’.” McCree gave Hanzo a smile, and was rewarded with that classic glare. Yeah, the day is only going to get nicer.

It felt like they had woken up to a new day as they left the dark cave, the sun shining brightly and not a cloud to be seen. McCree couldn’t help but admit that he wasn’t sure which way they should be going, eliciting a smug retort from the other man. Following his lead, they found their way back to the road, a welcomed sight from the endless forest.

“So that airport, you think it’s still there? That’s, about the halfway mark a this trek I’d say.” McCree had conjured up the bag of trail mix, taking bites between maneuvering the rocks underfoot.

“I do not see how an airport would stop being where it is. I am sure it is in a good location to have not been in the way of the falling rocks, since having rock walls around it would not be very good for the planes.”

“Oh.” Thinking of it that way made a little more sense. With all the fallen rocks so far, it was only natural that he thought everything would have been destroyed. At least now that wasn’t as important, since they didn’t need it for shelter anymore.

According to the sun, it was just after 12:00. Going by the math they had worked out previously, that meant they were roughly two hours behind schedule. If they kept the same pace they had been keeping, they should get to the monastery by around 6:00 pm, so long as nothing else unexpected happened.

Not much time had passed before they stumbled on flat land, a sharp change from the hilly battle they had been fighting. There were fewer trees, and it was much easier to see the area around them. Hanzo gestured to the left, and after looking McCree knew exactly where he was.

“There it is, the infamous airport of lore.” They both turned to look at it, and it was surprising how intact it seemed to be. It was still a way off the road, but the large buildings and hangars could be clearly seen. A few large planes were parked facing their direction, still looking to be in good condition.

“It will be an adventure for another day. Perhaps we can check it out on the way back down the mountain. There is no need to waste time on it now.”

“Right. I doubt they’ve got any peanuts left anyway. Y’think they’d arrest us for spendin’ the night there if we had to?”

“There would have to be police here to notice it, to start.” Hanzo gestured back the way they came and huffed. “I am very doubtful they really care that much.”

It was a valid point. According to what Kan had said before, no one had traveled this road in years. It wouldn’t make sense for there to be any sort of police force if there wasn’t anyone up here to police.

They continued walking after that, through the flat patch before heading back uphill. The village that Kan mentioned would be next, so they aimed to reach it before taking another short break. The sun was getting hotter at last.


	17. Chapter 16 Act 5 Scene 7

Despite the rain, the larger rocks and easy to avoid skiffs of mud made the next part of the hike run smoothly. McCree didn’t fall one time during the next couple hours, and only tripped over a single stick. It wasn’t long before they were upon the village, but it was clear upon arrival that there wasn’t much left of it.

What was once a thriving little mountain village was now overcome with vegetation, the remnants of buildings sticking up between tall weeds. Rocks large and small littered the small square in the center, a broken well barely visible for the grass. Hand painted signs hung limply from abandoned stands, barely legible from years of weather. The village was destroyed, and it didn’t seem to be entirely from the falling rocks. It seemed that no place had been safe from the Crisis, not even this small place hidden in the mountains.

“Break time. It’s after two and I am starving.” McCree tossed his bags in the middle of the road, tossing himself down next to them. He let out a half groan, stretching his legs out and pulling his hat off to use as a fan.

Hanzo joined him soon after, pulling out a much-appreciated bottle of water and a pear as he sat. After eating that pear at their first break, he had found himself wanting nothing else but those every time they stopped. He had tried to eat one of the other fruits, a handful of nuts, anything, but nothing could match that taste. He made a mental note to try and bring some back to Japan with him later.

They sat in near silence, but unlike the prior rest stops there was no stagnant tension between them. At one point, McCree took his boots off to air his feet, and the only comment he got in response was that he should wear better ventilated shoes. The antagonistic air had finally been lifted.

“Hand me the map.” Hanzo reached his hand out toward the other man, who was in a better position to get what he wanted.

“Seein’ where we’re headed next?” McCree complied to the outstretched hand, fishing out the various map pieces and handing them over.

“I think our guide may have missed something that I am suddenly aware of.”

“Oh yeah? What would that be? We headin’ in the wrong direction or somethin’?”

“That would be very terrible, would it not?” Hanzo flipped the main map open, tracing the path they had already walked with his finger. He took a deep breath when he hit the approximate location of the village, and looked over his shoulder to the far side of the village. He huffed the air out between his lips, and then turned the map to the other man with his finger to point out the issue.

“Is that supposed to be where we are?” McCree leaned forward a bit, half squinting at the map for the sun.

“The village seems to mark the end of the road. At the other end seems to be some source of water, which...” He pulled his finger up to a large blue blob on the paper, “...seems to be coming from this lake and flowing down to the village. It does not seem like there is a road to where we are going from this direction.”

The other man ran his hands down his face with a sigh. “So what, we don’t got any road left so we gotta hike up the mountain?”

“Surely. Or walk around it until we find the path that leads up to the monastery. Which is, roughly, here.” He moved his finger to the small dot next to some Nepali letters that McCree had circled in town. “I would assume there was originally a mountain path to get there, but I would not know where it is or if it is even still accessible.”

“Well if this, omnic monk and Genji are livin’ up there, you think the path might be clear enough to walk? I mean, given that we can find the damn thing. Hell, an’ the plan sounded so easy when the Kan kid explained it to us.”

Hanzo turned the map back to himself and stared at it, trying to discern all the small markings apart from each other. From their location, all that was nearby was rocks, forest, and the occasional creek. The one coming into the village was the largest, and they could theoretically follow it up the mountain, but at a certain point it turned into the wrong direction. He rubbed his temples with his free hand, knowing that there had to be something he was missing.

 _Maybe I’m looking at it from the wrong point?_ He moved his focus up to the small dot indicating the monastery, and did visual laps around it in search of an answer. He brought the page closer to his face and out of the direct line of the sun, and finally found his answer. A small, thin, easily missed line was printed by the dot, colored tan unlike the yellow of the main roads. He followed it down with his pinky, landing in an entirely different village a quarter way around the mountain. It seemed like Kan had been slightly mistaken about the road they needed to take, and which village housed the base of the mountain path. This could also slow them down.

“I have found the correct path, but at the cost of having to walk around the mountain.”

McCree leaned forward for a second time, stealing a glance at the back of the village before trying to look at the map. He acknowledged their present location again, and then followed the other’s finger to the other village that they should have been heading toward. He let out a small whine and looked up toward the forest that they would now have to find their way through.

“How do we know we’re even goin’ in the right direction when we start headin’ that way?”

“I suggest we simply walk a straight line toward this other village. There is a mountain to our left, and downhill to our right, so as long as we keep those in place we should be fine.”

That sounded easy enough, but McCree couldn’t help but worry about what sort of obstacles would lie in their way. Bears, blockages, solid rock walls, sheer cliffs, the possibilities were endless. Hanzo seemed so sure of himself though, like hiking this unmarked path around a mountain was just another day for him. McCree wished he could have that confidence. Who was to say they would even be able to run into this village to find this mountain path? Granted, hiking straight up the mountain didn’t seem feasible either, but it might be the better way to go.

“So you really wanna walk halfway around this mountain ta find a different destroyed village? Wouldn’t it just be quicker to just, climb the mountain from here?”

Hanzo looked up from the map, a concerned look on his face. “Have you ever climbed a mountain before, cowboy? We do not have the gear to go mountain climbing. It is not just some large rocks going uphill, we are talking about giant sheets of rock with no ledges or handholds. Straight up.”

McCree gave himself a minute to pout after that. He had never been this close to a mountain before, being much more accustomed to the endless expanse of the American southwest. He had figured the rest of the mountain would be much the same as what they had already trekked, but apparently that wasn’t the case. It seemed that there were more to mountains than just rocks, he supposed.

After finishing their break and gathering their things again, it was time to start off around the mountain. Hanzo pulled his compass out before they left camp, double checking it against the map to get the primary bearings. They started off, McCree staying a good two steps behind Hanzo as they ventured in the forest.

Unlike the road, the forest terrain was much easier to walk through, and arguably more relaxing to be in now that the rain had passed. The sun couldn’t reach them as well through the trees, and the air was cool and damp. There was more mud, of course, but the undergrowth made it easier to maneuver than the mud in the rocks. The trees further up the mountain had seemed to prevent the large amounts of boulders falling down, compared to the open road that was covered with them. This only left a few large rocks, several downed trees, and the mud to contend with. As expected, McCree was able to traverse this much easier, and managed to not fall for the next two hours before they took another break. They found themselves in a clearing with mossy rocks perfect for sitting on, and after deciding they were about halfway there, agreed to sit for a bit.

They sat, taking in the breeze and eating their fill of jerky and energy bars. Hanzo worked to finish off the rest of the pears as well, a bittersweet event that he would regret at some other time. McCree bit into a spare mango he mistook for some other fruit, causing juice to run from his mouth and make a mess in his beard. He realized his mistake quickly, laughing at himself and pulling out a piece of bread to try and wipe it off.

Hanzo couldn’t help but laugh too, quietly and mostly to himself but still a laugh. He put a hand over his mouth, having just taken a bite from his final pear and not wanting to show it off.

“I thought this thing was, one a them things!” McCree flipped a hand toward Hanzo’s pear, a piece of bread pressed against his chin. “Turns out that thinkin’ about a certain fruit don’t mean you’ve got it in your hands, apparently!”

Hanzo could only think to laugh more at this, barely swallowing his bite without choking himself on it. McCree grinned at him, patting down his beard to make sure he got it all with the bread.

“That’ll teach me to pay more attention, else I’ll just keep makin’ a fool a myself. Next time I’ll just take yours so I don’t get confused!”

Hanzo laughed harder, only half at the comment about taking his fruit. “You think you will?” He dropped his hand from in front of his mouth, revealing a wide grin holding back more laughter.

“I think I just might, ain’t no one here to stop me is there?” McCree set down the mess of a mango he was holding on the rock next to him, wiping his sticky hands off on his pants before looking back to the other man. “Just hand it over and no one will get hurt, y’hear?”

That was it. Hanzo stopped trying to restrain his laughter, holding his hand against his stomach. He drew the hand with the pear backwards as McCree reached out for it, leaning his body back with it.

“Come on, I ain’t here ta play games. Don’t make me tell ya twice, or this could get ugly.” McCree moved himself off his seat, leaning further toward the other man. He put himself over him, a knee on each side and a hand loosely reaching for the pear. Hanzo was still laughing at him, his free hand pushing against the other’s chest lightly, the hand with the pear stretched out as far as possible away from them both.

McCree knew it wouldn’t take much to take it away from him; his arms were longer than the other’s, which would settle the dispute for them if need be. That is, if he was actually in this for the last piece of a half-eaten pear, which he wasn’t. Making the other man laugh was its own reward, even if McCree didn’t really understand what was so funny in the first place. Was it the joking threat of force? The ‘bad cop’ attitude? Or maybe the fact that he had been staring at him intently enough to forget what fruit he was holding himself? Who cared, right?

McCree took an opening to grab the wrist of the pear-holding hand, using the connection to bring them closer. He put his other hand under the other man’s chin, pressing their foreheads together.

“Now I warned ya, but ya still didn’t just hand it over, so now you’re gonna get it. What am I gonna do with ya?” Hanzo smiled up at him, having gotten a grasp on his laughter enough to keep a steady face.

McCree chuckled. “I ain’t in the business a goin’ easy on people just ‘cause they’re good lookin’, y’hear? So let’s see what it’ll be today... A good ol’ fashioned pistol whippin’?” Bad cop, threat of violence. Check.

Hanzo let out another laugh, and moved his free hand to rest on top of McCree’s Peacekeeper.

“What if I kept that from you too?”

“Guess I’ll have to figure somethin’ else out then. Like...” Keeping his hand firm on the other’s chin, he pressed a warm kiss against his lips. He pulled him closer by the arm, which elicited a muffled laugh from the other. Bad cop might be crossing an ethics line with this one, but it didn’t seem to matter.

Hanzo kissed back, but it lacked the passion and fervor that their first kiss had held. It was soft and gentle, and he smiled against the other’s lips. McCree pulled away after a minute, smiling back at him and bringing their arms back down beside them. He gave the other another small peck and a wide smile, and in the next swift movement snatched the pear from his hand and took a bite before Hanzo could react.

“You dirty bandit! You no-good cheating bastard!” Hanzo pushed away from him, trying to force a grin off his face. He wanted to be angry, but it just wasn’t happening.

Now it was McCree’s turn to get a laugh, and he leaned back on his heels. He held the fruit just out of Hanzo’s reach, laughing low and deep at his struggle.

“Ain’t you ever heard a sharin’? You’ve done eaten all a these, can’t I have just one? This ain’t even a whole one now, neither! It make you feel good to deprive a man of one small teeny pleasure on this hike?” McCree flashed another bright smile, hoping it would be enough. It might be a little bit about the pear this time.

“You’ve had enough pleasures, and just took one just now! You have a piece already, it isn’t my fault you don’t know how to eat it. You weren’t interested in these at all until you saw it was the last one!” Hanzo pushed himself toward the other man, still not quite able to reach as far as McCree could.

“Them don’t count, they ain’t even related. I mean, a pleasure for my tummy. There’s only like three bites left on this anyway, you already ate most of it. Just let me have the rest! You can have mine, an’ you can even use my knife to eat it. Deal?”

“No deal swindler, you destroyed yours by being an idiot. That one is mine, and you can deal with the mess you made of yours!” The smaller man climbed on top of the other, pushing him back against another rock, giving him enough height to reach his pear.

“Awe come on, you’re really gonna be like that? I thought we had somethin’, a real connection here. Mighta even called it l-“

“Can it cowboy. There’s nothing going on here and you’d be a fool to think otherwise.” His tone was serious now as he removed himself from the other’s lap, situating himself back on his rock with pear in hand. He passed him a smirk, and took a large bite from his fruit.

“Nothin’? Not even a little spark or anythin’? After all that? You sayin’ you’re like that with everyone?” McCree picked himself up off the ground and put himself back on his rock, resting his hands in his lap. “Really?”

Hanzo’s expression dropped with that, and he averted his eyes. He didn’t want to admit that this felt different, that he had actually found himself feeling better. What was he supposed to do, just open himself up only for this to end awfully like every time before? That wasn’t going to happen. This would be over soon, like everything else. They would find Genji, he would make amends, and they would go their separate ways. There was nothing lasting about this arrangement like this other man wanted to think. He was going to make the right choice this time and save himself the pain.

“I do not know what you thought was going on here, but I assure you there is nothing to it.” This felt bad. He refused to look back at the other, instead focusing his attention on a clump of weeds that was growing taller than the rest. He felt sick, and guilty, like somehow this wasn’t the right choice this time. He wished they could be at the monastery already.

“If you say so.” McCree didn’t take his eyes off of him, watching him deal with his internal struggle. He felt bad for him, because there was no way he kissed everyone like that. He could tell there was conflict in his heart, but he didn’t know what to do or say to help. He figured all he could do was keep reminding him that he wasn’t up to anything with this, that he didn’t have any ulterior motives, for however long it took him to realize it.

“We should keep walking.” Hanzo stood up and grabbed a bag, throwing it over his shoulder as he turned to walk. He didn’t feel like sitting awkwardly like this any longer than he had to.

“Hey, wait a second.” McCree stood too, a bit slower and in no hurry to grab any bags. Hanzo stopped, taking a deep breath but not turning to face him. “This don’t change anything here, alright? I ain’t gonna turn my back on ya even if that’s how ya really feel. It don’t matter. As long as you don’t hate my guts, I’m gonna be right here for ya. No matter what. I ain’t gainin’ nothin’ from stickin’ around, I just want ta help ya. I want ya to be able to trust me eventually, and stop feelin’ like you got ta run away every time somethin’ nice happens to ya. I care about ya. Please don’t let yourself ignore that.”

Hanzo didn’t know how to respond, or if he even should. His mind couldn’t find a single part to focus on, but he figured all together it was the strangest way someone had ever confessed to him. That is what just happened, right? His mind kept clicking back to the part about trust, that McCree had hoped he would trust him eventually. What was that supposed to mean? He did trust him, he trusted him to lead him to Genji (for the most part), and he trusted him to hike up this mountain with him, this guy even saved his life just a few hours earlier. The sex notwithstanding, this was the closest he’d been to another human since, since Genji. Not including the undesirables he’d given the time of day for a night. Those didn’t count.

“Why do you think I do not trust you?” He felt shaky, anxiety of course. His voice came out muted and weak because of it, but there was really nothing he could do for it. These past few minutes had been taxing.

“Well uh, ‘cause...” McCree moved his tongue around in his mouth, trying to think of how to put that specific feeling into words. He supposed it wasn’t like he felt he outright distrusted him, but like a faint inability to fully trust anyone. He assumed this wasn’t something specific to him, either. “I just feel like, if given the choice between using me for a trust fall and using an iron maiden, you’d probably trust the death trap to catch you first, and feel safer with that choice cause at least you know what it’ll do to ya. I don’t mean that you don’t trust me at all, just not completely. Ya probably still think I’m up to somethin’, and are just waitin’ for me to try an’ screw ya over. Which I ain’t goin’ ta do, but introducin’ myself as a wanted outlaw probably didn’t help my case too much now that I think about it. I’m sorry about that.”

Was it too late now to take back what he said before? Hanzo bit his tongue, and then his lip, still watching the ground and trying to understand what was being said to him. “If given the choice between me and an iron maiden, you’d probably choose the deathtrap because you’d feel safer knowing how it would hurt you.” The truth stung, and he wished it wasn’t so. His life had been a series of putting his trust into people with unknown motives, only for them to find new and inventive ways to break him apart in the end. Friends, family, lovers, it didn’t matter. The only things he put his trust in now were things designed to impair, because at least he knew what to expect from them. It was almost scary at how accurate that statement was.

His mistrust in any capacity had nothing to do with how he introduced himself, nor any action he took since that moment. Mistrust was something he handed out freely to anyone he met, especially smooth-talking men. While he wouldn’t necessarily classify McCree as a smooth-talker at this point, it was certainly part of the initial issue. He came on strong, too strong for comfort, but never took advantage of any situation. It was so easy for Hanzo to think he would want something from him; no one just comes up to him soliciting friendship without aiming to saddle him with debt. This man had continually knocked that aside though, instead indebting himself and then repaying it in the next breath. If there was one thing he was good at, it was building social credit. That was admirable.

He thought about the present circumstances, everything that had gone on just within the past 24 hours. While it was true that he would probably choose an obviously more dangerous route on purpose, Hanzo was sure that this nuisance, no, this ally would stop him and take him down a safer-but-less-traveled road. He seemed nothing if not cautious, but also sincere and inviting. The main reasons Hanzo couldn’t fully distrust him, but the same reasons for why he didn’t want to let himself get too close. This could still be some sort of trap and all, even though his belief in that faded every time he thought about it. It was aggravating that he couldn’t tell what would happen next with this man.

“I actually appreciated that you were so bold as to tell everyone you were a criminal. But you have spent every waking moment after that showing that you are not one, like you want everyone to have low expectations for your behavior so you can impress them by being a decent person. It is interesting.”

“Really? Well like I told ya before, I ain’t done nothin’ illegal. I mean, recently. I used ta only do illegal things, but I’m past that now. Cleaned up my act with Overwatch and now I’m the most stand-up outlaw this side of the States. I guess I just kind of like tellin’ people I’m a wanted man. Weird kind a irony in my opinion ‘cause I ain’t even doin’ anythin’ bad to get the title.” McCree put his hands on his hips and took a solid stance, showing that he was a good guy now and not what the cops wanted him to be.

“I have been thinking that you might be the deathtrap, but someone filled you with foam spikes.”

“Do I look that threatenin’?”

“Not necessarily. Ever since you first spoke to me I have been waiting for you to try something, anything that would bring me any amount of pain. I think I know when it will happen, but then you surprise me by doing something entirely different. I cannot stand it.”

“Can’t stand me bein’ nice to ya? What kind a attitude is that, anyway?”

Hanzo looked back over his shoulder then, getting a look at the other man’s confused face. He figured it would be wasted breath to tell him why he was like this, assuming that he would only tell him he should look at it differently or some garbage. This was already an uncomfortable conversation without eliciting a lecture. He really didn’t know what to say to him about it that wouldn’t sound like he was vying for sympathy, which would never be what he wanted to do. It didn’t seem like the other man was going to settle for his silence though, by the look on his face.

“I told you before, did I not? Everyone always wants something. They are nice to you until you owe them, and then you become an unwilling pawn. I would rather never trust kindness than deal with that.”

“Yeah.” McCree let out a half laugh, half huff at that, and crossed his arms over his chest. “That always seems ta be the way, don’t it? And then gives us actual good guys a hell of a way ta go after they leave. But they can be an easy type to profile, if ya know what you’re lookin’ for.” He flipped a finger out to the side to start counting. “First off, you can ask ‘em their favorite color. Thisn’s too easy, but if they pause and ask you what yours is first, and then excitedly agree with ya, that’s somethin’ to look out for. Now it ain’t sure-fire ‘cause maybe we all like the color red, but you can find a pattern in it. You ask ‘em what else they like, favorite animal, favorite type a food, same concept. Someone who ain’t aimin’ to swindle won’t match your answers consistently.”

He flipped out another finger after that. “Second, they’re always clean. Squeaky clean. Not like they just got out of the shower, but like they ain’t never seen dirt in their life. If they tell ya about their exploits, it’ll be spotless too. They might have a “good faith” killin’ on their record they’ll want to exemplify, an ‘I did somethin’ awful one time but it was for a good reason and everyone held me as a hero afterwards’ sort a crime. They don’t ever, never, say a bad thing about themselves. By every account, they’re the most perfect person to walk on Earth. That’s a good sign to not trust a damn thing they tell ya no matter how much they compliment ya.

“Third, and thisn’s the hardest and even I fuck it up sometimes, they get too close too fast and then claim this is a first for them. Can’t trust a snake like that. I guess sometimes this ain’t so sinister, but for these guys it’s a big part of their manipulation schtick. They make ya feel real comfy around ‘em, never do nothin’ to upset ya and apologize for shit that ain’t no one’s fault. Make it look like they ain’t got as much self-esteem as they originally introduced themselves with. You start feelin’ sorry for ‘em, feelin’ like they’re gettin’ shorted. Most times they’ll start ‘revealin’’ their tragic backstory, about how their mother died giving birth and they ain’t never had a real friend and yeah they said they were really successful but you know most a that was real embellished because they always get the short end and you’re carin’ about ‘em and now out a nowhere you’re suddenly responsible for their well-bein’. And after they get ya hooked with their sob stories and fake personality bullshit they own you. That’s the end. And I been there, and you been there, so I think we can both agree that ain’t the way to go out. That’s when all the shit comes down, and you owe ‘em this that and the other, and if ya don’t wanna do it they got this card they pull where you got ta do it or else, and that’s what I figure you’re thinkin’ on now. They can get people to do all their dirty work, smugglin’ and murder and fraud and just outright exploit ‘em, and there ain’t no sense in that. Swindlers are their own breed of evil, they can take ya for everythin’ you’re worth and make you feel like it was their god-given right to do it.”

McCree settled into himself, returning his fingers to his hand and kicking a foot out for better balance. The other man had just stared at him the whole time he spoke, realizing too late that it wouldn’t have mattered how he responded, he was getting a lecture regardless. Hanzo went over this new information in his head, his eyebrows scrunched together as he thought. He was sure that if there was such an obvious pattern to this sort of thing he would have already noticed it, but perhaps he had been so preoccupied with other things that he just never saw it.

“They can sense when someone is in a disposition to fall for that, can’t they?”

“Yeah. They ain’t goin’ ta try too hard to get someone ta fall for it. They ain’t goin’ ta, say, follow ya halfway around the world or anythin’. They stick to certain places, mainly larger cities where word a mouth don’t work too well. People can’t warn others if no one knows each other, y’know? These guys like ta stay put in one place. They got a place they rent, and people they know who will help perpetrate their stories. Sometimes they’ll travel alone, wanderers, but they still stick to the heavily populated areas. Nightclubs, ritzy bars, places like that. Places they can skip around an’ hit up a lot a people in one night. But they focus on the ones that ain’t havin’ any fun. Easy targets. Especially people who’re alone, or that they can get alone. Harder to swindle someone who’s happy and got a good base of friends, anyway.”

Hanzo breathed, but it did nothing for his tensed muscles. It was so stupid that he had to be told how these people operated, since he had originally been an excellent judge of character and someone that could spot a snake from a mile away. He really must have been severely preoccupied these past years, more so than he ever imagined. He would really have to get out of that hole he dug in his mind.

McCree was right though, and hearing it out loud only made it more apparent. What was also becoming more and more obvious was the fact that this cowboy couldn’t fit the bill any less. Being on the defensive for so many years, and he still couldn’t tell a sincere person from a snake if it smacked him in the face. This was almost embarrassing. This new revelation brought senseless things to the forefront of his mind, though, and he hated that this meant he didn’t have to pretend to not be into this fool. Admitting he was wrong about him was one thing, but admitting that he might actually care about him in any capacity was a totally different thing. He would need some time with that one.

“I suppose it is not your intent, but you continue to aid me. Thank you, again. I will work to stop thinking of you as a criminal.”

“Heh, take your time. We got about two hours till we hit the next town, probably won’t deserve another sit down once we get there since we been sittin’ here for about half an hour, and then we got the whole mountain path ta hike which could take longer than I want it to. Plenty a time ta unthink all those nasty things you keep thinkin’ about me every time I do anythin’, right?”

Hanzo chuckled to himself, and couldn’t argue that that was very close to the truth. It was so much easier to be cynical about every one of their interactions, so it would take actual effort to not default to those coarse thoughts. He figured two hours might be a little short to unlearn a lifetime of cynicism, but he had to start somewhere.

“Alright then, I promise to try. Now, let’s get going before we lose any more daylight. We may not have time to walk up the mountain tonight.”

McCree shrugged in agreement and gave him a grin. After the rain and the bear and the nap and the being behind schedule already, he thought it might not be too awful an idea to set up a camp and walk up that mountain in the morning. Set up a little campfire, and figure out how to pitch these tents, it sounded like a nice end to the day. He gathered up the leftover bags and grabbed his mangled mango, pulling out a knife as he went to join Hanzo. Hopefully the worst of it was over now and they could actually behave like friends. Which, McCree would argue, they were now. Totally friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't help it, have to throw some unfun shit in every time something cute happens. I love to make people suffer in my writing.


	18. Chapter 17 Act 5 Scene 8

The sun was deep into the western sky before they reached the next village. The mountains around them blocked the true horizon, and it was clear that sunset would come earlier here than it did back in the city. Red light glowed off every surface, creating black shadows across the ground. The air was cool, filled with a calm ambiance of assorted bug sounds.

The walk to this point had been relaxed, and the idle talk between the two had passed the time quickly. They were surprised that they reached the next village so fast, but the position of the sun told them that it really hadn’t been as quick as it seemed. The village they would be staying in tonight was in remarkably better condition, but there was no sign of any human habitation. The plants grew tall, and new trees were growing where they would only have room for a couple more years. Large stones and chunks of buildings laid scattered around, starting to accumulate their own vegetation. The main bulk of the buildings were still mostly intact though, and it only took a few moments for the two men to sync their thoughts about that detail.

“Cowboy, are you thinking what I am thinking?”

“I don’t know, I was just thinkin’ a how nice a big piece of fried chicken would be right about now. You like fried chicken?” McCree smiled at the other man, but only got an unamused stare in response. “Oh, you mean about this. Yeah, I’m thinkin’ we break into this joint and find some real shelter. Ain’t no one here ta stop us, and as long as there ain’t some huge pythons nestin’ in there I think we’ll be just dandy.”

“That is more like it.” Hanzo took a look around, and then pointed to a building that still had glass in the windows. “Let us check that one out. Surely the stairs would still be accessible, and there is less of a chance that the wildlife would go to the second floor.”

“Snakes will go anywhere, Han. Even them big ones that don’t look like they would move too well, they find a way.”

“The way you keep talking about snakes sounds like you might be a little scared of them. You are not a chicken, are you?”

“Chicken? I’d rather say I have a healthy respect for anything that can crush me without usin’ any arms and kill me with poison fangs.”

“Venomous, not poisonous. And only the large snakes eat humans. I would not worry too much if I were you, you are a bit too large for any mountain snakes to eat you.”

“Comforting, really. All I’m sayin’ is that I’m gonna take a good minute to check for the little bastards, and then I’ll be fine sleepin’.”

“It is more likely that you will find large mountain spiders than a snake of any importance.”

“If ya don’t want me ta sleep, just tell it to me straight. I ain’t got no love for them guys either.”

“I suppose you don’t want to hear about the scorpions then?” Hanzo grinned up at the other man with that.

“Ok, we are done talking for the next half hour effective immediately. There ain’t no way there’s any scorpions around here anyway.” McCree put a solid hand against Hanzo’s shoulder before starting off toward the building. He hated how easy he was to get bothered with talk like that, and he really wanted to get some sleep tonight. The bus sleep hadn’t been nearly enough for the trek they made today, and the light nap from earlier was interrupted before he could wake up on his own and feel refreshed. There was no way he was going to let anything get in the way of the full night’s sleep he was planning for tonight. Not snakes, or spiders, or even scorpions, which probably didn’t exist in these parts anyway. He thought that it might have been a good idea to educate himself on local wildlife before going on this trip, in hindsight.

“You are right, my mistake. The scorpions are in the city. Carnivorous rats live in the mountains.” Hanzo walked after him, a smile backed with evil still on his lips. “I have heard stories of them eating people’s toes and fingers as they slept, and making nests in their hair.”

“I ain’t hearin’ this, so it ain’t doin’ no good for ya ta keep talkin’ about it. I resolved to myself that I’m gettin’ a good sleep tonight, not gonna think about rats or spiders or poisonous snakes or even constrictor snakes. Not gonna worry about ‘em. Not tonight.”

“Venomous.”

“What?”

“Snakes are venomous. So are spiders.”

“It don’t matter, either way they can kill me with minimal effort.”

“Berries and mushrooms are poisonous.”

“Han, I ain’t gonna remember that nonsense. They can kill me and that’s all that matters.” McCree stood in front of the door to the building, which still looked pretty sturdy despite everything. He tried the handle, which let him know it was locked. Great. Whoever used to live here must have anticipated being able to come back, and locked the door so bandits wouldn’t steal their valuables. Smart.

“What is wrong, you cannot open the door?”

“It’s locked. I’d feel bad just bustin’ it down, and then it probably wouldn’t shut right and it’d let all the animals in. Any ideas?”

Hanzo looked at the doorknob for a minute, thinking of a good way to open the door without breaking the frame entirely so the door could still be shut once they were inside. The easiest way would ultimately be to break the lock, since he wasn’t a locksmith and doubted the other man could pick a lock either. With that thought he dropped the bag off his shoulder, and went through it until he found one of the two knives they had packed.

“This should do the trick.” He flipped open the blade and jammed it into the lock. More force would be necessary than what his hands could manage, so he took a step back before gesturing to McCree. “Hold that where it is and keep your hands clear.”

“What?”

“Do it.”

McCree complied, allowing Hanzo to do what he had planned. Using as much force as he could, he kicked the knife into the lock, creating a sharp crack from the destruction. In the next motion he jerked the knife sideways in the hole, sufficiently unlocking the door.

“There, problem solved.”

“Yeah, but there ain’t no way we can use that knife now.”

“You already have a knife of your own, it isn’t a big loss. It was only about two currency.”

McCree shrugged and pushed open the door, and was immediately hit in the face with the warm smell of antique mold. The light coming through the window illuminated what used to be a small store, but if there was signage outside it was long since destroyed. Shelves were lined with perishables and non-perishables alike, and it was clear that this village had been evacuated as a temporary measure. None of the items seemed to be bought out, like they would be if no one was planning on returning, or if they had been trapped here with no access to the main cities. Whoever owned this place had been fully planning to return in a week.

“Well on the upside we got plenty a food. The downside is I didn’t think ta bring a can opener.” McCree stepped inside, and the floorboards creaked under his feet. The dust was thick, and he fanned a hand in front of his face to disperse it. He moved to give the other man room to come in too, and they stood for a minute to let their eyes adjust to the darkness of inside.

“There should be a door here somewhere, to get us upstairs.” Hanzo wandered around the room, not as focused on finding a door as his words made it seem. He ran a finger through the dust covering the canned goods on one shelf, squinting to read the labels in the dusky light. While he couldn’t read the Nepali text, the pictures of vegetables printed on the labels told him enough. He migrated from the canned vegetables to the stale cereals, and then to the moldy loaves of assorted bread. He put a finger through the dust in every section to read the labels.

“Han, I think you can find just about anything in this place, but I don’t think the door to the top floor is in the snack cakes.” McCree stood over him as he opened a box of chocolate cakes and dumped one into his hand, only to see that it too was covered in mold. He slid it back into the box and replaced the box on the shelf, straightening it like it had never been touched.

“I have not been inside a store in years. They have not seemed to have changed much.” Hanzo pointed to the box he had opened and replaced with a snort. “These things, our father would not let us have anything like this. Genji would sneak them into the house, and we would eat them all at once in the pitch black of his room. Since he could get them in, it was my job to get rid of the evidence. I like thinking of that.”

McCree smiled at him and knelt down beside him. “You got a lot of good memories of bein’ with your brother?”

“Most of them are good memories. We had arguments sometimes, but we got along usually. He was always so happy and full of life, and I loved him for it.” Hanzo wrung his hands together and sighed. “I know he is not like that any longer, and I have only myself to blame for it.”

“Hey, it’s alright. He was still pretty vivacious when I knew him, a real energizer bunny. He changed of his own accord, as far as I’m concerned.”

“I killed him, I made him like he is now. With my own hands, I took the life from him. I will never be able to forgive myself for that. I was stupid, selfish, and-”

“Hey, stop it. Genji is fine, and he’s over it as much as he can be. That’s what’s important, right? He’s the one it hurt, and he’s forgiven you. Stop thinkin’ about it, alright? You’re gonna walk up that mountain in the mornin’ and talk to him like an adult and if you gotta apologize ta make yourself feel better you just do it but I’m tellin’ ya he’s just gonna tell ya he’s fine. Trust me, alright? You’re bein’ a lot harder on yourself than he is on ya and I know that for a fact.” McCree put his arm around the other man, pulling him close and rubbing a thumb against his shoulder. “Just relax. Ain’t no sense in gettin’ worked up over it.”

“I have been trying to prepare some sort of speech for when I see him. Some way to explain everything, to show that I have been trying to do what he instructed and honor him in other ways.”

“How’s that comin’? The honorin’ him in other ways thing?”

“Well...” Hanzo pushed his eyebrows together and bit his lip. “I am not sure what he meant so I doubt I am doing very well. He did not approve of the incense offerings so I stopped doing that.”

“Well he ain’t dead so I can understand that. What else?”

“I started making contributions to certain organizations in Japan, to improve the welfare of people who would have been affected by the clan’s operation.”

“Like donatin’ to the women’s shelter?”

“Orphanages, rehabilitation centers, and the like, yes.”

“Sounds like a pretty good way to be. That been comin’ out well?”

Hanzo sat silent for a while thinking of how best to describe how that had been going. It was just him now, since the rest of the clan was taken out years ago. That left not only his inherited wealth, but also the wealth of the branch families that had once served under the head, at his disposal. With everything, it would be enough for a normal Japanese family to never have to work again for generations, especially if they invested wisely. With that in mind he had started donating to low profile organizations. He wasn’t quite ready for the publicity that a large public donation would garner, so he had hoped what he was doing would be enough. Just last Christmas he had donated enough to one of the larger local orphanages for them to afford gifts and a small party for the children. He even attended himself, to prove to himself just what sort of good this was really doing.

“It seems to be helping, at least from what I have seen firsthand. Money raises morale.”

“They say money don’t buy happiness, but I don’t think that’s true in some cases. For a lot a people, money runs their life. With you givin’ money to them people that need it, of course it’s gonna lift their spirits. It means they’re gonna get better food, or new mattresses, or a new board game to occupy their time. When ya donate to people who need it, you ain’t just givin’ ‘em money. You’re givin’ ‘em hope for a better life, and that’s what really matters. You ever go and hang out with the people you’re givin’ money to?”

“I have been to a few places, but they did not know I was the one who gave them money. I am afraid if anyone knew it was me they would not feel comfortable taking the money, since I am sure most of it was gained illegally.”

“That’s... a fair point. You probably wouldn’t want ta be in the papers for it either, I guess. Well, the point in me askin’ was to see if you noticed ‘em bein’ happier since you donated. Like, goin’ to the homeless shelter and noticin’ that the residents might have all gotten new shoes, or the air smells clean. Small stuff like that that really improves the standard of livin’ for people.”

“I suppose so. I did not know what it was like before I gave them money to compare, though.”

“I get ya. Well you’ve got yourself goin’ on that, but what about steppin’ it up? Like goin’ and volunteerin’ places? Or, I dunno...” McCree put his free hand in the air and tilted his head side to side. “What about tryin’ ta rebrand your name so ya don’t have ta hide?”

“Rebrand?” Hanzo grimaced and gave the other man a pained expression. “You think something like that could actually happen? My clan made its fortune exploiting and killing people. The only good thing we ever did was help the police during the Crisis to keep the Omnics under control.”

“Hell yeah I think it’s possible. Look there, you said it yourself that y’all weren’t all bad. Helpin’ the cops has to mean somethin’, right?”

“It means the police were corrupt enough to be taken advantage of by organized crime.” Hanzo huffed and went back to staring at his hands. “We were the most powerful clan in Okinawa for ages. Our sins are many and the wrongs we committed rest on my shoulders alone now. I am responsible for all the acts my clan committed against the populace. There cannot be any way to be redeemed in the eyes of the public.”

“Well, alright, but I don’t agree with that. If you start publicizing your philanthropy, tippin’ the press off and ‘accidentally’ gettin’ your picture taken plantin’ flowers around a church, the public’ll forget about all that past stuff. I mean, Genji wiped y’all out years ago. Like, if I went back to New Mexico right now and started gettin’ in the papers for bein’ a good guy, ain’t no one around there gonna say, “now hold up that guy used to be big into the Deadlock gang, we can’t trust him.” Nah, the press won’t get too deep into it. They’ll say “former mob boss turns over new leaf, donates to needy citizens and helps rebuild economy with vast fortune.” Trust me on that one. One too many corrupt businessmen get away with shit for bein’ philanthropic for a week.”

Hanzo buried his face in his hands and sighed. If he wanted to pursue that, which he didn’t, he would have to found a business that he could use as a front for his wealth. The clan’s presence slowly vanished all those years ago, but no one investigated it and the authorities never came to collect their funds or weapons. It was like, after everything, it wasn’t important enough to secure those goods or even take control of the properties. He figured that since it was because everything had been going on at the same time as the Crisis, it was just deemed as less important. Knowing that though, he was sure the public would still know that the funds were gained illegally if he just started making a scene out of his wealth one day. Maybe corrupt businessmen in America can get away with that, but a former yakuza in Japan could not.

“I am sure what I am doing is fine. As much as I would like to trust you on that, I do not think it would turn out the same in Japan.”

“Ah, come on! Y’aint even willin’ to try. Tell ya what, after we’re done here with Genji, I’ll help ya figure something out. Better, we can ask Genji what he thinks. You’d listen to him, right?”

Hanzo slumped down and exhaled slowly. He was right, in that he wasn’t all that willing to give this idea a try. And he was right again, in that he would listen to Genji more. It was, after all, Genji he was trying to make amends with. His opinion would definitely have more weight.

“Figured. Well come on, it’s gone and went dark on us in here. That’s just gonna make it harder ta find them snakes and rats and spiders an’ shit.” McCree stood back up with that, shaking his legs out from the awkward sitting position. A little light still came in through the window, but not nearly as much as he would’ve liked. The moon must’ve been fuller tonight.

McCree walked to the back of the store, towards the counter that held the register. He figured that any door leading to more of the place would have to be behind there, or else customers would just walk up to their living quarters any time. He couldn’t see as well back there though, given the placement of the counter in relation to the window. He felt around for a minute before finding what felt to be a doorknob. Jackpot.

Unlike the front door, this door opened without force, only creaking a little. He looked inside, but couldn’t make out anything. He wished someone had thought to bring a flashlight.

“Hey Han, I found it but I can’t see a damn thing. If there’s windows in here they’re all boarded up, so I don’t know what all’s in there.”

Hanzo appeared at his side a moment later, fitting himself between the larger man and the counter behind him. It was true, the other side was pitch black. He might’ve had more of a problem with that than he did if he had been able to sit through Genji’s horror movie marathons. Some things were better left uncompleted. He clicked his tongue, and then took a small cylinder off his belt and flipped it around, revealing it to be a small flashlight. McCree wondered where he had that hid when they walked all those hours in the dark this morning.

“That’s mighty handy, you had that this whole time?” McCree knew the look on his face probably wasn’t very polite, making him thankful for the darkness. They must’ve walked four or five hours this morning just by moonlight. And here he had a flashlight the whole time!

“Of course. I would not be a very good ninja otherwise, would I?” Hanzo ignored the other man’s tone. “We did not have a use for it before. We need it now, so here it is.” He slid past him and through the doorway, illuminating a small room. Inside was a table and a few folding chairs, and a bag of half eaten chips tied tightly with a rubber band. The room was otherwise barren, but well used as seen in the peeling laminate floor. It too smelled of moldy dust.

He turned the light to his left, bringing into view a tall, narrow staircase with a steep incline. It was made entirely of wood, and he knew they would have to watch for places that may have been eaten out by termites.

“That’s an awful small set a stairs, ain’t it?” McCree had moved behind him at some point, still a little upset about this flashlight ordeal. It was obvious these stairs had been made ages ago, and he sulked a little to himself over the fact he would be very cramped going up and down them.

“I am sure you will be fine. They look well-built, and still sturdy. I would still step lightly if I were you, though.” Hanzo turned the light to the top of the stairs, but there wasn’t anything close enough for the light to bounce off of, leaving only a black rectangle. Time to explore upstairs, then.

As the lighter of the two, Hanzo took to the stairs first, stepping gently and testing every creaky board. McCree stayed two steps behind him, stepping where the other did but being careful to not put down his full weight. In his opinion the boards were only creaky, not rotted out, so they were probably safer than what they were preparing for. That being said, the stairs had also been made for a much smaller person, so they might very well break under their weight if they weren’t careful. They eventually reached the top floor, which, for the record, also smelled like antique mold. McCree started to think it might be safer for their lungs to sleep outside, if it was going to be like this.

Hanzo moved the light around the upstairs. They were standing in the middle of a short hallway, which connected the sitting area to the left of them to the kitchen to the right. There were also two doors in the back of the living room, which most likely led to the bathroom and perhaps a bedroom.

They focused their attention on the living room first. There was some sort of large box with a glass front on a wooden stand against the wall, with metal poles sticking out of the top and wires coming out the back. Neither man really knew what that was supposed to be. Across from it sat a weathered couch, covered in holes from a long life of use. A short table sat between them, littered with glossy magazines with pictures of movie stars and bold text. A faded red recliner sat to the left of the couch, complete with a can of soda still in its cupholder. The room was otherwise clean, besides the thick dust that covered everything.

McCree relaxed more as they checked out the kitchen, after seeing that nothing had gotten into anything in the cabinets. Everything was obviously way past the expiration dates and completely inedible, but he couldn’t go into an abandoned house without looking in all their cabinets. No one had looted anything, and there were still bags and boxes that hadn’t been chewed through by mice. He might be able to sleep well tonight after all.

After the short trip to the kitchen, they made their way back to the living room to check out the bonus doors. They opened the one on the left first, since it was closer, revealing a small but shockingly clean bathroom. It had to be the one place in the house that didn’t smell entirely of dry mold, but instead like stale water. McCree flipped the sink on out of curiosity, and was rewarded with a sputter of mud that splashed against the basin, making a mess. The sink should probably stay off from now on.

They returned to the living room after that, deciding that it was time to check the last room. McCree elected himself as the guy to open the door, and did so like he was in a spy movie and there was something secret behind the door. Hanzo repressed a chuckle, realizing that he’s probably done similar things when breaking into other clan’s establishments. It did look kind of silly.

After McCree “snuck” his way into the last room, Hanzo shined the light inside to show a nice sized bedroom, which was messier than any room they had explored thus far. The most surprising thing in this room was that the bed was actually made, since everything else was in shambles. The window was without a curtain, and soda cans filled the small trash can and overflowed onto the floor. Newspapers covered the floor in the far corner, next to a desk that held numerous assorted objects. There were clothes on the floor next to the door in a large pile, and half-eaten dog toys were strung about as well. Neither of them could tell if the clothes were supposed to be clean or not.

“Well out a all the places here, I still think I’d rather sleep in that nice comfy bed surrounded by all this junk than on the holey furniture in the clean room.” McCree walked through the junk to the bed, and threw himself back on it with his arms outstretched. The bed was still springy and soft, despite how many years it must’ve sat up here unused. He wasn’t going to pass this up for anything short of a rat infestation.

“I understand that but... I am sure there is probably some sort of bed bug that has taken up residence in that, since it has been sitting so long. Are you sure that will be clean enough?”

“Han, do you have any idea at all of how long it’s been since I’ve slept in a real bed? Even the smallest idea? I’ll tell you. It’s been so long that I can’t even remember when the last time was. As long as this thing doesn’t have a rat family living in it, it’s clean enough for me.”

Hanzo made his way over to the bed too and lifted up a corner of the blankets to shine his flashlight into. He couldn’t see anything bug related in it, no droppings or moving things or even any holes in the sheets. He figured that if even moths had been in here, there would be more holes than sheets after all these years. Maybe this would be alright to sleep in after all.

“Well then cowboy, are you going to search the place for snakes and spiders? Or do you trust this enough as it is?”

McCree stared at the ceiling, thinking of the kitchen and how there had been no signs of critters at all in there. The spiders would have most likely been in the bathroom, with the water, and they could stay there for all he cared. He wasn’t afraid of anything with how tightly sealed everything seemed to be here. They picked the right house.

“Nah, I think I’m too worn out to be paranoid tonight. If they still get me after we looked through everythin’ and didn’t run into anythin’ nasty, they can have me.” He rolled over to his side to look at the other man, his legs still off the bed but now in a less comfortable position. “I just want ta get a real good night’s sleep for once. It’s still pretty early, the sun’s just set, and I have till dawn to catch up on all my sleep I missed in the past year.”

Hanzo nodded in agreement. This place was comfortable at the very least, and after everything today it would do them good to get to sleep early. After all, tomorrow was sure to be a long day for other reasons. He moved to the other side of the bed and checked under the sheets there too, still uncertain as to how there wasn’t any bugs at all. A real bed did sound pretty nice, relaxing and comfortable in a safe place that didn’t even have rats. He smiled to himself, and sat down on the edge of the bed to start taking his shoes off. And to top it all off, he was going to share this with some guy he met in a bar that he couldn’t imagine being without now. He didn’t know if Genji would be proud or embarrassed of him. He decided that was something for tomorrow, though. He set his things against the wall by the bed, and turned to join the other man. This was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: If you can spare some money, it's always a great idea to donate to local organizations with good reputations. Even a one time $5 donation is helpful if given to the right place! (Agenda pushing over)


	19. Chapter 18 Act 5 Scene 8

McCree woke to the sound of windchimes, and opened his eyes to the early morning sun spilling in through the window. He groaned, rolling to the side and pulling the sheets over his head. He wasn’t quite ready to get out of bed, but the light made it hard for him to fall back to sleep. Sometime during the night, he must have gathered the top sheet around him and pushed off the comforter, and he was starting to regret that. The top sheet was thin enough for the sun to still come through, so hiding under it didn’t do much. He peeked out from under his covers, remembering that there was another man here too, and smiled seeing him next to him.

While McCree had hogged the top sheet, Hanzo had wrapped himself up in the comforter. He had created a warm cocoon around himself with it, with only his head sticking out the top. His face was gentle and soft, still fast asleep. McCree reached a hand out, moving some hair out of his face and brushing a finger against his cheek. His face was warm, and his breathing steady. It was really not time to get out of bed yet.

McCree cuddled up closer to the other man, half using him to block the sun. He put an arm around him, and pressed their foreheads together for added effect. He breathed him in, relishing in this peaceful moment. It almost reminded him of that first night, but this time there was no tension, no anger, and no harsh memories of a time past. If he could just lay here like this, a little longer, he might be able to convince himself that they never had to leave. They could just stay like this forever, no more worries or problems, just peace. Unfortunately, that wasn’t about to happen anytime soon.

“What do you think you are doing, cowboy?”

The contact from the other man had woken Hanzo up, and his hand tightened in the sheets as he glared into the face before him. McCree couldn’t let himself pull too far away though, pulling back just enough to see the other clearly, putting a light grin on his face.

“Just thought we were at that stage, is all. ‘Sides, we already cuddled like this a little before, remember? Ain’t no harm in this, is there?”

“Traditionally, cowboys had a sense of honor and would ask permission before making such advances. Which, I have not given any such permission.”

“Oh come on, we done worse than this just yesterday. And what do you know about cowboys anyway? Can’t ya loosen up for five minutes?” McCree put their foreheads together again, giving the other a small kiss on contact. “Maybe I don’t wanna be like them old cowboys, anyhow.”

Hanzo tensed at that, more because he thought he should than because it called for it. Even after everything, he refused to admit that this was a good thing, good for him, and not going to end in total disaster.

“For your information, I happen to like old cowboys better. I have a mint condition box set of Bonanza, among other things.”

“Oh really? Now that is _old_. I don’t think I ever owned anything that old, them things get pretty expensive after not bein’ produced for a few decades.” McCree kissed him again, but neglected to pull back afterwards, leaving their lips still touching. “You know real cowboys ain’t like them on TV though, right?”

The words no more than left his mouth and Hanzo’s hands were against his chest, pushing against him to no avail, his face red. It wasn’t so much the words, or even the insinuation, but the completely foreign feeling caused by the other speaking so close to him. McCree let out a little chuckle, finding his overreaction cute, but holding him so he couldn’t actually push away just to be mean.

“What’s wrong Pumpkin? Y’aint been lyin’ to yourself about cowboys all this time, have ya? And then ya still give me trouble, sayin’ I’m pickin’ on ya for the wrong reasons.”

“It is not about the cowboys, you cretin. It is,” He let out a soft grunt, irritated by everything and nothing at once. He was really, genuinely, not a morning person, and he wanted to be away from here as soon as possible.

“It’s what? All we’ve been talkin’ about is cowboys, and me doin’ perfectly normal things that make ya want to beat me up. Really don’t know what it is. Thought we were past this point a you wantin’ ta kill me, though.”

“I do not-“ Hanzo forced himself to relax again, knowing that literally nothing cross had been done but that he just wanted to be angry. “I do not want to kill you, and it is not about the cowboys. It was...” It felt dumb now to think that that one little thing had caused such a reaction, and he wasn’t sure he could admit it now. Never in his life had he felt something like that, causing the nerves in his entire body to shudder. That probably wasn’t the desired effect, either. It was just some words spoken close to him, for educational purposes.

“Was it _this_?” McCree returned his lips to touching the other man’s, pulling him close again and letting out a soft laugh against him. Hanzo tried to stop himself from reacting exactly the same as before, but failed. He tried his best to duck his head down, away from this fool, biting his lip and pushing against him again until his injured arm started to hurt again. This wasn’t fair.

“Oh hoh, ain’t that cute. Ain’t no one ever done that to you before?” He only received a snort in response, but that was good enough. He kissed the top of his head and gave him a small squeeze, before letting him go and leaning back away from him. “I’ll keep off ya now if ya want, maybe it’s about time to get up, right?”

Hanzo wasn’t sure if getting up was what he truly wanted, so he laid there and watched the other man get up instead. The air around him was empty without the other literally breathing on him, and he cursed himself for not being able to handle the previous interaction. He had never been good with being close to people, but recently he was starting to feel like he could get better. But that thing? Whatever he did to him? That was cruel. It felt somewhere between good and totally uncalled for, and he figured he liked it more than he wanted to let on. _Dammit._

It didn’t take but a few minutes for McCree to be travel-ready again, having put on his boots (as could be heard by the jingling spurs), putting his belt back on, fixating his hat squarely onto his head, and then sitting back down on the bed with a cigar in hand. He was completely ready before Hanzo had gained the energy to even roll over to get up, but there didn’t seem to be any rush anyway. If he was being honest with himself, Hanzo wasn’t sure he wanted to keep going, with just a little more to go before possibly seeing his brother again.

He wondered about that, thinking on what was waiting for him at the top of that mountain path. Was it Genji, truly? Or was it just that robot monk, and a little monastery? After all this walking he half hoped it would be Genji, but another part of him thought it might be alright if he still hadn’t found him. The more he traveled with this man, the less he felt he could do what he came for when he actually did find his brother, which only brought him anxiety. What if, upon seeing Genji again, he forgot all the words he had rehearsed these past few months? What if he just came face-to-face with that cold unfeeling mask that had replaced his brother’s face, and the anger was reignited in him? Perhaps they could actually talk, and it would feel like it used to. Then what? Genji would most likely not want to come back with him, and he wouldn’t want to stay on this mountain with Genji.

And then there was the matter of this other man. Hanzo returned his focus to him as he lit up a cigar and sat back on the bed, leaning against the headboard. The way he had talked in the cave, he wasn’t going to go his own way after they found Genji. Hanzo wasn’t really sure how he felt about that, since he wasn’t sure where he was going to put him once he got back to Japan. Perhaps it was time to take back control of the Shimada castle, given that he had been staying in a small apartment in Okinawa. The castle was actually in Himeji, where the clan originated before transferring their main operations to Okinawa. Hanzo sighed, thinking of how his family had held a respectable image in Himeji before they were outed as yakuza by an entry level turned nark. It mattered little now, but he thought that it may be easier to be philanthropic like the cowboy had mentioned if he went somewhere other than Okinawa. He would think on that later, he decided. Later, after he saw his brother again.

He rolled himself out of bed, taking his time to re-equip himself. Shoes, sake, hair ribbon, check. He had slept in everything else, so now he was pretty much set. He turned to McCree right as the other finished his cigar, and watched him snuff it out in a decorative bowl on the night stand before dropping the butt into it. It was truly a good thing that this place was completely abandoned.

They holstered their weapons together, and after putting back on the bags they had left on the floor, they made their way back outside. Before they got through the small store though, McCree confiscated as much canned food as he could fit between the bags, which turned out to be quite a lot. Once they were finally back outside in the clean air, they found themselves a nice place to sit to have some breakfast.

“I thought you were not going to take the cans, something about needing a can opener?” Hanzo pulled out a handful of granola bars, specifically picking out the ones with fruits in them. It was a little too early for the ones dipped in chocolate.

“Well I got ta thinkin’ about it, and I figured I could find a way ta open them things with a knife as much as I wanted green beans. Maybe we make us a fire, cook ‘em in the can, be a right nice lunch and wouldn’t cost a dime.” McCree had taken control of the bread, peeling the crust off and tossing it to the ground so he could eat the soft inside.

“Do you have something to hold said can over the fire with?” Hanzo gestured in front of them, communicating that they hadn’t brought anything to hold things over fires with.

“Figured I’d just use my hand.” He received a worried look in response, prompting him to hold up his robotic hand. “This one, not the other.”

“I was not aware they made those to withstand direct fire.” Hanzo finished the first granola bar and moved onto a second one with that.

“Well, I don’t know that much about ‘em myself, but the lady who give this one to me said it was heat resistant up to a thousand degrees. I don’t think that’ll ever be relevant, but I guess a campfire ain’t that hot since it hasn’t failed me yet.” McCree finished up the bread he had been working on and pulled the bag of jerky out. He had had enough of the fruits for the time being, and was starting to miss his meats.

“I see.”

The conversation ended there, and the two men sat eating their breakfast in silence afterwards. The sun had just risen maybe an hour and a half prior, which would make it about 7:30. It might take them another 15 or so minutes to find the base of the mountain path, and then the rest was unknown. Kan hadn’t told them how far up the monastery was, so Hanzo wasn’t able to calculate how long it would take to get there when they had started out. He had thought of figuring it while they were on break several times, but the anxiety of what may or may not exist at the top had led him to making excuses as to why it didn’t matter. They would get there when they got there, he figured, and that was just fine with him.

They finished their breakfast after a few minutes and started getting up to continue walking. The leftovers were returned to the bag, and the bags returned to their backs. Hanzo took a quick look at the localized map for the village, and after deciding it had been for this village all along and not the other, found the best route to the base of the mountain path. He wasn’t sure how Kan had managed to confuse this village with the other, but he was glad they at least had known the right name when grabbing the localized map. After another minute they were off again, headed toward the north end of town in search of a passable route to this fabled monastery.

It didn’t take long to find the path, found easily by how immaculate it was compared to the surrounding area. A clean dirt path wound up the mountain, lined with large and small rocks alike. The way the rocks were laid looked like someone had just picked them up out of the path and set them perfectly along the sides, as if that’s where they were supposed to be. McCree made a half-assed comment about how they must’ve just fallen that way, but Hanzo was filled with unease over there being someone here who could lift those huge boulders and move them aside. He couldn’t help but think that they had been moved specifically for them, like someone had foreseen their coming and cleared the path for them. He wasn’t sure he cared much for that thought, and threw it out as soon as he could.

They started up the path after that, McCree in the lead and Hanzo a pace behind him. This part was steeper than the rest they had climbed, and it was obvious that this was the true start of the mountain. The path itself was easy to traverse, but the higher it wound, the sharper the cliffs to the right became. Neither man volunteered to go look over the edge, choosing instead to walk as close to the wall on the left as they could. Time felt distorted the more they walked, and at some points the path curved almost back in the direction they came. McCree noted that it felt like they had just been walking in circles, but Hanzo assured him that it was probably more akin to a spiral, and they were still going higher. He followed this up by pointing over to the cliff that was now to their left, and saying the path they had been on is down there now instead.

The longer they walked, the more apparent the air pressure changes were. They decided they must’ve been walking for a couple hours now, and they could only guess at how high they must be. McCree pulled out the larger map after a bit, and was surprised to see that the path was really not that long and that they should be there any minute. He had no more than mentioned that reality though, when Hanzo elected to take a small break.

“What’s wrong, we have ta be almost there. Maybe another mile or so, and we’ll be right on their doorstep. You really want ta take a break this close?”

“Yes, I would like to.” Hanzo dropped his bag to the ground and sat against the rocks lining the path, sighing and resting his head against his knees. McCree joined him after a short minute, putting his arm around him and patting his shoulder.

“Just gettin’ a little tired? Want some water?” He fished in the bag for some water, and held it out to the other man.

“Neither. I just wanted to sit down.” Despite his words, Hanzo took the water from him, taking the lid off before just staring at it.

He wasn’t tired at all from the hike, but maybe he was a little thirsty. The main thing though, was that he was anxious. What did McCree say? Another mile or so, and they would be there. He was definitely not ready for that reality. They would get there, and he would have a limited amount of time to get himself prepared enough to knock on the door. And then someone would answer it, and he wasn’t ready for that. Who would answer it? The robot monk himself? One of his disciples? Or, would it be Genji? He didn’t know which was worse. It might be easier to speak to a disciple, but they may not have the authority to let him in. If he was greeted by the head monk himself, he might not be able to convey what he came for appropriately and be turned away for not being holy enough, or something. And then, Genji. If Genji greeted him, that could possibly be the worst. He could feel himself losing the ability to speak coherently just thinking about that, so he figured he would rather speak to anyone else. Anyone would be easier to speak to than him.

At some point he had moved the bottle of water to his mouth, but still sat staring into space. McCree readjusting the way he was sitting brought him slightly back to reality, and he looked over to him for no conscious reason. They just looked at each other for a good while, neither one sure why they were doing it, but Hanzo clearly more mentally lost than the other man.

“You alright there Han?”

“Yes, I am just...” He went back to staring out over the cliff, past the perfectly lined rocks and into the pointed trees beyond. Everything was so peaceful outside of his head, but inside, inside everything was a mess. He was more than a little anxious, bordering on scared, over the thought of seeing his brother. The last two times they had met had been in hostility, and all he wanted was for that to not happen a third.

“You’re worried, ain’t ya? Worried about Genji, what he’s gonna say, how he’s gonna act when he sees ya. I get it. And you’re worried what you’re gonna do, if you’re still gonna be real angry with him, or if you can talk to him like ya want to. Well, ya don’t gotta worry none, alright?” McCree pulled the other closer with the arm that was around him, patting his shoulder. “You got me here with ya, alright? Me and him, we have history. I told ya we was partners, so I feel confident that nothin’ll happen. If you start feelin’ hostile, I’ll hold ya back. If he starts tryin’ ta pull some shit, I’ll hold him back too. Worse comes ta worse, I’ll still be there ta mediate it all. No sense in worryin’ over anythin’.”

Hanzo took a deep breath as he finished, finally pulling himself out of his zoned-out state. He took a good drink of the water since it was there, and it was surprisingly more refreshing than he had anticipated. Maybe this cowboy was right, maybe there wasn’t anything to worry about. Genji might not even be there anyway, he told himself. Yeah, why was he worrying? He had searched so many other places looking for his brother, and come up empty handed every time. Why would this be any different at all?

“We should keep going now.” Hanzo picked himself off the ground after that, replacing the lid on the water before tossing it back into the bag. He waited for McCree to get up as well, and afterwards, they resumed walking.

They continued walking for a while, Hanzo putting himself ahead of McCree now that he was feeling more relaxed about the situation. The path looked the same no matter how far they went, the same clean dirt path perfectly lined with stones and boulders. They figured they had been walking for about an hour, when they suddenly found themselves on the lower bank of a clearing filled with small wooden buildings.

This had to be their final destination. They gave each other a knowing look, and McCree gestured for Hanzo to precede him toward the monastery. They followed the remainder of the path as it curved up and into the space between the buildings, and it was clear which one they should approach. A large building sat to the back, markedly different from the rest despite sharing the same worn red paint and decorations. They both approached the large door, McCree standing further back to allow Hanzo to do what he came for. Hanzo went back and forth with himself about knocking, still fighting that anxiety borne from the fact that Genji could be right behind that door. He lifted a hand, half tempted to put it back down and forget about all of this. He looked back to McCree, who gave him a nod, and he let his knuckles rap against the door.

Nothing happened. Everything was quiet, and no footsteps could be heard within. Hanzo let out his breath that he had been holding, and chuckled to himself for all the worrying he had been doing. He should’ve expected this, no one is here, especially not Genji. He was actually kind of relieved.

He kicked a foot out as he turned back to face the other man, a half smile on his face. McCree threw up his hands in response, letting out a chuckle of his own. They both just stood there, not entirely sure what to do now that they had reached the end and found it to be dead. Hanzo kicked the dirt at his feet, and took a step forward as the door he had just knocked on popped open. Hearing it open, he half turned back around, and his breath caught in his throat instantly at the sight of a ghost in the doorway.

“Aniki? What are you doing here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaa Genjo
> 
> Note: Aniki is Japanese slang for "older brother," mainly used for delinquents or higher ranked men in yakuza.


	20. CH 19 Act 6 Scene 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw/ pedophilia mention. It's like one line they don't talk about it past then because I can't dwell on it as a survivor, but Hanzo does mention it. So sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! This is the start of all the new stuff I came up with. This first addition isn't much different than the original, besides some minor fixes. Don't get too comfortable, because I have more yelling planned.

“Aniki? What are you doing here?”

The voice was clear, but the way the words were said sounded almost like an upset child. It belonged to a man, with only his face showing his true age. The rest of him was robotic, a metal and silicone body built for a man 10 years younger. He was draped in a shawl, an ugly brown thing that came down to his knees in the back. Despite all of this, Hanzo knew exactly who he was: this was worst case scenario.

Hanzo stood stagnant, only half turned to look at the ghost of his brother behind him. Genji stood still too, one hand holding the door open and his mouth slightly open with every possible emotion written on his face at once. The tension between them was thick and pronounced, to the point where even McCree could feel it from several yards away. Time had essentially stopped between the two of them.

“I...” Genji spoke again in Hanzo's silence, after composing himself enough to do so. He stepped outside fully then, letting go of the door to allow it to swing shut behind him. He forced a smile, shaking his head slightly as he loosened the rest of his body. “Long time no see, right?”

“Yes...” Hanzo allowed himself to turn to face him, but he was too tense to shake himself out as his brother had done. He was still wary, unsure of what to expect from his brother. He didn’t seem upset to see him, but more shocked and confused as to why he was there in the first place, and Hanzo wasn’t sure what that meant for him.

“Is that...? McCree? Jesse McCree?” Genji craned his neck to see around Hanzo, and was met with a wave from the third man. Genji turned back to his brother with a grin, shrugging and shaking his head. “How the hell did you two end up together?” He glanced back over at McCree to double check his vision, having noted the bare chest but not registering it the first time. “Nevermind, I don’t think I want to know. What happened to your shirt Jess? Do I want to know that one?”

“Well we met in a Houston bar after my good friend here tried to drown himself in whiskey, and we got set upon by a giant bear yesterday so I had ta use my shirt for that. We ain’t done nothin’ you wouldn’t want ta hear about, so don’t go flippin’ out on me.” McCree talked as he walked closer to them, putting his hands up at the end. He stopped a few feet away, still trying to give the brothers their space.

“Oh, alright, that sounds...” Genji trailed off as he looked the two over, shifting to a confused face again. “Where?”

It took the other two a minute to understand what the issue was, but as soon as Hanzo realized, he dropped his sleeve to reveal their handiwork. Genji rolled his eyes, rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

“Did neither of you think to bring any medical supplies? Not even a lighter to cauterize the wound? I mean, I believe it from you Jess, but really Hanzo? Really?”

The mention of the lighter reminded Hanzo of the time in the market the other day, and the fact that some insufferable cowboy had insisted they get three lighters for distinct purposes. One of which, was in case of injury. Somehow they had both forgotten that in the heat of the moment, and it took Genji reminding them to remember that. Great job, really.

“I didn’t even think a the lighter...” McCree spoke in a half whisper, his hands over his face and his head pointed straight at the ground. Hanzo just stood with his arms crossed, trying to mentally excuse himself from this and put all the blame on the other. It probably wasn’t fair, but it hadn’t been his idea to pack three separate lighters.

“You’re joking, right? You let my brother get attacked by a bear and then _forget_ that you brought a lighter?! Jess! Seriously! You smoke like a chimney! How do you forget you have a lighter?!” Genji focused his attention back on his brother, relaxing again and opening his arms to him. “I’m sorry he’s like that, Master Zenyatta would be happy to heal that for you. Would you like to come inside?”

Hanzo adopted a concerned look, not entirely directed at his brother. This seemed too... Normal? The last time he had seen Genji, his brother had put on a cocky display and left without giving him a chance to speak to him like an adult. And now he was here, sticking up for him against the cowboy that didn’t mean to do anything wrong, and also inviting him inside to be healed. This time was so much more like the old days, Genji being kind and considerate and warm, and this couldn’t be further from what Hanzo had expected from him. Now he didn’t know what to expect, but the only option seemed to be to follow him inside.

“Inside would be nice, yes.”

Genji spun back around to the door, gesturing over his shoulder for the other two to follow him. In the next instant he was through the door, which lead into a decent sized room. The lighting was much dimmer here, with only a single light in the middle of the room and candles surrounding a statue at the far end. Genji didn’t stop at this room though, instead turning to the right and leading them down a narrow hallway, then a sharp left at the end, and finally into a small room that lacked a door. Inside sat an Omnic, cross-legged on the floor, deep into his meditation. Genji motioned for the others to stay outside, going in to sit across from him and adopting the same pose. He had only been there a couple moments when the Omnic came out of his meditation. He then turned to greet the visitors.

“Welcome, visitors, to Shambali. I am Zenyatta, the head monk at this monastery. Genji has told me much about you both.” The Omnic didn’t get up, per say, but gently floated up to be at the level of the other two. Genji stood up with him, a firm air of discipline surrounding him now.

“Are you going to heal me, then?” Hanzo hadn’t come here to meet this Omnic, so he hoped he would just heal him and then he could speak with his brother.

“Ah, an impatient one. My Sparrow was impatient when he first came to me as well. You did not come all the way up this mountain for that though, or even for me or my teachings. Your path lies elsewhere, and this is merely a stepping stone to get there.”

“Listen, I-” Hanzo started to speak, but Zenyatta held up a hand to silence him. The Omnic gestured to his arm, and without any further instruction Hanzo revealed it for him. Zenyatta moved one of the orbs from around his neck to the injury, and in an instant it was whole again.

“You did not come for my lessons, although I am sure you would benefit from them as my Sparrow has. I can sense discord in your heart. Rigorous meditation would do much good.”

“I am fine, thank you. I just came to speak with my brother. I am doing fine as I am.” Hanzo replaced his sleeve and made to leave, shoving McCree’s shirt against its owner’s chest as he went.

“He really ain’t doin’ fine, y’know.”

“Shut up cowboy, I have no use for a holy man. Genji, let us talk elsewhere.”

“Hanzo, please do not discount what he has to offer. We all know you are in pain, he can help. Please, brother.” Genji’s speech had shifted to something stiffer, as opposed to the relaxed way he spoke to them outside.

“I wonder who put me in so much pain. I came to make amends with you, not be lectured by some robotic monk.” Hanzo pushed his way past McCree, who had been attempting to block the door, and headed back into the hallway to wait for Genji.

“You’ll have ta excuse him, Mr. Zenyatta. He ain’t good with strangers, or people in general really. It takes a little while for him ta warm up ta people.” McCree shook his shirt out to look at it, frowning at the fact that it was more blood than cloth now. He balled it back up again after that, sticking it between the bag he was carrying and his back.

“I understand. Not everyone is open to our way of life, or even our teachings. Self-realization in this form is not for everyone. He must find his own path, in his own way. I am hopeful that he will figure it out in time. We should not worry for him, but support him in his endeavors.”

“Master, we have spoken of him before. I do not think he will find a good path on his own. When I went to see him before, he was letting himself waste away in his mistakes. When I spoke to him, he preferred death over redemption.”

“Sparrow, one cannot instruct another on how to live. The choice must be a personal one, that is made internally by oneself. Providing guidance through difficult times is the limit to our assistance. If he listens, or if he refuses to, is none of our concern. You came to me of your own accord, to choose your path for yourself. It is not wise to rob someone else of their choice in which path to follow just because you have found a path that improves you.”

Genji sighed, half frustrated that he couldn’t just grab his brother by the shoulders and force him to be better, to feel better. Zenyatta’s training had helped him with his issues over his new body, and had allowed him to mature and grow as a person in ways he wouldn’t have dreamed ten years ago. Certainly somewhere in Zenyatta’s teachings there was something to benefit his brother, something that would get him back on track, something that would ease his mental instability. But Zenyatta was right, that was not something Genji could choose for him. He could give suggestions, but could never tell him what to do. _An antidote to one man, is poison to another_ , as Zenyatta would say. It was just so painful to watch his brother suffer as he was.

“Can I uh, say somethin’?” McCree didn’t want to interrupt this conversation, but he thought he might have some information that could help. After receiving an approving gesture from the monk, he went ahead. “Last night we, me an’ Han, we was talkin’ about that redemption stuff. An’ he told me he was doin’ stuff, bein’ a good guy, at least tryin’ to, since the last time you came to see him. He said he’s been donatin’ to orphanages an’ stuff, but he really don’t know if that’s what ya want him to be doin’. That’s somethin’ he wanted ta talk to ya about, was other stuff he could do that would make ya happy. I gave some suggestions myself, but he really needs ta hear it from you.”

“He’s been doing things like that? I didn’t think he would actually do anything...” Genji looked down to the floor, disappointed in himself for doubting his brother. He figured he had a good reason though, since this was the same brother that had tried to kill him with barely any provocation so long ago. But this was also the brother who loved him, and had done what he thought he should to honor him after everything, instead of moving on as if he had never had a brother in the first place. There was a lot they needed to talk about, and that was only becoming more apparent.

“Master, I am sorry to ask this, but would you mind showing McCree to a spare room? I have something to take care of.”

Zenyatta lit up at the question, the orbs floating around his neck glowing, and he gestured to McCree to come further into the room. McCree complied, and unloaded his bags on the floor by the door. 

“I would be most honored, Sparrow. Please, go and speak to him. I will keep this one entertained until you are done.” Zenyatta floated back down to the floor, gesturing to McCree again to invite him to join him on the floor. Genji made his way out at the same time, going back the direction they came from to find his brother.

Genji went back to the shrine room, figuring that he must have gone back outside. He threw a quick glance into the room anyway though, and almost missed his brother standing before the large gold sculpture at the far end. He had set his things down by the door, even his bow and arrows, which had made it harder for Genji to notice him. He was just standing before the statue, arms crossed, as if he was in an art gallery and this was the main piece. Genji came to his side and also looked toward the statue, but there wasn’t anything there he hadn’t fully analyzed years ago.

“Aniki, you said you wanted to talk to me, right? Is this place alright?”

“What is this supposed to be?” Hanzo gestured to the statue, still trying to delay the inevitable. He came here to talk, but he didn’t have any idea where to start. There was so much he wanted to say, so much frustration to let out, but none of it was a conversation starter. This small talk would have to do.

“The idol? It’s the goddess Lakshmi. She’s the goddess of fortune and well-being. We have another of Saraswati on the other side, that we worship when we go to learn. They’re Hindu goddesses.”

“Are you Hindu now?”

“Not really, but sort of. I just follow Master Zenyatta’s teachings, which is an offshoot of Hinduism, I think. I’m not really sure.” Genji knew what his brother must be thinking about all this, that he couldn’t believe that playboy Genji had become religious. The truth was, Master Zenyatta’s teachings weren’t really a religion, but a lifestyle. The idols were more of a lucky charm for most of the disciples at this point, that you could pray to if you wanted, but it wasn’t required. It was admittedly a little more complex to explain it to an outsider than to someone who wanted to be part of it.

“I see.” The conversation seemed finished before it had really started, and Hanzo wished he had something else to add. He didn’t want to be condescending about his brother’s new religion, but it seemed a little out of place considering this was Genji, so he just stayed silent.

“So, Jesse said you’ve been trying to do stuff, huh? He said you donated to the orphanage. I think that’s pretty cool.” Genji was used to forcing conversation with his brother, though, and could think of a lot of stuff to talk about. He figured it wouldn’t take much, a little push here, a little prod there, and Hanzo would start talking about whatever it was he needed to say.

“Yes, I did. They seemed very happy to get dirty money.”

“How dirty it was didn’t matter, you know? You gave those kids so much that they wouldn’t have dreamed of before, and you probably made them really happy. Doesn’t that feel good? Better than killing people, right?”

“I suppose so. They had no idea it was me though. I am most likely the one that made them orphans to begin with.”

“Hanzo, that is literally not the point. See, dwelling on past mistakes just makes it worse. You should try like this, ‘yeah, I’ve done bad things in my life, really bad things. But I’ve realized that those are bad things, and now I’m going to be a better person and do good things.’ And then you do the good things, and make people happy. Especially if the people you’re making happy are the ones you hurt before. Does that make sense?”

“I just do not see the point when, as soon as it is found out that I am the one doing the good things, people will stop seeing them as good things because I have done the bad things in the past.”

“Well, honestly, the people who think like that don’t matter. Most people want to believe bad people can be good people if given a chance. And, you have a chance. I know you, Hanzo. I know you’re a good person underneath everything the clan put on you. I know it’s Father’s fault you’re like this, so cold and cruel. And you don’t have to be like that anymore! The clan is gone, Father is gone, there’s no one to tell you to hurt people anymore. It’s over!”

“Genji, I enjoyed my work. I loved training with Father, I begged for that privilege. I killed because it was necessary, because there were other clans who would come to our properties and kill our family. We did not ever start the violence. Our weapons and training were to protect clients, initially.” Hanzo took a breath to steady himself, and then turned to face his brother. “There is so much about our family that you never knew, because you refused to trust me and our father. We were not originally criminals, brother. Something destroyed our family from within, drove the elders to promote violence and crime. Something corrupted us, and then we became yakuza. We were just ninja before. Ninja, who owned half of Himeji, who moved our security business to Okinawa, who became a full branch of yakuza due to something out of our father’s control. I have tried to tell you this before, but you would not listen. Father did nothing wrong, and yet the snake that befouled our family took his life so they could run us into the ground. It was probably the same snake that killed our mother, and convinced the elders to wage war on other clans without Father’s permission.”

“They really had you fooled, didn’t they brother? And they still do, they have you wrapped around their finger from the grave! The whole family was a criminal enterprise, Hanzo. It wasn’t a snake that killed our mother, it was Father. And I was the snake that killed him, for that, and for all the shit he put you through. Open your eyes, Hanzo.”

“What?!” Hanzo was sure he was hearing things. Did Genji just say that he was the one who killed their father? That couldn’t be right, since he left because he didn’t want to kill anyone. And accusing their father of killing their mother, and for putting him through what? He had asked to be part of the training, he had begged to be trained like the men, much to his father’s disdain. “Father never hurt me, Genji. Father never hurt anyone in the family. You claim he killed our mother, but what do you have to support that? To support any of your claims? Father loved her, and he loved us. Where do you come off with this?” Hanzo couldn’t keep his voice steady, suddenly upset over things he had tried to get over years ago with the feeling that his mind was leaving back again.

“Really?” Genji smirked, that cocky smirk he donned when he knew he was right. “Uncle told me. After mother was killed, he came to talk to me. He said that he saw Father do it, and told me exactly how he did it. And then? After the investigation was done, the elders produced the same information, albeit leaving out that father had done it. They ‘couldn’t say’ who did it, as if it would be that hard to figure. If you recall, Uncle didn’t testify for it. He knew it would be a big deal if he pointed the finger at our father. That’s where I come off with this.” Genji’s tone was solid as compared to his brother's, with him being sure of himself on this point.

“Uncle...”

Hanzo averted his eyes from his brother’s, looking toward the floor a few feet away instead. Just the mention of that man could bring back so many awful memories, none of which Genji knew anything about. He had never told anyone about the times when it happened, and he really didn’t want to bring it up now either.

“Genji, our father was devastated by the death of our mother. I had never seen him cry before, and especially not like that. And you are telling me you trust that scum over him? Father always supported me. He is not the reason I am like this. Uncle and the elders are.”

Genji’s face dropped from his cocky expression, shifting to a disgustedly wary look instead.

“Uncle is the one who wouldn’t hurt anyone. He was always on my side when I chose to not carry out assassinations, since he never would either. He was the good guy. Father beat you, and left all those marks on you. Don’t you remember? He would make you train with the older men, and not let you leave if you were still able to stand. I’m talking about that guy.”

“I suppose from your perspective that looked bad.” Hanzo let out a heavy sigh, looking back up to his brother. “I do not want to talk about this, but you do not have any idea, do you? About me, about everything. You were too young, you do not remember who I used to be. I suppose that is something the cowboy has over you, now.” He laughed a little at that, that there was something about him his brother didn’t know but someone else did. And that that someone wasn’t related to him in any capacity.

“Who you used to be, you mean before they made you like that? Yeah, I remember. We used to actually be friends, and you’d actually talk to me. I didn’t forget that.” Genji was getting a little annoyed, especially at the insinuation that Jesse McCree knew something about his brother that he didn’t. Well that couldn’t be further from the truth, he knew that much. No one knew more about his brother than he did, even though that wasn’t true in the opposite way.

“No, before that. I think you were about five, or six. Back then you had an older sister, named Umi. Do you remember her?”

Genji stared at him, not sure where this was going. Of course he didn’t remember having a sister, because if he had one, she should still be here. And he hadn’t heard anything about a sister dying, either. What was Hanzo on about now?

“She stopped existing around that time, so I am sure you have never heard of her. She wanted to be someone else, and her father allowed it. He gave her a new name, and that is the one you know her by now. Do you understand? She is me, and only a few people knew that secret. All of them are dead now, thanks to the combined efforts of you and I and whoever killed our mother. I suppose now though you know, and that bandit that brought me here.”

“Yeah okay, alright, given that this is true, since it’s pretty out there, why the hell would Jesse know about that?” Genji asked the question before he attempted to think it through, but as soon as he was finished he realized there could only be one way.

“I thought you did not want to know? We had sex, it was good, and that is all I am willing to say on it. I am sure you are disgusted, and I do not blame you. If you do not believe my story though, you can feel free to ask him about it.”

Genji squished his cheeks together with his hands, pushing the air he had been holding out through his lips. He wasn’t sure what to think, or if he had any right to say anything on the matter. It was one thing that this secret had been kept from him his whole life, but an entirely worse thing that his best friend had done that sort of thing with his brother, especially since he had to have known that he was in fact his brother. There had to be something in the bro code about this, and he was going to find it. Later though, because now he just had a pile of other questions he wasn’t sure he wanted the answers to.

“So, if Father didn’t kill mother, and wasn’t the one who destroyed you, then...”

“Uncle. He was the only one who knew how she was killed before the report was made, so he is the prime suspect at this point. Not that it matters now, because I killed him before Father was killed.”

“You killed him? Everyone kept saying it was a clan hit, that he was taken out by a hostess that just vanished afterwards. Why did you-?”

“I do not want to talk about this either. I am going to be honest with you, though. After everything, I think keeping secrets like this directly led to what happened to our family, and between us. I do not want there to be any secrets anymore. Uncle abused me, terribly. He was a disgusting pedophile, and forced me to do what he asked until the moment he died. I killed him because I felt I had no other choice, because that night I was sure he was going to kill me. I will not go into any more details, but he was able to get away with it through manipulation. The night I killed him, I returned home and informed Father, knowing I would be severely punished. Father took me outside, and drew his katana. I was sure he was going to kill me for it. Instead, he cut off my hair, because the police would be looking for a long-haired woman, not a short-haired boy. That is how Father was, and that is everything I never told you.”

Genji watched as his brother talked, becoming more confused about everything he thought he knew. This seemed too bad to be true, something you would read in a novel about a character whose entire personality was built around being edgy. This couldn’t have been something that really happened though, stuff like that didn’t really happen, right? And it definitely couldn’t have happened to his brother, no, his brother was too strong for that. But here it was, straight from the horse’s mouth, and he knew his brother had no reason to lie to him. Not now, not after everything they had been through. Genji could feel himself tremble, shaking his head the smallest bit, suddenly cold despite his warm metal body. How could he not have seen this happening? How could this have been hidden from him, from everyone, for so long? How could he have been so easily fooled by their uncle into thinking that he wasn’t capable of this? This was so wrong, so twisted, but for some reason it all made sense. All the pieces were there, and they all fit together. Father pushing Hanzo to be stronger to the point he collapsed, all because he was trying to help him be as strong as the other men. His brother becoming more and more reclusive the older he got, because of everything their uncle had done to him since he was a kid. Everything made so much more sense now, and he hated it. He hated that after everything, he hadn’t known any of that about his brother, and he left him after murdering the one person that support him.

_Dammit, everything is a fucking mess._


	21. CH 20 Act 6 Scene 2

“Okay, so you want me to believe that the clan was originally a company?”

“Yes.”

“And that because we were too good at what we were doing, actual yakuza started coming after us, pushing us to also be yakuza to fight them off?”

“Something like that.”

“But we were always ninja.”

“Yes.”

“Why the hell were we ninja if we weren’t doing something illegal?”

“We were running a security business, Genji.”

“So where does the ninja training come in? For us, not just the men.”

“I cannot really tell why it was started, but from what I know it seemed like a tradition. The Shimada had always been ninja, and we just never stopped training. Also, being a ninja gave us access to certain things.”

“Certain, illegal things.”

“Correct.”

“Certain illegal things that made legally purchasing half the city possible?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck, and here I thought my training was just to impress women.” Genji laughed at that.

The two of them had taken seats on the floor at some point, sitting across from each other with Lakshmi watching over them. After dumping their secrets on the ground for each other, the next step had been clear. Filling in all the blanks would put them both on the same page, and like anything, it was best to start from the beginning. Genji elected to ask his questions first, and Hanzo agreed his would be better placed afterwards. They both had too many questions, but fortunately there was plenty of time for them.

“I am sure anything you did was for the express purpose of pleasing women.” Hanzo smiled back at him. “Being a bachelor suited you, I hardly recognize you now that you are hanging out with monks. Celibacy?”

“Oh, no way. I’ll tell you about it later. Me first right?”

“You asked some, it is my turn.”

“I wasn’t done!” Genji smacked his hands on his knees, giving his brother a grin. “Okay, so we were only a little bit criminal, all ninjas, entrepreneurs, and only yakuza at the end because we had to. So why did we have the setup we had? With the elders, and the patriarch, and the branch families, and all that classic yakuza stuff?”

“Those were all built. The elders had always been there, Father’s aunts and uncles, telling him how to run his life like elder people like to do. They were replaced as they passed away, by other old people who knew nothing about modern times. You know the way. The patriarch, all families have those, not just yakuza. They just are not called that. That title came naturally to our father, of course. And the branch families were developed during our lifetimes. It is not hard to convince smaller yakuza families to join an operation as rich and powerful as ours. Most of our dirty money came from the branches, since they did more illegal things than we did. And then more dirty money from when the elders started pushing us to be bigger criminals.”

“Alright, that makes sense. So you were doing what Father was doing, trying to keep us out of trouble with the law and everyone else?”

“I... I guess so. Once I was old enough to help with the business, the Crisis had already started. I was only 8 when the Crisis began, which was also about the time I... Became myself more. Father was doing what he needed to in that regard, but I’m not sure what it entailed. When I was old enough to have a say in anything, the Crisis was winding down. But then everything went to Hell, with mother being killed, and then Father, and then I had to deal with you, and I could not. Genji, Everything was falling apart, everyone I cared about was dead besides you, and then you left me too. Genji...” Hanzo lowered his head, feeling too sentimental to look Genji in the face any longer.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Everything was a mess, and the elders kept telling me I had to either kill innocent people or kill myself, and you know what? I didn’t want that.”

“I was not aware they were doing that either...”

“Yeah, they would call me in, sit me down, and show me a picture of some lady and say ‘This is your target. She has to die.’ And I’d just take the picture, make out like I was real serious about it, but as soon as I was out of there I’d rip it up and burn it. No way was I going to do that. It was always ladies, real pretty ones. Like Hell that was going to happen. Then of course they knew I didn’t do it, so they’d say they were giving me another chance, hand me another lady to kill. ‘If you don’t take out this target, don’t come home.’ Bet they didn’t think I’d actually not come home after that, though.”

“That is why you ran off that time, when I came to find you. I wish I had known they were pulling that on you, although I doubt it would have prevented the rest from happening. I am sure I still would have asked you to come back with me.”

“Sorry, but I couldn’t come back. I tried to make that clear, but I guess they had gotten to you too much by that point. I mean, I really didn’t expect you to try to actually kill me though. I thought we’d just fight a little, and I’d prove that I could hold my own, and you’d understand. I guess I was still kind of full of myself then, wasn’t I?”

“No, I hadn’t planned to kill you. I wasn’t going to. I didn’t want to.” Hanzo looked into his brother’s face again, his mind filling with memories of that night. “I do not even know what happened to make me do that, Genji. I loved you, I still love you, I never wanted to hurt you, let alone kill you. I remember us talking, and you being cocky, but that was all normal. I do not remember killing you. I do not remember what happened to make me do that. And every time I think about it, and try to remember, I- I do not know. I feel like I cannot control myself, like if I stay too long on that memory I will become someone else. Someone angrier, someone I am scared of. It is the same way I felt when I killed Uncle, but worse. Much, much worse. At least that time I can remember. This time, with you... I am so sorry, Genji.”

“Brother... I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know it was like that. You don’t remember? We were fighting, well, I was fighting. You wouldn’t fight back, you just kept talking about how I needed to come home, and we could keep the family together, and then something about how Father wouldn’t have wanted this. Then I told you I killed him for you, so I didn’t care what he wanted. That’s what happened. That’s when you started fighting me back. I didn’t understand then, why you would be so angry with me like that. I get it now. I’m sorry, Hanzo.”

They both sat quiet after that, neither one sure of what to say next. The scene that had replayed every night in Hanzo’s dreams had been explained, but he didn’t know what to do with this information. What could he do? Of course hearing his brother admit to killing his father at that time would have done that to him, as much as he hated it. But that was over now, everything, was over. He had hoped that finding out what happened would ease his mind, clear his thoughts, anything. But instead he felt hollow, drained of everything that made him feel alive. Not that that was any different than usual, but this time was markedly different. He had been expecting something, closure at least, which made this emptiness even more distinguished. For some reason though, his mind kept wandering toward that damned cowboy.

“Genji, is it my turn now?”

Genji nodded his head and smiled, happy to get off this depressing topic and onto something else.

“How did you live?”

“I...” Genji paused a moment, not sure how to explain that. He guessed he knew, mainly, but he had no idea how they had known he was there to save him. He thought maybe he should’ve asked back then.

“I don’t know how they found me, but Overwatch picked me up. This jackass called Reyes,” He let out a small cough, “I mean, _Commander_ Reyes, he said he found me. But I don’t want to talk about him, he just picked me up. I was really saved by this angel, I mean, she’s a literal angel Hanzo. Wings and all. She replaced most of my body with cybernetics, so I only had like, and arm and my head. Well, most of my head. I really don’t know what all you got on me for her to have to replace nearly my whole body, but it was pretty rad at first. I was faster, better, stronger, you name it, I could do it. They put me in this special covert section called Blackwatch, where that Reyes guy was the boss. He put me and Jess through Hell over his leader complex. I never said this to anyone, but he’s part of the reason I left.”

“So they brought you back to life, by turning you into this robot?”

“Not this one, this body was an upgrade. I had started to get a little uncomfortable, you know, waking up from a coma and being half robot is kind of freaky. It was cool at first, but then you start feeling less like yourself, and I started losing my sense of self. That’s when Mercy, the angel, we called her Mercy, but her name was Angela, that’s when she decided to upgrade my cybernetics, maybe make it a little more comfortable. I was excited, really, but now I’m...” Genji gestured to his body with both hands, and sighed. “Now the only human part of me is my soul.”

“And that is why you came here. At least, that is what the cowboy told me.”

“You know his name, right? You don’t have to call him ‘the cowboy’ forever.” Hanzo rolled his eyes in response. “But yeah, when I left I told everyone I needed to go find myself and make peace with my new body. I kind of wandered around a bit, but I heard rumors about a monk that was bridging the gap between humans and Omnics here in Nepal. I’m not sure what happened, but one morning I woke up with my head in Master Zenyatta’s lap, my clothes ripped up and I was covered in dirt. Man, I’ll never forget that. There weren’t many clouds in the sky, we were sitting under this awesome tree, and everything felt like a dream. His hand was in my hair, and it was the first non-violent contact I’d felt in... Damn, who knows how long. He brought me here and fed me, and introduced me to Master Mondatta. I didn’t really get to know him too well before him and Master Zenyatta took separate paths, but from what I could tell him and Master Zenyatta were like brothers. I’ve been with him ever since, and that’s been? I don’t even know how long off the top of my head. I feel like I belong here, with Master Zenyatta, doing this peaceful meditation.”

“It sounds like this Omnic has done a lot of good for you.” Hanzo couldn’t help but smile at his brother. Hearing him talk like this, like he had finally found a place he was happy in, was worth more than the loneliness he had felt without him. If Genji was happy, he was happy. He still wasn’t sure he cared much for this new body his brother possessed, but after hearing Genji talk about how it had affected him, he figured he could learn to be at peace with it as well. And then there was the case of that Omnic, which he wasn’t sure he cared much for either. But his brother seemed to care a lot about him, so he figured again that he could learn to accept him too. Really, he could get used to anything if it was something that made his brother happy. That he was sure of.

“Yeah, Hanzo you have no idea. I really... I really care about him. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone, like this. He means the world to me. Every new day I spend with him is another I’m thankful to be alive. I just, I really don’t know where I’d be without him, Hanzo.”

“You would not answer me before, but I assume that is what you meant when you told me no to my celibacy question?” Hanzo gave him brother a devious grin, knowing he would have to answer this question now.

“I uh,” Genji slowly moved his hands up to cover his face, before letting out a small whimper. “Maybe.”

“I was very transparent with you Genji, I think I have a right to know how involved you are with this Omnic.” Hanzo didn’t actually care about knowing, but he knew his brother. Back in the day Genji had been a massive playboy, picking up multiple girls a night without a second thought. The fact that he was now involved with an Omnic, and a male programmed one at that, was beyond hilarious.

“Nmf. wm dh fhmm fthff.”

“I could not understand that, would you mind taking your hands off your face for me?” Hanzo was close to laughing now. Never in his life had his brother been embarrassed about his sexual exploits. This was one for the record.

“Nh.”

“Genji, I will tell you all about mine if you just confirm or deny.”

“NO!” Genji unblocked his mouth for that single word, and then quickly replaced his hands, pressing them harder against his face. The last thing he wanted was to hear _anything_ about his brother getting it on with his best friend.

“I see how it is. How about something else then? I will tell you all about mine _until_ you tell me about yours. I will not say a word if you just tell me straight.”

Genji sunk down, hands still covering his face, and let out a long whine. This wasn’t fair, not at all. He knew his brother didn’t really care, but that watching him overreact was too hilarious for him to step off. He hated this, and wished he had just kept his mouth shut in the first place.

“Yeah. We did some stuff. It was good. That’s all I’m willing to say about it.” He mimicked what Hanzo had said almost verbatim, and hoped that would be enough. He had never been more embarrassed in his whole life than right now, and he wished someone, anyone would walk in and interrupt this conversation.

“Thank you.” Hanzo was barely able to speak for laughing at the embarrassed mess in front of him, but it didn’t matter. He had missed this, missed his brother. He had missed laughing, and now the emptiness from just a few minutes before seemed like a distant memory. This is why he came up this mountain. He finally found his brother.

“Are you happy now? Can this be over?” Genji’s hands were still firmly over his face, but angled so they no longer covered his mouth. He was sure there was plenty else they could talk about, but at this point, he just wanted to go do something else.

“I suppose we can take a break. Maybe see how the other two are holding up with each other.” Hanzo still couldn’t stop smiling, even with his brother asking to do something else. As long as they could do it together, he could always ask more questions later.

“That sounds great. I’m sure they’re having a great time just like us!” Genji finally moved his hands off his face to stand, revealing his face to be a solid shade of red. “At least they aren’t quizzing each other on their sex lives, I hope.”

“Is that something that, what was his name? Zenyatta? Is that something he likes to do?” Hanzo made to stand as well, patting his hands on his pants once he was up.

“No, I mean, not usually, oh god, I hope not, He doesn’t usually talk to people who aren’t coming for what he does, so I-”

“I assure you it is fine. Come on, let us go check on them.”

Genji had gotten tense as he talked, but relaxed with his brother’s words. Certainly neither of the other two were devils like Hanzo was, so there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. If they did talk it was probably about Zenyatta’s teachings, or McCree’s travels. No way would they have started talking about anything dirty.


	22. CH 21 Act 6 Scene 3

“You son of a-!”

“Do not be upset. There is no shame in a bad die roll.”

“Bad die roll? Listen, I’m the craps champion!”

“Even champions lose sometimes. Since you are out of money, what have you to offer me now?”

“Damn, what da ya want? You’ve taken me for about everythin’ now. Should I start undressin’?”

Genji turned the corner rapidly, swinging himself inside the room with one hand on the door frame. He let out a sigh of relief, seeing a monopoly board covered in little houses between the two men inside. The two looked up at him from the suddenness, surprise written all over their faces.

“Hey Genji, we was just playin’ a game. He didn’t tell me he was the monopoly master though, so I feel a little bit cheated.

“I am not the master, this game is purely luck and strategy. Perhaps Genji would like to pay your rent for this round?”

Genji looked from one man to the other, and then at the board. He took a quick look at where McCree had landed (he was playing as the cowboy hat, per usual) and wondered how he had gotten so unlucky. Boardwalk, three hotels, and he had one piece of monopoly money left that wasn’t even a fourth of what he owed.

“Uh, Jess, you’ve probably lost this one. He plays monopoly like, every day.”

“Thanks for tellin’ me now, pardner. He said he couldn’t play me a round a cards, or chess, or nothin’. This was my only choice.”

“Yeah... See, he was one of the Omnics built to be smarter than people. So any logic game, he would destroy you at. Like, worse than this.”

“Well,” McCree groaned and leaned back on his arms. “Now that y’all are done I think I can be done with this too. That sound good to you Mr. Monopoly?”

“That is perfectly alright, Mr. McCree.” Zenyatta picked up the board gently, dumping the pieces back in the box in the next motion. At the same time, he floated all the money back into the right place, and finally, laid the board into the box and replaced the lid.

“How’s he do that, pick stuff up with his mind? Is that a monk power?”

“It’s just something he can do, nothing big. Either of you hungry?”

McCree raised his hand, signifying that he was indeed ready for more food. They hadn’t eaten much today, and he knew it had to be well into the afternoon. After this game, anything was good.

Genji led him and Hanzo into an entirely different building, leaving Zenyatta where he was and finally arriving at a small dining hall. It was better lit than the shrine room, filled with a couple tables and enough chairs for ten people. He commented that it was rarely used, since most people who lived up here were Omnics or humans who were so cybernetically enhanced they didn’t need to eat, but that they should have some canned food from the last time they went out. McCree mentioned the cans he had collected from the village, but Genji dismissed him and pulled out newer cans from a small pantry.

“I just picked these up a few months ago, so they should definitely be better than those cans you picked up. Those others had to have been there for like, a decade at least. They probably aren’t any good anymore.”

“Nah, it’s in a can. That means it’s good forever.”

Genji shook his head but knew it would be pointless to argue. He lit up the stove, an ancient thing that somehow hadn’t lost the gas connection during the Crisis. He found a pan soon after, pouring the contents of the first can he grabbed into it.

“Hope green beans are ok, I’ve got a can of peas too if anyone wants that.”

“Nah that’s perfect, I been wantin’ some green beans.” McCree picked out a seat in the middle of the right side of the table, and pulled out his bag of trail mix as well as the jerky. “Nothin’ like a full meal after all that hikin’!”

Hanzo stood for another minute next to Genji in the kitchen area, not ready to leave his side just yet. They both stared at the pot on the stove, even though it hadn’t started to heat. After a bit though Hanzo felt a little in the way and went to join McCree, taking his seat across the table but on the end. A while later and Genji came to join them, bring bowls and the pot of beans with him and sitting across from Hanzo. It wasn’t long before the three of them finished them off, helping themselves to the dried meat and trail mix as well. They were all quiet, besides the crunching and chewing of the trail mix.

“So Genji, it’s been a while. You just been up here hangin’ out with all these monks?” McCree was the first to speak, and stopped shoving food in his mouth long enough to do so.

“All these monks? Right now it’s just me and Master Zenyatta. We’re only going to be here for a little while until we go back to our travels, so it was really lucky that you caught us here. Any earlier and we might not have been here, any later and we would’ve already been gone.”

“Oh, really? I guess it was just meant to be then! Why are you up here then, if you don’t usually stay here?”

“Master Zenyatta comes up here to pray every so often, and I never leave his side so I came too. After this we’ll be headed to California to try and speak with the Omnic base there, which should be kind of like a vacation after where we went before.”

“Oh, California. That sounds real nice, I haven’t been there in a while myself. I’m not sure what me an’ Han are goin’ ta do after this, we’ve kind a just been goin’ by ear.”

“Yeah, Cali is nice. You guys should come with us if you want, it would be really nice to just hang out like that, you know?”

“That does sound nice, Han what do you think?” McCree turned to Hanzo, who up till now had been quietly organizing the trail mix pieces into a chart formation. He looked up at the other when he spoke to him, pausing in his activity.

“I was actually hoping we would go back to Japan. I mean, Genji and I. I don’t particularly care what you do.”

“Japan? Aniki, the last time I went to Japan I barely recognized the place. I only knew where you would be because of some hear-tell on the streets. Besides, I like it here with Zenyatta. We travel the world, have a lot of fun, it’s really nice. I don’t have any plans to go back to Japan like, ever.”

“But-” Hanzo gave his brother a dirty look and bit his tongue. “But that is why I came here, was to get you back. I came here to talk to you and you would understand and everything would be fine. You cannot just stay here, doing nothing!”

“Hanzo, I’m not ‘doing nothing.’ I’m doing a lot here with Master Zenyatta! I’ve learned a lot, and I’m doing great! I don’t want to go back there and get into a rut again, can’t you understand that?”

“Genji, stop being like this! This is foolish, thinking that running around with monks and Omnics and praying will get you anywhere. This is just like before, I was daft to think you had changed at all!”

“No, you’re the one who hasn’t changed! If you would let me explain, if you would listen to me for one minute, you would see how different I really am! Why are you always so stubborn about everything! It can’t always be your way or nothing, I have a life too you know! What about all we just talked about? Jess, back me up.”

“Wh- Me? I don’t want to be in this. Can’t y’all just talk civilized?” McCree put up his hands in defense, garnering an angry glance from Genji.

“Do not drag him into this. It is between you and I, and the fact that you still do not care about anyone but yourself!”

“I do care Hanzo, and that’s why I know you need more than just me hanging around being your therapist! This is why I left in the first place, and why I refuse to come back. God, get a grip would you?”

“I have a grip! I cannot be around you like this. You always do this, turning it back on me like I have done so much to wrong you when it was always you picking on me!” Hanzo stood up forcefully then, slamming his hands on the table enough to scatter the organized trail mix into a mess again.

“Han, calm down a minute will ya? Genji, what did you do to him back then?” McCree butt in in the next second, half standing up himself. He looked to Genji at the same time, not sure what Hanzo was talking about here.

“I didn’t do anything. He’s the one who tried to kill me.” Genji stayed seated, actually relaxing back in his chair instead of rising up with the other two.

“Han, you still need ta talk about somethin’? I can stay right here if ya want, and you just tell Genji what’s on your mind.”

“Fine...” Hanzo relaxed a little, easing himself back into his chair and pulling his hands into his lap to stare at them. “Genji, I have been thinking... About you, us, everything that happened. I always felt like I could not live without you, but that that would be okay because you would always be with me. It was probably because being with you was the only time nothing was ever expected of me, now that I think about it. Everything with Uncle made me self-conscious, made me feel worthless. And no matter how hard I trained or how long I shadowed Father, the elders refused to accept me. I could never do anything right for anyone, it seemed. But when I was with you it was different, I could escape into some fantasy where for once I was all someone else needed. You treated me so much better, I thought, because I did not have to pass any tests for you to love me. I guess you just did not know me like the rest of the family did, and I was happy with that.

“But as we got older, you started to change while I stayed the same. There started to be tests for your love too, as you took me places and made me talk to strangers like they were my friends. I guess you couldn’t have known just how opposed to that idea I was, since it was really hard for me to tell you about it. I wanted to do what you did, follow you around and be loved for doing nothing special. But I guess you were doing something special, something I could never emulate. You were loved by everyone, you know? Father, the elders, the extended family, every other person you ever met in your entire life, talking about you like you hung the stars in the sky.

“If I could think better right now, I would list you off all the things you held over my head as conditions for you to want to spend time with me. None of them were things I was any good at, and I know you knew that. ‘Say something to Chii without freaking her out or you cannot come to the park tomorrow’ turned into ‘if you can find a girlfriend who can tolerate you long enough to ride in the car you can come to the party with us.’ I tried, I tried very hard. But I could never accomplish the goals, so you consistently went on without me. Really, I would not have needed anyone else if I could have just stayed with you, but I know you didn’t want that.

“I only notice now that everything from back then was so terrible. You were in another league from me back then, and it was obvious you knew it. You did not make the best grades, but your athleticism earned you more recognition anyway. I was the opposite, with most of my strengths being in book study and mathematical applications. I suppose it had always been a trend for the sportier children to segregate themselves from their bookish counterparts though, was it not? We were entirely different from each other. You know, your friends were never very nice to me. I know you used to tell me that they liked me well enough, that they were like that to everyone, but I knew better. They had their clique, and they did not want me anywhere near them. I suppose I did threaten to remove their organs that one time, though.” Hanzo let out a small laugh thinking about that instance, but quickly stopped himself.

“Anyway, that was not my point, I digress. Besides excluding me from your social circles, you were also a master at gloating. We would spar, or have some sort of contest, and every time you won you would go on about it for weeks, until Father had us spar again. It was always a grading rubric for you, to make sure you were really learning and applying the skills you needed to master. It was consistently an embarrassment ritual for me though, as I was told every time to allow you to win. I suppose I should have refused, and fought you like I meant it, but the way Father asked me had always been too persuasive. ‘Let him win this time, go easy on him. He is not feeling like he is doing anything and I want to show him that he is making progress.’ Of course I fell for this. Somehow, I had tricked myself into believing that you would realize what was going on and would let me beat you once. It would not have been fair, but none of our matches were. Or maybe this time you would not rub it in so hard, joined by the elders who I think believed you were going to be the successor. Actually, now everything seems to look like that was what was going on. I think everyone besides Father had already decided that they were going to let you lead the clan. I cannot imagine why.” That last line was sarcastic, and he scoffed at his words.

“I do not want to sound like I am playing a fiddle for myself, here. It has just become increasingly clear to me that the problem was not actually me. I tried to see a therapist, this small woman who wanted nothing to do with me until I brought out my wallet. I only left because of how angry she made me, telling me at every turn that nothing had been my fault but that no one had been very fair to me. I refused to believe this, her thinking she could get away with slandering my family, my beloved brother, like she had any idea about them or you. I blamed myself for that too, because I must have lied to her somehow about things that had happened. It really had not been that bad, I decided, but that I had blown it out of proportion when recalling it which led her to point fingers to you and everyone else. But now, I am sure she was right about everything.

“These past few days, someone has shown me what it is like to have someone genuinely care about you. I hate it, and I spent until this morning believing that he was after something. Genji, did you know that this man has not asked me for anything?” Hanzo gestured a hand toward McCree, which caught the other man off guard. “He even tried to tell me he loved me before I cut him off, and then spent the next minutes telling me he loved me in a long riddle!”

“You got all that from me tellin’ ya about snake men?”

“Shut up, cowboy. Genji, when was the last time you told me you loved me where you did not immediately before or after ask me for some favor? I cannot recall a time. Laying out my grievances like this, I think that I was never the one who needed forgiveness.”

“Uh...” Genji paused a moment, rolling his eyes up to look at the ceiling. “It was probably sometime 15 years ago. I know I did, your memories are just twisted because of the elders. I know you suffered a lot because of them, so you’re welcome for me killing them for you. You have to know I love you because I was able to forgive you for what you did to me, right?”

“This is my point Genji. You are the one who needs my forgiveness, for how awful you were to me my entire life. The elders were one thing, but you did not help me either.”

“What?” Genji looked shocked for the first time in this conversation, his crossed arms loosening a bit as he started to lean forward. “You tell yourself that, but who is the one who almost succeeded in murdering his own brother, in cold blood at that? You didn’t even hesitate to follow out the orders to kill me, your own brother who only wanted the best for you. Is this the only way you can deal with that guilt? To push the responsibility for your own actions on to me, when all I wanted was to be happy? When all I wanted was for both of us to be happy? I loved and trusted you, and instead of trying to understand, you betrayed me without thought.” Genji shook his head with a small, pitying sigh, and relaxed back into himself. “Everything I did was to try to protect you too. You know, the elders were worried I would kill you if I fought with my full strength so I went easy on you not for them, but for you. So really, the one holding back was me.”

“Is that all you wanted to comment on? To excuse yourself from my purposeful ostracization from the clan?” Hanzo was annoyed over this for the first time, having taken most of this talk in stride in the past. Was his brother really going to just pretend like he hadn’t aided in the torment he suffered from the elders because he had actually been a better ninja?

“Oh no, I have a lot more to comment on than that, but I’m not the one who needs to defend himself here. I know you’re just trying to put me in a corner to shift the conversation from the fact that you were your own problem, not me. You were a mess Hanzo, a total mess, and every time I tried to help you, you twisted it to make me the bad guy. I was just trying to help you be sociable, to have friends and maybe even a real girlfriend. It’s not my fault it was totally impossible for you to feel any emotions.”

“Genji, I already told you how I felt about that. You were the only one who wanted me to socialize in that capacity, and your ‘efforts’ only served to make me feel worse! I did not need friends, or girlfriends, I just needed my brother to be supportive of me. Which was apparently too hard for you since I was not as loose and childish as you were! You made me feel like I was worthless to you unless we were alone, and then I came home to the elders giving me shit for things I could not control. I do not need to defend myself for what happened to me!”

“Do you think you're the only one who had to deal with hardship in that house?" Genji scoffed, not even flinching at Hanzo's words. "I was put through hell and back again for what was supposedly the ‘good of the clan,’ but at the end of the day I didn't let it break me. I didn't let them turn me into something inhuman like you did, even though they asked me to do all kinds of awful things. It was bad enough when they made me go spy on people or break into places, but then they wanted me to murder. They made me put my life and plans on hold, for what? So I could murder some innocent pretty women? No, I just threw the orders away like I said before. It took people literally dragging me to missions for me to follow through. The elders knew they couldn't touch me. They didn’t have to push you so hard though, because you let them do it to you. But me? I never let it happen, and because of that they put me through hell and had me do the worst assignments every time I refused to kill someone. They'd harden my training even more to ‘toughen me up,’ but I knew it was just to punish me. Every time I turned around they had a new, more sadistic thing to make me do. So, if you really think my life was all sunshine and rainbows, you're wrong. You could have chosen to be better a long time ago if you had just fought them with me to begin with."

“You little brat.” Hanzo stood again, less forcefully, stepping around the table to get closer to his brother. Genji just simply watched him, a smirk on his face, while McCree stayed standing next to Genji in case he needed to intervene.

“What are you going to do? Try to kill me again? You fucked it up the last time, so I clearly don’t have anything to worry about. Go ahead, I won’t fight back. Hell, I won’t even move. Maybe you can show me those “superior” skills you supposedly have that you didn’t show me last time.” Genji’s grin never wavered, and he tossed a hand out to the side for effect.

“Why are you like this!” Hanzo couldn’t stop himself from getting angry, even though he knew Genji was setting him up with this. He pulled a small knife out of his belt, pointing it toward his brother against his better judgement. “Maybe I should try again!”

“Whoa hey now, we didn’t come here to fight remember?” McCree figured now was a good time to get between them, going to the other side of Genji and putting a hand up toward both of them.

“Then stop talking me to death and do it, or is your will as weak as your fighting skills?” Genji stood as he spoke, taking a step to the side so as to not be in front of the chair he had been in, putting himself even with his brother with only a table width between them.

“Genji, please-”

“Hraugh!” Hanzo went to lunge at Genji, the other’s smugness fueling his anger and frustration.

“Hey, Hey!” McCree got fully between them, grabbing Hanzo by the wrist and pulling it toward himself, twisting Hanzo away from Genji. “He’s baiting you Han, just calm down.”

“Calm down? I want to fight him! I want him to show me how much better than me he is, I want him to try to kill me!”

“Yeah, if I fought back I would probably kill you. But unlike someone else in this room, I’m not the kind of man who would want to kill his own brother.”

“Genji, shut the hell up.” McCree looked back to Hanzo, his face softening. “Han, just drop it. This won’t end well if you don’t. Please trust me.”

“No, I want to die. I want him to stop being a coward and kill me!” Hanzo tried to jerk his arm free from the other man’s grasp, and McCree let him. “Genji is so perfect and happy, I destroyed him and everything that attracted people to him and he is still fine, while I am miserable! Genji!” Hanzo pointed the knife at his brother again, directing his attention away from McCree. “You stand there with your confidence, knowing you are strong and capable. You are perfectly fine! I destroyed you, but you are still happy. You have this Omnic to love you, and I am still like this! This oaf is the first person who I have been this close to since I was 20! Why do you always get the good hand, no matter what I do? Even if I did kill you, no one would care more about me! They would just worship you more! Kill me and get it over with!”

“Hanzo, he’s not going to kill you.” McCree tried his best to divert the other’s thoughts but was ignored, despite the hand he put on his shoulder for comfort.

“I have lived all these years thinking you were gone and it was all my fault, I failed and lost the only one person I had left that mattered to me because I was broken! I have gotten into so many fights in the hopes that I would lose and maybe be able to see you again in another life, only for my body to win for me so I would stay alive. I stopped eating for weeks, because people like me do not deserve to eat! I was just waiting to die, praying that someone or something would end me like I deserved. But then you came back, and you use the dragons, and I know you are the one I was waiting for. You are the one who can kill me. But then you reveal your face, and I know it is you, and you refused to kill me! You chose to be a martyr and spare my life and force me to keep living this awful life! I deserve to die.”

Hanzo let himself go then, falling to his hands and knees as the tears he had been holding back fell to the floor as well. He stayed there like that, sobbing toward the tile and making no effort to clean himself up. McCree didn’t know whether he should go down with him or not, looking toward Genji instead but only finding him with a condescending look.

“Now you’re just being pathetic, Hanzo. You know none of that is true. You’re just lashing out so you can point your finger at me, instead of getting over yourself and taking charge of your life like you should be able to. You can’t just come here and get upset and expect me to just kill you because you’ve decided that you wanted to lose that fight all those years ago.”

McCree made up his mind then, turning to Genji with a huff and hitting him with a solid right hook to his jaw. Genji fell backwards, landing flat on his ass with a thud.

“What the hell, Jess!?” Genji looked back up at him with disgust, but McCree only returned to him a look of disappointment.

“The poor guy is miserable and beggin’ you ta kill him an’ you have the nerve ta call him pathetic? I don’t want ta pick sides between the two a ya but you’re makin’ it real hard. I think he’s right, you were like that when you were a kid. Selfish, and that didn’t seem ta change with all this meditation an’ shit, at least not toward the one guy you owe it to the most.”

“Come on, you know me. You know what I’ve been through and how much it all changed me. I’ve helped him a lot more than he’s told you, but look at the thanks I get for it!” Genji pointed a finger up at his brother, using his other hand to try and sit back up.

“Helped him? With what? Treatin’ him like an outcast, blamin’ him for bein’ bad at socializin’, killin’ his entire family? How does any of that make ya helpful?”

“The family wasn’t good for him, but I was the only one who saw that. I just wanted to take him away from that criminal lifestyle, for his own good, you know? I was hoping that he would just give up and join me in Blackwatch, actually.”

“Or you could have just understood that I enjoyed my work and I felt like I belonged there, instead of trying to control my life!” Hanzo looked over to him, still on his knees.

 “Yeah? You really think I was ‘trying to control your life?’ Cool story, except that everyone was actually trying to control my life too, wanting me to do things I didn’t want to like killing people just because they ordered me to. What was I supposed to do? That’s obviously wrong and against any kind of real moral code, Hanzo.”

“This really ain’t my fight, but you killed a whole hell of a lot of people just because Reyes told you to. So it looks to me like you just didn’t want to do it ‘cause your family told you to. You didn’t want ta work.”

 “Jess please, those people we killed in Blackwatch were criminals. Every single one of them were killers who would have killed even more if they weren’t stopped, so I had to kill them.”

“And ya killed your whole family. Just you, by yourself.”

“Yeah, and they were criminals too. Is there a point here, or have you gotten so involved with him that you let him blind you to the facts?”

“Nothing is so black and white, you ignoramus. Our clan supported the police, the Emperor, boosted the economy, and we also killed people. But not just any people, other yakuza who threatened us. It was only right before you left that the underlings started murdering civilians, and that was never what we stood for!”

 “Anything between the black and white is fiction created just to control you and convince you what you were doing was okay, Hanzo. But black and white is all there is! You kill people for money, that’s bad and makes you a bad person! The whole clan was rotten from the get-go, but you refuse to acknowledge it just like you always have.”

“Hey now, I kill people for money too. And I know you sure as hell got paid for all the hits you pulled off.” McCree had been trying to keep out of this argument, but decided that that wasn’t going to happen.

“That money had nothing to do with the kills themselves. The world runs on money and it was necessary to keep up our fight for good. And, all my kills were honor kills just like yours. Those Talon agents were terrorists, aka bad guys, and we took them down. It’s simple, black and white just like I said.”

“Simple huh? So ain’t none of them Talon people any good? They don’t have good goals, or believe in a better world like the rest of us? ‘Cause I’d beg to differ. Sure they go about it the wrong way, but they believe in a safe and happy world like everyone in Overwatch. They just have a more direct route that ain’t littered with red tape. And what about Amelie? You gonna go and kill her now too?”

“Amelie... That’s totally different. She was brainwashed.”

“Yeah, but you can’t have it both ways. Is she evil now?”

“Well, yeah. I guess she is evil now.”

“Amazing. You turn your back on your friends like you do to your family!” Hanzo instinctively pointed the knife at his brother again, but Genji only scoffed at him.

“You have no idea what you’re even talking about.”

“Maybe he doesn’t, but I do, and I think I agree with him. Before Blackwatch recruited me I was in a gang, you know. I killed people, smuggled arms, that shit. And after Overwatch disbanded, I didn’t know what ta do so I started bein’ a hired thug. Do you hate me? You goin’ ta kill me now?”

“Well, no? You’re-”

“I kill people for money just like a ton of other people. In this world with the Crisis and the terrorists, we’re all just tryin’ ta get by ain’t we? But you think you’re so high and mighty ‘cause ya sat up on a mountain and prayed a bunch? Ya think you’re better than us who have to do some criminal stuff just ta eat? Is that how it is now?”

“Well, maybe yeah! Why don’t you just go out and get a real job instead of living off murder?”

“Says the boy who does not need to eat or pay bills!” Hanzo chimed in at that, garnering a glare from his brother.

“I serve a purpose in this world! What do you do? Sit around waiting for someone to kill you like the pathetic excuse for a man you’ve become? You’re beyond hopeless! At least Jess has the guts to say he’s a criminal! I wish I had killed you when I found you giving me _incense offerings_.”

“Genji!” The exclamation was accompanied by a small clatter, and all three men turned to look at where it came from. At some point Zenyatta had come inside, presumably to show them something that had been dropped from shock. He floated right inside the door, his mouth slightly open as he stared toward the others.

“Master! Are you alright?” Genji finally picked himself up off the ground, hurriedly spinning around and rushing over to the Omnic.

“No, why would you say that, Genji? That was so cruel. You are doing more damage than good here, with that...”

“Master I just...”

Zenyatta looked past his disciple, toward the other two men. McCree was standing idle, and Hanzo had drawn into himself while holding his arms tight against him. Both men were looking toward the Omnic, waiting for him to say something more.

“Genji, go outside please.”

“Yes master.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Genji IS better than this. I wrote him this way here because, as someone who grew up with everyone being hard on them, his natural reaction (when dealing with his brother) is to just be hard on him. It's a terrible way to be, but both of them are guilty of it. If any of you have seen Guardians of the Galaxy, it's kind of like Gamora and Nebula. Pit against each other all the time growing up, and now they only know how to communicate in anger. No one wins that way, but both of them are lucky enough to have a good support base now. Slight spoiler, but Genji isn't going to stay like this. He WANTS to be better, he just didn't realize before now that that was the wrong way to deal with his brother. Character development!


	23. CH 22 Act 6 Scene 4

Genji ducked his head, sliding around Zenyatta and through the door in the next second. Zenyatta then floated his way over to the other two, taking the place that Genji had just recently occupied.

 “Are you alright?” A cool hand came to rest on Hanzo’s shoulder, and he looked down to his arms crossed over his stomach. Despite the Omnic’s face and body being made entirely of metal, he seemed very worried. Hanzo didn’t want his pity, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell him off either. McCree could sense that Zenyatta wanted to speak to Hanzo alone now, and quietly excused himself to go find Genji outside. Maybe they could have a talk of their own, too.

“I would be better, if my brother cared about me like he used to promise he did.”

“I know that he does, I can promise you. I am truly unsure as to why he spoke to you in that manner.”

“I came all this way to talk with him, but he does not care at all. I had somehow deluded myself into thinking that he would even come back to Japan with me if I asked him to.”

“Hanzo, your brother loves you very much. He speaks of you all the time, and rarely a day passes when he does not mention you. But you must understand, that he has built a life here. He is happy, and he has reached enlightenment. I am concerned as to what happened here that would lead him to drop everything he has learned about compassion to attack you in such a manner, though.”

“I am glad that he is happy. But he should want to come home, to our home, where he belongs. I think that is what started the argument, at least.”

“Have you ever thought, perhaps, that that is not where he truly belongs? Perhaps it is where you belong, but perhaps not. Given the condition of your mind, I would like to argue that it is not where you belong either, but I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Of course it is where I belong, it is where I was raised, where my family began, I have nowhere else to go.”

“You have many other places to go. You could move to another city, or to another country altogether. The world is very large. Where you belong is not so simple as where you were raised, or where your family took root. Where you belong is complex, a place you find on your journeys where you can be the best that you can be. You have most likely never been to this place, but as soon as you step in there, you will feel in your soul that you are meant to be there. Have you ever tried living anywhere else?”

“No, I do not want to. There is no place that means to me what my home does.”

“No place has meaning until you give it meaning. And your home, I have heard from Genji that many terrible things happened there. Do you still feel chained to that place, in order to make peace with your past?”

Hanzo stayed silent, as he was sure that that was none of this monk’s business. He had never left as a personal choice, which was only consciously loosely tied to his past. There had not only been bad things that happened, it had also been where many good things happened. Although thinking back, the bad things surely outweighed the good. In the end, he felt he would never truly be able to leave his past behind as his brother apparently had, and the thought of that made him sick.

“I have a proposition, if you are willing to take it. Genji and I will be here for another week or so, and then we are to leave for California. I would like for you to go back to your home and meditate. I doubt you will want to leave your new friend behind, so you should bring him with you. You should think of everything that is holding you to that place, everything that you feel you owe to the building in which you have inherited. Ask yourself why you cannot leave, is it because of some duty you feel you owe to your family? Or it is because of the familiarity of everything, and that you feel you can’t leave because otherwise you would be lost? Find the answers to these questions, and be open-minded to find solutions.” Zenyatta had moved to the side to sit adjacent to Hanzo, then he placed a hand over Hanzo’s hands which the other man had tightly wound together in his lap. “You would benefit from making peace with your past, even if it is a painful task. Your new friend is here to help you, and he desires to very much. You should let those who are placed on Earth to help you do their jobs, so that you might be enlightened about your own existence.”

“I do not know the first thing about any of that. But I do not need help, and no one could give it to me adequately enough to have any effect.” Hanzo wanted to brush the Omnic’s hand off of his, but he was too tired to be unnecessarily angry anymore. His pride wanted to refuse to want to listen to the words being spoken to him, but somewhere within himself he found the strength to listen despite it.

“You do not know, because you will not try, is that correct? You must first be open to assistance, before you are able to accept it. It is like trying to put things into a closed box; It does not work well without damaging the goods or the box in the event of force. The first step is to admit that you need help, and then to be open about accepting the help. I can tell that you have a lot of pride, and I know I am right from what Genji has told me. Being prideful is not a sin, but at some point, you must be able to admit that you are not always correct and that you do not always do what is in your own best interest. Does this make sense?”

Hanzo opened his mouth to speak against that, but closed it when he couldn’t find an argument. Instead, he just nodded his head and accepted the criticism.

“I think you could learn a lot from your friend, as well. He is kind and humble, but not quick to admit defeat. You have the confidence, but you must also work on your mannerisms. Genji told me that you were part of an organized crime family, which would explain all of these negative traits. You are not able to express yourself emotionally, leading to a bottling of emotion that results in what is happening now. Do you like to feel like this? I know you do not, I do not know of anyone who does. It must be rather painful to be holding yourself to such a high standard, creating by yourself a space where you are not allowed to be human. This leads to the next part of my proposition, in which I will ask that you meet with Genji and I in California after you are done making peace at your house. There, Genji and I will do whatever we can to help you clear your mind and open your emotions so that you can feel alive. Is this a good proposition? And then afterwards, you will be free to go find a new home. Perhaps you could make arrangements to bring familiar things from your old home, to make the new one more familiar. I think, perhaps, that your new friend would be able to take you to the place where you truly belong, if you would let him.”

“He cannot take me anywhere I have not already been.”

“That is a bold statement, but I can tell that he has been many places that you have not. As Genji has been many places neither of you have been, and I have been to places that none of you have been. Such is the way of the world. It is possible that you have been to the locations of others, but there is no way for you to have experienced them in quite the same way as the other person. Sometimes, you cannot see the meaning of things without borrowing the eyes of another.”

“I am not sure what that means, or what I am supposed to take from that.”

“Hm, let me see. Suppose you go somewhere on your own, and you explore in a certain way. You have found many things, but perhaps not what you were looking for. The next time you go, you bring with you someone else who has been there before, and they are able to take you to what you were looking for. That person has an entirely different perspective on that location, which you do not and cannot possess. The most you can do is listen to them, and understand their feelings on the place, and try to put yourself in their position. Now that might come in handy right now, if you will let it. Perhaps you should try and see this monastery from Genji’s point of view, and then you might understand why he would rather stay here than go back to Japan. Making an effort to see things from other points of view helps in many situations, and you get the bonus of learning more about a person you may have previously known nothing about.”

“You want me to go and talk to him? And let him talk about this place? And that is somehow supposed to convince me that it is not me he cares less for, but that he has come to love this place more?”

“Precisely!” Zenyatta’s whole body lit up, and he seemed to glow. “It would do good for both of you to understand each other more, but I think he has quite a lot to tell you. You must be patient with him though, as he has never been good at vocalizing what he truly means to say. You seem to need to work on your patience, and dealing with Genji requires quite a bit of that. I think it would be a good exercise to test your patience, instead of yelling and inciting arguments. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” He kept asking that, how Hanzo felt about the proposition, and now this. Why did it matter how he felt? Wouldn’t it be easier and more to the point for him to simply instruct, and discipline if it didn’t go correctly? Asking him what he thought, that was kind of backwards wasn’t it? “Why do you not just command me to do what you want me to do?”

“Command? No no, that wouldn’t help. You have to want to do things, have to want to better yourself. That is not something I can just command you to do and you will do it. I cannot make that choice for you, Hanzo. I am only giving you suggestions, but what you do is up to you. Thus why I am asking, what do you think about these suggestions? Are they something you feel you can accomplish? If not, I have other suggestions, starting a little smaller. Would it help if you had a mediator to help you speak to Genji? I would not mind doing that for you.”

“I am not sure what will help. Nothing has ever helped before.”

“We will make a change then, and find something to help. I think I can see a major issue, though, and that is that you have never had a mind of your own. Have you ever told someone that you did not want to do something that they instructed you to do?”

“No one instructs me any longer. The last one to instruct me was one of the elders, but Genji has killed all of them.”

“Did you ever tell any of them that you would not do what they asked? I am sure you have not, or Genji would not be in the shape he is in now. Is that a proper assumption?”

Hanzo tightened his hands again, showing his discomfort with that accusation. Of course it was true, since it had always been expected that he would follow orders. He couldn’t remember any time when he had been the decider of a major decision, or even a time when he had been allowed to have an opinion on matters dealing with the family. He was his own boss now, at least, but he wasn’t living properly at all. The biggest decision he ever had to make was which ramen stand to go to on any given night. He had been conditioned since he was young to simply obey, even after his father named him as heir and he should have had the ability to make his own decisions, and decisions affecting the clan. To this day he second guessed all of his decisions, especially this one to come up this god forsaken mountain chasing a ghost.

“Hanzo, I believe Genji told you that he forgave you for that. He knew of how you were treated, and he knows that you are not at fault for that. This is back on my initial point, in that you need to meditate on your past and make peace with everything. But please, let us go and find Genji. Let him explain to you how he sees things, and I will be there to make sure you understand. Are you ready?”

“How are you going to ensure that he will not attack me again? This time... I thought I was doing as I should by expressing my feelings to him, only for him to tell me that I am bad and that he has done nothing wrong. But in the process of saying that to me, I believe he proved my point rather well in that he truly has been inconsiderate of my issues and feelings.”

“I will handle that, if it comes to that point. I was not fortunate enough to come in here to catch most of your earlier conversation, as I only caught that bit where he said that he should have killed you. I will tell you though, that he does not feel that way, truly. He has expressed his concern for you numerous times, even more so after he visited you this last time. When he speaks of you to me, he is always so concerned for your wellbeing. I am genuinely not sure what has sparked his sour attitude today. He has not talked to anyone like that for several years now. I deeply apologize for his behavior.

“I will accept your apology, but I would also like to hear it from him.”

“I am positive we can arrange that. Would you like to go find him now?”

“I will give it a try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo and Zenyatta are best friends and you will NOT tell me otherwise. Zen is just so sweet and pure and all he wants to do is help and Hanzo is like "ok. please help me." I would die for this friendship. Blizzard hear my cries!


	24. CH 23 Act 6 Scene 5

Genji had gone back outside, walking across the courtyard to sit on the steps of another small building. He buried his face in his hands, mainly upset with himself that Zenyatta had seen him acting like that. He hadn’t meant to go so far with it, it had just come out and his mouth was working faster than his brain could filter his words. He felt stupid and cruel, but mainly he just wanted to apologize to Zenyatta.

“Hey, what the fuck happened in there?” McCree came out soon after, going over to stand over him with his hands on his hips. “I really thought you were goin’ ta be better to him than that.”

“Shit sucks, Jess.” Genji moved his hands from his face to his lap, letting them hang over his knees. “He just starts talking to me and telling me his life story like I didn’t live it too and tries to make it sound like I was being a jerk the whole time? What was I supposed to do, just say ‘yeah maybe I was like that?’”

“Yeah? Yeah that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do. It took a lot of guts for him to come up this mountain and even more for him to tell you how he felt, and you threw it back at him and blamed him for his issues. There has to be a limit to how big of a jackass you can be to one guy, especially if that guy happens to be your brother.”

“Jess, you don’t have any idea what our lives were like back then. Sure he probably had a lot of shit going on, but so did I you know?”

“Yeah, I know. But pain ain’t some competition you can win at by arguin’ it. You got ta sit there and listen to someone tell you what’s wrong and then say ‘wow that sounds awful I’m really sorry for ya.’ You can’t just say ‘well if you thought ya had it bad then wait till ya hear what I went through.’ And another thing-”

“No more other things, I don’t want to be lectured. He shouldn’t have started shit like that.”

“Oh my god you’re being so terrible!” McCree knelt down in front of Genji and slapped both his hands on the other man’s shoulders, jolting him and forcing him to pay attention to him. “He didn’t start shit. You picked a fight with him tryin’ ta get him to fight you for whatever reason. And then I get him to sit back down and actually talk about his feelings for once in his life and you turn around and keep bein’ a dick to him. How would you feel if you told someone about how awful they had been to ya and all they could say was ‘well I guess that’s your problem, ain’t it?’”

“Well it would be my problem ‘cause I should’ve done something about it, you know? Like if he feels like I was so awful to him then why didn’t he tell me sooner or tell me to stop? It doesn’t make any sense to wait 15 years and then say ‘oh by the way everything you’ve ever done toward me was abusive and made me feel bad, frowny face.’”

“Did you get hit in the head? Who is this jackass I’m talkin’ to right now?” McCree took his hands off Genji’s shoulders, putting them over his own face instead.

“I’m still the same jackass that was in Blackwatch with you. Listen, you know me. I don’t just sit around and let people walk on me. That’s why I don’t have any sympathy for him, you know? He let the elders fuck him up, and didn’t stand up to anyone his whole life, and now he wants me to feel sorry for him? Sure, I’ll get right on that.”

“I can’t believe you’re sayin’ this shit. He comes out and tells ya that you weren’t the best brother in the world and that he’s been through a lot and he’s trustin’ you, he’s putting his faith in you that you’re goin’ ta care and want to be better for him and this is how you act instead? I don’t like saying this kind a shit, but, fuck you, Genji.”

“What am I supposed to do? Tell him I’m sorry for trying to help him and promise to do something else? I don’t even know where to start. He apparently hated everything I ever did for him.”

“Why don’t you, I don’t know, ask him what he needs you to do? That’s a great start! But first you have to get your head out a your ass and care about him for one fuckin’ second, alright?”

“I can’t even physically put my head there.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously.”

“No, I mean you seriously responded with that. You can’t go five minutes without bein’ a smartass can you?”

“Nah. Shit was getting too serious Jess, I had to do something.”

“Lord. So you think you can go in there and talk to him like a decent person now?”

“No, I’m going to sit right here and wait for Master Zenyatta. I think he wants to talk to me too ‘cause I upset him pretty bad. You can go back if you want though.”

“Nah, I’ll stay here too. You know, that’s the most he’s talked the whole time I’ve known him. Your brother, I mean. That Zenyatta guy never shuts up.”

“Really? Well I guess I can believe that. He used to talk to me a lot when we were kids but then he sort of just stopped talking all together, not just to me. But yeah Master Zenyatta loves talking to new people. He doesn’t talk that much to me but if I introduce him to someone he will talk to them forever until something makes him stop. I think it’s nice.”

“Yeah, I bet it is. When I was waitin’ in the other room with him he told me his whole life story and then told me all about you two and his religion and some other Omnic guy he used to be friends with and I don’t even remember what all else. But with Hanzo... He told me a story when we stopped last night and that’s about all I knew about him til now. Kind a funny how people are, ain’t it?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“When he told me that little story last night, it was about a thing you two used to do as kids, and that he missed it. I think he really misses you, the brother ya used to be before y’all grew up and everythin’ went downhill, ya know? And I know he still feels awful about what he did to ya. I don’t even know if it helps him any for you ta not blame him, but I know he blames himself.”

“Of course he does, and I did too for a long time. I never really wanted revenge for it or anything, and I didn’t agree that I needed to kill him like Reyes wanted me to either. He’s my brother still, you know? And then I met Zenyatta and he taught me to forgive, so I did. I thought that would be enough, to forgive him and then leave and everyone would be happy with that.”

“Yeah, that would be nice, but ya got ta think that he never got any closure. To him, you were dead for all them years. And then you just show up out a the blue and say you’re still alive but you forgive him for tryin’ ta kill ya, well now everythin’ he knows is a lie. I think if you had stayed there and talked to him then he would’ve been a little better, but it might’ve ended up like this and no one would’ve been there to stop y’all.”

“Yeah, probably. I keep thinking that at some point he’s going to understand my side, that I needed to leave for my own good, and that everything I’ve done was to help myself. But it feels like every time I try to talk to him he doesn’t listen, which is probably what would’ve happened had I tried to talk to him then.”

“I think he wants to listen, I just don’t think he understands. I don’t think he’s got a lot goin’ on in his life, and I don’t think he’s mentally capable of understandin’ a life where someone ain’t miserable all the time. You say you’re happy here and don’t want ta go back with him, and he don’t understand any a that. Just like you don’t understand why he don’t want to change what he’s doin’. He’s been doin’ the same thing for god knows how long, he probably don’t think he can change.”

“Yeah you’re right, I don’t understand. How can he hear the words ‘I’m happy here’ and think ‘oh this is just like everything I know and he won’t have an issue just dropping everything.’ Like seriously, if he wants to live with me again so bad then why doesn’t he just come travel with me and Master Zenyatta? I don’t want to be stuck in the depression zone of Japan and he wants to be around me so that would solve all our problems.”

“Well yeah maybe, but still we have to work on your empathy before y’all should hang out with each other for any amount of time.”

“Ugh, that again. You should be my empathy coach if you’re so good at it, alright? Just tell me what to do and say all the time and maybe I’ll just muscle memory that shit.”

“Sounds like a decent plan. But yeah, why don’t ya talk to him about that? Ask him to just travel around with you and Zenyatta instead of sittin’ by himself all the time.”

“You should come too, just to keep him company if nothing else. He seems to really like you from what I’ve seen. He got all mad then and you just calmed him down like it was nothing.”

“Well that’s just...” McCree smiled to himself a little, having not realized how big a deal that little thing had probably been. “I think he likes me well enough to not kill me, at least. Not that he hasn’t threatened me a million times though.”

“Yeah, but it seems like he’s the one who ended up getting hurt on this expedition, and he probably hasn’t been taking care of himself otherwise. What’d you go and let my brother get attacked by a bear for?”

“Hey, I saved him from the bear. And I helped him feel better afterwards, so I think I deserve a real thank you. But yeah, when I first met him, he was drinking himself to death at a shithole bar in Houston. I was on my way to Georgia, but got into a little trouble, so I had to hide out. Found him in there downing one glass after the next, and he drank my whole bottle of Jack too. I took care of him after he passed out, but I figure he ain’t been so lucky in the past. Who knows how much shit he’s put himself through out of depression drinking. And me an’ him talked a bit about some other stuff, and it sounds to me like he just keeps himself in a steady involvement with no good types, which is only making things worse. Was he covered in scars back when y’all were kids?”

“Scars? Oh yeah, that’s normal. I mean, I wasn’t covered in them, but that’s because I was really good, you know. But Hanzo went through a lot of shit, and I guess now I know why, too. There was a lot I didn’t know about him, actually. Stuff that would’ve been nice to know, stuff that if I had known about, I might’ve been able to use to keep the family together. I guess if I had known though, I’d still be in the clan. But at least Hanzo would be better, probably. There’s no telling with stuff like that. He really deserved better than what he got from the elders, but I was honestly too busy keeping my nose out of their shit to notice how bad it really was. You know, now that I got to talk to him, I kind of wish we could go back in time. Maybe he would tell me the truth this time, and I wouldn’t have killed our father. And then I would’ve been able to confront the elders about their treatment of him, because they would’ve listened to me. You know, if I had known back then what I know now, I could’ve prevented all of that shit.”

“Yeah, but then Overwatch would’ve come in and killed all of you. Then where would you be?”

“I don’t know, I’m sure the clan was working with the Japanese government to keep Overwatch out. And with our clan not having inner turmoil, and me not being like I was about everything, Blackwatch wouldn’t have been able to recruit me. And so they wouldn’t have been able to get a good handle on us anyway, I think.”

“I don’t know, if Reyes couldn’t recruit you to do it, I’m sure me an’ him would’ve gone in and wiped y’all out ourselves. Overwatch didn’t do that kind of dirty work, but I guess us doin’ it is part of the reason why Overwatch fell in the first place. I don’t know Genji, I think if it had gone any other way, you two would be dead. I don’t really like a reality where I never met you two, ya know?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Genji fell silent after that, staring between his legs at the wooden steps he was sitting on. No matter what way he looked at it, there would’ve been tragedy. Maybe this was really the way it was supposed to be all along, and this was the turning point where him and his brother were both able to make peace with what happened all those years ago. Maybe for some twisted reason, these things had to happen to them. It didn’t seem fair, like the universe had played one cruel trick after another on them. If only he had known then what he knew now, he could’ve done something to change the course of fate. No one would’ve had to have died, he wouldn’t be primarily robot now, and his brother might actually be a whole person instead of this broken mess of a man. But there was no way to know that, and the only thing that could be done was to push forward.

Trying to mend the past was harder than it seemed, he guessed. Fixing his brother would take years, maybe even longer than it took for him to fix himself after the incident. He didn’t want to go back to Japan, but maybe there was a way to get his brother to go someplace else where he could heal from everything. It was obvious that he hadn’t done any healing these past years, but probably spent his time reopening wounds that weren’t given the proper care to heal right. Genji thought about that, and all he could think afterwards was that he needed his brother to change, and that he probably needed to change too. Not entirely, but enough to understand each other and be better brothers than they were for each other. Hanzo needed to change enough to let people help him, instead of isolating himself as he always had done, as he was doing now, and Genji figured that he needed to change enough to be the kind of person who could help him. Honestly, he missed his brother too, and changing for him certainly wouldn’t break him.

“Hey Jess, would you do me a favor?” His words broke the silence that had formed, and McCree looked over to him in response. “I want to, I need to try and talk to him. I need him to understand, and I need to understand. Will you help me? I don’t know what you can actually do but, obviously I can’t do it on my own. I thought maybe, maybe he would listen to you if you asked him to stay calm, you know?”

“Yeah, I can do that. Come on, let’s go back inside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Points excitedly at Genji's love for his brother!! You've got this!!


	25. CH 24 Act 6 Scene 6

With Zenyatta following close behind, Hanzo opened the door leading from the dining hall into the courtyard. The first thing he saw when he opened the door was Genji on the other side of the courtyard. Genji was standing frozen with McCree a few steps behind him. They stared at each other, neither pair moving. It wasn't until Zenyatta put a gentle hand to Hanzo's back that he started walking again, and Genji restarted soon after, meeting him in the middle.

“Aniki, I, I think we still have a lot to talk about.”

“I think we do as well. I think I need to let you explain your position, and the monk has offered to help.”

“First, I need to say something.” Genji looked over to McCree then, who gave him a stern nod. “I’m sorry for being a total jackass to you earlier. I was under the false impression that if all that was actually true, you would’ve yelled at me for it a long time ago. I thought that you were trying to blame me for stuff I didn’t do, but I get it now that I just wasn’t the kind of brother you needed back then. I’m probably still not the right kind of guy, but me and Jess talked about it and I think I’m ready to try to be more understanding than I thought I was being.”

“I did not mean for it to sound like I was trying to put all of the blame onto you, so I apologize. You contributed, but were not a main factor in anything. I want to say that I understand that you were only trying to help back then, and I appreciate that you are offering to try other methods instead.” Hanzo spoke softly back to his brother, keeping his head low since he was uncertain if he was to be making eye contact during this exchange. His response granted him a small pat on the back from Zenyatta, who was apparently pleased with the way he handled that interaction.

“Alright so... I’m not sure what to do next.” Genji looked over his brother’s shoulder to Zenyatta, looking for something to push him in the right direction.

“Hanzo, did you not tell me that you were having trouble understanding why Genji did not want to come home with you? Perhaps we can start by addressing that.”

“Without threatenin’ ta kill each other this time, please.” McCree grabbed Genji’s shoulder, a small gesture but one that let him know physical aggression wouldn’t be tolerated.

“Right, I’m not going to do anything. Let’s just talk, like civilized people who care about each other.”

“That is reasonable. So tell me, why do you refuse to come home?”

“Listen,” Genji put his hands out in front of himself, and shrugged his shoulders slightly. “I just, really don’t like it there. It doesn’t feel like home, not like this place does.  Well, not really here, but anywhere Zenyatta is. I’d go anywhere if he was there, because I feel at home with him. Brother, that castle was never my real home. I was an outcast there, because I didn’t believe in what they wanted to teach me. They wanted me to be rough and aggressive, and to kill just because they told me to. I couldn’t live like that, and I’m not sure how you could. But when I came here, and it was so quiet, and no one asked anything of me, I felt truly at home. I felt like they cared about me, like I was valuable as a person and not as a machine to carry out orders. It feels really nice, you know?”

“I am surprised a place full of monks would let you live the way you wished to when you were in Japan. That does not seem like part of their teachings to me.”

“See, that’s what I mean. I’m not like that anymore, where I only care about getting girls. I mean, it totally helps that I can’t actually have sex anymore, too. The only part of my body that’s actually still... Human... Is my brain and my face. The rest of me, yeesh. All metal and silicone.”

“I thought you told me that you and this monk-”

“Shh! That’s different.” Genji cut the other off before he could finish that sentence, not sure how Zenyatta would feel about him having told his brother that small detail. “Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, I’m free here. I wasn’t free in Japan, and I wasn’t free when I was working for Blackwatch. I’ve really found myself here, and I have no intention of going anywhere else.”

“I see...” Hanzo looked from his brother to the ground and back again, and then slightly over at McCree.

“Hey Genji, what was that you wanted to ask him though?” McCree diverted the conversation as he had previously mentioned to Genji, and then leaned in close to his friend to whisper the next part. “Try asking why he doesn’t want to leave and then don’t be a dick about it, would you?”

“Uh huh.” Genji nodded his head, and then looked back to his brother. “Well you know, that’s why I’m doing what I’m doing, you know? So why do you want to keep going back to Japan all the time? Is there something there for you?” He tried wording his question in the most inoffensive way possible, but still felt like somehow he was being too harsh still. He would definitely try to work on that, later.

“Something... There...” Hanzo looked back to the ground again, leading Zenyatta to put an arm around his shoulders. “I have... Nothing.”

“Oh.”

Genji looked away then as well, even though he had expected that to be the case. What could he have? His family was all dead besides him, he was kicked out of the family home, and who knew what he had been doing to get by until this point. Genji figured the only one who would know anything about that would be McCree, of all people, but they hadn’t talked about it earlier.

“Why do you want me to come back so badly if there’s nothing there for you?”

“I was hoping that if you would come back with me, we could stay together, it would be like old times.”

“The old times before I started doing stuff you didn’t like? Old times like when I was 5?”

Hanzo stayed silent instead of answering, knowing full well that the answer to that question was yes but also knowing that asking Genji to go back to being a literal child was an insane. Regardless, every time he had thought about living with his brother again, it was always in that capacity. Genji would stay at home and entertain himself with games and such, and Hanzo would do whatever he needed to do that day. And when he came home, he could sit and talk to Genji while his brother played with his hair and told him funny stories he had made up throughout the day. That’s what he wanted, but it couldn’t be what he would get. Genji was a different person now, with needs and wants that couldn’t be met by being a house brother. Getting a real job to help out was probably out of the question too, since that was something that Hanzo hadn’t even done. He wished they weren’t having this conversation now, since it was only showing him how stupid he had been to think he could relive his childhood.

“Hanzo, do you think there is no other way for you and your brother to get along without him being a child again? Or is this rooted in your desire to be a child again, before you were so terribly harmed that it altered your personality?” Zenyatta spoke instead, breaking the silence that Hanzo had constructed while trying to avoid the question.

“I...” This wasn’t about that, not either of those. He could probably get along with Genji fine now, the way they both were. He also knew that he didn’t need to go back to being a child, because he was doing fine as he was now. He was over everything from back then, right?

“Hanzo, I know your past has scarred you greatly. I am sure that if we were to spend some more time together, I could help you heal properly so that you did not have to delude yourself into thinking that the only way to become whole again would be to pretend you are a child again.” Zenyatta gave his shoulder a slight squeeze with that.

“I do not need help.” He still wasn’t sure about this Omnic, no matter how kind he was to him. He felt that the last thing he needed was to get help from him, while at the same time wondering if he would actually have the power to help him. He hadn’t thought that anyone could help him before, but over the duration of the trip that damned cowboy had done _something_ to him. Stupid.

“I don’t know Han, I think you could use some help. I don’t know what all Mr. Zenyatta is good for, but he might make a really good therapist. I know ya said you’ve seen one before but maybe he can help ya a little more. Oh, Mr. Zenyatta, do you know anythin’ about human psychiatry? Maybe you could help him figure out what’s wrong deep down and we can work on that too!”

“You oaf! I don’t need anything like that. I am fine!”

“You’re fine in the ‘barely hangin’ on’ department, yeah.”

“Hanzo, perhaps he is right. It would be very easy for me to download the relevant information for human psychiatry into my internal storage, and I am sure I could use that information to diagnose your mental impairments so that we can find the best solution and course of action. I do not mean to gloat but I am much more capable of such actions than a human who has merely studied the books, as my memory is infallible.”

“I do not necessarily feel like rehashing all of my trauma to an Omnic.”

“Han. He’s a _friend._ ”

“Hanzo, come on. Stay with us for a while, and talk to Master Zenyatta about what’s happened to you. We can be like, your support group. I’ve been through some stuff, Jess has probably been through some stuff, Master Zenyatta is capable of fixing literally anything, you know.”

“You don’t even know what stuff I’ve been through?” McCree looked to Genji, hurt showing on his face.

“You were in a gang right? I mean it’s kind of the same thing as us, probably.”

“Mr. Zenyatta, if Han won’t take you up on your offer, I will. Apparently even my so-called friends don’t care enough to remember what I tell ‘em.”

“Of course, Mr. McCree.”

“You two need to stop being so formal with each other, good lord. ‘Mr.’ this and ‘Mr.’ that. Are we done with this conversation now?”

“Of course not. You still ain’t asked your brother what I told ya ta ask him.”

“Oh, yeah, right. Hanzo?” Genji let himself fall back into a serious tone, and gave his brother a matching expression. “I was thinking, you know, that maybe instead of you wanting me to go back to Japan, maybe I could want you to stay here with me and Master Zenyatta? I was just thinking that it could be good for you, to get away from Japan where all your bad memories are and hang out with the new and improved Genji Shimada, who’s going to work really hard from here on out to not be a total jerk to you. And now Master Zenyatta is offering to help out with your issues, which I think could be really cool. Just you and me, and Master Zenyatta, traveling around the world and just kind of, getting to know each other again? Like the new us, and not the, not the old us that wanted to kill each other. Does that maybe sound like something you’d like to do?” 

Genji extended his hand a little toward the other man, but Hanzo made no attempt to take it. He just looked at it, unsure of what he was supposed to do with it. Would taking his hand make everything alright? Or would this be yet another failed attempt to feel better? He couldn’t be sure, so he did nothing. He felt the Omnic’s hand come to rest on his shoulder again, which reminded him of the proposition he had brought up earlier. He supposed that this would be the time to give his answer, but there wasn’t much he felt he could do. These two were promising to help him, and even though he didn’t believe anything would actually help, he couldn’t think of anyone else he would rather take help from than his brother despite their past issues.

“Hanzo, also remember what we spoke of earlier. I believe that it would be best for you to go home and tie up your loose ends, and do some spring cleaning. You should definitely try to let your new friend come with you as well, in case you feel you are unable to complete the tasks on your own. It is always nice to have a friend to help you.”

Hanzo nodded an acknowledgment to the monk, not taking his eyes off his brother’s hand. Maybe this would be alright, he would take his hand, and him and the cowboy would go back to Japan, where he could do what he pleased with the remnants of his past. He thought of perhaps burning the castle, but he could hear McCree’s voice telling him that wasn’t very philanthropic. Maybe donating it to the city of Himeji would be better, then, if he could empty it of the scum that was there and reclaim the deed. And then he could sell his things, and put everything he wanted to keep into storage. He could pay off the ratty apartment he had been living out of, and then go meet his brother and his Omnic lover in California. Perhaps a different ocean would help him feel better, as well. And then there was the matter of the cowboy, who he supposed would have to come with him then too. He didn’t seem to have anywhere else to be, and it would help him feel more included if there were four of them instead of just the three. Was that too much thinking?

 “Genji.” Hanzo gave his brother an uneasy look, wanting desperately to believe that this would somehow fix everything. He was given a choice, which shouldn’t have been as hard to make as it was. Take his hand, and he would have to agree to come with them to a different place and heal from all his past trauma while getting to know his brother again. Or he could dismiss this gesture and just return to Japan, where he could sulk by himself and not see his brother again, never knowing if they would be able to mend their relationship, and never knowing if this Omnic could actually help him get over his past. To change, or to stay in the same rut as he had been in the past 15 years, was a choice he had never imagined he would have the ability to make. He could feel all three of the other men watching him, a half-pleading look on his brother’s face. It would be a lot of work to repair things, wouldn’t it? That would be alright. It would be alright because Genji would be there, and that was all that mattered, right? Genji would be there, in a hopefully greater capacity than he ever had been before.

“Aniki?”

“May I have a minute?”

“Of course...” Genji withdrew his hand, and looked over his shoulder to McCree for help. McCree gave him a slight shrug, looking instead to Hanzo.

“Han, you want ta go inside and talk about it for a minute?” He stepped out from behind Genji, leaning toward the other man slightly. Hanzo returned his look with a shrug, and stepped out from under Zenyatta’s arm to go back toward the main building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god you are NOT doing this Hanzo. JUST SAY YES IT'S NOT THAT HARD.


	26. CH 25 Act 6 Scene 7

“You alright there Han?” McCree slid into the main hall behind Hanzo, who had stopped right in front of the statue of Lakshmi. He came up behind him and put his arms around him, a loving gesture that he thought was warranted.

“This should be an easy decision to make, should it not?” Hanzo started straight at Lakshmi, as if he was talking to her and not the other man.

“Well, I think it’s an easy decision. What do ya have hesitations about?”

“Change. I have been living the same life for 15 years now. I have been going to the same set of ramen stands, buying the same things at the corner store, and keeping the same schedule every day for 15 years. Spending the whole of it feeling hopeless, depressed, and believing that I would never find any person who would willingly be around me for anything besides my wealth. But now, now they are offering me a chance to end that cycle. To become something new, that is most likely much healthier than what I am right now.”

“Are ya scared a bein’ better?”

“Yes.” Hanzo closed his eyes, resting his chin on the other man’s arms. “I am scared of you, what you are capable of doing to me. I am scared of Genji, and what he is capable of doing to me. I am not quite sure about this Omnic either, besides the bias against them I was taught while I was growing up. I am sure that if I could make myself believe that he is truly capable of helping my mind, I would also be scared of him as well.”

“I guess that’s, kind a understandable.” McCree shifted to put his head on the other’s shoulder, pressing his lips against his neck at the same time. “I don’t know if I can help with that at all, but I need ya ta know... You know, I don’t just get feelin’s for people an’ follow ‘em halfway around the world for fun. This ain’t like me. There’s somethin’ about you, and I don’t want ta be too scared to admit it. I care about ya, and I know the other two do too. I hope neither of ‘em care about ya like I do, ‘cause that would be really weird. But-”

“Why do you care about me so much, Jesse? Is it some infatuation with how broken I am? I am broken, and terrible. I am the worst person I know, currently, and I am acquainted with quite a few terrible people. What is this ‘something’ about me that you feel like this for?”

“I wish I could tell ya, I really do. It’s not like that though, I swear. It’s just, you. You’re strong, and capable of anythin’ you set your mind to. And I know you’re smart, ya just have a hard time with a lot a life stuff. I just know that it kills me when ya talk down on yourself like that, like ain’t nothin’ you do is any good. I know for a fact that that ain’t true though, ‘cause you told me you did some good stuff. And that’s ok that it’s only some stuff right now, ‘cause I know you can do a lot more if we just get ya in a good place, ya know?”

“Good things done by bad people for the wrong reasons are still bad things.”

“Ok, but it ain’t like that with you. Sure ya only donated to people ‘cause ya thought your brother would like that better. But is that really a terrible reason? You may not a been doin’ it for the love a the people you helped, but you did it ‘cause ya love your brother and want to make him happy. That ain’t too wrong of a reason. It ain’t like ya did all that for publicity, while also doin’ bad things. So I think it’s still a good thing, either way.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so, an’ you’re gonna have ta accept it. Han, I don’t think there’s anythin’ about you that could scare me off. Is that what you’re afraid of with me? Is that I’m gonna leave ya after I make ya feel good about yourself and hurt ya worse?”

“That is part of it, yes. Also, that you may get this close to me and then decide to be a terrible person, and since I have decided to trust you and let you get this close, it would be worse on me. It is the reason I do not let people in this close in the first place.”

“Aww, but I’m special ain’t I? You’re awful special ta me too.” McCree gave Hanzo a soft kiss on his cheek then, prompting Hanzo to tighten his grip on the other’s arms. “Was that scary too?”

“I do not know what I see in you, you are such a fool.”

“I’m goin’ ta be honest, in that I don’t particularly care. I’ll be a fool all day long for you, but you gotta promise me y’aint goin’ ta turn into some sugar prince over it alright?”

“A what now?” Hanzo turned as much as he could to look at the man on his shoulder, suddenly confused by his weird terminology.

“A, I dunno I made it up. I don’t want ya to just start bein’ real fake nice ta me just ‘cause I’m good to ya, alright? I like ya the way you are, real mean and sarcastic where I can get turned on with ya threatenin’ me. I like that, I’m into that.”

“You have a violence kink so you do not want me to be kind to you? Perhaps you do need to take the Omnic up on his therapy offers.”

“No no I mean, I mean like, don’t go being all lovey an’ shit, you know? It would be real weird if I like, came home from a job and you’re all there with roses and cake and shit bein’ all soft, I just-”

“Jesse? I am not going to do anything like that.”

“Thank god. But you can like, ya know, tell me nice things about myself if ya want.”

“I will keep that in mind.” Hanzo went back to resting his chin on McCree’s arms then, looking up at the statue again as if she had something to tell him. “Do you believe that going with them will actually help me?”

“Yeah, I really do. I think you need more friends, and they’d be really good for ya. And I think Mr. Zenyatta could really help ya with your mental stuff and help ya feel better about yourself from the inside. Just how I feel though, how do you feel? Do you think you’d get any good out a goin’ to California and playin’ on the beach with your brother and his lover? I will definitely come with you if ya ask me to, you know.”

“I think I would like that. Part of me thinks that it will be hopeless like everything else, but another part of me would also like to go with them to see what would happen. Also, I would enjoy it if you would come with us. I generally do not like to be around men for this long, but you have grown on me.”

“Then let’s do that. We can just go back out there and tell them that we’ll come with them. I think it would be really fun, myself.”

“I will... I suppose. The Omnic, he wants me to go home first, and clean it out. Throw out things that I do not need anymore, only save the things I will later put into another house that will be nicer for me.”

“Oh yeah, let’s go do that too!” McCree loosened his arms and swung himself around in front of the other, moving his hands up to rest on his shoulders. “Listen, I know I look like I ain’t showered in a week, actually it’s been about a month, I did get caught in the rain a few times but I didn’t have no soap but listen. I would love ta help ya clean your house. You just bring me there and point and I’ll put stuff in the garbage. Unless it’s somethin’ valuable, I’ll put that in a box for ya. And I can help ya decide if somethin’s worth keepin’ or not too, ‘cause I’m really good at that. I ain’t a hoarder so it works out. Are you a hoarder?”

“A hoarder? Possibly. I have a lot of collections.”

“Collections are different probably, but if you’re just collectin’ random stuff that ain’t got no purpose then it’s hoardin’. We’ll just see when we get there alright?”

“Alright.” Hanzo couldn’t look at the statue anymore with this large man in front of him, so he was forced to look at him instead. It wasn’t a bad sight, he decided, but a small smile formed as he really looked at him and started seeing all the dirt that was definitely there. How come he, who used to be able to see such minuscule things, completely missed this man being absolutely covered in dirt? He couldn’t help but smile a bit more just thinking about it, transitioning into a small laugh as well.

“What, you think it’s funny that I want ta help ya clean? Well, I’ll tell ya that I’m really good at it.”

“No, it is not that. I am finding it hilarious that I had sex with a man who has more dirt on him than anything else, and that I am just noticing now because you pointed it out.

“Oh, oh...” McCree bit his lip, starting to smile himself. “I guess it’s kind of a good thing ya didn’t notice before then, right? ‘Cause then we wouldn’t have, I mean not that, you know I needed it but it was, you know-”

“Oh, no. You misunderstand. I find it incredible appealing.”

“Oh, ah, I...” McCree looked away quickly, looking back at the door to make sure no one was there. “You think bein’ the dirtiest guy here is sexy?”

“Did you not say that clean men were snakes? I think I am allowed this.”

“That really ain’t what I meant but... I’m havin’ a real hard time carin’ too much about that aspect. Do you mind if I just...” McCree started to lean in, feeling like this was as good a time as any. He didn’t care at all about where he was, just that he definitely wasn’t leaving this room without a kiss.

“Cowboy, we are in front of a goddess you know.” Hanzo grinned at him, intent on making him suffer instead.

“Oh yeah? What’s she supposed to be the goddess of, anyway? Bein’ gold?” McCree laughed a little at his own joke, mentally avoiding Hanzo’s point.

“She is the goddess of fortune and well-being, apparently. But I doubt she wants to sit by and watch you make fish faces at me.”

“She doesn’t huh?” McCree looked back over his shoulder at the idol, noting how it seemed like she was indeed watching them. He turned back to the other man after, sliding his hands down his arms to hold his hands instead. “Well Genji and Mr. Zenyatta are probably waiting for us, anyway. Maybe we can go out there with them and I can make fish faces, I’m sure neither of them would mind.”

“I- I really doubt that either. I propose we leave this room and never speak to each other again, about this or anything else.”

“Han.”

“Amen?”

“Stop, that’s, that ain’t how that works.”

“I saw it in a western.”

“What part? The leavin’ and never talkin’ to each other again part?”

“The amen part. I have no idea what it means.”

“Amen? Like, after a prayer? Ok we have to go back out there before you start with this shit.”

“Praying... I am still lost.”

“Come on.”

McCree grabbed both his hands then, pulling him back outside where they had left Zenyatta and Genji. The other two men perked up at the sound of their return, both turning to see them. Once they got close, McCree pulled Hanzo around in front of him and pushed him toward his brother, crossing his arms afterward like he had just been punishing him and now it was time for him to learn his mistakes.

“Han, tell Genji what we’re goin’ ta do.”

“Genji.” Hanzo stood awkwardly in front of his brother, meekly looking up at him.

“Hanzo?” Genji looked concerned, confused by the body language of the other two. He had no idea what was going to happen next, or how he was going to react once it was out. “So... What do you think?”

“I, we, your Omnic lover had the idea that perhaps I could go home, and clean my house. And then when I was done, I could come to California with you and he, and then we could, of course, talk some more, perhaps. Once all of my other things are taken care of.”

“Yeah! Hanzo that’s a great idea! You know, if you need anything, I can give you my number. I have a phone in my head, and you can just call me. Would you like to do that?”

“I could... The cowboy is going to come with me, and he is going to help me clean my house. He says he is an expert at throwing things away.”

“I am, I can throw anythin’ away. Paper, couches, anythin’ in between, I got it.”

“That’s awesome! Here, take this too.” Genji pulled a piece of paper out of the shawl he was wearing, seemingly out of nowhere, and wrote a string of numbers using a pen that was built into his finger. “This is my number. I like, never sleep so I can pick up any time. Like, even 2 am if you’re having like, a crisis because Jesse is being stupid.”

“Hey!”

“I see.” Hanzo took the paper from Genji, looking at it right after. “So your number is star 6-9-4-2-0?”

“You still have that same number? It’s been so long!” McCree laughed at this new information, finding it hilarious.

“Hell yeah, 69 420 is my _brand_. I’m 35, but I’ve still got it!”

“Alright alright, what would mine be if I had one a them phones?”

“Probably like, 66 47 5. Those are the most popular routes in the west right? Cowboy trails?”

“That’s... Probably accurate. Han, what do you think your string a numbers would be?”

“Hm?” Hanzo hadn’t looked up from the numbers he had been handed, still trying to figure out the significance of 69 420. Did the star mean anything, or was that just something you had to dial? He was definitely lost in this conversation. “I am still not sure why we are picking numbers.”

“Oh, yeah, see, 69 is a sex position, and 420 is the American police code for marijuana. You know how big into American culture I was back when we were kids right? I mean, I never stopped being into it but that’s just what that’s from.

“Interesting.”

“So uh, when were you two going to do that? You aren’t going to leave tonight, are you? You should at least wait until morning, we have plenty of food! And Master Zenyatta, he can show you to some rooms and you can just rest for a while, you must be tired right?”

“We slept rather comfortably in a bed last night.” Hanzo still hadn’t looked up from the paper, ending up addressing the ground more than his brother.

“I mean, we might not be totally whooped but I don’t think we can’t spend a day here to just, not be walkin’. Don’t ya think so, Han?”

“Do I think?” Hanzo looked up at McCree then, the look on his face conveying that he hadn’t quite been listening.

“Stay here, breathe, eat some real food? Just for a day, then we can head back down the mountain. Actually, now I’m wonderin’ how we’re goin’ ta catch that bus again. It don’t stop at the station, so we might need ta walk all that way back to the city. I really ain’t lookin’ forward ta that.”

“Now that you mention it... That does seem probable that we will not be able to catch the bus on the way back. Perhaps we should not take this small monastery for granted while we are here, if the trip back is going to be a two day trip instead of a one day trip.”

“Good, thank god. Genji, we would like to see your finest room!”

“You may stay in the main house, since no one else is here at the moment.” Zenyatta spoke up for the first time since they had returned, holding out a hand toward the main building. “Will you be needing one room, or two?”

McCree looked toward Hanzo, thinking that they might need to talk about that kind of thing before giving an answer. Hanzo had already made up his mind, though. He had spent this whole trip working to convince himself that this other man was literally the worst man on Earth, but given the choice between spending another night completely alone or taking a controlled risk like he had the night before, he knew what he needed to do.

“Just one will be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Genji is a reverse weeb don't @ me. Leave me alone let me have this-


	27. CH 26 Act 7 Scene 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Japan's finest dumpster, McCree.

“This... Is a mess.”

Hanzo and McCree had spent a couple of nights resting at the monastery with Genji and Zenyatta, but eventually they needed to leave and make their way to Japan to sort out the mess with Hanzo's apartment. It was certainly an easier trip down the mountain than it had been going up. Although in most ways it was more relaxed, the anticipation of the job at the end of this particular journey together built its own tension. As McCree let himself be led into a small room, one with tight walls and soiled carpets, he couldn't help but comment when he saw the state of the place. It was much worse than he had anticipated, and it had a smell that he couldn’t place but knew it wasn’t good.

The corner of the room let out into another room, which held a small bed that was piled full of junk. Looking around, he noted that most of the walls were bare, but that piles of books and magazines littered with more junk were pushed up against them. There was barely any room to walk either, so he ended up just standing still. To his right was a tiny kitchen, which only had a stove, a sink, and a small refrigerator. There was only one countertop that could be used, which was surprisingly cleared off. It only held a toaster and a tray of silverware, leaving plenty of room for something to be set down on it.

“Han, you live like this?”

“Now that I have been to somewhere cleaner, this does look pretty terrible, does it not?” Hanzo stood next to McCree, hugging his sides and looking into his apartment blankly. He knew he had let it get bad, but this was worse than he remembered.

“I’m... Going to need more garbage bags.” McCree took a few steps forward, noting a small but cluttered coffee table that could hold the few boxes he brought. He dropped the folded cardboard onto the trash covering it. Then he pulled out the box of large trash bags from the grocery bag he brought them in, setting them on top of them and pulling one out of the top. “Alright, what part of this place would you like to see the floor of first?”

“Uhm...” Hanzo unloaded his bags and bow to rest them against the wall in the entryway, looking around while he thought. After a minute he pointed into the bedroom area, a concerned look on his face. “The bathroom is in there. We should start there, I believe.”

“Oh, no...” McCree looked toward the bedroom, not even thinking there would be a bathroom. Of course there was a bathroom, and he could only imagine what horrors laid in there. “Alright, let’s... Forge a path.”

McCree moved in that direction, Hanzo going behind him to show him to the right location. He pointed him into a closet, which led directly into the bathroom as if it had been an afterthought after they had built the closet. The floor in there was a little cleaner, with everything having been put on shelves in the closet or stuffed under the clothing racks. There were even a couple totes back in there, which McCree decided he could use for packing the valuables later. The bathroom didn’t have a door to it, leading McCree to assume that if you wanted privacy you would have to just shut the closet door. Interesting setup, although inconvenient.

The bathroom wasn’t as bad as the rest of the apartment, but it was pretty bad. Rugs were laid on the floor in front of the stand-up shower and toilet, which obviously had never been washed. Clumps of cut hair littered the rest of the floor, as if they had tried to be swept up but were missed. The counter was mostly clear, with just an old hairdryer, contact solution, and a tray of eyeshadow. McCree wondered about that last one but decided it didn’t matter. The main issue with the counter was how filthy the tops were, since they were covered in some kind of residue that you could see with the naked eye. The sink was also a catastrophe, with it being full of hair and toothpaste and splotches of black from some unknown source. McCree looked over to the shower then, knowing that had to be where the mess was, but only opened it to find that it was probably the cleanest part of the whole place.

“This is where you want to start? This place is bad, but not a disaster like the rest of it.”

“We should start small. Also, my toilet is clogged and I have not felt well enough to fix it.” Hanzo smiled to the other man, still holding himself.

“Alright, I see what’s going on here. You got ta pee real bad.” McCree smiled back at him, deciding that starting small wouldn’t be a bad idea. In the next minute he had started on the toilet, and it was fixed quickly. “There, now what?”

“Just... Pick something.”

“Alright, let’s put these counter things away. What should I do with them?”

“Throw them away. Besides that bottle. Also, I have all these drawers.” Hanzo reached over and pulled out the top drawer closest to the door, revealing it to be entirely filled with miscellaneous hair ties. “I haven’t thrown anything out.”

“You just, hide it. Well, that’s kind a clean.” McCree shrugged, and afterwards unfolded the garbage bag he had grabbed and flipped it out. He pulled out the whole drawer then, dumping all the contents into the bag before carefully pushing it back in where it came from. “Are all the drawers like this?”

“Jesse, I will tell you that the only thing I use, are the things in the cabinet under the sink and the shirt in this bottom drawer. Everything else you can throw out besides the contact solution, alright?”

“Got it.”

McCree didn’t need to be told twice, starting to pull out drawers and dump them out. He didn’t even look to see what was in them, knowing that none of it was important. He did the whole thing like that, pulling out drawers and dumping them. He saved the old shirt, and found a small first aid kit that was still full of goodies, putting them and the bottle of solution off to the side. After all the drawers were dumped and the counter cleared, he took a sponge out of his bag to start cleaning in earnest. Hanzo just watched him, unsure if he could be of any use but deciding that he would not be helpful if he tried to be. He figured the best thing for him to do at this point was just stand here, watching.

McCree used his sponge and a bottle of 409 to scrub down the counters, moving next to the front of the cabinets and then back to the sink. He scrubbed the sink hard, gathering the hair into the drain so it was easier to get out. The drain was just a metal plate with holes in it, which caught everything instead of sending it straight down. It took him a bit, but he finally got the sink looking nice.

“Did you know this sink is full of paint, Han?”

“Yes.”

“Did you... Do that?”

“No, it has been like that since I moved in. I tried at first to get it out but I could not.”

“I see.”

McCree thought about the paint situation but decided that it would have to stay there. It was white like the sink, so he doubted anyone would really notice it unless they really looked at it. He then went under the sink to gather those supplies, finding toilet bowl cleaner and some air freshener.

“Oh, you did try to clean at some point. Mind if I use these?” He picked up the toilet bowl cleaner first, holding it up so the other could see.

“I don’t mind. I have only used it once, I believe.”

With that, McCree set to work on the toilet, putting the cleaner in the bowl and scrubbing it with the brush that had been behind it. After that was set, he wiped down the rest of it, especially the top which had accumulated most of the filth. Still waiting for the cleaner to do its job, he decided to move onto the shower and try to clean it. It was pretty clean already, but he knew there was mildew in there. He set to work on that then, using his sponge and the 409 again. He knew he should’ve brought some bathroom cleaner, but this shower didn’t have any tile in it, just plastic walls and a plastic floor with a metal drain, and a glass door. The 409 would work fine. He found a rack of shower supplies on the wall under the showerhead, taking those down to set outside before he really got started. After that, it only took him about 15 minutes to get the shower looking and smelling as clean as the rest of the bathroom, and he stepped out of it to admire his work there.

“Alright, all you have to do now is remember to flush the toilet at some point. It probably still needs to sit for a little while, but other than that-” McCree cut himself off as he looked toward the floor, suddenly remembering the rugs that had to be filled with at least 10 years of filth. “Other than that, we should really get these rugs in a washer. Or would you rather just throw these out too?”

“We can throw them out. They are very old.” Hanzo flipped the corner up on the one closest to him with his foot, revealing the rubber underside to be yellowed and peeling off.

“Done.” McCree carefully picked up the two rugs, rolling them up into each other to contain the dirt. He shoved them into the garbage bag immediately after, which he set right outside in the closet so he could see the floor. It was covered in hair, long hair and clumps of short hair. Judging by the razor in the sink cabinet, he knew it had to all be Hanzo’s that he cut himself. “Do you have a broom?”

“It is in the kitchen.”

“Could you grab it for me?”

“Oh.” Hanzo had just stood and looked at him before, but now realized he should have offered to go and get the broom for him. He left then, returning a moment later with a nice new-looking broom and an attached dust pan.

“This is a nice broom.” McCree took it from him, starting to sweep as soon as it was in his hands.

“I bought it a few years ago. The only thing I sweep is the kitchen and the bathroom. And that is not very often.”

“I uh, you should probably try and sweep more often.” McCree resisted the urge to tell him that was obvious, sticking instead to the task at hand.

The two fell silent then, with McCree sweeping the bathroom and Hanzo just watching him. McCree was done quickly, and swept the pile of hair and dirt he had accumulated into the dustpan. He turned then to find the garbage, but found the small can to be completely overflowed. He changed direction then, stepping slightly past Hanzo in the doorway to just dump it in the bag in the closet. He went back to the small toilet garbage then, dumping the entirely of it into the bigger bag. He pulled the small can back out, holding it out to Hanzo for inspection.

“Did you want to keep this?”

“I suppose I should. Garbage cans are expensive.”

“Yeah, they can be. Alright, then I’m going to put your stuff you want to keep in this and set it in here alright?”

“Alright.”

McCree put the things Hanzo had said he wanted to keep in the small trash can. He set it in the middle of the floor, right where they could see it, just so he knew they wouldn’t leave without it.

“Okay, so do you want to just go in a path from here? Let’s try and clean up this closet.”

McCree stepped past Hanzo again, putting himself right in the middle of the long walk-in closet between the bathroom and the bedroom. The wall on his left was bare, save for a line of bows leaned against it on the ground. There was also a small cart folded against the far side, right behind the door which they had left open. The wall on the right was a built-in shelf unit, with poles at the bottom filled with hung clothes. Every shelf was full of random things: the top shelf closest to the ceiling was filled with boxes that hung over the edge, the two under that on the far right were filled with shoes, the one under the furthest right one was filled with what looked to be material scraps, and the one beneath it was full of clean towels. There were two taller shelves between the others and the wall to the left, which were piled high with pairs of jeans and bed sheets, respectively. Beneath the shelves on the right were drawers, and McCree silently hoped they weren’t full of garbage. He opened the top one, finding that it was empty.

“The top two do not have anything in them. I had packed the last of my clean socks and underwear for this expedition and have not had a chance to wash them.”

“Oh, so this stuff ain’t goin’ ta be full of garbage. I like that, this will be super easy.” McCree pulled one of the totes out from under the hung clothes, opening it to reveal a smaller tote hidden inside. “Did ya pack all this stuff into these totes ta get here?”

“No, I mainly carried them in bags. The totes were for my kitchen things and other hard items.” Hanzo paused a moment to look over all his clothes he never wore before continuing. “Actually, most of the things in this apartment I brought in afterwards.”

“Oh, so we ain’t even got enough boxes to put your stuff in anyway. Alright, so what we’re goin’ ta do is put everythin’ you want ta keep in a certain area and then go find some more boxes. I brought them few out there but... I really underestimated how much shit you have here.”

“Most of it is not worth keeping, I am sure.” Hanzo gestured to the drawers beneath the ones he said held socks and underwear. “Everything in those drawers are things I brought from home that do not fit me any longer. I had a time when I wanted to branch out and do crazy things, and so I collected these clothes from my old closet. I found out they did not fit me soon after, but I have not gotten rid of them.”

“Really now.” McCree couldn’t help but wonder what kind of “crazy things” this sophisticated man could have wanted to do, so he opened the first of the drawers to get an idea. In there was a collection of brightly colored jeans, neatly folded to fit more than the drawer was designed to hold. “Are these emo jeans?”

“I do not know what they are called in America. They are very tight and look very nice on me if I could fit in them.”

“Did you also wear your hair in your face and think chains were cool?”

“I at one point tried to wear a chain dog collar until my mother removed it from my belongings. I have still never found it.”

“Han. You were one a those guys, one a them emo guys. Did ya listen to music about killin’ yourself and bein’ sad and shit?”

“Oh, hold on. Would you like to hear what I listen to?”

“Do you still listen ta that shit?!” McCree gave Hanzo the most incredulous look he could muster, his hand still in the drawer of pants.

“I have a lot of American music.”

Hanzo disappeared into the other room for a few minutes, and McCree stayed still. He wasn’t sure what to expect from this, and he couldn’t deny that he was a little scared to find out.

“Here.” Hanzo came back, holding a device that looked to be a very old phone. “Perhaps you know this one.” He fiddled with the device for a few seconds, stopping once music started to play.

“What the hell is this?” McCree listened, but it didn’t sound like the “emo” music the people used to listen to when he was in school.

“His name is Luke Bryan. He is from the twenty-teens. It is old country.”

They both stood there after that, listening to this man sing a song about taking his girlfriend to the middle of nowhere because he knew that’s where she’d rather be than in the city. He promised to make her a catfish dinner, and then they would have great sex.

“This don’t sound like any country I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard a lot of it.” McCree was transfixed by this strange song claiming to be country, but the theme of the song was definitely rooted in country life. It had a pop-like beat, country words, and the instruments of a rock band. He kind of liked it, if he was being honest.

“Do you like it?” Hanzo didn’t look up at him, instead running his finger on the screen in search of another song that might be better.

“Yeah, actually. It’s kind a cool.”

“What about this one?”

Hanzo turned on a different song as soon as the first ended, a slower song. There was a nice guitar, electric, playing a sad melody. It led into a man with a deep voice, singing in a sad voice. He started listing items, things that he had one of, before it became apparent that he had just gotten divorced and was taking a mournful inventory of everything there had used to be two of before his wife left him. He was very upset about it, and the longer the song went on the more you could feel that he was about to cry over losing this woman.

Hanzo laughed a little, supposedly at this man’s plight, and immediately switched over to another song that was faster. A different man was singing this one, and it was exceptionally upbeat, even more so than the first one. This guy seemed happier than the last but was also singing about a woman who left. He didn’t seem to mind that she was gone as much as the guy before him did, instead he actually sounded joyful. He compared her being gone to a 1959 Cadillac, a freight train, and “all the good things that ain’t never comin’ back,” despite still sounding like he was happy she was gone.

“I like to believe they are singing about the same woman, but that this man was gay for the first man and he is glad his friend divorced his wife so he can now have a shot.” Hanzo had a big smile on his face, still staring at the device. “These two men are in the same band, this is the same band as the second song. I like them a lot.”

“Do uh, do they only sing about women leavin’ ‘em?” McCree was interested in this, even more than he thought he would be. On top of it all, Hanzo seemed to be actually enjoying himself showing him this music.

“No, of course not. There is this one, about their hometown. And this other one, no he is still singing about her in that one. Oh, this one where they sing about people who are down on their luck enjoying music in a bar. And this one is about not judging people you do not know until you have walked in their shoes. Oh, Jesse. Certainly you have heard of this man? Garth Brooks?” Hanzo didn’t even look at McCree for a response, instead just switching the song to one that everyone should know. “This one is very good, and this is the live version so it has an extra verse.”

The popular “Friends in Low Places” started playing as soon as he stopped talking, and Hanzo looked up at McCree giddy with excitement. No one in Japan had ever wanted to be around him, let alone listen to his American music. He knew that out of anyone, McCree would have the greatest appreciation for his vintage country music. McCree smiled back at him, still not sure where the hell he got all of this ancient music. Hanzo was looking at him like he was supposed to know what this was, but he was honest that none of this sounded familiar. Is this what country music used to be? He liked it, more than he had expected to, but it did have that old .mp3 sound texture to it. He figured that listening to music in this manner was definitely just like listening to one of those big round black things with a needle a century ago.

“This is his best song, I am sure. It is the only one by him on this device. Oh, there is also this one, it is very good t-”

“Hey Han? Where did ya say you got all this music from?” McCree interjected before Hanzo could put on another song, because he knew he would get caught up in this situation and forget to ask this burning question.

“This?” Hanzo turned the device to face him, showing him its bright glass screen. “I found it in the dumpster.”

“The dumpster? What fuckin’ dumpster?” Finding a working device with ancient music on it in the dumpster sounded like a lie, and McCree was having trouble believing it.

“Oh uhm, at my home, the castle, around in that neighborhood there was this older man who lived in the dumpster. He found it in there and sold it to me for 5,000 En. He told me it was a mystical device that could tell the future in the hands of the right person, and I thought it was funny. I took it to a repair store, and they told me they could not fix it because it was too old. I showed them some money and they changed their mind, so now I have this elderly phone full of nothing but antique music. Oh, there are also some text message conversations between the owner and their friends, and their mother. I used to read them and live vicariously through the person who used to own it. Also, it has this application on it that plays sounds like a storm, and it helps me sleep. I had the battery replaced to something more advanced and now I can listen to the music and play the rain sounds and it will only get low on battery once every three or four weeks.” Hanzo stopped talking long enough to direct his attention back to the phone, and started playing another song promptly after. “This is Diamond Rio. It is the only song of theirs I have, I believe they were a one-hit wonder. He is so in love with this person that he is messing up everything in his daily life. I always believed he was exaggerating, but...”

“But what?” McCree didn’t want him to stop talking at this point. He wondered if he had had this phone with him during the trip, and if so, why hadn’t he ever seen it before now? It was obviously something he was very attached to, at any rate, because not once had he ever been this excited to talk about anything before.

“But I suppose some people just act stupid around people they are in love with, is all.”

“Well, the way you said it sounded like this was something you just recently changed your mind on, is all.”

“Perhaps I met someone who acts stupid around people he likes.” Hanzo looked up at the other man then, content with the song that was on for now.

“Yeah, Genji did act really funny every time we were all around Mr. Zenyatta.”

“Oh.” Hanzo looked back down at the phone then, starting a search for another song.

“Did you mean someone else? ‘Cause I ain’t goin’ ta lie to ya, I act stupid all the time.” McCree smiled at him, unsure if he had made some kind of mistake here or not.

“I know that. Oh, this one is nice too. This is probably more of what you assumed I listened to, it is a little harder.” He switched suddenly from the country to alternative rock, playing a song called “Without You.”

He stood and stared at the bar at the bottom counting the seconds the song played, choosing to listen to the song instead of entertain the other man. McCree was slightly confused, almost concerned at how suddenly he switched genres. The words were easy to understand, and despite the sound the song seemed to be a love song, in whatever backwards way it was trying to get that message across. The man was singing to someone, telling them that he refused to go on without them, but then the next line he was saying that he forgave them, would forget them, and that was the end. The song ended after a few repetitions of the chorus, and Hanzo paused the playback so another wouldn’t play after it before looking back up to McCree.

“I apologize. We should keep going on this mess so we do not waste all day on it.” He left then, going to take the old phone back to where he had retrieved it from and leaving McCree to wonder what in the hell just happened. He took a deep breath as soon as Hanzo left, reaching into his back pocket to pull out a spare bag he had stuck back there earlier. It wouldn’t take but a few minutes to take all the clothes out of here and throw them into bags, so he figured it would be best to just start doing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Way to go McCree, you made him sad.
> 
> I have no imagination so Hanzo's apartment is literally laid out just like mine. I was there, I could see it, makes it easier to write.


	28. CH 27 Act 7 Scene 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sentimentality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By reading this chapter you lose your right to @ me about the ending. I know it's not canon but who in this cast even has any lore?? None of them it's my city now. I love pain.

McCree tried to start on the closet but realized that he wasn’t sure what they were going to keep from in here. Certainly he didn’t want to keep those old skinny jeans, so McCree went ahead and threw them in the garbage. The next drawer down was full of t-shirts, and after rifling through them found basketball shorts in the bottom.

“Han?” He didn’t know what to do with these, so he was just going to ask. Unfortunately Hanzo hadn’t come back yet, so calling to him was all he could do. “What all do you want to keep in here?”

“Just the,” Hanzo came back then, holding the box of bags that had been left in the other room and a can of soda “The bed sheets, and some shirts. And my coats.”

“You have coats?” McCree looked around then, up to the large place to the left of the drawers. There were several coats there, ranging from light jackets to leather jackets to full winter coats. “Does it even get that cold here to need these? I mean, it’s the beach.”

“I do not live on the beach. But no, it does not. I just collect them. I like them, and I can bring them with me when I travel to colder climates.” Hanzo dropped the box on the floor between them before taking a big drink from his can. “Mainly I have trouble deciding which one to wear because I only like to wear two of them, even though I have so many. I like looking at the others and imagining wearing them, instead.”

“You just like ta have coats? Alright then. You want all a them?” McCree spoke as he flipped out the next bag, holding it in one hand as he used the other to start taking down the coats to throw them in.

“Yes.” Hanzo didn’t know what he should be doing at this point, so he resigned himself to just standing in the doorway drinking his soda instead of helping in any capacity. McCree finished shoving the coats in quickly, and opened a new bag after tossing the first back into the bathroom.

“What else?”

Hanzo pointed to the shirts hanging on the bottom rack with his free hand, signifying that was something he wanted to keep.

“All of ‘em?”

“Yes. I like those shirts.”

McCree started unhanging the shirts in the next minute, tossing them all into the bag one after the other without folding them.

“There’s still a lot a room in this bag, you want something else in here?” The less than 20 shirts from the rack didn’t even fill the bag halfway, and McCree decided it would be a waste to not put anything else in there.

“Uhm...” Hanzo looked around the shelves, trying to find something that was worth keeping in this mess. He landed on the bed sheets he had mentioned wanting to save earlier and pointed his finger at those. “Those are worth keeping. They are already folded for you.”

McCree pulled the sheets out from under a pile of pants, which all looked to be identical, and threw them into the bag as well. They were only thin sheets though, so they didn’t do much to fill up the bag either.

“You have anything else?”

Hanzo looked around the closet for a few minutes, but didn’t see anything he couldn’t live without. He did remember his pair of waraji that he had for some other occasion, and went to digging them out of the shelf that was nearest to him. He pulled them out after a minute, holding them out to McCree to throw in the bag.

“What the hell are those? Some kind a sandals?” McCree took them from him and turned them side to side, trying to understand how they worked.

“They are a sort of traditional sandal. They are made of straw rope. I do not think those would fit you though, I am sure you would need the other size.”

“The other size? Do they only come in two sizes?” McCree held them up to look at the soles, mentally measuring them to see if he really couldn’t wear them.

“Yes. That is the smaller size and there is a larger size. Also, since you are trying to look at the sole, they do not measure that way. The sole comes up on the back slightly which makes it a bit shorter.”

“Oh.” McCree tried to understand how that would work, still looking them over instead of putting them away. “Do ya think you could show me?”

“Show you?” Hanzo laughed a little at him, but only got a serious look in response. “I would have to change to the other socks, if that is what you want.”

“Other socks? You wear socks with these?” McCree was more interested now, having dropped the bag in his other hand to get a better look at these sandals. He ran a hand over the inside of them, only to find that they were pretty rough.

“Yes.” Hanzo dug in the pile where he had gotten the waraji from, pulling out a pair of folded socks shortly after. “These are tabi, they are to be worn with the waraji.”

“What’s so special about ‘em?”

“They have toes.” Hanzo sat on the floor then, pulling off his socks and exposing his small feet. He then unrolled the tabi socks, putting them on immediately after. “See?”

“Yeah...” McCree stood where he was, just staring at the other man’s feet. He hadn’t remembered him taking off his shoes when they got there, and suddenly realized that he hadn’t seen Hanzo’s feet the whole time he’d known him. Not that that was strange, but there was that time in the cave and he distinctly remembered that he didn’t take them off then, which had led McCree to think that for some reason he didn’t have feet. That was stupid to think about at this point, now that he could see them and see that they existed and were really small, and really, really cute.

“Cowboy, is there something wrong? You can hand me the waraji and I will show you how they are worn.”

McCree shook his head ever so slightly, knocking his mind out of the place it had found itself in long enough to hand over the sandals. Hanzo put them on immediately, wrapping the ropes around his ankles like he had hundreds of times before. When he was finished he stood back up, looking toward McCree expectantly.

“See how they come up here?” Hanzo picked his foot up and pointed to the heel. “It takes off quite a bit that way. This is why I said that they would not fit you.”

“Yeah, yeah I see.” McCree looked where he was shown, but he seriously could not get over Hanzo’s small feet. The shoes he usually wore covered them entirely, making them seem cybernetic with the added effect of making them look bigger. He wondered if that was the point, to have shoes that made his feet look bigger. McCree didn’t understand that, since smaller feet would make for a better ninja, he figured. Either way, he wasn’t wearing those shoes now and McCree didn’t know how much work he was actually going to be able to do now that he could see the other’s feet.

“Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“It is not that serious.”

McCree looked back up at Hanzo’s face then, a quizzical expression plastered on his face. Did he miss something he said, or was he just staring too intently at those tiny little feet?

“Oh yeah, I mean, yeah. It’s just a foot.”

“I meant about the waraji, you do not need to spend all day examining them. Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah I just, was thinkin’ about how I hadn’t seen you have feet before now.”

“How did you think I was walking, then?”

“I mean, your shoes make your feet an’ legs look like they ain’t real feet an’ legs is all. I thought they were like, made like Genji is all over or somethin’.”

“You thought someone cut off my legs and I lived long enough to go get another pair from the robotics store?”

“Well I hadn’t really thought it through ya know, it just looked like that.”

“Interesting.” Hanzo sat back down on the floor again, carefully untying the waraji so they could throw them in the bag. He pulled the tabi socks off too, rolling them back up and laying them on top of the sandals. He replaced the socks he had been wearing after that, standing back up afterwards to hand McCree both the shoes and socks.

“So uh, what else is in that pile over there? Anythin’ we need a bag for?” McCree decided to find something else to think about, choosing the most obvious thing he could think of in the pile of unknown things on the shelf by the door.

“Oh, these are old things. They do not belong to me.”

“Do you want ta keep ‘em? Your shoes and socks were in there.”

“I do not know what purpose they would serve if I kept them.” Hanzo pulled out a neatly folded kimono top from the pile, unfolding it carefully and holding it up to show McCree. It was white and orange, and completely stained with blood. “This one is mine, actually.”

“Do I want ta know what happened with that one?” McCree wanted to know on one hand, but on the other he thought he might already know. There was no way that was just all the blood culminated from his life of crime that had never been washed off, so there was only one other thing he could think of.

“I never wore this after the night I killed Genji. He did not land one hit on me, because he was not trying to. All of this is his blood.” Hanzo looked at it for a good minute before folding it back up and laying it back on top of the pile, pulling out another, longer kimono next. “This was my mother’s, and I only have it because I have no way to cope with the fact that she is gone still. I stole this from home when I left so the elders would not throw it out.”

He unfolded this one too, the bottom of it coming nearly to the ground. It was a dark grey, with pink flowers sewn into it from the top to the bottom. McCree looked at it softly, understanding the sentiment more than he would like to.

“You know, I don’t think that’s a bad thing or anythin’. Ta keep that around.”

“Do you think so? I feel foolish now that I am showing it to you.”

“Well, I’ll make you feel a little less foolish if ya want.”

“How do you suppose you will do that?” Hanzo looked to the other man with that, pulling the garment close to him instead of holding it out.

“Well I’ll tell ya a story. Ya see, my family was pretty small. I had my mamá and my dad, and my half sister who was 7 years older than me. I didn’t get ta see my dad too much ‘cause a his job, so I spent a lot a time with my mamá and sister. And I got to be real close with my sister, and she was always the one who watched out for me and had my back. I’d call her in an emergency before I called either of my parents. We was just, really close.”

“I understand that.”

“Well see I was a really dumbass kid. When I was 15, I thought it would be a fun idea ta drop out a school where I wasn’t learnin’ anythin’ and go hang out with the older boys who smoked and carried knives. I didn’t tell no one ‘cause I knew I’d get in trouble, which was the worst thing. But they ended up bein’ in this gang, the Deadlock gang, and I ended up joinin’ it too. It was real fun for a while, but then they gave me a gun and taught me ta shoot and that’s when we started gettin’ into real trouble. We pulled off a lot a arms smugglin’, and made a lot a powerful enemies with other gangs and the police. Since I was a kid, word got around that I was the weak link in the operation and some guys set me up. They wanted me ta get a little ‘tougher,’ wanted to give me incentive ta kill people on their behalf. Up ‘til then I was just runnin’ for ‘em, havin’ a gun for show and ta play with.”

“What did they do to you?” As McCree spoke, Hanzo tightened his grip on his mother’s robes. His whole life had been built around “toughening him up,” so he could only image what a bunch of American gang people would do to a new recruit.

“They didn’t do nothin’ ta me. They kidnapped my sister.” McCree took a deep breath, looking off to the side before speaking again. “My gang came an’ told me one a the other gangs did it, held her up in the supermarket parkin’ lot and took her out to the middle a nowhere. They sent me over to go get her, ‘cause it was my problem now since I was the one it affected. It was the other gang, you know, that was there when I got there. But I don’t know how they could’ve known anythin’ without some a my gang tellin’ ‘em about it. Anyway, I went over there and you know I was ready ta just kill ‘em all, and I did. Anyone I saw, I could hit ‘em no matter how far away they were. Guess that part worked. But they couldn’t stop there I guess, they wanted ta really piss me off. They made sure she was dead ‘fore I got there.”

“Jesse...”

“Nah, it’s alright. I’m just tellin’ ya the long story ‘cause I like ya. But anyway, it hurt me and my mamá pretty bad. I was able to get her back, and give her a proper burial, and she still had her phone on her. My mamá was too torn up about it ta get rid of anythin’, and had this idea to pay her phone bill for her.”

“Why... Why would that matter at all?”

“Because, you call someone’s phone and they don’t pick up, you go to voicemail. And we could hear her voice on there.” McCree reached into his pocket then, pulling out a small box. “I ain’t got the money to pay the bill every month anymore, so I just recorded it and put it on this. I don’t go nowhere without it.”

“That is...” Hanzo lowered his head, pressing his mother’s robes into his face and breathing deep. “It is not so foolish anymore.”

 

 

_"Hey this is Jessica. I'm busy or you wouldn't be talking to a machine. Leave your name and number and I'll call you back. If this is Jesse, I know. I'm already on my way. I love you and I'll be there soon."_


	29. CH 28 Act 7 Scene 3

Another half hour passed as the men emptied the closet, having filled two bags with things Hanzo wanted to keep. He did end up keeping his family’s robes but decided it would be best to throw out the one of his that was drenched in blood. McCree had convinced him it was time to let go and stop blaming himself, even making him throw away the shirt himself. The rest of the things were thrown into other bags, which McCree drew big X’s on with a fat marker to designate that they were trash. He left them sitting in the closet, moving then to the bedroom.

“Okay so... This room, I’m not sure how you sleep here.” McCree looked around, his attention mainly drawn to the tall desk on the right wall and the bed piled full of stuff shoved into the opposite corner.

“There is this spot here.” Hanzo walked over and pointed to the far side of the bed against the wall, where there was a small spot that wasn’t covered in trash. “This is enough room for me. The bed is very large.”

“Let’s... Start with the floor. And then we can move on to the bed, and maybe take those sheets off and wash them. You have a washer?”

“Yes.” Hanzo pointed toward the entryway, to a pair of slatted doors to its right. “There is a washer and dryer in that closet.”

“Perfect.” McCree pulled out a bag, fluffing it out in a motion he was getting better at and holding it in one hand as he started picking up stuff off the floor. “We’ve got candy wrappers, packagin’ from stuff, is this a plastic spoon?” He lifted up a used spoon from the floor, making a disgusted face at it. “Don’t ya have a garbage can in here?”

“I do, yes.” Hanzo pointed to a round gold can sitting to the left of the desk, a foot operated one with a lid. The lid was open, with garbage piled up on it carefully and more garbage all around the base of the can. “I haven’t taken it out yet.”

“Do you remember the last time you took it out?” McCree moved over to the can, pushing the stuff piled up into his bag. He then upturned the can into the bag, realizing after he did so that there had been a bag in there to hold the trash. It had fallen into the can, rendering it useless.

“I think it was a couple months ago.” Hanzo watched him, slightly ashamed of himself for how bad the garbage in here was.

After dumping the can, McCree moved back to the floor and finished picking up the rest of the trash. Small containers, used plastic ware, wooden chopsticks, the trash was varied and everywhere. He eventually got everything picked up, tying the knot on the bag with a huff as he examined his work.

“Alright, floor is... Picked up. We will definitely need to go over it with a vacuum though.”

“I have one of those too.” Hanzo pointed back toward the closet by the door, the one that held the washer and dryer. “It is in there with the mop.”

“Perfect!” McCree tossed the garbage bag over toward the closet door, having drawn an X on it as well. He pulled out another bag in the next motion, readying it to be filled with more trash. “So what about this bed? Anything on it you want to keep or is this all trash?”

“I am... Not sure.” Hanzo turned to face the bed, starting to pick things up off of it. Mainly it was full of paper plates and take-out boxes, which he handed to McCree to throw in the bag. He handed him dirty paperware one after the other, finally finding the bottom of the pile where the bed sheets were visible. “I suppose it was all trash.”

“I have no problem believing that, at this point.” McCree laughed a little at that, looking over the now clean bed which was much larger than he had thought it was. “This is like, a queen size ain’t it?”

“I do not know. I did when I moved in because I had to buy new sheets for it. But I have forgotten. Do you want to do the sheets now?”

“Sure.”

Hanzo started pulling the sheets off the bed, untucking the top sheet to get to the fitted sheet and then the mattress cover. He rolled them all three up together, holding them out to McCree afterwards.

“The washer is on the bottom.”

“Alright, I’ll go put them in. You have detergent in there?”

“It is on the shelf.”

McCree went over to the closet, opening it to reveal a stacked washer and dryer. The left side of the closet held a tall garbage can, a nice sized vacuum, a mop and bucket, and several collapsed boxes of varying sizes. There was a shelf above those things, with laundry supplies on it. The top of the shelf was bare besides a bag that looked like it had something big wrapped up in it. He chose not to worry about that, as he was sure they would get to this closet eventually. Instead, he unrolled the sheets and shoved them into the washer individually, throwing a small packet of detergent in after them before starting the wash cycle.

“Alright, done. Now let’s start on that desk situation.” McCree came back over to stand next to Hanzo, looking at the desk that was piled full.

There were two computers on the lowest level, a small desktop monitor shoved back to the left corner with its tower on its side on the shelf above it. The other was a laptop, an older model that looked to have been well used. Behind it was a lamp, a cup full of pens, and a small stacking jar filled with paperclips and pushpins. The shelf above them held a stack of sketchbooks and journals, piled up high enough to reach the underside of the top shelf. Next to them was a stack of note cards, a package of envelopes, and a small wooden box with papers laid on top. The computer tower to the right was also stacked with things, such as a large rubber stamp, a pair of computer headphones, and a stack of retro CDs. The top shelf seemed to be more organized, only being filled with books. There were a few games on the front corner, and a box for a Lego set that had never been built. Notebooks were stacked on the other corner, spiral bound ones in various colors.

“We’ll probably need a box for this, I think. Why don’t we set all the stuff you want ta keep into piles on the bed, like a pile for stuff you want ta keep in storage, like maybe the used notebooks, an’ a pile for stuff you’re goin’ ta keep usin’, like the computers. Does that sound good? Then we can just throw the rest of this stuff away.”

“That seems fair.” Hanzo reached over then, unplugging all the cords out of the laptop to turn around and set it on his bed. He then started gathering up all the cords, wrapping them around themselves and pulling the ends through the loops to make a knot before putting them on the bed as well. He started working on the desktop computer afterwards, uncovering the keyboard from the various notecards stuck in it and unplugging all the cords to wrap those things up as well.

“You want ta just hand me stuff you don’t want anymore and I can throw it away?” McCree picked up the notecards off the desk, examining them to see if they were important. Most them of only had numbers on them, but a few of them were filled with wide and clean Japanese handwriting.

“I would have to go through the cards to see which I do not need any longer.” Hanzo took the cards from him, looking at them himself. He tossed a couple back down to the desk, handing McCree the rest of them. “I do not need these. You may have them.”

“Alright, I’ll take them.” McCree stuck the lot of them into his pocket instead of the trash, casually even though Hanzo watched him the whole time. He was given a quizzical look, but he couldn’t think of a plausible response. “One day I’ll be able ta read ‘em, so they better not say anythin’ weird alright?”

“Are you going to lean Japanese specifically to read my notes?” Hanzo gave him a small smile, finding that a little charming.

“Might as well learn the whole language, just ‘cause I think it would be neat. I hear it’s not a hard language, so I might just try.”

“That’s... Unnecessary, but I really appreciate it.” Hanzo turned away then, smiling even more but to himself instead. He picked up a few other items from the desk, handing them back to McCree to designate them as trash.

He cleared off the whole bottom level of the desk himself, giving the garbage to McCree and setting the things he wanted to keep on the bed. He ended up throwing out all of the writing utensils he had, only keeping a couple. One was a silver pen with scallops engraved on it and the crest of the Shimada clan on the golden clip. The other was a normal blue pen, and after a questioning look from the other man, Hanzo pulled it apart to show it had a knife in it. Other than that, Hanzo kept the stacked jars of paperclips and pushpins, the holder the pens were in, a small nail kit that only contained three nail clippers and a small file, and a tiny pair of sewing scissors that had obviously never been used for that craft.

Next he moved to the lower shelf, taking down the stacks of sketchbooks and journals first. There had been some other stuff in there as well, like beautiful blank invitation cards still in their box, a random book that seemed to be about some legal matter, and a box of colored pencils. He set all the sketchbooks and journals on the bed, looking over the invitations before handing them to McCree.

“What are these for, anyway?” McCree looked them over too, noting how pretty they were. “Did you have these for an event or somethin’?”

“No, I bought them on sale at Seiyu. I thought I would use them for something but instead I have just left them sitting here for 10 years.”

“What about all these notebooks and stuff? You’re keepin’ ‘em, what did you do with ‘em?” McCree gestured the hand holding the box toward the sketchbooks on the bed.

“I draw in those sometimes. Feel free to look in them. They are not very good.”

“Oh!” McCree dropped the box into his bag, immediately setting the bag down afterwards to go look in the books. He opened the one on top, a blue one filled with thick paper. There were drawings inside, some colored but many not. McCree thought they were very good despite what Hanzo had said. “These are really cool! Are these people you’ve seen before?”

“No, I just start drawing and sometimes things come out like that.” Hanzo was still sorting through the stuff on the shelf, pulling off the things he wanted to trash and laying them on the desk.

“These are so cool...” McCree flipped through the blue book til he reached the last of the drawings, switching to a black one afterwards. It had carvings in the thick cover, Japanese words and a couple figures. He opened it, and inside were totally different styled drawings. “What are these? They’re different.”

Hanzo turned around to see what he meant, quickly smacking his hands away and closing the book.

“Those are very old. This was my first sketch book from when I was 12. Keep out of that one.”

“Alright, I’m sorry.” McCree wasn’t really sorry, and was sure that once he got another chance he was going to go through it again. The drawings weren’t as good as the ones in the other book, but they were cute and looked like little alien people. He reached for a different book instead, opening it to find English writing with Japanese notes in the margins. “Oh, Han am I allowed to look at this one?”

“Which one?” Hanzo had gone back to sorting out his desk, and turned around to see what he meant. “Oh, that is just a story. I was trying to improve my English by writing a story in it.”

“I love this...” McCree stood over the book, reading it from the beginning. It seemed like it was an excerpt from something else, and he wondered where the rest of it was. Maybe one day Hanzo would let him read all of it, and not just this little bit. He flipped the pages over, trying to skim the passages to see what was happening without wasting too much time. Suddenly the story stopped, right in the middle of a passage, and picked up as a totally different story on the next page. The new story was about pirates it seemed, and McCree started wondering how many stories he had tried to write in English. He also wondered if he was still writing them, or if he had given that up due to depression. He read a little of that one too, before Hanzo pushed the computer tower against his arm to get him out of the way.

“None of this is very good. It is just something I do for fun when I am lonely.” Hanzo set the tower down beside everything else, since it was heavier, turning back toward the desk right after.

“I think it’s pretty good.” McCree made himself close the book, pulling himself out of the little fantasy world Hanzo had created. “Do you ever write anything in Japanese?”

“Why, would you like to hoard it so you can read it when you are fluent?” Hanzo was just joking, but his tone was more serious.

“Well, maybe. There somethin’ wrong with wantin’ to learn a whole ‘nother language just to read what your boyfriend writes?”

“Boyfriend?” Hanzo stopped stacking the books he had pulled off the top shelf, looking over his shoulder at McCree. “I do not remember that happening.”

“I mean...” McCree smiled more to himself than anything, standing back up straight only to lean back on his heels. “Wouldn’t ya think that’s what we are now?”

“Boyfriend...” Hanzo didn’t answer, instead just going back to the books. He had pulled all of them off of the top shelf and put them into piles on the lowest part, pressing his hands to the sides of them to align them perfectly to each other.

“That don’t bother you, does it? I mean, I could be jokin’ if it does.”

“No, it is fine.” Hanzo picked up a stack of large books, turning around to hand them to McCree. “Set these behind you. You are in my way.”

“That’s how it’s goin’ ta be then.” McCree smiled at him then, taking the books and doing as he was told. When he turned back around, another stack of books was being held out to him. “You got a lot a books.”

“Yes. I will be honest in that I have not read most of them. I get them, anticipating that I will want to read them, but the thought of sitting down and actually starting it feels like something I should avoid. I feel like I am waiting for a sign that I can start reading, which hasn’t come. I have just bought more books without reading any of the others.” Hanzo handed him a third stack then, before turning back to the desk to take down what was left of the top shelf.

“I wonder why ya feel like that. I mean, it ain’t like you’re super busy all the time. You could totally take a couple hours to read instead a... Mopin’ around, probably.”

“Probably is very likely. I used to do several things to occupy my time, like playing video games or reading, or even just leaving the house and going somewhere. After I came here though, I did not feel up to doing anything, really.”

“So you just sit here, by yourself, in this trash covered apartment, not doing anything fun?”

“The first year was different. I had a lot of time and nothing to do, so I spent my time buying things and doing crafts. I have a ship in the other room that I spent a couple days repainting, and I bought a machine to create clothes that I could not buy. Also, when Genji first started distancing himself from the clan, he mentioned to me that if nothing else, he could get a job at a conbini. ‘They will hire anyone,’ he said. So I even went so far as to try to get a real job. At that point the clan was still running, so I did not have access to their unlimited funds like I do presently. It did turn out though that when people find out you are ex-yakuza, they stop coming to the conbini because they are scared of you.”

“That... Is unfortunate. Also, what’s a ‘conbini?’ It sounds kind a like ‘bikini.’”

“A conbini? It is a small store like the ones attached to gas stations. I am unsure of the word in English as I do not recall ever needing it.”

“Oh, like a convenience store! Oh, conveni- conbini. It must be a borrowed word!”

“Let us go with that. Here we use a lot of foreign words in place of Japanese words, since initially Japanese did not have many words that matched up with the foreign words. Such as that paan is French based, meaning bread.”

“You all didn’t have bread until France came over?” McCree looked horrified, because everyone knew bread was a staple of any diet.

“Apparently not. We make rice cakes instead. We did not farm wheat until westerners brought it over, I believe.”

“That’s really insane. I can’t imagine not havin’ bread for every meal. Biscuits and sliced bread and dinner rolls, oh my!” McCree laughed at himself for that small reference. “You ever had toast or anythin’?”

“I have had bread, yes. We eat bread, Jesse. Not traditionally, but we have it.”

“Oh, alright.” He felt stupid at that, since he hadn’t realized that they actually had it. Not that that mattered, because Hanzo had probably been to every country imaginable and eaten just about everything there was to eat. Kind of like himself, but he probably had better standards and the money to eat those standards.

“Hey, what about this stuff?” McCree reached around the other man and grabbed one of the notebooks on the top shelf, to which Hanzo just waved a hand at.

“Those are old, I do not need them anymore.” He reached up and grabbed another one, flipping it open to reveal pages and pages of scrawled notes and paragraphs in a language that wasn’t English or Japanese.

“What... What is this stuff?” McCree had opened the one in his hand, which looked similar to the one Hanzo had. “I can kind a read this one, actually.”

“It is from my French studies. After I left home I needed to keep practicing, because initially I had planned to run away to France. I spent about a year trying to get as fluent in it as I was in English, but as I became progressively more depressed, I stopped caring. I have been to France since then, but then decided that it would be too much hassle to actually move there, so I am still here. More fluent at least, but still here.”

“That’s cool actually...” McCree looked through the pages, trying to find something he could read the handwriting on. His French wasn’t written as well as the English, but it was still readable. “Oh, this says something about shoppin’ right?”

“It might.” Hanzo didn’t look, instead just closing the notebook in his hand and handing it toward McCree. “You should just throw them away, there is nothing of interest in them, just practice sentences.”

“If you say so.” McCree closed the one he had as well, taking them over to the trash. Hanzo was quick to toss a few more at him, which he stopped himself from looking into before throwing them away. Nothing of interest, nothing to learn about the other man, so they were useless.

“Oh, do you like any of these?” Hanzo had cleared out the notebooks and actual books, pulling a game box and a deck of strange cards off the shelf. “I do not ever have anyone to play with.”

“What are these?” McCree took the cards from him. They were in a black box with white lettering. He opened the box to see that it was full of cards all printed with text instead of like regular cards.

“It is a card game for parties. I used to go to parties, until, everything. It is fun. You read the card, and then people anonymously lay down one of their cards that will make the black card funnier.” Hanzo pulled out one of the black cards, reading it aloud. “Blank ruined the school field trip.”

“Is that it?” McCree pulled out a white card, and read it as well. “Extremely tight pants?”

“I hate when that happens.” Hanzo stuck the black card back in the box, pulling out a different one right after. “During sex I like to think about blank.”

“Uh, personal.” McCree pulled out another white card, suppressing a laugh as he did so. “Teachin’ a robot to love.”

“That could actually be true.” Hanzo went to pull another card out, but was stopped when McCree put his hand over top of his.

“What do ya mean?” McCree was lost, not understanding what Hanzo had meant by saying that could be true.

“Well, you said you had thought my legs were cybernetic. It is close enough I think.”

“You were talkin’ about yourself?” McCree smiled a little at that. “I didn’t think you were a robot, by any means. Robots are warm inside, you know.”

“Jesse, you flatter me.” Hanzo smiled back at him, taking the slight jab as a compliment.

“I do my best.”

“Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“Is it true then, the card?”

“Hanzo.” McCree laughed a little, having expected something else. “I mean, technically, I always believed that I could get ya ta open up a little. Maybe not love, not then, but maybe now.”

“Are you doubtful that I can love?” Hanzo’s smile twisted into something else, a smirk that dared the other man to keep talking.

“Sometimes.” McCree grinned back at him, not willing to play into his hand yet. “Why, do you think I’m bankin’ on it?”

“I think you would like me to be able to.” Hanzo couldn’t help but smile again, really wide at that.

“Me? I don’t mind either way. There’s some people who can’t have any romantic attractions.”

“It would not bother you if I never learned to love, then?”

“Nah. All that matters is that you’ll tolerate me bein’ around ya.” McCree looked down at his hand then, where Hanzo had started to twist it around to hold it on top of the card box. “Might be gettin’ some mixed messages here though.”

“Does this mean something to normal people?” Hanzo looked down at their hands too, his smile faded but still present.

“Holding hands?” McCree let the arm holding the box of cards relax, lowering it to set the cards down. “Does it mean something to you?”

“I am not sure.”

“Does it make you feel nice?”

“Yes. Your hands are warm and mine are very cold.”

“I mean inside.”

Hanzo looked back up at him then, looking confused. Holding hands had lost its meaning a decade ago for him, but holding this man’s hand was different. He wasn’t holding it because he was forced to, or because if he wasn’t holding it, it would be hitting him or otherwise be causing him harm. This was nice, he had to admit. Was this a normal thing for men to do together? He supposed that it must be.

“I do not feel sick about it, if that is your question.”

“Han.” McCree twisted their fingers together, moving his other hand to the other’s side. “I mean, like, you know.”

“Does holding your hand make me want to take off my clothes? No, I am sorry.”

“Han, please.” McCree laughed a little, pulling him close. “Not everything is about sex, you know.” He pressed their foreheads together then, doing his best to get as close as possible. “Han?”

“Yes?”

“I’m totally in love with you, you know that right?”

“I know now, if I did not before. I cannot say that I know what love is, but I can say that you have become very important to me.”

“That’s all I need, really.” McCree slid his arm all the way around the other man, holding him tightly against himself. “I feel like I could just stand here and tell ya I love ya in a hundred different ways, but I ain’t goin’ to for your sake.”

“You could. That makes me happy.”

“I shouldn’t.” McCree kissed him then, deciding it was a better alternative than rambling on forever like his mind wanted to. Hanzo kissed back, but pushed against him after a minute with the hand that was still holding the other box.

“Jesse.”

“What’s wrong?” McCree pulled back, worried.

“We should save this sort of behavior for after we clean the apartment and it no longer smells like trash. While I would love to keep doing this, I feel it will derail our mission for longer than I want it to.”

“Fair point. So you’ll kiss me more after I clean your apartment?” McCree smiled at him, figuring he would shoot him down.

“No, a man coming to clean is a popular setup in the pornography industry.”

“Oh, well in that case.”

McCree stepped away from him then, untangling their hands and going back for the box of cards. He put it back together, and put it on the bed. Then he took the board game box from Hanzo, laying it on the bed as well. He was sure they could get this place straightened up quickly, especially if Hanzo wanted to play like that. He spent the next few minutes helping to clear off the rest of the desk, before grabbing some boxes to put all of the stuff in they were going to keep. Soon that was squared away too, and they were one step closer to being done with the place.


	30. CH 29 Act 7 Scene 4

“Now time for the living room.” McCree spoke as he set down the last box he had made, full of the stuff from the desk.

He had moved the ‘keep’ bag from the closet and put it on the bed, and put the supplies from the bathroom in their own box that wasn’t the small garbage can. He put that box on the bed too, which was now full of everything from the three areas that they were going to keep. McCree had brought the garbage bags out from the other two rooms too, making a pile for them between the bed and the closet door. Things were starting to look up, but the worst was yet to come.

“I know there are things in there that we can keep.” Hanzo looked toward the other room, which held a couch, the coffee table, and a small table to the left of the couch with some kind of machine on it. The rest of the room was garbage, besides the couch which was just piled full of blankets and a single stuffed animal.

“Okay, first I’m goin’ ta pick up the floor.”

McCree grabbed a bag, starting on the floor so they would have a place to walk. He picked up more of what was in the bedroom, with a higher concentration of candy wrappers. They were mostly all for peanut butter filled chocolate candies, with many being Christmas or Easter themed.

“I didn’t know they celebrated Christian holidays in Japan. Don’t y’all have your own religion?” McCree held up one of the wrappers, one for a peanut butter candy shaped like a tree.

“It became popular to do the celebrations, for fun. There is and has always been a small population of Christians who live in Japan, such as foreigners who came to live here and kept their traditions. Many of us just do the celebrations because they are fun.”

“Do you celebrate at all? I mean, I guess ya don’t really have anyone to do Christmas with, though.”

“My family was very traditional. My father was a Buddhist, and my mother only practiced Shintoism. When I was growing up, we practiced both. I do not particularly like Buddhism myself, though, and Genji was not interested in religion in general.”

“So what’s with the little Christmas candies?”

“They taste good. I love the peanut butter inside of them and when you go to Seiyu, they have whole bags of these. Usually these only come in small round shapes wrapped in foil, but these are better. Oh, Seiyu also sells these large versions of the cup shaped ones, that have much more peanut butter. Those are my favorite.” Hanzo walked over to the kitchen then, pulling open the cabinet above the toaster and pulling out a package of the larger peanut butter cups and showing them to McCree. “See how large they are?”

“They sure are large.” McCree had never seen those candies that big before, so he assumed it was just a Japanese thing. He couldn’t help but look past Hanzo though, back into the cabinet he had opened. It was full of junk food, and a few boxes of pop-tarts.

“I buy four or five packs of them every time I visit the store. They are my favorites.” Hanzo replaced the candy in the cabinet, closing the door before McCree decided the kitchen needed to come first. “Sorry that they are all over the floor.”

“It’s okay.”

McCree shook his head, trying to remind himself of the task at hand. He went back to picking up the wrappers, tossing them into the bag by the handful. He did that with the whole area, picking up everything around the couch and coffee table. After the floor was picked up, he tossed the remaining boxes he hadn’t used in the other room to the floor, sweeping more handfuls of trash off the table and into the bag. Soon the room looked much better, with 90 percent less trash per square foot.

“Alright, now let’s see what we have.” All that was left was clearing off the couch, and the small table to its left which held that machine. Between that table and the wall to its left was another table, a kitchen table that was also covered in miscellaneous garbage. McCree decided that he would take care of the kitchen table while he was in this room, since it was on the carpet and not the hard floor like the rest of the kitchen.

“I want to keep these.” Hanzo walked over to the couch, pulling off a blanket that was tucked into the cushions, and another that was folded into a triangle and draped over the side. He laid them down on the coffee table, and then reached for a couple that were on the back of the couch. “And these.”

“What are those? Those look really neat.” McCree pointed to the ones he pulled off the back of the couch, which were brightly colored.

“These? They are things I picked up on my travels.” Hanzo unfolded the smaller one, showing it to have bright stripes and a diamond pattern in the middle. “I found this at an antique store in the southern United States. They told me it was a blanket from the Pueblo tribe, I believe.”

“Oh wow... I ain’t never seen a real one.” McCree stared at it, wondering how something that old could be in such good condition. It had water damage on the middle of it which caused the colors to run, leading to slight discoloration, but otherwise it was really nice.

“Do you like this?” Hanzo folded it back up, laying it on the coffee table with the others. “It has a few holes in the sides, but otherwise I think it looks nice.”

“Yeah, I love it actually. I think it’s cool, ‘cause I think that’s the tribe my dad was from. He didn’t really know but they were from that part a the States.” McCree reached a hand over, stroking the fabric with his hand to know what it felt like. “This thing has ta be a couple hundred years old, maybe more. I’m from around there and I’ve never seen anythin’ like this.”

“What about this one?” Hanzo unfolded the larger one with that, holding it in front of himself to show the bright colored stripes all across it. “This is a Mexican serape, I am pretty sure. Not quite so nice as yours, though.”

“Oh my god... That one’s got ta be a hundred years old too! They don’t make ‘em like that anymore, they make ‘em on machines like white people. See, like this one I’ve got.” McCree took off his serape, holding it out to compare to the other. The difference was huge, with the older one being stitched with straight lines across the body of it, and his having a pattern around the border. “Mine’s handmade, my mamá made it, but she made it with a machine. This one looks like it was made with a traditional loom, ‘cause a how it’s striped like that.”

“Interesting.” Hanzo folded that one up as well, laying it on the pile with the others. “Well, I am keeping them. And this as well.” Hanzo picked up a stuffed bear off the end of the couch, which look ancient. He hugged it and smelled it, and then looked back up to McCree.

“Is that really important to ya?”

“Yes. It belonged to my father. His mother kept it for him, and gave it to Genji for his birthday. Genji did not care for it, so I traded him for it. It means more to me than anything else in this apartment, do you understand that?”

“I understand. Let’s put him in a bag with the blankets, and that way he won’t get hurt. That sound good?”

“That sounds good.”

McCree set down his trash bag, which was surprisingly not full yet, and readied another bag. He put the blankets into it first, putting the bear in afterwards to wrap him in the top blanket. After he was done he tied the top on the bag, taking it back into the bedroom to set it on the bed.

“Ok, everything important is in the bags now. What about that little pillow?” McCree pointed to a little blue pillow on the couch, which looked brand new.

“It came with my bed set. I do not need it.” Hanzo picked it up and tossed it at the other man, who wasn’t expecting it and only barely caught it.

“I’m glad that wasn’t like, a big rock or somethin’.” McCree laughed a little, shoving the small pillow into his garbage bag.” Oh, what about this stuff?” The wall between the side of the couch and the bedroom was also full of stuff, piled up like it had nowhere else to go. At the end was a tall square shelf unit, with nothing on it but a few books and a large pirate ship at the very top. McCree gestured along the whole wall, stopping at the shelves.

“Uhm...” Hanzo moved to get closer to the wall, picking things off the top of the garbage pile to examine them. “This is all garbage. You can throw everything in here into the garbage.”

McCree went right to work, filling the first bag the rest of the way up before opening a new bag. There wasn’t a lot of candy wrappers in this mess, instead just napkins, plates, some soda bottles, and some old books, as well as a few cans of air freshener. At least he had tried at some point to make it smell better. McCree got the mess cleaned up in no time, tying the knot on one bag and filling another up halfway. When he was done he pointed to the shelf, mainly toward the ship that was up as high as his head.

“What about this? Is this the ship you said you repainted?”

“Yes it is. It looks nice, does it not?”

“It does. You got a box big enough for this?”

“It was in the closet, so you probably threw it away.”

“In the closet?”

McCree didn’t remember throwing away any boxes in the closet, just the clothes, so he wandered back in there to see. He found them on the very top shelf, the place he had forgotten to clear out. He pulled down the boxes, but most of them were just packing boxes. There was one with a picture of a ship on it, so he knew that must be the one for the ship. He took all the boxes back into the living room, dropping the packing boxes on the floor with the ones he had brought. He handed the ship box to Hanzo, since he didn’t know how it would fit in there. Hanzo took the box, taking the ship off the shelf in the next minute before setting them both down on the coffee table. He pulled out an insert in the box, one with holes cut out for the ship to sit in, placing the ship in it right after. He then replaced the whole thing into the box, making it look like it was there the whole time.

“Good as new.” Hanzo held it up by the little plastic handle, admiring the fact that he really did get it back in the box before taking it into the bedroom. He came back right after, pulling the whole stack of books off the other shelf and handing them to McCree. “You should keep these.”

“What are they?” McCree looked at them, and they were all texts in Japanese. Some had photographs of people printed on the cover, and others just had designs.

“They are Japanese history books. If you wish to learn the language I will ask that you also learn the history.” Hanzo picked up the book on top, flipping it open to show it was full of pictures. Beside the pictures was Japanese and English text explaining what they were. “This is a book full of traditional hairstyles. It is nice to look at. The others have English translations if you read them backwards.

“Translations huh?” McCree took the book off the top and flipped it backwards, but opened it to see more Japanese text. “This one’s broken.”

“You are the one that is broken.” Hanzo took it from him and flipped it over to how an American book would be read, handing it back to him afterwards. “This is backwards in Japan.”

“Oh... So read ‘em normal?” McCree looked inside that cover, and there was indeed English. He would definitely be spending a lot of time reading this stuff. He knew he could get through at least one of these on the long plane ride back, maybe another if he tried hard enough.

“Yes, normal for a westerner.” Hanzo set the rest of the books on top of the ship box on the coffee table, afterwards walking over to the table with the strange machine on it and pulling out a case from between the table and couch.

“You need any help with that?” McCree watched as Hanzo brushed the trash off the small table and onto the floor, and he sighed. He was over there the next minute with his bag, picking it back up while Hanzo did what he was doing.

“No, it is not that heavy.” Hanzo set the case in the chair that was with the table, taking the top off to expose the inside. He then unplugged the cords from the machine, packing it and them into the case soon after.

“What is that anyway?”

“A machine for making clothes.”

“Oh, like the one my mamá had, but a lot smaller. Hers was for makin’ blankets an’ stuff.” McCree finished picking up the trash, turning instead to look at this little machine. It was white, with knobs and buttons on it, and a little needle. “What all did ya make with it?”

“This.” Hanzo tugged on the front of his kimono, drawing attention to it. “You said before that the sleeve was torn up, so there was no reason for me to keep it, but I made this. I can replace the sleeve easily, the hard part is this pattern.” Hanzo gestured to the clouds that ran down the length of the sleeve, ending in a torn mess at the end.

“How did ya put that one on there?”

“I sewed it on by hand. I believe what I will do in the meantime is just make something different, until I can dedicate the time to redoing all of this.”

“I bet that took forever...” McCree reached a hand over to touch the sleeve, running his thumb over the embroidery. It was thick and flawless, besides the ripped bottom. Down there the strings were pulled out, irreparable with the holes under them. It made him feel bad for trying to get him to use this to wrap his wound before, after all the work he had put into it.

“It took a week or so. It would not have been that long, but my hand was cramping and I had to stop for a while.” Hanzo just stared at the other man’s fingers running over his sleeve, knowing that pulling away would be rude. “You should help me think of something else to wear.”

“Something else?” McCree looked up at him then, surprised. “I can’t even pick out my own clothes, Han. I’ve been wearin’ this for years.”

“What would you like to see me in, Jesse? Something revealing?”

“No! I mean, not for public. I don’t know... You’ve always worn this traditional stuff, haven’t ya? I don’t know anythin’ about that.”

“It does not have to be. I could use a change.”

“What about a suit? Like a western style suit. Oh, but not with a jacket. Just the vest, and like a cool shirt and a tie, and some pants. Make it all black and blue, with gold, like the stuff you’ve got now.”

“A suit?” Hanzo thought about it for a minute, chewing on his lip while he did so. “I think I could do that. The only time I have worn a suit was for some school occasion.”

“I think you’d look real sharp.” McCree smirked at him, thinking about what a guy with that figure would look like in a nice fitting suit. “Real sharp.”

“Playing into some fantasy of yours, I am sure.” Hanzo laughed a little, and McCree shook his head.

“Nah, not like that. You’re already a fantasy, you know? Mean, hard on me, that’s what I dream about. Big guy like me don’t get picked on too much. I like it like this.”

“You do not have some fantasy of that? I find that hard to believe.” Hanzo reached for the lid to the case, replacing it before he forgot. “Take this into the other room.”

“Sure, boss.” McCree picked up the case, turning toward the bedroom.

“Oyaji.”

“You’re welcome.”

“No, oyaji is boss in Japanese. Specifically a yakuza boss. Play into my fantasy.”

“Heh, alright. Sure, oyaji.” McCree took the case into the bedroom, coming back shortly after. “What’s next?”

“Tsugi wa nan desuka.”

“Tsugi wa, nan desuka.” McCree tried to mimic what Hanzo had said, his southern accent bleeding through still.

“Good. You do not overthink it. What about the kitchen table?”

“It’s a mess. Anythin’ on there ya want ta keep?”

“Doubtful. I think it is all a catchall for the trash I bring into the house. There is a stack of napkins in the back, but I cannot remember the last time I used one. Throw it all out.”

“You don’t want ta go through it and make sure?”

“No. If I cannot remember what is on it I will not miss it.” Hanzo reached down to the floor then, picking up the small unused garbage can and a box from beside the sewing table. “I will put these away.”

“Got it.”

“Hai, oyaji.”

“Ain’t that yes?”

“Hm?” Hanzo stopped halfway to the bedroom, turning back to look at McCree. “Hai? We can use it for that sort of thing. Are you going to question my usage of my native language?” Hanzo gave him a devilish look, waiting for a response.

“No, no sir.” McCree suppressed a smile, enjoying this although he knew he shouldn’t. “I trust you.”

“Good.”

Hanzo went back toward the bedroom with that, returning in a minute to find McCree hard at work shoving the garbage into a bag. When was the last time he could tell someone to do something and they would actually do it? This man was doing his best to clean this shit hole, a disaster of Hanzo’s own creation. He couldn’t help but feel like it was partially symbolic, in that this man would not only do anything he asked of him but would fix his whole life with the sweep of a broom. This was it, wasn’t it?

Hanzo didn’t feel like he needed to control McCree, but instead just let him do what he needed to. All his life his father had tried to teach him how to lead, how to command, how to manipulate. “This is the foundation of business, Hanzo.” The issue always laid in the fact that Hanzo had no interest in business. He didn’t want to own a business, or exploit workers (which his father argued he didn’t do). He just wanted to help, but helping wouldn’t let him live up to the clan’s expectations. As he got older the clan’s activity shifted more to criminality, and he soon got lost in that. He found threatening shop keepers for protection money was much easier than his father’s way, and he made more money that way. What had once been a security company devolved into a powerful and well-trained yakuza clan, run by people who only cared about how much money they could hoard in their safes. That, Hanzo had wanted to be in control of.

This man though, he liked it when Hanzo was hard on him. He liked it when he was being commanded, probably on a more sexual level than anything else. Hanzo knew that he could and would stop him if he went too far, which is a check he never had growing up. The men under him had no choice but to submit to his command, and if they didn’t, he would kill them, or worse. Thinking about it now though, he could see why he had snapped on Genji that night. At least he could say now that he wasn’t afraid he was going to kill McCree. He wouldn’t be able to live without him after all of this.

“Jesse?”

“Yeah?” McCree looked up from the table, which he had successfully cleared off only to find something sticky covering parts of it. “I’m goin’ ta scrub this off, you have any dish soap?”

“Yeah...” Hanzo went to the sink and grabbed his nearly full bottle of dish soap, handing it over to McCree. “Do you need a rag?”

“Yeah, I left my stuff in the bathroom. Would you mind gettin’ it for me?”

“Sure.” Hanzo went back to the bathroom then, bringing back the bag full of cleaning supplies McCree had brought with him.

“Thanks. How do ya say that?”

“Arigatou.”

“Oh, you roll your r’s in Japanese too. That’s cool!” McCree took a rag out of the bag and held the soap up next to it, looking at it like he was missing a link. “I need to get this wet.”

“Mizu ga iru.”

“Mizu ga iru?”

“Hai.”

“Please?”

“Mizu wo mottekite kudasai.” Hanzo smiled at the other man, who was just giving him a pleading face.

“You talk so fast. I ain’t got a clue what any a those words mean.”

“Mizu is water. Iru is to need, and mottekite is the command form of ‘to bring.’”

“Ok, uh, I can’t remember all that.” McCree laughed, and Hanzo covered his face with his hand.

“Give me your rag.” Hanzo held out his other hand, and McCree pressed the rag into it. “You know, I learned English because my tutor did not speak Japanese at all. She spoke it to me and I had to learn.”

“I ain’t as smart as you, though. Plus I’m real old, it’s hard for me ta learn new things.”

“I can tell.” Hanzo shook his head with a smile, going to the sink to wet the rag. He brought it back soon after, giving it back to McCree.

“What’s on here anyway?” McCree started scrubbing the sticky mess off the table, having to use more force than he had in the bathroom.

“I have no idea. Probably food or drink.”

Hanzo stood over the other man as he scrubbed down the small table, and then wiped down the two chairs that were around it. He made a comment about possibly moving the table to sweep under it, to which McCree replied that they would definitely have to do that. After he took care of the kitchen table, McCree folded up the small sewing table and took it into the bedroom to put with everything else. Hanzo told him that everything else had come with the apartment, like the couch and tables and desk and bed. McCree asked about the small shelf the books and pirate ship had been on, but Hanzo just dismissed it. He said it was unsteady and too small, so he could throw it out. With that all out of the way, McCree decided it was time to start on the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Japanese 101 with Hanzo more like, please stop give me a lesson plan or SOMETHING. Immersion is the best way to learn though but god does that take forever.


	31. CH 30 Act 7 Scene 5

With the living room clean, all that was left was the kitchen. McCree could only guess as to what horrors laid in there, from stale food in the cabinets to molded take-out in the fridge. Hanzo had drank the whole can of soda that he had brought from there earlier, so he knew that the soda was at least good. In fact, that might be the only thing that wasn’t disgusting. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to start, but opened a bag anyway. He figured that at least 90 percent of this would be in the trash before they were finished.

“I am sure there is not much to throw away here.” Hanzo opened the cabinet he had opened earlier, which was the one full of candy.

“Oh no, we are throwing all of this out.” McCree came up beside him, reaching a hand into the pile of candy and tossing it in the bag. “You can keep your big Reese cups but all this junk food needs to go, now.”

“Jesse, really this is all good. I just bought it.”

“So you can buy it again, but maybe stuff made of vegetables.” McCree didn’t let up, throwing handfuls of candy into his bag while Hanzo stood by and watched the massacre.

“I have vegetables already.”

“Oh yeah?” McCree responded, but didn’t seem interested. He was solely focused on trashing everything in the cabinet. He moved on to the pop-tarts, tossing in the boxes. He did find a collection of cooking spices on the far side, but didn’t ask Hanzo what he wanted to do with them before throwing them away too.

“I use those.”

“They look like they were only used once. ‘Cept this garlic which looks like you used all of it.”

“I need another one. I use that to cook tonkatsu. The ginger is for the chicken.”

“Yeah and then you have full bottles of everything else. What do you use the red peppers for?”

“Teriyaki sauce.”

“And this other stuff?”

“Also teriyaki sauce. It requires a lot of different things to taste right.”

“Are those the only two things you cook?”

“No. I make pancakes and other American breakfast foods.”

“I guess that counts. Wait, that means you have eggs...” McCree finished throwing the spices in the garbage then, suddenly fearful of what was in the fridge. “I can’t live not knowing what’s in there.”

“In the fridge?”

“Yeah. Oh my god.” McCree moved over to the fridge, slowly opening the door as soon as he was close. He looked inside, and was surprised at how empty it was. There was a carton of eggs, a loaf of bread, three unopened rolls of cinnamon rolls, a package of pre-cut cookies, and a bottle of some pale orange sauce in a clear ketchup bottle. Otherwise it was empty, nothing moldy in sight.

“Are you satisfied?”

“There’s nothin’ in here.” McCree turned over his shoulder to look at the other man, who had his arms crossed and a tired look on his face.

“Did you really think I would keep disgusting food in my house? It is one thing for me to throw my wrappers on the floor, but even I cannot eat rotten food.”

“That’s fair...” McCree closed the door of the fridge, lifting up to check in the freezer. It had more in it, but it was all stuff that could be heated in the microwave. There was a bag of broccoli on the door, as well as a plastic cup filled with shaved ice. “Hey, what’s this all about?”

“What?” Hanzo looked over his shoulder to see where he was pointing, which was at the cup of ice. “Oh, it is snow.”

“Snow?” McCree pulled it out, opening the lid and sticking his finger in. “I thought you got a plain snow cone and didn’t eat it all.”

“No, no.” Hanzo took it away from him, reaching over him to put it back on the shelf. “Just leave it alone.”

“Why? Are ya savin’ it for somethin’?”

“Nothing specific.” Hanzo turned away then, opening the cabinet above the sink. “We should start with the dry stock, and leave the cold things alone for now. There is no sense in getting them out so they will get hot and smelly before we are done cleaning.”

“Yeah...” McCree shut the freezer, turning back around to grab his bag again. McCree wondered what the significance of that cup of snow was, but didn’t feel like it was a good time to ask about it.

“Am I allowed to keep these?” Hanzo pulled out a stack of plates from the cabinet, holding them out to McCree. They were white, with a red and black swirl coming from one corner.

“Oh, those will look great in your new house!” McCree took them from him, setting them down on the counter. “What else do ya have?”

“These, and some others, and...”

Hanzo opened up the other side of the cabinet, gesturing for McCree to look inside it. On the right side were 6 glasses, the kind that had always been used in the old Nesquik commercials. All of them were different, sporting pictures and logos on the sides. One was covered entirely in a photograph, which McCree couldn’t quite see. The left side was where the plates came from, and there was still a stack of larger plates there. McCree wondered if any bowls had come with that set, because there were four matching mugs in between the two sides. The shelf above that was full of plastic bowls, with large pasta plates underneath. The top shelf was nearly empty, which McCree knew was because of Hanzo’s small size.

“Is this all the dishes you have?”

“I have some pots and pans in the cabinet under the stove, and some clean things in the dishwasher.” Hanzo stepped back, pulling open the dishwasher. In there was a bunch of silverware, Tupperware bowls, and the missing bowls to the dish set.

“Awesome!” McCree ran over to get a box, unfolding it and getting the roll of tape he had used for the bedroom boxes to tape it together. He started for the dishes right after, but was stopped by Hanzo grabbing the plates before him.

“You are not putting my glass dishes in a box together without wrapping them up. Were you raised in a barn?”

“No, I was raised in a doublewide. I’m sorry! I didn’t think about gettin’ somethin’ to wrap ‘em in. You want ta wrap ‘em in dishrags or somethin’?”

“How about you wrap them carefully in napkins. I have a whole roll on the counter, and another under the sink. Carefully.”

“Alright, I can do that.”

McCree took the roll of paper towels off the rack, pulling them off in wide sheets. Hanzo handed him one plate at a time, inspecting his wrapping before handing him the next one. Once those were all wrapped, they moved to the bigger plates, then the bowls, and lastly to the cups. After a while they had wrapped all of the glass dishes and placed them neatly in the box, meeting Hanzo’s approval.

“Alright, so am I clear to throw out everything else?” McCree stood back to admire his work with that one cabinet, closing the doors before reopening them so it was obvious it was done.

“No, why are you so eager to throw out my whole kitchen?” Hanzo went behind him then, opening the cabinet under the stove. “What about my cooking pots?”

“Oh yeah, those too.” McCree grabbed another box and prepared it, setting it down between the two of them. “Let’s put that stuff away too.”

“You are insufferable.” Hanzo rolled his eyes, pulling out a rice cooker first. “What would you call this?”

“A Crock pot?” McCree looked at the cooker, which had a deep metal insert and a glass lid. “You can put soup in it.”

“Close enough. Put this away for me and wrap the lid.” Hanzo handed it over to him, and he did what he was told.

“What is it really?” McCree wasn’t satisfied with his “close enough” answer, needing to know what it actually did.

“It makes rice. I have made soup in it before, although it is not as good as when you make it on the stove. It is also a vegetable steamer, but I prefer boiled or grilled vegetables. Steamed vegetables have no flavor.”

“Oh...” McCree had remembered making rice when he was a kid, helping his mother in the kitchen with stuff that was easy. When he was older they traded, her letting him cook the real food while she fried the rice. They had always made it in a skillet, though, which was much different than using this pot.

“I think I should throw these out.” Hanzo held up some metal pans, which were rusted and stained from years of use.

“Those are fine, they’re supposed to look like that.”

“They were shiny silver when I bought them, though.”

“Yeah, well see this one is a pizza pan. It just turns out like that when you use it. This skillet though, it ain’t non-stick. So we can throw that out.”

“I am sure that this pan should not look like it was burned, though.”

“No, I mean, if ya want a new one you can do that. There just ain’t nothin’ wrong with the one ya have. If ya get a new one, it’s just goin’ ta turn out the same way. Oh, What if we got ya one a those mesh ones?”

“A mesh pan?”

“Yeah, like one without a solid bottom like this one. Then when it gets all rusty, ya won’t be able ta tell.”

“Take this.” Hanzo shoved both the pans toward McCree then, forcing him to take them.

“Alright?”

“You can throw them out. They are too ugly to keep. I will get one like you said.”

“Alright. Maybe one a us should be keepin’ a list a the stuff we’re goin’ ta need to replace for your new house. Mind if I use one a those old notebooks?”

“Not at all.”

Hanzo went back to the pans under the cabinet then, pulling out the cookie sheet, pasta pot, and the rack for his oven while McCree went into the other room for the paper. Hanzo had emptied the whole cabinet out onto the floor by the time he came back, staring down at the stacks like he didn’t know what to do with them next.

“Ok, so I made this list a shit we threw out that you might want to get new of. So far I’ve got the pizza pan, and a new skillet for the kitchen section. Oh yeah, I put them in groups so it’ll be easier to shop for ‘em. Ain’t this cute?” McCree turned the paper to show to Hanzo, and he pointed to the first square labeled “kitchen,” then to the next one which didn’t have a label. His handwriting was neat and straight if a little cramped, but he could definitely fit more stuff on the list with it like that.

“Cute?” Hanzo wasn’t sure he would qualify an organized list as “cute” but it was pleasing. “I appreciate the organization of the list. You should put some new pens on there. I am going to buy them, inevitably, so we may as well plan for it.”

“Done.” McCree put the paper on the table and started a square for the bedroom, which probably should’ve been in a different office space. Oh well. “Anything else for the bedroom area? You know, you don’t have any pillows. You want to pick some up?”

“Oh, actually that reminds me.” Hanzo left the pile of pans on the floor, going back into the bedroom. They had somehow avoided the nightstand, probably because they were caught up in the desk situation. He pulled a bag out from between the wall and the nightstand, throwing all his bottles of pills into it. McCree had come to watch, unsure of what he was doing.

“That sure is a lot a pills, Han. Do ya need all those?”

“These? They are all vitamins.” He pulled out a big bottle, showing McCree the label. “Multi vitamin. And these are vitamins for my skin, because I like that. This one is my sleeping pills, because I am an insomniac.” Hanzo pulled out one bottle after the other, dropping the previous bottle back into the bag. When he was done naming off his pills he went back to throwing the stuff into the bag, grabbing a glasses case next.

“Hey, wait a second. Are those glasses?” McCree stopped him from just tossing them in, reaching a hand toward him.

“Yes? I need them.”

“Well of course. I just never thought about ya wearin’ glasses. Could you... Could ya put ‘em on for a second?”

“You want to see me in my glasses?”

“Yeah. Is that bad?”

“I suppose not. But you have to put them on afterwards.” Hanzo smiled at the other man, who only laughed in response. He took the glasses out, a thin pair with rectangle frames. He put them on despite still wearing his contacts, but that didn’t matter. “Oh, and this.” In the next minute he took down his hair, running a hand through it to straighten it back out. The combination of everything made him very striking, and McCree couldn’t have made himself look away if he wanted to.

“Wow.”

“Do you like this?”

“Like it? I don’t think I’ve ever been more attracted to anyone in my life.”

“You put them on.” Hanzo took them off, his head starting to hurt from wearing too many seeing aids, handing them over to McCree instead. “You will look very cute.”

“You know, I’ve got 20/20 vision already.” McCree put them on, squeezing his eyes shut immediately after from the strain it caused. “You are seriously blind, Han.”

“You are very cute in those. I am satisfied, take them off before you hurt yourself.” Hanzo reached up to take the glasses off of him, standing close to him. “Do you really think I look good in these?”

“Yeah, you’re real hot. You look like you should be teachin’ me somethin’ hard and borin’ but the only reason I’m payin’ attention is ‘cause you’re hotter than the sun.”

“Oh, I could teach math. No one likes math, besides me and engineers. Can you do logarithmics?”

“I ain’t actually goin’ to learn anything, here. What about history? Literature?”

“Too fun. I like math. I prefer geometry and trigonometry to calculus, though. It has more applications to my work. Have I shown you my arrows? I have so many.” Hanzo went to go find them, but McCree blocked him.

“Let’s focus on cleaning first, and then you can show me everythin’ you want alright?” McCree wrapped his arms around the other man to prevent him from going off to get his arrows, holding him against himself.

“Can I focus on something that is not terrible instead of cleaning out my kitchen?”

“Is that why you came in here again? Do you not want to do the kitchen?”

“No. I am very stressed by being in there.” Hanzo wrapped his arms around McCree in return, resting his head on the other’s chest. “I am very tired and I have not done anything to help you. It is very hard for me to stay focused on this task and I apologize.”

“You cleaned the whole desk by yourself, and ya took all those pans out of the cabinet. And ya helped me pack those plates and things. You’re helpin’, you don’t got ta feel bad.” McCree stroked the other man’s hair, resting his chin on his head.

“Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“Were you serious about what you said to me earlier? That you loved me?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t joke about somethin’ like that. Why, are ya alright?”

“I was just thinking, that there is so much you do not know about me. My past, my continuing issues, because we have only known each other for about a week. I could sit here and tell you everything I can think of, but you will still not have much of an idea of what it would be like to be around me every day. You only know the me who would rather kill you than look at you. I am unsure as to how you have formed such an attachment to me with just that.”

“Well... I’ve been around a lot. I’ve been with all types a guys, but with you it’s different. You don’t fuck around like all them guys. You ain’t scared a me, and ya trust me more than I ever expected ya to. I don’t know if it’s ‘cause we saw Genji, or if you actually want ta be around me, but I don’t mind either way. Bein’ here, goin’ through your stuff like this, this is closer than I’ve ever been to anyone. I don’t think it much matters how long we’ve known each other. I’m 36, the world could burst into war again in an instant, and I’d rather just be around you than think about that stuff. Sure I might be jumpin’ the gun a little, confessin’ to ya like that. But for me, this is what I’ve been lookin’ for. I just feel like, after I get your apartment all cleaned up, I’m goin’ ta know ya better than all my past boyfriends put together. That means somethin’ ta me, anyway.”

“You know, I have never let anyone come to my apartment. I used to call the repairman to fix things, but when everything started looking like this, I left the broken things too. You are quite literally the only person who has ever seen this. The fact that you are still willing to help, and that you made that confession in the middle of cleaning this catastrophe, that means something to me.” Hanzo pressed himself against the other man then, hugging his arms around him tighter. “I also feel that I know you better than anyone I have been with in the past. You are a simple man with simple needs, and are willing to put up with me. I appreciate you. Although I spent the better part of our time together trying to hate you, I did have an enjoyable time. I would not have let you live that morning after we met had I not felt some resignation. That moment, you did not fight me or anything. The look on your face was not fear either, it was more like a puppy that had gotten pinned but still thought it was playtime. That is why I did not kill you, if I am honest. I thought about that look for the whole plane ride to Nepal.”

“Really?” McCree laughed a little at that. “Me finding that totally hot saved my ass. Now that’s a new one.”

“It was charming. The last man I did that to lost his life because he thought he could overpower me. He thought incorrectly.”

“I guess there’s guys out there that don’t see a valid threat when it’s right on top of ‘em. Sad, really.”

“Jesse?”

“Yeah? Is everything okay?”

“When you say you are in love with me, what do you mean? What does being in love mean?”

“Uhm...” McCree paused a minute, unsure of how to answer that. What _did_ he mean? It was just this feeling, he wasn’t sure how to put it in words. He just felt in love. “I guess... I just feel it? Like... I care about you. I want ya to be happy, and healthy, and doin’ better than ya are now. Mainly I guess, I just really like ya. I like bein’ around ya, I like when ya talk about stuff, just the sound a your voice makes me happy. Like I said earlier, I could probably talk forever about all the stuff I like about ya. I just love you, that’s all I can say.”

“Will you still love me when I tell you of my crimes? Or when I have issues that impair my functioning? I have so many issues, Jesse.”

“I’ll tell ya right now, I already know all about your crimes. When Blackwatch was sent ta break up your clan, we had to know all about it. I ended up not goin’ out for it, Reyes did, but I still know all about it. And what we didn’t know Genji told us, so I think I’m pretty caught up. That don’t bother me at all. And the issues... Well, Mr. Zenyatta is goin’ ta help ya with that, right? We can work on it together. I’m just goin’ ta be here and support ya. I’m certain you don’t do nothin’ that’s worth me leavin’ over, alright? Don’t worry yourself over stuff like that. If I can deal with ya threatenin’ ta kill me all the time and otherwise just being awful to me and still think you’re really great, I don’t think anythin’ like that is goin’ ta be an issue at all.”

“I am sorry Jesse. Love should be a positive thing, but I have lived most of my life with someone telling me they loved me when they spent every minute with me beating me down. I am going to try to understand that you are not like him. I want to believe you. I am going to believe you. I want to feel safe like I did in that cave...”

“Hanzo, it’s goin’ ta be fine. I’ll do anythin’ I can to make sure ya feel safe with me, alright? The last thing I want ta do is hurt ya. Here, let’s sit down.” McCree eased himself onto the bed, and Hanzo climbed into his lap, straddling him.

“You love me... Can we stay here for a minute?”

“Of course.” The two of them stayed there for a while afterwards, not saying anything but just enjoying the time together. It was relaxing, and both of them enjoyed the short break before they had to go back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear. Love is such a strong word but it's so nice to hear... Let's give a round of applause for Hanzo accepting McCree's affection without getting defensive!
> 
> Note: I was going to address the cup of snow but I think it's better I didn't. That's for another story, where I will address it. All my stories they... Kind of go together. After this I mean. There's parallels. I can't English today sorry! Hypothesize about why Hanzo has a cup of actual snow in his freezer and feel free to comment your ideas!


	32. CH 31 Act 7 Scene 6

“Is this safe?”

McCree had laid down, pulling Hanzo down with him. They had been like this for a few minutes, a result of Hanzo trying to avoid cleaning out the kitchen. It shouldn’t have been such a hard task, he knew, but it was impossible for him to get into cleaning it. Somewhere inside he wanted to just have the place clean and stay here, which was fine right? It’s clean, and some vacuuming and air fresheners would fix it up really nice. And then he wouldn’t have to actually move, and he wouldn’t have to throw out his food. For some reason, this last area really sent home the idea that he was really making a change. Besides that, being in the kitchen in general gave him anxiety. It was both at once now, and he would much rather lay here and go to sleep instead of finish this project. Giving up was alright, he decided. Unfortunately, McCree was here to finish what he started.

“Yes. I like this. We should stay here for the rest of the day.”

“Nah, we have to get back to work. If ya want, you can stay here and take care a that nightstand. I can do the kitchen by myself if ya don’t want ta help in there.”

“I really do not want to do anything in there, honestly.”

“I can take care of it. Hey, look at me.”

“What?” Hanzo lifted up off of him to look at him, looking confused.

“Can I kiss you?”

“How ridiculous. Are you going to ask me every time now?”

“I didn’t ask the first time, or the first few times, but I will if I feel I should. Is that too much?”

“It would not fit you if you were not being too much at all times. I promise you the answer will always be the same for me. I am not going to ask you though.” Hanzo smiled at him teasingly. “How are you going to kiss me from down there, cowboy?”

“Oh, we’re back to the name-calling. Lucky for you I’ve been tryin’ real hard to look like a cowboy so that’s a compliment. And I don’t know, Han. Maybe like this!” McCree grabbed the other man’s face then, pulling him down into a kiss. Hanzo laughed against him, putting his hands in the other’s hair.

“There is too much on the bed for me to fully enjoy your kisses, cowboy.”

“Good, ‘cause right after this I got ta get back to work.” McCree pushed himself up then, upsetting Hanzo and nearly pushing him completely off. “Sorry, but I did come here to clean.”

“You are a terrible person. You pull me in, make me feel safe, and then create a work environment to help me get through my issues. I am disappointed in your lack of enthusiasm for taking this further, Jesse.”

“Han, really I promise we can do that after I get this place clean alright?” McCree smiled at him, holding back a laugh. “Besides, I’m not really one for that stuff anyway. It’s nice, it feels good, but I don’t really need it, ya know?”

“Need it?” Hanzo rested his arms on McCree’s shoulders, leaning in close again. “Do you not think about it in the morning and at night and feel as if something is missing from a relationship if you do not get it when you desire it?”

“Uhm, no? I guess I don’t really desire it. There’s some things I look at and think are nice, but I can’t say I’m ever just with someone and get the urge to just go to town. Like with you, it was nice when we did it, but I wasn’t really thinkin’ about it prior to ya comin’ on to me so hard. Like I’ve said before, I don’t want nothin’. I ain’t thinkin’ about that kind a stuff.”

“You are not thinking of it now? Or when you kissed me? Or, or earlier when I told you that we should not do something because we had to clean and you seemed excited to be done with the cleaning so we could do something?”

“Oh, nah I just wanted to clean. I’m tellin’ ya Han, I just don’t feel it. I’ll do it if you want to, I don’t mind, but I ain’t sittin’ here waitin’ for ya to take your pants off or anythin’.”

“Interesting.” Hanzo slid off his lap then, reaching out to take his hands to help him up too. McCree took his hands, standing back up with his help.

“Alright, I’m goin’ back to work.” McCree kissed Hanzo once more before going back into the kitchen, leaving Hanzo alone in the bedroom.

Hanzo was confused more than anything. He had never met a man that wasn’t solely interested in sex, making this a first. He started again with packing the nightstand into his bag, taking the time alone to think about that. Was it like how he didn’t know what love was? He didn’t imagine that it could be similar. One was a feeling, and the other was an action, or something. He wasn’t entirely sure how either of those would be classified, but he knew they weren’t the same thing. Sex, romance, no one ever talked about it in public, at least not in Japan. Not that he would particularly know, as someone who rarely left his house. When he did leave his house it was to eat, and most nights he spent the night elsewhere with someone whose name he wouldn’t remember by morning. Social activity wasn’t really something he was involved in. This was definitely the first time he had met anyone who actually talked about that sort of thing, but he was lost throughout the whole conversation. McCree had just been so sure that he didn’t need sex, that he never even thought about it. This was so foreign, especially to a man who couldn’t go a single day without entering into a physical relationship. He realized though that he had gone the whole trip to find Genji without chasing down random men. He had just been stuck with that cowboy, and he hadn’t been about to give himself to him when he was trying to be annoyed with him. At least he seemed to be alright with having sex, even if he didn’t think about it at all. That would be fine.

McCree on the other hand, didn’t think anything of the conversation. He went right back to work, opening new bags to throw stale boxes of dry food into. There were some things that weren’t stale, but he decided they could just buy him new food. He threw out everything in all the cabinets that was food related, which was all the upper cabinets besides the one that used to hold the dishes. Even the cabinet above the refrigerator was filled with food, but McCree couldn’t figure how he had managed to get it up there considering his height. McCree reached it easily, tossing it all in the trash. He then readied a bag for the things in the cabinet under the sink, but opened it to find it was full of cleaning supplies. He removed them and packed them into a box, leaving out the bleach and a couple extra sponges. He left those on the counter, and finished cleaning off the counter with the toaster and silverware on it. He packed that stuff away, and then turned to the fridge. He knew there wasn’t as much in there as he had originally thought, but it was still most likely rotten.

He opened the fridge and immediately pulled out the eggs, which was nearly a full carton. He decided to cut down on the mess and crack each one individually into the garbage disposal. He ran the water over it, but none of them seemed to smell bad. It was possible that they weren’t rotten, but he got rid of all of them to be safe. He tossed the empty carton and everything else from the fridge into a bag, including a package of cheese slices, single packages of ham, and the shelf of condiments. Everything went in, and he tied the top and set it across the floor. The only thing left to do was wash the cabinets and counters, and he got to work on that right after. He went over everything with the 409 first, scrubbing up all the crud that was stuck to the counter and stove. He went over it again with the bleach, making sure everything was totally clean. He stood back and admired his work, stepping back into Hanzo who had finished what he was doing in the other room.

“I put all of my things into a bag, and I brought the bows out of the closet and put them on the bed. I cannot leave them there, for multiple reasons.”

“You can’t leave them in the closet? Why’s that, you just don’t want ta forget ‘em?”

“Mainly. Also, if I forget them then someone else will get them and have no clue how to use them. They might figure it out and then I will have to find a new way to make bows that is stronger than my current method.”

“Wait, you make your own bows too?” McCree was surprised, not believing that Hanzo not only made his own clothes but made his own weapons too.

“Yes. If you promise not to tell anyone, I will take one apart and show you how it works.”

“Oh, hell yeah. Listen, all we have left is to clean out that utility closet and sweep the floors, maybe go to town and rent a carpet shampooer. And take out this trash, of course. If you help me with that stuff then I’ll let ya show me all your gadgets alright?”

“That sounds fair. I will take out the trash. There is no trash in the closet, but you should put the bed sheets in the dryer.”

“The sheets!”

McCree had totally forgotten about the sheets, and ran over to throw them in the dryer. It wasn’t that it was a huge deal that he had forgotten, but more that he didn’t know how long a dryer took anymore and wanted to make sure they were dry to pack when they were ready to go. Certainly by the time he cleaned out the closet, swept, and let Hanzo show him his weapons, they would be dry. He tossed them in and started the cycle, stepping over to see what he could pull out of the closet.

“Hey, I wanted to ask ya about this bag up on this top shelf. Is it a keeper?” McCree pulled the bag off the shelf, holding it up to show Hanzo.

“Oh, it is a bag of syringes. They are much too small for what I need them for so you can toss them out.” Hanzo picked up a few bags of garbage, taking them out the door and into the hallway to throw them in the trash room.

“Oh.”

McCree looked into the bag, and it was indeed full of syringes. He didn’t feel like throwing them in the trash was an acceptable way to get rid of them, hence why they were shoved up in the closet, but he didn’t know what else to do with them so he just threw them into the trash can inside the closet. That trash was totally empty besides the needles, so he decided that he could probably shove the needles into a different bag of trash and save this bag. No sense in wasting a full bag for just that. He finished pulling everything else out of the closet after the trash, pulling out a vacuum, a mop and bucket, a bag full of recyclables, and a bag full of other bags. He remembered that his mother had always kept a bag full of bags at home too, and figured it must be a constant no matter what culture you’re from. He elected to throw out the bag of bags, send Hanzo to the recycling area, and then he would use the vacuum, broom, and mop to clean up the floors even more. By the time he returned from getting the broom out of the bathroom, Hanzo had come back from the trash run.

“Hey, so I think this is about squared away. Would ya mind runnin’ this bag of cardboard and stuff when you take the rest of the trash, and I’ll clean up the floors?”

“I can do that.”

Hanzo picked up the rest of the trash as well as the bag of cardboard, and left immediately after. McCree started working on the kitchen floor then, sweeping under the cabinets and fridge before dumping the dirt all on the carpet. He then went to vacuuming everything, from the living room to the bedroom to the closet. The carpet changed color from black to brown, which he assumed to be the natural color. There were still some small stains, but nothing major, so he decided it was time to mop. He filled the bucket with water, using the dish soap he had put in his bag from cleaning the table in there. It wasn’t floor cleaner, but he figured it would work fine. As soon as the bucket was full he plunged the sponge mop into it, which looked like it had never been used before. He mopped the whole kitchen, and then went into the bathroom to mop in there. While he was in there he flushed the toilet, rendering the whole bathroom totally clean. With everything done, he dumped out the water in the sink and wrung out the mop. Hanzo came back while he was doing the latter, walking into a place he hadn’t seen look this clean since the first day he lived there.

“This is... So clean.” He looked around, noting that everything was empty besides the bed that was piled full of the stuff he was keeping. “You even mopped the floor. I bought that mop years ago and never used it.”

“I could tell.” McCree put the mop back in the empty bucket, setting it over next to the vacuum. “You have all a this stuff like you planned ta clean up, but none of it looks used. I guess I’m just glad ya had all this stuff here, ‘cause it makes my life a little easier.”

“Of course...” Hanzo went under the kitchen sink to find something, but paused when he realized it was all empty. He looked around for a minute, landing on a box that wasn’t sealed. He opened it, pulling out the air freshener that had been under the sink previously, spraying it all throughout the apartment. He replaced it when he was done, putting his hands on his hips and facing McCree with a smile.

“Nice, now it smells less like garbage and more like... Flowers?”

“Lavender, actually. It is an herb.”

“Works for me. Help me move those boxes off the bed and into the living room so we can look at your bows.” McCree went over to the bed, picking up one box at a time and taking them over by the door. Hanzo helped, stacking the boxes on top of the others. After they were done, Hanzo set to work dismantling the newest of his bows.

“Look at this, here.” He pointed to the inside of the body, which was a solid metal. “This is a prototype I was working on before I left. It is thinner than the others I have built, which were mainly the same design with different bodies. The internal mechanisms in the rest of them are all identical, but this one is more condensed. This in here is a weak magnet. It is very thick to support the thin body, but the magnetic pull is only strong enough to hold a thin metal.” He took the wood piece off one of the arms then, revealing a contraption inside. “This, this is what makes this bow stronger than the others. While my usual bow is as high powered as hunting bow, this one is stronger.” He pointed to a large metal cylinder that was almost as wide as the base of the arm, which looked like it was actually two pieces. The piece toward the end of the arm had a thick string running the rest of the length of the arm and out the end. “This is the power, here. These are the highest strength magnets that money can buy. I only have a handful of these, and I used four of them for this prototype. I am barely strong enough now to pull it back enough to fire it, and even then I can only hold it for a minute.”

“Whoa... No wonder you’re so built. I figured that ya just lifted weights or something, but this is some next level shit. You built this all out a magnets? All your bows are magnet powered?” McCree was cautious about touching the insides of the bow, but ran a finger down the outside of the arm. “This is amazing, Hanzo.”

“Thank you. My first bow was a short bow, when I was young. My father thought it would be cute, but I ended up being obsessed with it. He kept buying me better bows the longer I used them, eventually buying me the best bow on the market when I was 18. It was a slim recurve-compound hybrid, which is what I model all of my bows off of. I loved the style, but they did not have enough power. The compound element was strong, and the recurve made it silent, but the two worked against each other. So I had a better idea, you see?” He reached over and picked up a different bow, not the one he usually carried but one that quite literally had the mandible of an animal on it. “This is one I made a couple years ago.” He took the arm cover off of that one, revealing the workings inside. This one was vastly different than the first one, and had small compound workings inside. “See, with this one I tried to just magnetize the compound element. It is the same design I have been using for nearly 15 years, and it works well. It is silent, and more powerful than a traditional compound. This one is also magnet powered, but there are several medium strength magnets instead of the larger, more powerful magnets.”

“This is ingenious... How did you think a this? How did ya build this?” McCree couldn’t stop staring at the bows in front of him, astounded at how capable this man had to be to even think of a design for these. Magnets? Who would’ve thought to put magnets inside of a bow? And the fact that it worked was completely insane.

“Oh, I built my first one when I was 20. In Japan, 20 is a special age. It is the age in which you truly become an adult, and I had the designs drawn up before then. I asked father to have it built for me, because that was all I wanted. The bow I killed, er, when I fought Genji, that bow, that is the one that was made from those plans. The man who made it is very talented with all kinds of materials, and is able to do the technical work for me. Unfortunately I do not have the dexterity to build them with my own hands, so he has been building all of them for me. I had him build this prototype nearly a year ago, using new plans I made. He said that it would not work, that the arms could not support the strength of the magnets when drawn back. But, he managed to alter the pattern so that it would, and now I practice with it. Eventually I will be able to pull it back and keep it steady, and it will be my new main bow. The one I use currently is the one I had him make most recently, before the newest one. All the others are much older. He also makes my arrows for me, which are also magnetic. No one else can use my arrows, because they do not have nocks.”

“No nocks? You mean the thing that holds the arrow to the string? How do ya do it then?”

“Oh, hold on.” Hanzo went into the living room then, grabbing an arrow from his quiver and bringing it back in the bedroom. “On the end is a magnet, not so strong that it would hold it on after being fired but strong enough that I do not have to hold it. I pull it back by this here.” He pointed to a small thing attached to the middle of the string that came to a point, a perfect size to hold between his fingers.

“This is so cool Han, you don’t even know how cool this is ‘cause ya did all this, ya know? I would’ve never thought about puttin’ magnets in a bow like that, and especially not on the arrows.”

“Of course not. Magnets are one of my special interests, I needed to find a way to combine my interests so I did not need several warehouses to hold all my collections. This way it is practical.” Hanzo turned the arrow over to show him the tip, which had three metal knives touching the tip but otherwise pointed outward. “This tip is also magnetic. When I shoot this, if I shoot it at a flat hard surface, it will shoot these knives out in all directions. I can generally predict where they will ricochet to by measuring geometric distances and such.”

“Han, you have everything. You’re so smart, you know that right? You’re amazing. What else do ya have?”

“Well I have regular arrows, and an arrow that uses a pulse to show me the locations of people. It is useful for the stealthier of my activities.”

“Han, you’re literally the smartest guy I’ve ever met. That probably ain’t sayin’ much, but it’s true. I love you. Holy shit Han, you could do something with this!” McCree gestured his hands over the set of bows, smiling at Hanzo. “I mean, if ya wanted to, you could sell the design for those previous models. Keep the new, impossible ta use one for yourself. You could make clean money sellin’ this shit ta people who can’t use ‘em half as well as you. Damn, you’re amazing.”

“Do you think I could sell these? They would have to be special order, and I would have to dumb down the design. I would have to leave out some parts of them, things that I created for my use only. And I would not sell the complex arrows, but I could sell the regular tipped ones. It is doubtful that anyone else would put magnets in the arrow tips, would they?”

“Highly doubtful. Most people ain’t as good about this as you are. They would take this, and maybe take it apart, and then not know how to improve on it. Someone would probably want ta buy the plans for it, to make improvements ta sell, but you can deny that. Ya still have the original plans, right?”

“Of course. This is something I would not mind revisiting later. Oh...” Hanzo turned and looked out the bedroom window, and then looked back to McCree. “It has gotten late. We should probably start turning in, if we want to get our errands run before that flight tomorrow.”

“Yeah, we still need ta put these things in storage for ya, and hand over the keys to this place. I think it looks alright enough to turn it back in, don’t ya think?”

“It looks wonderful. Jesse...” Hanzo laid his arrow and bow pieces to the side, focusing on McCree. “I really appreciate you doing this for me. If I had come by myself, I would not have done anything. You worked so hard to help me clean this place, and I do not have much to offer you but free fare home.”

“Home? Han, you’re greatly mistaken if you think I have a home. Before I met you, I was on my way to Georgia. I have some family there, some of my mamá’s relatives. I ain’t seen them in 10 years, but I figured they would give me a bath at least. Really Han, if ya want ta give me somethin’... Let me come with you. I want ta hang out with Mr. Zenyatta and Genji, but especially you. You told me you’d like that too.”

“You want to come with me to California? I did not realize you were serious. I would love that. I just... Did not want to seem too excited for you to ask about it.”

“Excited? I want ya ta be excited. Over me, over these bows, anythin’. The days a you bein’ sad all the time and feelin’ like ya can’t talk about shit, them are over. If a thought comes ta your head, just say it to me. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

“You cannot just say that like that.”

“I just did. I love you, Hanzo.”

“Stop that. Go get the sheets out of the dryer and put at least the fitted sheet back on this bed for tonight. We can sleep here.”

“Sleep together, and if ya want you can do what you been wantin’ ta do all day with me.”

“Jesse, you should not tease me.”

“Oh? Stay right here. I’m goin’ ta get those sheets and then we’ll see who’s teasin’ who.”

With that McCree got up, a hand up to tell Hanzo to stay. Hanzo just grinned at him, waiting for him to get everything together. They probably wouldn’t sleep much tonight, but the next day they had little to do before their flight. Sleep is for planes, anyway. Hours later and they would be sitting on a sandy beach with Genji and Zenyatta, figuring out how to rid Hanzo of all his past traumas and help him learn to forgive. It would be a lot, but Hanzo knew that he had the best support team he could ask for. It would only get better from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last official chapter! Stick around for an epilogue if you want. It's just a fun little addition where nothing bad happens and everything is too easy.


	33. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take this. All I want is for all of them to be happy and gay and here it is. No critique please! I wanted a little self-indulgence to end this angsty mess of a fic.

The sky is a bright blue, clear besides the remnants of thin clouds scattered across it. The air was warm, and smelled like salt as it came off the sea. The sun was high, but it couldn’t be seen because of the large striped umbrella shoved into the sand, stuck firmly between two chairs. In the chairs laid two men, one human, the other an Omnic. They were both dressed as if they were going to swim, but neither had gone any closer to the water then when it was high tide. The water had receded since they set up camp, but their partners had followed it out as it went.

They had been there most of the day, taking a day off from their travels and home visits to Omnics and their allies. Two of them had taken a plane from Nepal to Northern California about two weeks earlier, the other two taking a plane from Japan, and now they were here, just to the south of Long Beach, but more north than San Diego. There weren't many other people here, which made the day quiet and relaxing, just as they had all wanted. It was a nice change of pace from what they had been doing, at least.

“Yo, what’d you do with the food?” Genji trotted up to the two on the beach, snatching his towel out of the bag as soon as he was there. He wiped down his body quickly, which was easy given the materials his body was made from. The towel was rolled up in the next instant and shoved back into the bag, and then he walked to the back of the chairs where the food cooler had been hidden.

“Don't need ta ask if you use them eyes a yours. I know they gave ya new ones.” McCree didn't remove his hat from his face, laying unmoving as his friend rifled through the cooler behind him. Genji didn't really need to eat, but he figured he still did it because food tasted good. McCree knew he would if he was made like that.

“Yeah yeah.” Genji retrieved a sandwich, and then sat down on the mat to Zenyatta’s right to eat it. By the time he got that far, Hanzo had come back as well.

“Genji ate all the food, sorry.” McCree could hear him as he approached, knowing it was him without looking.

“It is to be expected. His stomach is not real, so he can just eat forever. It is quite fascinating.” Hanzo didn't bother drying off, instead going straight to the drink cooler and pulling out a bottled soda. He then went to sit on the mat to the left of McCree, leaning his side against the chair.

It went back to being quiet after that, the four of them sitting back listening to the sound of the waves and seagulls between Genji’s loud chewing. This was nice, and the entire atmosphere was healing.

Over the course of their travels, Genji and Zenyatta had worked diligently to do anything they could for Hanzo’s broken mind. He had met up with them nearly as soon as they landed in California, with McCree in tow. He hadn't looked to be any worse for wear, but he didn't seem to want to talk about anything he did in Japan. Everything that was said about it came from McCree, who detailed to Genji the donation of the castle, the consolidation of Japan-based bank accounts to the one global account (along with an absurd exaggeration of exactly how much currency that entailed, Genji was sure), and a rough estimate of how many storage units had been required to store his stockpile of decorative weaponry and hand painted landscapes he had kept in the castle.

Over the past two weeks they had all been together, Zenyatta had taken Hanzo with him to a holy place every day, sometimes more than once. Genji stayed behind to entertain McCree, but couldn't help but feel left out in the spiritual journey. Zenyatta had come up with a plan, having dealt with people in similar states, but some things didn't quite work. They would make some headway with one issue, only to be set back on another that he didn't realize was connected to the former. It was found to be more complex than any of them had initially realized, since until now Hanzo had just made his own issues worse instead of trying to work on them. Finally though, with the warmer air in the south, it seemed like something might be working.

“This place reminds me of home, but it is much warmer. I like that.” Hanzo was still leaned against the other’s chair, sipping the soda every few minutes.

“Yeah? My mamá had family on this side, so I used ta come here a lot when I was a kid. And then the Crisis got bad, and I joined a gang, and gangs don't take beach trips. I could live here if I had the money, but I don't got enough for that.” McCree slid his hat off his face with one hand, resting the other on his partner’s knee.

“I have never lived directly on the sea. I lived inland my whole life, but most of the beaches in Japan are tourist locations anyway. This beach goes on forever, you could even build houses next to it and have the sea as your backyard.”

“Yeah, you totally could. And this is the same ocean as in Japan, so it’s still kind a like home, ya know?” The two went back to being silent then, staring at the water like it would tell them some secret.

“There is nothing stopping you from moving here. There are always houses for sale on the beach, although they are never very nice. I am sure with a little care, and some currency, you could make even a shack into something worth living in.” Zenyatta spoke surely, as if he himself had done much the same just moments ago. Genji let out a stifled laugh next to him, and wiped his mouth off.

“Or they could just tear down the shack, and pay some guys to build them a castle. A castle on the sea, just like an old feudal lord, eh Hanzo?” The younger brother leaned back, a small smile on his face.

“Do you think I would need an entire castle? What would you say next, that poor Jesse would have to clean the whole thing by himself?” Hanzo laughed a little at that himself, even though a castle did sound pretty nice. There wouldn't be anyone else there but him, but he wouldn't be able to promise that he would stay there for more than a few days at a time.

“Well I mean, you could be there, and Jess would be there since he doesn't actually have a house, maybe get a dog or three-"

“A cat, too, and maybe go to the orphanage and bring home some kids. Now that's a good reason to get a castle.” McCree smiled more to himself than at anyone specifically, imagining this big house like something out of a fairytale, full of dogs and cats and kids. That was the kind of dream house a child would think up, and spend the better part of their life saving money for only to grow out of it when they could afford it. But him, he never outgrew that.

“Kids? How many children are we talking about, cowboy?” Hanzo wasn't opposed to children, but he had given up long ago entertaining the idea that one day he could have any. Besides the obvious of him being a criminal, his body had never been capable of the task anyway.

“Oh I dunno, two? And then we can always go back and get more. There's like, a million kids in the system. We won't live long enough ta help ‘em all, but like, wouldn't that be cool?” McCree hadn't expected a response like that, but he had been prepared to answer anyway. He didn't feel like the other man was being serious at all, but he would keep this going if he could.

“Two is fine, and hopefully they come with names. I am very bad at naming things.”

“Really? I have a great name, how about Clint Eastwood?” McCree chuckled at that, but he really did like the name. It was the name of his favorite old-time cowboy, and it had a nice ring to it.

“Clem Foster wouldn't be as obvious, and he's from a better show.” Hanzo poked at him, naming off a character from one of his favorite westerns.

“Oh come on, but that guy isn't as good!” McCree laughed back, highly doubting that the other man would agree to name any child after a cowboy. “You know, I'm named after an outlaw. Jesse James!”

“Oh, so we should name our children Bonnie and Clyde then, to keep with the criminal theme.”

“Yo, any kid you all had would have to be a criminal anyway. Just give them a normal name and they'll turn it into something infamous.” Genji broke in, standing back up as he spoke. “Anyway, you can't have kids till your married, at least. So snap snap, get to it. Who knows when another war is gonna break out.”

“Another war? Well you heard the man Han, we have to get married right now. Immediately.”

“I have known you for barely over a month. That would be ridiculous.”

“Come on, we already made plans to get kids that come with names. Don't tell me you know me well enough to get kids with me but not well enough to marry me. That's kind a mean.”

“Yeah aniki, that's mean. Come on, let's go back out. The waves look huge!”

“Give me a minute.” Hanzo stood up, brushing the sand off his behind. “Jesse, I have a job for you. Tomorrow morning when we go out, go find me the biggest cheapest beach house lot on the market that is not next to much else. Buy it, and then find a contractor who will build something nicer there. By the time you are done we should be done too, and you will tell me everything I need to know about it, alright? If they plan to make war, I will plan to build a house.”

“That seems a tad backwards, don't it? What if there is a war, and then you lose the house?”

“Then so be it. I’ll build another.”

“Where’re ya gonna go while they're doin’ that?”

“Where are you going to go?”

“Well,” McCree looked out over the water thoughtfully. “I still ain't made it to Georgia.”

“Then we will be going to Georgia.” Hanzo spun on his heel then, heading back out to sea with his brother.

The next few days went smoothly as they visited more Omnics and allies, and then Genji and Zenyatta made a spur of the moment decision to go to France. Hanzo and McCree stayed in the States, deciding to take the long way to Georgia on the Maglev out of Los Angeles to Houston as McCree had just done about a month prior, and then on to northern Georgia. They arrived on February 21st, and McCree dragged him to the home of some Mexican family from his mother’s side he had living there that had been displaced by the Crisis. The introductions went well, and McCree's family accepted his new partner with open arms. It was a short-lived excitement though, as a beeper McCree carried started going off early in the day on the 23rd.

 

Recall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Hanzo opting to build a house with the threat of war is a callback to Yukichi Fukuzawa, the samurai famous for aiding in the overthrow of the Japanese Shogunate. With the threat of war, he opted to build a college. His reasoning was that the contractors were put out of work by everyone fleeing the town, so he could feed them until the war started. Also, his building a new school gave residents hope, showing that there was nothing to fear. People ended up staying in town, the war never reached there, and his college thrived. History!


End file.
